JENNIFER LAWRENCE
dress by Christian Dior, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Dave M. Benett/Getty

It looks like Cannes kicked off the Hunger Games: Catching Fire press tour, with Katniss and Gale hitting the red carpet looking more fabulous than ever. (Don’t worry, we’ll get to him later.) Jennifer’s slightly tousled bedhead is just flawlessly chic and cool, her makeup and earrings are perfectly lovely, and the dress is terrific. It’s got an Andy Warhol painting reprinted on that funny little side-peplum, which I adore, and the pink shoes are just unexpected and fun. Now, Jen, it’s time to hop a flight to DC and share your wardrobe with your new best friend, the Democracy Diva. Okay?

FAN BINGBING
gown by Ulyana Sergeenko, jewelry by Chopard

Photo: jaynestars.com

As we all know, it’s not the Cannes Film Festival until Fan Bingbing gets her couture on. And though I couldn’t find a good photo of the front of her fabulous ice blue gown, she’s clearly working the shit out of that mega-sexy neckline and those off-the-shoulder sleeve-strap hybrids. But the back is really where the magic happens:

Photo: redcarpetfashionawards.com

She looks about a billion feet tall. I could not be more jealous. The necklace is even more beautiful from this angle than it is from the front,  and the cut-out in the back is just lovely. The way the fabric drapes over her butt makes her ass look absolutely out of this world. I’m becoming increasingly convinced that she’s simply too flawless to be human.

FAN BINGBING
gown by Elie Saab, jewelry by Chopard, purse by Louis Vuitton

Photo: Dominique Charriau/WireImage

This is actually a little much for me – it’s obviously an exquisite gown, it just has so very much going on that it’s hard to even see its beauty, let alone appreciate it. I think the neckline is downright sloppy and the sleeves have way more fabric than they need. By nature of it being Fan Bingbing in Elie Saab, it’s still pretty damn fabulous, but we all know she can do a hell of a lot better.

DITA VON TEESE
gown by Alexis Mabille

Photo: justjared.com

It’s the rare woman who can pull off this trenchcoat/gown hybrid, but Dita von Teese is a rare woman indeed. I quibble over the idea of wearing black shoes with a navy gown, but it’s not actually noticeable enough to bother me.

DITA VON TEESE
gown by Dolce & Gabbana

Photo: pacificcoastnews.com

That bow is ridiculous enough, but the real question here is, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH YOUR HAIR, DITA? Did you fall asleep and squish your hair against the limousine window on the way here? Does it have a mind of its own? How did the woman who never has so much as a strand of hair out of place hit the Cannes Film Festival with this terrifying creature on her head?

DOUTZEN KROES
gown and shoes by Calvin Klein

Photo: Mike Marsland/WireImage

This is how you do minimalism right, dear readers. Add a metric shit-ton of killer jewelry and pose like your life depends on it. Of course, the posing comes naturally to this supermodel, but seriously, that weird spiky ring-thing on her hand is just phenomenal.

JESSICA CHASTAIN
gown by Versace, jewelry by Bulgari

  Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

The gown is very underwhelming, but she’s wearing Liz Taylor’s jewelry, so I have to respect the divaliciousness of that move. But honestly, this dress doesn’t even come close to fitting her, and even if it did, I think it’s almost painfully plain. And while that necklace is obviously a work of art, it doesn’t actually work so well with this ill-fitting gown.

JESSICA CHASTAIN
dress by Dolce & Gabbana

Photo: Getty

Cute dress, but everything else is too dull for words.

JESSICA CHASTAIN
blouse and skirt by Chanel, shoes by Roger Vivier

Photo: Dave J. Hogan/Getty

Those sleeves are a tiny bit silly, but I like this look a lot more than I originally thought I did. I thought it was sort of frumpy and matronly at first. But now I think the skirt is beautiful, the shoes are sexy, and the top at least has a beautiful collar and cute buttons, even if it also has some other flaws.

SOFIA COPPOLA
dress, purse, and shoes by Louis Vuitton

Photo: George Pimentel/WireImage

Simple but utterly chic. A way to say, “Bitches, this is MY movie, and don’t you forget it,” without actually looking like you’re a director trying to upstage actresses.

ROONEY MARA
top and skirt by Christian Dior, shoes by Brian Atwood

Photo: George Pimentel/WireImage

I’ve seen enough black and white on Rooney Mara and her blonde alter ego Carey Mulligan to last me a thousand lifetimes, but I can’t say I dislike this weird little outfit. The heavier eye makeup certainly helps, but I really do think the top is fascinating and the skirt is lovely. Though Rooney/Carey need to get the hell over this same pair of Brian Atwood shoes that both of them have been wearing to death.

LIAM HEMSWORTH
suit and shoes by Dolce & Gabbana, tie by David Yurman

Photo: Rex

Damn Liam and his ridiculous handsomeness. After reading the books, I was staunchly Team Peeta, but what the hell am I supposed to do when Gale looks like this?! This man is too delicious for words. And his suit is perfect.

LIAM HEMSWORTH
suit by Ermenegildo Zegna

Photo: Samir Hussein/Getty

Even more delicious in blue than in black, no?

JESSICA BIEL
dress and purse by Marchesa, necklace by Bulgari

Photo: George Pimentel/WireImage

This was my Fall 2012 red carpet prediction for Blake Lively. I still think it’s almost offensive how much of a McQueen knockoff this dress is, and I think the matching clutch is a little cheesy and the nude shoes don’t work at all. The Bulgari necklace is stunning, but it would have looked much better with a different dress, and certainly with a better hair style.

EVA LONGORIA
gown by Atelier Versace, jewelry by Chopard, shoes by Brian Atwood

Photo: Dave J. Hogan/Getty

I swear to you, I wouldn’t hate this if it didn’t have that completely wacky belt-like shape in the middle, which totally distorts her figure and the gown. Everything else kind of works in that over-the-top-but-it’s-Eva-Longoria-so-what-the-fuck-else-do-you-expect sort of way.

JAMES FRANCO
suit by Gucci

Photo: Getty

Ugh. He looks like a European porn star in the late 90s. For the love of God, go up a size in the suit jacket, James!

CAREY MULLIGAN
dress by Chloé, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: George Pimentel/WireImage

Now she’s intentionally trying to bore me. I swear to God.

JANE FONDA
gown and purse by Atelier Versace, jewelry by Chopard, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Andreas Rentz/Getty

I can’t condone anyone wearing this exotic-ice-dancer costume as a gown, particularly with that atrocious illusion netting over that side cut-out, but Jane Fonda is seventy-five years old and looks infinitely better than I do. So, I’ll just shut the fuck up now.

NICOLE KIDMAN
gown by L’Wren Scott

Photo: Alberto Pizzoli/AFP/Getty

You know me, dear readers – I live for prints on the red carpet, especially because few starlets are brave enough to wear printed gowns. But I just don’t like anything about this look, from that ill-advised hair to the patriotic mess that is this gown’s print. Also, the trend of starlets wearing the same bracelet on both wrists really needs to stop. It can work with casual outfits most of the time, but I really hate the matching cuffs trend with gowns and more formal looks.

