EMMA WATSON // dress by Brood, shoes by Tabitha Simmons
Well, at least we can still count on Ms. Watson, the two-time winner of March Fabness, to bring some much needed style and sass to the red carpet. It’s a bit overdesigned, but that’s what makes it perfect for the MTV Movie Awards, along with the chunky bracelets. I wasn’t a fan of the shoes at first, but they’re growing on me. Plus, the view from the back is simply stunning:
Bam. The thin strip of fabric down her back is sexy and fabulous, and the back peplum is adorable. Plus, the shoes are simply delicious from this angle. And the cherry on top of the cake is that Emma’s adorable pixie has now grown into an adorable bob, and she looks more beautiful than ever.
ANDREW GARFIELD // ensemble by Prada
Bask in the man candy, dear readers. With all the trendy fashionista ladystars at this event, it was Andrew Garfield in Prada who made my jaw drop. I love every inch of this outfit – it fits him beautifully, the color scheme is gorgeous, and it’s event-appropriate.
ELIZABETH BANKS // jumpsuit by Elie Saab, purse by Lulu Guinness, shoes by Ruthie Davis
Props to Lizzie for taking a risk. It’s not my favorite look on earth – in fact, it’s downright weird – but it’s futuristic, fierce, and fabulous. Unlike most of the over-30 stars at this event, Ms. Banks didn’t wear something incredibly dull or incredibly aging, and she didn’t try to look like a nineteen-year-old, either. She went with an adult interpretation of the frivolity and funk required for MTV red carpet events, and I dig it.
KRISTEN STEWART // dress by Guishem, shoes by Christian Louboutin
I’ll concede this much: I like the dress, and I like it on her. She’s fucking made for tiny little Barbie doll dresses trussed up to look badass and rocker-chic. The black pumps are insanely boring, and I hate the “I-don’t-give-a-fuck” hair (even though this is what my hair looks like virtually all the time, but I’m not on the red carpet every day and I don’t get free clothes and beauty products and lots of Twilight cash to pay for stylists). The smoky eye could be nice on her, but since she refuses to fully open her eyes lest she have to fully take in the unbearable pain of wearing free clothes at a party, it’s a bit overwhelming.
ELLIE KEMPER // dress by Dolce & Gabbana, purse by Jupiter Freedom, shoes by Alexander McQueen
You get the green purse or the pink shoes, Ellie, not both. All together, this screams Easter egg hunt, which I’m not sure is exactly what you were going for. If so, well, mission accomplished, I guess.
VICTORIA JUSTICE // dress by Erin Fetherston, purse and shoes by Michael Kors
I couldn’t for the life of me tell you who this girl is, but she’s got some style potential. I mean, it’s as elementary as red carpet fashion gets, but the bracelets are chic, the hair and makeup are great, and though the giant belt, giant purse, and giant shoes are a little overwhelming all together, one or two of them paired with a third, simpler accessory probably would have looked great.
CHRISTINA RICCI // dress by Christian Siriano, shoes by Casadei
That embellishment dress is actually made of watches, which is pretty cool, but I’m more concerned with the fact that the rest of the dress appears to be made out of Hefty bags. I actually think this dress is kind of chic and badass and great on her, but she let me down with the minimal styling. Black pumps and a watch? Have a little fun, Christina. It’s MTV, for fuck’s sake.
CHARLIZE THERON // dress and purse by Lanvin, shoes by Jimmy Choo
I’m sorry, but if you expect me to swoon every time Charlize puts on a little red or black peplum dress and strappy sandals, you’re in for some disappointment. I don’t care how pretty she looks – this is practically a uniform by now, and it’s not one that’s suited to the MTV Movie Awards. A Golden Globes luncheon, maybe.
MILA KUNIS // dress by Fendi, purse by Christian Dior, shoes by Jimmy Choo
Mila, I love the shirt you’re wearing, but you need to face the fact that it is a shirt, not a dress. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a stunning shirt and an even lovelier beach cover-up, but I cannot emphasize this enough: that is not a dress.
