Welcome back, and happy fathers’ day, dear readers.
ALICIA KEYS in Givenchy
It’s not the most flattering dress – the way it drapes across her tummy and thighs is a little awkward, the bustline looks a bit crooked, and the feathered skirt looks rather cheap. That shade of lipstick doesn’t work well with her coloring, either.
This picture confirms for us that the 24-year-old actress has had work done. I don’t know exactly what it is, but something in that face looks awfully plastic. I do like the jewelry, and as far as jumpsuits go, it’s not awful, but your pants shouldn’t cover your entire shoes.
BLAKE LIVELY in Marc by Marc Jacobs
BLAKE LIVELY in Chanel
This dress is somehow totally Blake (i.e., see-through from the hoo-ha down) and totally child bride on the Oregon trail. That beyond-sloppy braid is ridiculous for a red carpet event, and those bracelets look far too cheap to be paired with a Chanel gown (even if said gown is less than movie premiere-worthy).
BLAKE LIVELY in Missoni
BLAKE LIVELY in Tibi
CAMERON DIAZ in Elizabeth and James
CAMERON DIAZ in Emilio Pucci
As boring as can be, but she doesn’t look drunk or disheveled, so I can’t complain.
If this shirt dress actually fit her, and the belt had one buckle instead of two, I’d actually like this. That color (I consider it halfway between mint green and robin’s egg blue) is really lovely, particularly for the summer, and it looks particularly fantastic with the tan belt and shoes.
CAREY MULLIGAN in Valentino
Other designers exist besides Valentino, darling. And they will likely make you look far less Mormon and dowdy. (But I like the faded color of those shoes.)
The half-Princess Leia hair is pretty awful, but at least Christina’s bosom is under control for once, if only because it’s masked by peach-pink ruffles. The 1950s scarf is silly, and all that black is a little severe on her porcelain skin, but I like the fresh-faced makeup. It’s far from good, but she looks far more put together than she usually does on the red carpet.
DIANE KRUGER in Alessandra Rich, with JOSHUA JACKSON
I find myself wanting to defend dresses like this, because celebrities should be encouraged to take fashion risks. However, they should not be encouraged to wear ugly-ass dresses just because they are beautiful women who get to have Pacey Fucking Witter on their arm. Diane, those sleeves are just ridiculous, and that stiff fabric looks very unfortunate south of your knees. The only thing I want in this picture is your belt and your boyfriend.
ELLE FANNING in Marc Jacobs
Okay, I actually take a significant amount of pride in this picture. Faithful readers of the blog know that this Diva simply lives to make predictions of which celebrities will wear what from the latest runway shows. I’ve been working on your red carpet predictions from the Resort 2012 collections for weeks now [Editor's Note: It'll be posted soon, I swear], and Elle Fanning wearing this Marc Jacobs dress was one of the first predictions I made! So even though her hair should be down and she needs a bit of jewelry, I’m too proud of myself for predicting this that I can’t really critique it. Love the shoes, even though they wouldn’t work with that dress on anyone but a 13-year-old movie star.
EMMA ROBERTS in Temperley London
There’s a Yiddish word for this: ungapatchka. Def: overly ornate/busy. Take away a few design elements, and add a fucking color, for the love of God, and it’d be quite a cute dress. But the shoes are the most boring choice imaginable, and the hair is a little lazy. Also, Ms. Roberts needs to learn that unless she’s willing to touch up those roots constantly, she cannot keep pretending to be a blonde.
EMMA ROBERTS in Alice + Olivia
EMMA ROBERTS in Razan Alazzouni
EVA LONGORIA in Monique Lhuillier
We actually think this dress is beautiful and that sea-foam green is just lovely. I’d have gone for a darker shoe, and I wouldn’t wear an ankle strap with a dress that went past the knee, and there are few things I hate more on earth than the oval-shaped peep toe, but she looks pretty fantastic overall.
EVA LONGORIA in Victoria Beckham
Oof. This could be great, if the shoes weren’t a slightly different shade of purple than the top of the dress. Not that we’d want them to match perfectly, but it would be better than the clashing that’s happening here. But that bright orange-red color is absolutely fantastic.
FLORENCE WELCH in Gucci
Florence is the new face of Gucci, so it’s no surprise that she’s rocking the label on her tour. You wouldn’t think Florence Welch and Jennifer Lopez would have the same dress in their respective closets, but alas, J.Lo wore this in hot pink to the 2011 Met Gala. But the yellow-green color of the dress and the teal floral shrug works way better on a hipster-fabulous rock star than it did in hot pink on J.Lo. But that could just be because we worship Florence and think J.Lo is one of the least talented celebrities on the face of the earth.
GWYNETH PALTROW in Alexander Wang
HALLE BERRY in Z Spoke by Zac Posen
HEIDI KLUM in Michael Kors
JENNIFER HUDSON in Michael Kors
Girlfriend is still milking that weight loss for all it’s worth, as she should be. Her body looks amazing, the dress is simple but sharp and chic, the shoes are fabulous. We like that she glammed it up a bit with the cocktail ring and earrings, and the neon manicure really pops against the white dress.
Stay tuned for Part II!
© Democracy Diva, 2011.