KIRSTEN DUNST
gown by Michael Van Der Ham, jewelry by Chanel, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Venturelli/WireImage

Kirsten, honey, there was a 75-year-old woman at Cannes who looked at this dress and said, “That’s a little matronly, isn’t it?” And not just because she opts for teal and sequins and cut-outs, but because this gown immediately makes the wearer look as old as Moses. Put a little more effort into the hair, and for the love of God, hire a makeup artist with a lighter touch, and burn this 18th-century dress in a fire, and maybe we’ll talk.

—
© Democracy Diva, 2013.
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FAN BINGBING
gown and purse by Elie Saab, jewelry by Chopard

Photo: Rex

Is there anything in the world better than Fan Bingbing in Elie Saab? I really don’t think so, dear readers. I know she’s worn similar gowns before, and I totally don’t give a shit, because this canary color is just exquisite on her. The boxy metallic clutch and the dark nails are perfect, and the Chopard earrings are to die for.

FAN BINGBING
dress by Elie Saab

Photo: ChinaFotoPress/Getty

Kate Middleton, Duchess of Shiny Hair herself would look at this and say, “Now that’s some perfect fucking hair.” I love positively every detail of this dress, from the color to the exquisite beading to those absolutely divine platform shoes. I swear, I live for the Cannes Film Festival if only because I know Fan will show up in at least a handful of amazing looks.

EMMA WATSON
gown by Chanel, earrings by Repossi

Photo: Doug Peters/PA/Abaca

Sexy, glamorous, and utterly chic. She looks so incredible in these simple, almost athletic silhouettes that show off her natural beauty. And the earring cuff thing is awesome, as is the back:

Photo: PA

Killing it.

EMMA WATSON
top and skirt by Christopher Kane, shoes by Gianvito Rossi

Photo: Lionel Hahn/Abaca/Startraks

Adorable. The color is great on her, the outfit is interesting to look at, and it’s so clean and classic. It’d be a little too bare for a premiere, but at a photo call, this is the way to go.

FREIDA PINTO
gown by Sanchita, purse by Swarovski, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Phil Loftus/Capital Pictures/Sipa

I don’t love that little seam above the slit, and I don’t think that shade of lipstick is particularly nice on her, but I think she’s working the shit out of this otherwise-gorgeous gown.

BÉRÉNICE BEJO
jacket and gown by Alexis Mabille, earrings by Monique Pean, purse by Olympia Le-Tan

Photo: AKM-GSI

It’s a little strange, which is why I like it. I think a few less layers of ridiculousness in the skirt would have helped balance things out a little more, but the concept of this trench-like jacket over a gown intrigues me. I definitely love the color, and the purse, and her fabulous earrings, and the guy next to her with the shit-eating grin.

BÉRÉNICE BEJO
top, pants, and shoes by Louis Vuitton

Photo: Dominique Charriau/WireImage

I’m sorry, but I hate that top, and the hair just makes the farmer’s daughter vibe a thousand times worse.

NICOLE KIDMAN
dress by Alexander McQueen, watch by Omega, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Venturelli/WireImage

Gorgeous dress, cute shoes, awesome watch.

NICOLE KIDMAN
dress, purse, and shoes by Christian Dior

Photo: Rex

That hair is a little ridiculous, and I think the purse is one too many blue accessories. But the shoes are absolutely awesome.

NICOLE KIDMAN
dress by Calvin Klein, jewelry by Fred Leighton, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Todd Williamson/Invision/AP

I don’t particularly like the length of this dress, especially with ankle-strap shoes. It’s all a little severe.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE
top and pants by Christian Dior, shoes by Manolo Blahnik

Photo: Mike Marsland/WireImage

The peplum top is a little bit stupid, but she’s almost pulling it off. Love the hair, the pants, and the shoes, so that helps.

CARA DELEVIGNE
suit by Roberto Cavalli

Photo: KCS/Splash News

I am decidedly against the slow but forthcoming return of the bellbottom, particularly when it makes you look like you don’t have feet. But this suit is otherwise so awesome, I’m inclined not to care too much.

OCTAVIA SPENCER
dress by Tadashi Shoji, shoes by Robert Clergerie

Photo: WENN

This color looks like it was made just for her, and the shoes are fun as hell.

OCTAVIA SPENCER
gown by Tadashi Shoji

Photo: Florent Dupuy/Sipa

The makeup is a little too much, but this gown is gorgeous on her. I just wish the shoes weren’t a very slightly different shade of red.

LIV TYLER
dress by Tanya Taylor

Photo: Joel Ryan/Invision/AP

The length is a little off, and I think the neckline is kind of unflattering, but it’s a cute dress.

EVA LONGORIA
gown by Zuhair Murad, earrings by Damiani

Photo: Venturelli/WireImage

I actually think this gown is lovely, but Eva’s worn so many different versions of it before, I can’t even appreciate its beauty. It just exhausts me.

DOUTZEN KROES
gown and shoes by Atelier Versace

Photo: George Pimentel/WireImage

This gown was my Fall 2012 couture red carpet prediction for Lea Michele, for obvious reasons: It has a slit up to the fucking cervix and it has a sternum-cutout! But I really hate this color on Doutzen, which makes her look even more naked than she already is.

CAREY MULLIGAN
dress by Calvin Klein, shoes by Brian Atwood

Photo: Mike Marsland/WireImage

Snooze.

ROONEY MARA
dress by Calvin Klein

Photo: Todd Williamson/Invision/AP

I’m serious, you guys, Carey Mulligan and Rooney Mara are the clearly same person, dipped in different colors.

MARION COTILLARD
dress by Vivienne Westwood, jewelry by Chopard, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Samir Hussein/Getty

It looks like she just rolled off the beach, into a towel, and onto the red carpet. I know it’s Cannes, and the beaches are lovely, but could we at least get dressed before we exit our limos, please?

—
© Democracy Diva, 2013.
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FAN BINGBING at the Cannes premiere
gown and purse by Louis Vuitton, jewelry by Chopard

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

Fan Bingbing stole the show at the Gatsby premiere/Cannes opening ceremony in her stunning, custom-made, dusty mauve gown with that perfectly embellished bodice. It’s no secret that I am fully obsessed with the beautiful Chinese superstar and her phenomenal wardrobe, but to out-dress all the stars of the movie by a mile is quite an achievement. And just you wait until I get to the Cannes posts – Fan is everywhere and looking more and more fabulous every second.

NICOLE KIDMAN at the Cannes premiere
dress and shoes by Christian Dior

Photo: Mike Marsland/WireImage

This was my Spring 2013 couture red carpet prediction for Elle Fanning, but I’m thrilled to say it looks fabulous on Nicole, who’s three times Elle’s age. Since she’s a Cannes judge, you’ll see a lot more from Ms. Kidman in the coming days, but her Gatsby premiere look is my favorite so far. I think the embroidery over the floral is just so beautiful and interesting to look at. The length is adorable, and the shoes are just so much fun (and let’s be honest, we don’t exactly equate Nicole Kidman with “fun” so much as “ice queen”).

CARA DELEVIGNE at the Cannes premiere
gown by Burberry, jewelry by Chopard

Photo: WENN

Let’s ignore the terrible hair and focus on this damn sexy dress and Cara’s absolutely stunning jewelry. The earrings and necklace are divine on their own and together, they absolutely make the outfit. I love the old Hollywood makeup, with the nails matching her red lips perfectly.