LUCY HALE // dress by Catherine Malandrino, purse by Edie Parker, shoes by Casadei
Malandrino is one of my least favorite designers, but this isn’t particularly awful. The skirt’s wrinkled to death and the colors make virtually no sense to me, and it lacks any semblance of originality, but it’s cute on Lucy, and the clutch and her rings dress it up beautifully. The silver pumps, on the other hand, should be burned in a fire.
EMMA STONE // top and skirt by Martin Grant, purse by Fendi, shoes by Brian Atwood
Can we just take a deep breath and admit that Emma Stone’s blonde hair is the absolute worst? I know she’s a natural blonde, not a ginger, but I don’t care. I hate this color on her. And that smear of pink lipstick doesn’t help. Neither does the dress, which is weirdly dull and fussy for this event. At least it’s well-accessorized – those shoes need a close-up:
I mean, those heels are pretty fucking killer. But they don’t excuse the dress, Ms. Stone.
CRYSTAL REED // dress by Issa, shoes by Walter Steiger
Dear whoever you are: 1. Lipstick with an actual color should be your friend. You are far too porcelain for that nude lip. 2. Stop destroying pretty cocktail dresses by pairing them with black ankle booties. It doesn’t work on anyone, least of all you.
KATE BECKINSALE // dress by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Salvatore Ferragamo
Sorry, I just fell asleep on my laptop. Wake me when Kate leaves the red carpet.
SHAILENE WOODLEY // vest, pants, and shoes by Stella McCartney
No, Shailene. Menswear on women can be great, but not like this. Get a vest that fits, or for god’s sake, wear something under it. And as nice as the pants/sandals combo looks, it’d look more at home on a forty-year-old woman. And don’t fucking get me started on that terrifying hair. It has a life of its own.
JESSICA BIEL // dress by Chanel, shoes by Barbara Bui
Honestly, I never like anything on Jessica Biel. She’s not elegant or graceful enough to pull off the old Hollywood glamorous gowns she attempts, and it’s clear she doesn’t have the style for the modern funky starlet either. That blunt bang is so unreasonably severe on her, and there’s nothing I like about this dress. The shoes would be okay if the part around the ankle were smaller. As it is, she looks like she’s wearing sweatbands around her ankles.
NIKKI REED // dress by Randi Rahm, purse by Pierre Hardy, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti
Darling, your dress appears to be literally falling apart at the seams. There is no excuse for this. You are now dismissed from the red carpet.
JULIANNE HOUGH // dress by Sally LaPointe, purse by Kelly Wearstler, shoes by Jimmy Choo
I just hate so much about this. Dear readers, please don’t make me look at this picture long enough to think of something witty to say. I swear, it hurts just to glance at it.
JENNIFER ANISTON // dress by Valentino, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti
In an increasingly unpredictable world, isn’t it almost comforting to know that no matter what happens, Jennifer Aniston will always wear a bathrobe-sized LBD and strappy sandals with a stick-straight center parted blowout and strappy sandals? (In case my sarcasm wasn’t clear, let me spell it out for you: NO. It’s not comforting. It’s boring to the point of insanity.)
LEIGHTON MEESTER // vest, top, and shorts by Christian Cota, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by Brian Atwood
Oh, good. We’re wearing giant slouchy vests that sag down our fronts like old-lady tits now? Excellent. I saw so hoping that would become a thing, along with bangles and mismatched gold accessories.
CIARA // dress by Balmain, shoes by Christian Louboutin
We’re a light breeze away from finding out if those rumors about Ciara having a penis are true. But whether she’s got a dick or not, my complaint is the same: THAT SLIT IS TOO FUCKING HIGH, GIRLFRIEND. And those off-white pumps are straight out of a 1980s drag queen’s closet.