The Week in Celebrity Fashion, Part 1

The first few weeks of school have already left me an exhausted, frazzled shell of my former self. But excuses aside, I think we all know it’s time for a metric shit-ton of bitchy blogging.

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY in London // gown by Chanel

Photo: James Higgins/Splash News

In case you were wondering what the sartorial equivalent of heaven is, well, look no further, dear readers. I don’t just want to get married in this dress; I want to get married to this dress. And if Keira’s still in it when that happens, well, let’s be honest – who would kick her out bed?

LIZZY CAPLAN on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno // dress by Stella McCartney, shoes by Ruthie Davis

Photo: Paul Drinkwater/NBC/Getty

You might just barely recognize Lizzy Caplan as the phenomenal Janis Ian from Mean Girls, but she’s also in basically every movie coming out this year, so get used to her being around. And I’m more than thrilled to get used to her presence, so long as she’s wearing amazing dresses like this tweed colorblocked delight. I see a lot of dresses I love, and dresses I’d kill to wear, but this is so my style, I want to rip it right off Lizzy’s back. Oh, and while I’m at it, I’ll take the fabulous sandals as well.

LIZZY CAPLAN in Los Angeles // dress by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Stella McCartney

Photo: Vince Flores/AFF-USA.com

Living proof that the wrong makeup and the wrong proportions can kill any look. Her body is fantastic, but the awful length of this dress makes you forget how sexy the top half of it looks. And I’m sorry, but a stylist license needs to be revoked from the blind clown who applied Lizzy’s makeup before this event. White foundation and fire engine red lips? Seriously? Sorry to get all Jewish mother on you, but who would do that to such a shaina punim?

ZOE SALDANA in Hollywood // dress by Elie Saab, purse by Judith Leiber, shoes by Brian Atwood

Photo: Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic

Her hair and makeup seem to have got consistently sloppier and lazier over the past few months, but you still can’t go wrong with Zoe Saldana in Elie Saab. It’s always an excellent match, and the accessories are incredibly chic.

JESSICA ALBA in Los Angeles // blazer by Stylestalker, pants by Current/Elliott, purse by Tod’s

Photo: Ramey

Nobody makes a stroll down the sidewalk look as red carpet-worthy as Jessica. The pants are fab and the shoes and purse are beyond cool, but it’s that freaking amazing tuxedo jacket-and-casual-tee combination that really does it for me. So utterly chic and laid-back, or as laid-back as someone can be when their “let’s just grab a cup of coffee” outfit costs thousands of dollars.

KIRSTEN DUNST on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno // gown by Jil Sander, shoes by Chloé

Photo: Getty

At first I was appalled – what’s Kirsten doing in a fucking ball gown on Jay Leno, for God’s sake? – but now that I see how relaxed and simple the rest of the look is (natural makeup, hair pulled back into a simple bun, no jewelry), I’ve become a fan. I think you have to be this particular kind of hipster starlet to pull off a gown like this for such a casual event, though, so let’s hope this doesn’t become a particularly widespread trend.

KIRSTEN DUNST in Hollywood // gown by Jean Paul Gaultier, purse by Chloé

Photo: Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty

I’m trying so hard to like this, but you know what? Fuck all that. If you want to wear a silky, draped gown, wear a silky, draped gown. If you want to wear a trenchcoat, wear a trenchcoat. If you want to wear both, PICK ONE, and don’t be the douche who thinks she call pull off a belted, double-breasted, spaghetti-strapped gown-turned-trench.

MIRANDA KERR in Sydney // dress by Erdem

Photo: Xposure

Did all the talented makeup artists in the world recently die in a fire? What the hell is going on with the makeup, ladies? She’s so beautiful, it takes a lot of effort to make her face look this awful, so Miranda, just start firing everyone around you, okay? I think that’s a safe place to start. You can keep whoever chose your dress, because it’s beyond lovely. And I see what you were going for with those shoes, which match the almost-impossible-to-see flecks of coral in the dress, but honestly, I don’t think it worked as well as you’d hoped.

CAMILLA BELLE in New York City // dress by Oscar de la Renta

Photo: Jayme Oak/INFphoto.com

I am about to type a weird sentence: I have a thing for Camilla Belle’s eyebrows. I mean, it’s nowhere near my love of Michelle Dockery’s eyebrows (Lady Mary of Downton Abbey, obviously), but it’s definitely becoming an obsession. Anyway, the dress is lovely and the hair, makeup, and jewelry are all fabulous. I wouldn’t have picked a nude shoe, but then, I’d almost never pick a nude shoe, just because I’m so tired of seeing them all over the red carpet.

MILLA JOVOVICH in Tokyo // dress by Erin by Erin Fetherston, purse by Prada, shoes by Yves Saint Laurent

Photo: Jun Sato/WireImage

Love the bouncy curls and the fantastic clutch. The dress is cute, but the purse is what makes the outfit work as a whole. Though she could have picked a more interesting shoe.