CAREY MULLIGAN at a New York City screening
tuxedo by Lanvin, jewelry by Tiffany & Co., shoes by Brian Atwood

Photo: Dave Allocca/Startraks

Carey, darling, I love your tuxedo jacket more than words. But would a little bit of eyeliner kill you? This is your press tour, darling, and you only get to be Daisy Buchanan once. (Unless the terrible tradition of movie sequels continues and we are subjected to The Great Gatsby 2: Electric Boogaloo.)

CAREY MULLIGAN at the Cannes photo call
jumpsuit by Balenciaga, shoes by Saint Laurent

Photo: Danny Martindale/FilmMagic

Sleek and chic, though not particularly memorable. But it’s only a photo call, so that’s forgivable.

CAREY MULLIGAN and BAZ LUHRMANN at the Cannes premiere
gown by Christian Dior, jewelry by Tiffany & Co.

Photo: George Pimentel/WireImage

Silly Carey somehow managed to save her worst look for the Cannes premiere, allowing herself to be upstaged by starlets who weren’t even in the damn movie. The lipstick is great, but the rest of the styling is so nonexistent that it doesn’t look like it belongs here. And I just don’t think that dress is remotely interesting. I think the color is all wrong for her, and the skirt just sort of hangs there like it’s still on a roll of fabric. For the love of God, Carey, when Baz Luhrmann is out-dressing you, you need to rethink your choices.

KATY PERRY at a New York City screening
dress by Suno, earrings by Lia Sophia, shoes by Elie Saab

Photo: Dave Allocca/Startraks

I love this. Is that weird? Is this actually hideous and ridiculous and somehow grandmotherly? I feel like it is, and I still love it. The crop top is just perfect,  and the skirt is just beautiful to look at, though I’m not sure it’s the right length. I thought I hated the shoes at first, but it’s sort of awesome the way the lace-looking print in the shoes echoes the print in the bottom of the skirt, but in a neutral tone so it’s not too distracting. The purse and earrings are obviously adorable, and I think the wreath of flowers in her hair is kind of charming! But feel free to tell me I’ve lost my mind in the comments.

FREIDA PINTO at the Cannes premiere
gown by Gucci, jewelry by Chopard

Photo: INFphoto.com

That color looks like it was invented just for Freida – that’s how magnificent she looks in it. The gown is beautiful, but I feel like she’s worn just a few too many things like this before.

ISLA FISHER at the Cannes premiere
gown by Oscar de la Renta, jewelry by Bulgari

Photo: Venturelli/WireImage

Who says gingers can’t wear red? It’s not the most original or unique gown on the planet, but she looks awesome in it, and the styling really makes it look glamorous and fun. That necklace in particular is just phenomenal.

ISLA FISHER at the Cannes photo call
dress by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Roger Vivier

Photo: Doug Peters/PA/Abaca

Hollywood: no more little white dresses with black peep-toe pumps. There’s nothing innately wrong with either of those things, but I’m just so bored of this look on the red carpet, I can’t stand it.

MIRANDA KERR at a New York City screening
jumpsuit by Vivienne Westwood, purse by Prada, shoes by Alexander Wang

Photo: Andy Kropa/Invision/AP

She’s only pulling off that outfit because she’s Miranda Kerr, but that Prada tote is to die for. I think she has one in every fucking color.

LANA DEL REY at the Cannes premiere
gown by Lena Hoschek, jewelry by Chopard

Photo: Mike Marsland/WireImage

I actually don’t hate this gown, though it’s not particularly original. But I think the earrings are too dark and heavy, and she really needed a necklace. And is it just me, or is her eyeliner lopsided?

SOLANGE KNOWLES at a New York City screening
dress by Jill Stuart, shoes by Burberry Prorsum

Photo: Dave Allocca/Startraks

I hate the neckline and the shoes, but everything else about the look is funky and chic.

SOLANGE KNOWLES at the Cannes premiere
gown by Stéphane Rolland, jewelry by Chopard, purse by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Venturelli/WireImage

This was kind of a yawn, though that photographer screaming his head off over Solange’s shoulder seems to disagree with me. I just thought the combination of the fit and the color and those weird fringy things made this look like an old curtain.

GWEN STEFANI at a New York City screening
dress by Chanel, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo

Photo: Dave Allocca/Startraks

The hemline of this dress is stupid to begin with, but with those boots, it’s even worse. The hair, makeup, and jewelry are flawless and totally Gwen, though, and I think that makes the whole outfit look a lot better than it really is.

ROONEY MARA at a Cannes screening
jumpsuit by Giambattista Valli, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Bauer Griffin

This just in: Rooney Mara is just Carey Mulligan with black hair.

KYLIE MINOGUE at a New York City screening
top and pants by Dolce & Gabbana

Photo: Rob Kim/Getty

I’m sorry, Kylie, but that shirt is fucking stupid.

JULIANNE MOORE at the Cannes premiere
gown by Christian Dior, jewelry by Chopard

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

I could not hate the shape of this gown more if I tried, from the fit of the bodice to that stupid swirly train. And what the hell is happening with her feet? Why aren’t her pinkie toes actually in her shoes? How can she even walk around like that? I should not have to ask this many questions about your look, Julianne. You are better than this.

EMMA ROBERTS at a New York City screening
dress by Jonathan Saunders, purse by Christian Louboutin, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

One of those dresses that you forget about the second after you see it.

FLORENCE WELCH at the Cannes premiere
gown, purse, and shoes by Miu Miu

Photo: Venturelli/WireImage

Well, this certainly isn’t forgettable, but it might be the most hideous thing I’ve seen in quite some time. We all know I love Florence and the ridiculousness she brings to the red carpet, but once you’ve veered into clown territory, you’ve gone too far.

Need more Gatsby? Catch up on Part 1 of the fabulous press tour!

—
© Democracy Diva, 2013.
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DIANE KRUGER in New York City
gown by Alessandra Rich, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: fashionistabarbieuk.com

All you mere mortals can bow down to Diane Kruger, March Fabness 2013 champion and all-around fucking fabulous lady. The gown is fabulous, fringe and all, and it makes her look about a thousand feet tall. The shoes are a delight, the belt is great, and best of all, she makes it look so damn easy.

DIANE KRUGER in Los Angeles
blazer by Diane von Furstenberg, purse by Rochas, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: GVK/Bauer Griffin

I’m not sold on the hat, but the blazer, bag, and shoes are all flawless. I would wear that blazer every single day.

KERRY WASHINGTON in New York City
dress by Prabal Gurung

Photo: Girlie/FameFlynet

It’s unusual and interesting. I don’t love the hemline on the sheer part of the skirt, but the rest of the dress is absolutely adorable. The styling is clean, chic, and all-around lovely. I’ve slowly been falling in love with Kerry Washington over the last few months – she just has so much more fun with her wardrobe than almost anyone else on the red carpet.

KERRY WASHINGTON in Los Angeles
dress by Narciso Rodriguez, purse by Vince Camuto, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: FameFlynet

I wish the skirt weren’t so long, because a mullet gown is really never a thing anyone should do ever, but I like literally everything else about this look. The front of the dress has such an easygoing, fabulous quality to it, and that purse is downright awesome.

EMMA WATSON in New York City

Photo: Rex

You are flawless and I would kill you for that blazer and those shoes.

VICTORIA BECKHAM in New York City
top, skirt, sunglasses, and purse by Victoria Beckham, shoes by Casadei

Photo: Rex

I almost didn’t recognize Victoria in such a bright color, but she should go this route more often, because it works for her. It’s a simple but gorgeous dress, rendered in fantastic colors.

ZOE SALDANA in Mexico City
jumpsuit by Elie Saab

Photo: Victor Chavez/WireImage

This would be kind of disco-fabulous in a good way if I could see her shoes. But pants that make you look like you don’t have feet are really not my thing. I don’t mind exposed bras in general, but I’m not sure this one works particularly well.

DAKOTA FANNING in Singapore
dress, purse, and shoes by Chanel

Photo: Edgar Su/Reuters/Landov

The dress would only be okay on its own, but she styled it that chic little purse and those phenomenal shoes, making the look so much better. But if you’re going to go all-out with your outfit and accessories, your hair and makeup have to at least have something going on, or you look strangely unbalanced.

SARAH JESSICA PARKER in New York City
vintage gown by Alexandra New York, cuffs by Fendi, shoes by Roger Vivier

Photo: Charles Sykes/Invision/AP

The gown is pretty beautiful, but I don’t love the seam down the center. I don’t particularly like the shoes or the combination of jewelry – the Wonder Woman cuffs don’t really go with her earrings or rings.

KATY PERRY in New York City
dress by Givenchy, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: tomandlorenzo.com

Unless she is planning on taking flight, I can see absolutely no need for whatever the hell is going on with those sleeves. That being said, I think this is otherwise kind of a cool look.

ANNE HATHAWAY in New York City
dress by Givenchy, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by Pour La Victoire

Photo: Drew Altizer/WENN

I am still firmly against this hair color on her, and combined with the dress and shoes, she looks way too much like an alien here for my tastes. But if the dress were longer and the sleeves weren’t quite so silly, I’d like this dress on her – I think the color works with her skin beautifully.

CHLOË SEVIGNY in New York City
dress by Christopher Kane

Photo: Henry Lamb/Photowire/BEImages

It’s kind of weirdly nautical, but sort of in a good way. And it’s positively shocking from Ms. Sevigny, so I can’t hate it too much.

JENNIFER LOPEZ in New York City
dress by L’Wren Scott, shoes by Casadei

Photo: Janet Mayer/Splash News

As usual, the dress is a size too small, but I actually like this look. The shoes are definitely fabulous.

KATE BOSWORTH in Los Angeles
dress by Miu Miu, purse and shoes by Prada

Photo: Visual Press

You have to give it to Kate – this girl can pose like her life depends on it. Just LOOK at her – she positively exudes attitude. Unfortunately, this strange little dress can’t quite keep up with her, though the shoes would be killer with the right outfit.

KATE BOSWORTH in New York City
dress by Dion Lee, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: instyle.co.uk

Listen, I’m all for a little sideboob when the occasion calls for it, but come ON, lady. That shit is ridiculous.

ALEXA CHUNG in New York City
dress by Christian Dior, purse by Lulu Guinness

Photo: Joe Schildhorn/BFAnyc/Sipa

Don’t regress to awkward hipster land, Alexa! I thought we’d finally gotten past all that!

MIRANDA KERR in New York City
top by Saint Laurent, skirt by Dolce & Gabbana

Photo: Justin Campbell/Startraks

It’s way too many different shades of black, and none of the pieces are particularly memorable except for the purse.

JESSICA ALBA in New York City
jacket by Burberry, dress by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Sigerson Morrison

Photo: Splash News

Separately, all these pieces are really fun and most of them are really beautiful (I’m not sold on the shoes). Together, she looks like a freaking circus clown. It’s just way, WAY too many bright, contrasting colors – every single piece is competing with another for attention.

NINA DOBREV in New York City
dress by Thakoon, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Amanda Schwab/Startraks

Fire whoever convinced you that this dress doesn’t make your boobs look totally weird. I am sure you have perfectly lovely breasts, Nina; there is no reason they should have to look like these sad little potatoes.

JADA PINKETT SMITH in Los Angeles
suit by Alexander McQueen

Photo: Splash News

She better be going method for some role as a 1970s disco superstar. Because there is absolutely no other reason on earth that anyone should be wearing a peach satin bell-bottomed tuxedo in public.

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© Democracy Diva, 2013.
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Best Dressed: CHRISTINA RICCI
gown by Vivienne Westwood, jewelry by Harry Winston, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo, shoes by Casadei

Photo: Larry Busacca/Getty

SO FUCKING FABULOUS. This is exactly what I would have worn to the Met Gala, had my invitation not inexplicably gotten lost in the mail YET AGAIN. It’s Vivienne Westwood, whose work made up a significant part of the Costume Institute’s Punk: Chaos to Couture exhibit that this night is all about. And it’s a goddamn work of art. I loved the stockings and the stunningly sexy shoes. The jewelry could have been a little more punk and a little less glam, but the dress is so on-point, I can’t bring myself to care.

Runner-Up: SIENNA MILLER
jacket and gown by Burberry, jewelry by Genevieve Jones

Photo: David Fisher/Rex

That jacket is flawless. FLAWLESS, dear readers. Like all the best dressed starlets at the event, she committed to this look. The earrings are awesome, and the spiked headband is fucking out of this world. Also, hey, Matt Morrison in the background! We see you!

Honorable Mention: CAREY MULLIGAN
dress by Balenciaga, jewelry by Tiffany & Co.

Photo: Rabbani and Solimene/WireImage

This dress is magnificent on her. I wanted to dislike it for being so low-key, but there’s something so dramatic and divalicious about keeping your entire look perfectly simple and chic in all black, but throwing on one giant, fabulous safety pin on as your nod to the theme.

MIRANDA KERR
gown by Michael Kors, jewelry by Cartier, purse by Christian Louboutin, shoes by Tabitha Simmons

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

Love the gown, even if you have to look like Miranda Kerr to pull it off. The spiked purse is fun, and the lipstick is delicious. Though Miranda’s street style is virtually flawless, she usually isn’t this strong on the red carpet, so props to her.

KAREN ELSON
gown by Julien Macdonald

Photo: Rex

Had more people been bold enough to wear shit like this, the Met Gala would have been the most fucking unstoppable red carpet in the history of the universe.

BROOKLYN DECKER
dress by Peter Pilotto, purse by Valentino, shoes by Sergio Rossi

Photo: Gilbert Flores/Broadimage

I’ve seen this dress before, and though it’s interesting to look at and that beaded print is exquisite, that very flirty skirt feels all wrong for the event, as do the shoes and the hair.

FLORENCE WELCH
gown by Givenchy by Riccardo Tisci

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

You can always count on Florence to show up with wings made of six-foot long tassels. God bless her.

NICOLE RICHIE
gown by Topshop, purse by House of Harlow, shoes by Vero Cuoio

Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

You can dye your hair a stupid color all you want, but if everything below the neck looks fucking Victorian, you’re not punk, you just don’t make much sense at all. Snaps for the earrings, but this hair was one of the only “daring” things that I thought just completed faltered on the red carpet. Had her outfit had anything to do with the hair, she might have pulled it off.

JANUARY JONES
dress by Chanel, shoes by Nicholas Kirkwood

Photo: Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

The dress and shoes are very cool, but relatively simple. This look also cries out desperately for more jewelry. But let’s get a close-up at that makeup:

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

Phenomenal. By far the best part of the look.