OLIVIA PALERMO in New York City // blouse by Fifteen Twenty, shorts by StyleStalker, sunglasses by Givenchy, purse by Gerald Darel

Photo: Splash News

Individually, as pieces, I don’t particularly like anything Olivia Palermo is wearing, save for her sunglasses. And yet somehow, together, she looks flawless. I wish I could explain or replicate this phenomenon, but I’m sure it’s beyond my bank account anyway.

JAIME KING in Los Angeles // dress, purse, and shoes by Jason Wu

Photo: Charley Gallay/WireImage

It’s a lot of sideboob for my tastes, but I still somehow love this look. That orange-red silk is perfect on Jaime, and I think the hard-and-soft contrast with the studded shoes and clutch looks pretty darn fantastic. I just wish she’d finally land on a hair color that doesn’t look like it came out of a bottle.

TAYLOR SWIFT in New York City // dress by Prada

Photo: Hall/Pena/PacificCoastNews.com

Taylor’s auditioning to be a Kennedy, y’all! And when you’ve got the all-American blonde hair and blue eyes, all you need is a vintage Prada dress and some bow-adorned red shoes to date American royalty. Girlfriend knows how to network, I’ll give her that.

CATHERINE, DUCHESS OF CAMBRIDGE at the Paralympics // jacket by Emilio Pucci, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

Photo: Stefan Rousseau/Getty

Love the coat-dress; hate the espadrille-looking platforms. I feel like if I never saw the Duchess south of her ankles, I’d like her wardrobe infinitely more.

ELISABETH MOSS in New York City // dress by Dolce & Gabbana

Photo: Jamie McCarthy/WireImage

That’s right, dear readers – Miley Cyrus wasn’t the only starlet to cut off all her hair and dye it platinum this month (but O’ll get to her in the VMAs post later on, so stay tuned). Mad Men‘s own Peggy Olsen seems to have graduated from Sterling Cooper and gone for a full makeover. I think the color actually works, though I’m not 100% sure the shape is right for her face. And if you’re going to wear a black lace Dolce & Gabbana dress after we’ve already seen thousands on the red carpet, it should be a much more interesting one than this.

Oh, and the shoes, Peggy? Burn them in a fire.

JESSICA CHASTAIN in New York City // dress, purse, and shoes by Yves Saint Laurent

Photo: Hall/Pena/PacificCoastNews.com

Jessica Chastain, your hair is flawless and your makeup is lovely, and that dress is such a lovely color on you. But this is somehow too loose in the shoulders and too tight in the bodice, and I’m befuddled by those shoes, which look like an ever-so-slightly jaundiced version of your skintone. You can look beautiful in anything, but I’m not sure why this was the “anything” you picked.

NICOLE RICHIE in Los Angeles // dress by Alberta Ferretti, shoes by Brian Atwood

Photo: Giulio Marcocchi/Sipa

The flapper thing is so 2011, Nicole. And this isn’t a particularly well-executed version. But I dig the shoes, even though they’re all wrong for that dress and they don’t work particularly well with your tattoo, either.

ZOOEY DESCHANEL in Los Angeles // dress by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Prada

Photo: Kirkland/Picture Group

If you’re going to wear the same exact thing literally every time you hit the red carpet, what is the fucking point of even showing up?

ASHLEY GREENE in Los Angeles // gown by Donna Karan, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: tomandlorenzo.com

Ashley Greene – you are not Barbie. Please edit your wardrobe accordingly.

EVA LONGORIA in Marbella, Spain // gown by Alberta Ferretti

Photo: Pablo Blazquez Dominguez/Getty

I hate the high ponytail, the ridiculously heavy makeup, and everything about this terrible gown. She’s about a foot too short and a size too small for it, and that shiny purple is terrible for a hundred different reasons.

The Democracy Diva will be blogging hard and fast again from here on out, so check back soon for updates on Project Runway, New York Fashion Week, the MTV VMAs, and the Venice and Toronto film festivals!


© Democracy Diva, 2012.
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Comments

  1. Does Kirsten Dunst’s dress fit her right around the boobs? She’s bulging out top and sides, and not in a good way. She looks like she’s got her arms clamped to her sides to prevent its sliding the rest of the way off.

  2. Your description of Kristens trench-dress is perfect. I had no idea where to even begin with that one, but your summed it up pretty well.
    I love Elisabeths new hair. Her Mad Men hair has always been unatractive (to the point where it makes me wonder what Don ever saw in her- then I remind myself that its a show) so this sexy little bob is a welcomed change.
    Im with you on Kate Middletons shoes. For someone who seems to shop as much as she does, you would think she would have a more interesting collection to pick from. As for the coat and dress, she looks like a flight attendant. Was it really neccesary to match a navy blue dress with a navy blue blazer? Its called color, darling- embrace it.

  3. OMG what is happening to Miranda Kerr’s eyes, the make up is terrible. Eva dress looks cheap somehow.

  4. I have missed your divalicious presence in my online life! Couldn’t agree more about Keira Knightly’s look – it’s just so divine! x

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  1. [...] straight-up killing it lately, in case you haven’t noticed. She rocked some Chanel in London earlier this month, and her black Elie Saab is lovely. I’m actually glad she went a little [...]

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