MICHELLE WILLIAMS
gown and shoes by Saint Laurent, jewelry by Fred Leighton, purse by Olympia Le-Tan

Photo: David Fisher/Rex

Michelle would wear everything except the spiked headband to any other red carpet event. That naturally makes it way, WAY too lame for the Met Gala and its theme. The dress and shoes are already depressingly ordinary, but the lack of jewelry is downright shameful.

AMANDA SEYFRIED
gown by Givenchy by Riccardo Tisci, jewelry by Fred Leighton

Photo: Gilbert Flores/Broadimage

It’s not punk, but it’s also not like anything I’ve ever seen Amanda in before, and the print is actually really astonishing and hard to look aware from. I wish she’d had more fun with the theme, but at least she looks interesting and beautiful.

EMILY BLUNT
gown by Carolina Herrera, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by Rupert Sanderson

Photo: Gilbert Flores/BroadImage

Again, everything from the neck down, she could rock at any other red carpet event. Why waste the magic that is the Met Gala on something so basic? And though the pink eye shadow makes her look a little sickly in this photo, it was actually gorgeous in close-up:

Photo: nymag.com

It’s fabulous, that shock of pink, but it only works up close. The sloppy faux-hawk is kind of fun, and the earrings are to die for. Had she committed to the look anywhere else, she could have really knocked this one out of the park.

SOLANGE KNOWLES
gown by Kenzo, purse by Edie Parker

Photo: Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

I think the dress itself is awkward and hideously unflattering and strangely boxy. Solange and her fabulous hair make anything look cool, but between that cartoon-looking dress and the decidedly not-punk accessories, she too looks like she’s better suited for a totally different event.

JAIME KING
suit by Topshop, purse by Alexander McQueen, shoes by Gianvito Rossi

Photo: Stephen Lovekin/FilmMagic

So, you just didn’t get the punk memo at all?

LENA DUNHAM
gown by Erdem

Photo: Anthony Behar/Sipa

Come on, Lena. The hair and makeup are fabulous, but it’s the one time when you should be having as much fun as possible on the red carpet, and you’re in this serious, romantic gown? It just doesn’t make sense to me.

JULIANNE MOORE
gown, purse, and shoes by Balenciaga by Alexander Wang, jewelry by Irene Neuwirth

Photo: Bill Davila/Startraks

I actually hate every single thing about this look, from the terrifying, gravity-defying hair to the extremely tacky bright green jewelry to the boxy, awkward gown to those weird little elf shoes.

JESSICA ALBA
gown by Tory Burch, jewelry by Jack Vartanian, purse and shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: AFP/Getty

I guess it’s no surprise that Tory Burch + Jessica Alba does not equal punk.

BLAKE LIVELY
gown by Gucci, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz

Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

I think this gown is kind of ugly and not at all right for the theme, and I’m afraid she’s going to fall the fuck over because of the weight of those earrings.

MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL
gown by Calvin Klein, purse by Tod’s

Photo: PA

BOOOOOOOOOO. If there was ever NOT a time for a simple red gown, it’s now. The fit in the bust is too atrocious for words, and the clown makeup is only making things worse.

KATE MARA
dress by Delpozo by Josep Font

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

Absurdly unflattering and instantly forgettable.

ASHLEY GREENE
gown by Marchesa, jewelry by Harry Winston

Photo: Marion Curtis/Startraks

You look like you’re wearing a sofa.

Worst Dressed: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
gown by Tommy Hilfiger, jewelry by Forevermark, purse by Edie Parker, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Charles Sykes/Invision/AP

SEERSUCKER? AT THE MET GALA? AT THE PUNK-THEMED MET GALA?! I’m going to have a fucking stroke.

That concludes your Met Gala coverage! Catch up on Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.
—
© Democracy Diva, 2013.
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Best Dressed: SARAH JESSICA PARKER
headdress by Philip Treacy, gown by Giles Deacon, jewelry by Fred Leighton, boots by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Rex

You have to give it to SJP – she committed to the punk theme like few others did. This ridiculously exquisite gown was my Fall 2013 red carpet prediction for Kerry Washington, and I just love that abstract print on SJP. The thigh-high tartan boots were by far my favorite part of the look – everything else was cool and interesting, but the boots made the look complete for me. And her crown/mohawk hybrid led to the best photobomb in the history of the Met Gala, or possibly the world:

Yes, that is Jennifer Lawrence. And yes, she is amazing.

Runner-Up: CARA DELEVIGNE
gown, purse, and shoes by Burberry, jewelry by Dominic Jones

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

I FUCKING LOVE this gown. The sloppy hair combined with the heavy eyeliner is perfect for the event, and all her jewelry is awesome. Head-to-toe commitment to the theme. Plus, she was photographed with a bag of white powder falling out of her purse the day before the Met Gala, which is fairly punk rock.

Honorable Mention: KATE BOSWORTH
dress by Balmain, shoes by Salvatore Ferragamo

Photo: TNL/AFF

This dress is a total dream on her. The color is phenomenal and the embellishments are so cool, I just don’t want to stop looking at her. She could have gone way further with the styling, but the dress itself is cooler than 95% of everything else on the red carpet.

ROONEY MARA
gown, purse, and shoes by Givenchy by Riccardo Tisci

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

Penelope Cruz wore this gown two years ago, and I really wanted Rooney to wear something I’d never seen or even thought of on the red carpet before. But I can’t say she doesn’t look 100% flawless. She has done these dramatic Givenchy gowns before, but never with the same punch as this. I’m struggling to see anything punk about it other than the attitude Rooney brings to everything, but it’s dramatic and the attention to detail is impeccable.

DIANE KRUGER and JOSHUA JACKSON
Diane’s gown by Chanel, jewelry by Jacob & Co.; Joshua’s suit by Christian Dior

Photo: Lucas Jackson/Reuters/Landov

I think the dress is kind of – not frumpy, but a little too stuffy for this event. The purse and the cuff were some of the best accessories of the night, and Joshua looks kind of like a sailor, but sort of in an event-appropriate way? Does that make any sense at all? Probably not, but the red socks are cool. Plus, Diane was one of several starlets to sport ridiculous ear adornments:

Photo: Rex

I don’t even know what you call that thing, but I like it. And I like the idea of the pink in her hair, but it’s a bit half-assed.

JESSICA BIEL
dress, pants, purse, and shoes by Giambattista Valli, jewelry by Fred Leighton

Photo: Stephen Lovekin/FilmMagic

Ms. Biel, like a few other ladies, rocked a gown/pants combo that I actually found really interesting and cool. And those are two words I pretty much never associate with Jessica’s wardrobe. I wish she had actually gone for cooler accessories instead of Hollywood-glam diamonds, and she’s in desperate need of a necklace, but I thought it was a surprisingly strong look from her.

EMMA WATSON
gown by Prabal Gurung, jewelry by Fred Leighton

Photo: Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

It’s not particularly punk, but it’s Hermione in a sexy cut-out gown, and that’s a rebellion in itself. She looks amazing, the crooked T-strap shoes are just perfect, and the one earring is fun. She really needed to carry a funky clutch or throw on some amazing bracelets, though.

MICHELLE DOCKERY
dress by Burberry, purse by Edie Parker, shoes by Gianvito Rossi

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

Wouldn’t it have been too hilarious to see Lady Mary with a nose ring and a pink mohawk or something? Ah, well, a girl can dream. Ms. Dockery actually looks totally fabulous. The combination of the shiny sort of snake-print dress, the shiny black nails, and the metallics in the necklace and purse is just really gorgeous. But like most of the ladies on the red carpet, she could have punked this up easily with a better pair of shoes.

NINA DOBREV
dress and pants by Monique Lhuillier, jewelry by Kimberly McDonald, purse by Edie Parker, shoes by Rupert Sanderson

Photo: Larry Busacca/Getty

Am I insane for not hating this? At least in this context? I’d throw up myself if I saw her wear this anywhere else, but with the sexy shoes and the heavy eyeliner, she’s kind of pulling off this weird harness/crinoline/lace jumpsuit thing.

LEELEE SOBIESKI
gown, purse, and shoes by Christian Dior

Photo: Rex

Seriously, Leelee? You could have gone so much further than this! Ugh, these starlets don’t know an opportunity when they see one, dear readers. This was the night to go completely insane and be rewarded for it! And they all shied away.

BELLA HEATHCOTE
gown, jewelry, and purse by Chanel, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

The eyeliner is fucking awesome, but the length of this dress is maybe the most awkward thing I’ve ever seen. I like the weird shoulders, but everything else about it just looks wrong, and not in a good way. And the purse, shoes, and jewelry are all wrong for the event.

ELLE FANNING
gown, ear cuff, and shoes by Rodarte, jewelry by Van Cleef & Arpels

Photo: Larry Busacca/Getty

Lord only knows what Elle Fanning thinks “punk” means, but at least she committed to something, even if it’s not punk. The gown is a little craftsy for me, but the stupid eyeshadow is a blast.

MARION COTILLARD
dress, purse, and shoes by Christian Dior, jewelry by Chopard

Photo: Gilbert Flores/Broadimage

WEAK. This isn’t even half-assed, it’s quarter-assed.

KERRY WASHINGTON
gown by Vera Wang, jewelry by Fred Leighton, purse by Roger Vivier, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

It’s overdesigned, the prints aren’t particularly nice, and together, they’re kind of a mess. The shininess of the fabric also cheapens the look significantly.

ANNE HATHAWAY
gown and purse by Valentino

Photo: Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

I really hate this. She gets a few points for being daring, but when you’re as overexposed in the media as Anne, you don’t need to literally overexpose yourself quite this much. And honestly, I think the hair is basically awful. She looks like Miley Cyrus’s mother.

GINNIFER GOODWIN
gown and purse by Tory Burch

Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

You can’t jam-pack all of the punkness of your outfit in between your eyeball and your eyebrow, Ginnifer. It really, really doesn’t work like that. When you pair that ill-advised eyeshadow with that truly terrifying hair and add a sparkly ball gown, you just look like your head is attached to the wrong body.

JENNIFER LOPEZ
gown by Michael Kors, earrings by Dana Rebecca

Photo: Charles Sykes/Invision/AP

How many more times are we going to see her in the same damn dress? Props for the hair, but oy, am I tired of this look on her.

KATE UPTON
gown by Diane von Furstenberg

Photo: Stephen Lovekin/FilmMagic

This might be the least punk rock thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

MINKA KELLY
gown by Carolina Herrera, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, purse by Fendi, shoes by Manolo Blahnik

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

There’s just not a single thing about this I like.

ALLISON WILLIAMS
gown by Altuzarra

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

Allison, you need to cut whoever did this to you out of your life, and cut them out forever. Something this atrocious must be a criminal offense. It’s just a nightmare.

Worst Dressed: GWYNETH PALTROW
gown by Valentino

Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

She’s just the worst.

Need more Met Gala madness? Catch up on Part 1, Part 2, and Part 4!

—
© Democracy Diva, 2013.
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Best Dressed: MILEY CYRUS
gown by Marc Jacobs, jewelry by Eddie Borgo, shoes by Prada

Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

My jaw dropped when Miley Cyrus stepped up to the camera for her interview during the red carpet livestream. This was my Fall 2013 red carpet prediction for Florence Welch, but Miley worked the SHIT out of it, and this was so the venue for it. Her rings are equally fantastic, and I’m so glad she went all the way with that ridiculous hair. Keeping the makeup relatively simple was kind of great – she still looked like Miley, but with the volume turned all the way up.

Runner-Up: BEYONCE KNOWLES
gown, gloves, and boots by Givenchy by Riccardo Tisci

Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

She should have lost the belt and opted for a studded necklace, but the print on this gown is to die for, and the matching boots are insane. Plus, in true diva fashion, Beyonce once again arrived late enough to the red carpet so that she could have practically the whole Met staircase to herself for the best possible pictures. Case in point:

Photo: Rex

I can’t even HANDLE that train, dear readers. It is a freaking work of art.

Honorable Mention: GWEN STEFANI
gown by Maison Martin Margiela, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo, jewelry by Fred Leighton

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

I loved this. It was 1990s Gwen Stefani with a couture sleekness. The crooked bandeau top is inexplicably awesome, the jewelry is lovely, and the hair and makeup worked perfectly.

GISELE BÜNDCHEN
dress by Anthony Vaccarello

Photo: Gilbert Flores/Broadimage

You literally have to be Gisele in order to pull this dress off – I know her legs are long, but we’ve got to be dangerously close to seeing her vagina, right? Regardless, this dress was perfectly on point, and the spiked shoes are a fucking hazard, which I love.

KATY PERRY
crown and dress by Dolce & Gabbana

Photo: PA/Landov

She didn’t necessarily commit to the theme, but in usual Katy fashion, she definitely committed to a head-to-toe look. That beaded dress is truly astonishing to look at, and I love the matching print on the heels of the shoes. The bedazzled cross earring looks heavy enough to make her fall over, but she’s working it. And you have to admire the woman who shows up to the biggest fashion event of the year in a motherfucking crown.

DAKOTA FANNING
gown by Rodarte, jewelry by Van Cleef & Arpels, purse by Roger Vivier, shoes by H&M

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

I wish she’d done something with her hair, but her eyeliner looked terrific and I liked this dramatic cut-out gown on her, particularly with that jewelry. But I was really sold when I saw it from the back:

Photo: Rex

Black and white angel wings on the red carpet? I love it. It might be more Hell’s Angels than punk, but it’s a fabulously dramatic and badass look, which is really what this event is all about.

ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY
gown by Gucci, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz

Photo: David Fisher/Rex

She could have used a bracelet, but this feathered-and-fishnetted gown is pretty magnificent on Rosie. Had she gone all the way with the styling, I think this could have been one of my favorite looks.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE
gown and jewelry by Christian Dior, veil by Jennifer Behr, shoes by Brian Atwood

Photo: Larry Busacca/Getty

I will first say that Jennifer Lawrence looks 100% flawless in every possible way EXCEPT the theme. This would have been the perfect look for one of the big Hunger Games premieres or really any major red carpet event. But it’s so romantic and classic and elegant, and that’s exactly the opposite of what she should have been aiming for at this event. Plus, she would have looked unbelievably cool in some crazy Vivienne Westwood concoction, or if she wanted to stay loyal to her brand, some late 90s/early 00s punk-influenced Dior look. So I just kind of feel like we got gypped out of a really badass Jennifer Lawrence moment. I know we got a really beautiful moment in return, but I’d have saved this dress for a film premiere and added white gloves to make her look like a Mockingjay.

LESLIE MANN
gown by J. Mendel, jewelry by Fred Leighton, purse by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Larry Busacca/Getty

The splatterpainted print on this dress is all kinds of stunning. The proportions of the tiered skirts might not be quite right, but the print helps camouflage that. I think the necklace is kind of cheap-looking (even though it’s DEFINITELY not cheap), and the rest of the styling is only okay.

MARY-KATE OLSEN
coat by Balmain, gown by Chanel, jewelry by Sidney Garber, shoes by Louis Vuitton

Photo: Larry Busacca/Getty

So, apparently a lot of people define punk as wearing one earring and a cross accessory. I actually think it works on a lot of these people, but with those terrifying braids, Mary-Kate looks like a terrified hippie who accidentally fell into an old, rich lady’s closet. But once she takes that awful coat off, things improve considerably:

Photo: PA

If this gown were like, eight sizes smaller and actually fit her, I think it would be supremely chic and totally event-appropriate. But alas, the Olsens prefer their clothing flowy to the point of absurdity. Oh, and the shoes are a little underwhelming. One less necklace and a more interesting shoe would have balanced this look out a little more.

OLIVIA WILDE
gown by Calvin Klein, jewelry by Fred Leighton

Photo: Gilbert Flores/Broadimage

I can’t deny that she looks beautiful, but I’ll repeat my #1 rule of Met Gala theme dressing: don’t wear something that looks like you could wear it to any ordinary red carpet event. Olivia has broken this rule. She could have at least pumped things up with the styling, but that’s pretty ordinary too.

EMMY ROSSUM
gown by Donna Karan, jewelry by Irit, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

The curly mohawk was a lot of look, and probably more than Emmy Rossum could handle. But I think it might have worked if it weren’t for this gown, which looks a bit like a moth-eaten wedding dress, and not in an interesting way. I loved the eyeliner and the rings, and though you can’t see it here, her nails had ripped white fishnets and little studs and rhinestones embellished on them. It was a great little detail.

KYLIE MINOGUE
gown by Moschino

Photo: Reuters/Lucas Jackson

Kylie’s accessories all work nicely together, but I don’t think they work well with this gown. If anything, they call more attention to the fact that the gown is decidedly not-punk.

JESSICA PARÉ
dress, pants, purse, and shoes by Jason Wu, jewelry by Delfina Delettrez

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

Props for all the ladies who wore pants/dress hybrids – and there were a few – but I just didn’t find this one aesthetically pleasing. The bodice looked overworked, the peplum looked like an afterthought, and the styling doesn’t work particularly well at all.

CHLOË SEVIGNY
gown by Proenza Schouler, jewelry by Repossi

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

Shame on you, Ms. Sevigny. You of all people should have been on this red carpet pantless with only a British flag on one breast and fishnets everywhere else and a purple mohawk. You’re one of the only people crazy enough for those kinds of shenanigans, so even your torn-apart see-through gown is underwhelming in comparison.

ALICIA KEYS
gown by Jason Wu, jewelry by Robert Lee Morris, purse by Tonya Hawkes, shoes by Casadei

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

I love the red streaks in her hair, but I don’t think this look is daring enough. And I think the proportions of this gown are kind of awkward and not particularly flattering.

UMA THURMAN
gown by Zac Posen

Photo: Rex

If you’re going to wear a gown that’s completely ugly, it better be something punk, and this is NOT. There are mermaid gowns, and then there are gowns that literally turn you into a sea creature. This is the latter.

JULIANNE HOUGH
dress by Topshop, jewelry by Jacob & Co., purse by Calvin Klein, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

This looks like a cheap Halloween costume.

AUBREY PLAZA
dress by Marios Schwab, shoes by Barbara Bui

Photo: Rex

The dress could have worked if the accessories were either more formal, more punk, or both. But as is, Aubrey looks like she’s at an entirely different event than everyone else. And her event doesn’t look nearly as fun.

ANNA WINTOUR
gown by Chanel

Photo: Francis Specker/Landov

Let us all come together to express our huge disappointment in Anna Wintour for completely wimping out on the theme. I didn’t expect her hair to look like Miley’s, but I expected her to do something. And instead, she wore the same exact thing she always wears, but in a cheerful floral print. And that’s just the lamest thing I can imagine, dear readers. I also fear that, since Kim and Kanye dined at Anna’s house the night before the event, Anna’s florals had something to do with this:

Worst Dressed: KIM KARDASHIAN and KANYE WEST
Kim’s gown and gloves and Kanye’s suit by Givenchy by Riccardo Tisci, Kim’s jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz

Photo: Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

There are so many fucking flowers, they have literally taken over Kim’s entire body and swallowed her hands. I don’t even understand where the idea for this came from or how anyone along the way approved any part of this. Oh, and Kanye looks like a priest.

Need more Met Gala? Catch up on Part 1, Part 3 and Part 4!

—
© Democracy Diva, 2013.
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Best Dressed: MADONNA
jacket by Givenchy by Riccardo Tisci, shoes by Casadei

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

All hail Madonna. Whatever you may think of Madge, the woman commits to a look like nobody else. The gray tartan jacket, replete with gold spikes, is to die for; a magnificent piece worthy of the Costume Institute exhibit. All the studded, chained, and fishnetted accessories work brilliantly, and I love the bob wig if only because it’s so unexpected. My favorite accessory?

Photo: tomandlorenzo.com

Ah, the ass-chain crucifix. A wardrobe staple for us all.

Runner-Up: ELIZABETH BANKS
dress by Atelier Versace, jewelry by Kara Ross, purse and shoes by Brian Atwood

Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

Elizabeth Banks gave us a solid gold/punk hybrid, working this absolutely killer studded and pinstriped Versace jacket as a dress. The purse and shoes are absolutely perfect, the eyeliner looks stunning, and the earrings are fun as hell.

Honorable Mention: CAMERON DIAZ
gown, purse, and shoes by Stella McCartney, jewelry by Stephen Russell

Photo: Stephen Lovekin/FilmMagic

I love this gown on Cameron in general – this royal blue suits her, and the cape is weird in a really good way. And though the picture doesn’t do it justice, that spiked belt looked absolutely killer even via livestream. What a great way to keep the paparazzi at bay!

EDDIE REDMAYNE
tuxedo by Christian Dior

Photo: Rex

Eddie Redmayne is smart enough to know that he is Marius and therefore any attempt at punk would be laughably ridiculous. He does give us a bit of navy-on-black fabness that I’m completely eating up, though. And I’m pretty sure his pocket square had a skull on it, which is pretty adorable.

ALEXA CHUNG
dress by Erdem

Photo: Sartorial/Splash News

Alexa, KEEP THIS HAIRCUT FOREVER PLEASE. She has never looked even close to as beautiful as she does with this bob. She went more dark and romantic than punk, but actually being able to pull off granny panties on the red carpet is pretty punk rock to me.

RITA ORA
gown and necklace by Thakoon, shoes by Nicholas Kirkwood

Photo: Rex

I probably wouldn’t like this dress at a normal event, but for the punk theme, I think it’s perfectly awesome. A black embellished clutch would have been a better choice, though.

LILY COLLINS
jacket and gown by Moschino

Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

This is almost a hot disaster, but I have the utmost respect for those few people who committed to the theme. The blue streaks in Lily’s hair are fantastic, the eye makeup is awesome, and the jacket is literally perfect. I like the lace at the top of the dress, especially against the jacket, but the rest of the bodice is kind of hideous, where it points into the skirt. Still, major points for enthusiasm!

KIRSTEN DUNST
gown by Louis Vuitton

Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

I expected a little more in the way of punk from Kirsten, but the gown is interesting and beautiful and the lipstick is gorgeous.

HAILEE STEINFELD
dress by Donna Karan, jewelry by Eddie Borgo, purse and shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

She’s more princess than punk, but of all the people who rocked seriously heavy eyeliner for the occasion, Hailee’s makeup was one of my favorites. The outfit looks more glittery than gritty, but I can’t say she doesn’t look totally fucking awesome in it.

SOFIA COPPOLA and MARC JACOBS
Sofia’s top and pants by Marc Jacobs, Marc’s suit by Comme des Garçons

Photo: Rex

As far as I’m concerned, there is nothing more punk than wearing pajamas to the Met Gala. I would have screamed my head off at her if this were any other Met Gala, but when else can you wear Marc Jacobs pajamas?

TAYLOR SWIFT
gown and purse by J. Mendel, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, shoes by Givenchy

Photo: David Fisher/Rex

I can’t even say “Taylor Swift” and “punk” in the same sentence without laughing, but Taylor has finally integrated some much-needed coolness into her wardrobe. I think slick-backed hair would have brought this to a whole other level, but it’s my favorite thing she’s worn in a very long time.

CLAIRE DANES
gown, purse, and shoes by Oscar de la Renta

Photo: Gilbert Flores/Broadimage

An important rule of the Met Gala, particularly this Met Gala: if what you’re wearing looks like something you’ve already worn to the Oscars, DON’T WEAR IT. This is the time to try something new and daring and ridiculous, so I was pretty disappointed in Claire Danes’s dress, mesh and chainmail-looking embellishments and all. It looked like everything she’s ever worn with slightly heavier eyeliner, and that’s just too boring for this event.

AMBER HEARD
gown and purse by Emilio Pucci, jewelry by Pomellato

Photo: Larry Busacca/Getty

Sadly, this is actually an awesome gown on her. But girlfriend didn’t even try to make a subtle reference to the theme. You should have saved this for the Vanity Fair Oscars party, Amber.

EMMA ROBERTS
gown and purse by Diane von Furstenberg, jewelry by Jennifer Fisher

Photo: Stephen Lovekin/FilmMagic

In all fairness to Emma, she came as Diane von Furstenberg’s date (all the big stars accompany the designers who dress them to the event). And Diane von Furstenberg isn’t going to be able to make anybody look punk. But I felt this was kind of lazy and underwhelming, which it really didn’t need to be. The fit of the gown isn’t particularly good and the jewelry is unimpressive.

ASHLEY OLSEN
gown by Christian Dior, shoes by Manolo Blahnik

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

News flash: mustard burlap sacks are not punk. They’re hideous, but they’re not punk.

KATE BECKINSALE
dress by Alberta Ferretti, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, purse by Edie Parker, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

This pink satin screams nothing but 1985 Prom Queen to me.

KATIE HOLMES
gown by Calvin Klein, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

Painfully boring, and the train is ripped to shreds in a way that is supposed to be interesting but really just looks like toilet paper.

KRISTEN STEWART
jumpsuit, purse and shoes by Stella McCartney

Photo: Charles Sykes/Invision/AP

This was one of the biggest disappointments of the night, because Kristen would have looked SO GOOD in a patched-and-studded leather jacket over, like, tartan skinny pants with crazy safety pin accessories and all that shit. Instead, she went for sickly eyeliner and a jumpsuit that makes her vagina look two feet tall.

JENNIFER MORRISON
gown by Donna Karan, jewelry by Jherwitt, purse by Edie Parker, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

You cannot take a basic ball gown, add a mohawk, and expect that to work as a look. First of all, there were a lot of faux hawks on the runway that looked fantastic or at least interesting; Jennifer’s looks like there was an explosion on top of her head, and not in a good way. And it’s just so incongruous with literally everything else she’s wearing, because she couldn’t bother to commit to the theme from the neck-down. This is why half-assing it never works, dear readers.

NICKI MINAJ
gown by Tommy Hilfiger

Photo: Stephen Lovekin/FilmMagic

Once again, Tommy Hilfiger isn’t going to be able to design anything particularly punk, but Nicki Minaj, how DARE you wear something this boring to this event! Out of all the times you actually look normal from the neck-down, you chose THIS NIGHT? It’s insanity. Oh, and “Lady Marmalade”-era Christina Aguilera called, and no, she doesn’t want her nasty decade-old French hooker wig back.

Worst Dressed: HEIDI KLUM
gown by Marchesa, jewelry by Harry Winston

Photo: David Fisher/Rex

Wearing a wedding dress to the punk-themed Met Gala is a sure sign that you’ve given up completely.

Your Met Gala coverage continues with Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4 - don’t miss out!

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ZOE SALDANA in London
gown by Vionnet, jewelry by Tiffany & Co., shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Jon Furniss/Invision/AP

Mere mortals don’t have a chance of pulling off this Star Trek-chic thing that Zoe’s got going on, but damn, does it work on her. Major points just for wearing a gown that feels unique, and bonus points for actually pulling it off.

ZOE SALDANA in Berlin
top and skirt by Balmain, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Future-Image/ZumaPress.com

There’s something off about the proportions – I think it’s just that the skirt is too damn short for that high neckline. But the colors are fantastic and the shoes are flawless.

NICOLE KIDMAN at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner
gown by Emilio Pucci, purse by Bottega Veneta, shoes by Manolo Blanik

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/WireImage

This gown is beautiful, and the color is fantastic on Nicole. Love the earrings, but the purse, while cute, brings this look too close to a bridesmaid place.

OLIVIA WILDE in New York City
dress by MaxMara, necklace by House of Lavande, purse by Anya Hindmarch, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

Photo: Michael Stewart/WireImage

Hate the hair, but the rest of the look is pretty great. That printed green dress with her gorgeous eyes is pretty unstoppable.

KATY PERRY in New York City
gown by Vera Wang, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, purse by Judith Leiber, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Johns PKI/Splash News

Love the dress, love the purse. Not crazy about the hair and makeup, but I really can’t stop looking at that purse.

KATY PERRY at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner
gown by Giambattista Valli

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

I LOVE this more natural-looking makeup on her. The fit of the dress isn’t great – it’s too long, and too tight in the bust – but it’s still a lovely gown. She could have used a little jewelry, though.

KATY PERRY in New York City
dress by Bottega Veneta, cuff by Etro, purse by Celine, shoes by Bionda Castana

Photo: Bruce Glikas/FilmMagic

I am all kinds of in love with this dress, and those shoes, though not necessarily together. I actually don’t mind the patterned shoes with the mixed-print dress, but the dress is a little bit too long for those ankle booties.

KATY PERRY in New York City
gown by Thom Browne, earrings by Chopard, bracelets by Lorraine Schwartz, shoes by Alice + Olivia

Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

She looks two feet tall and three feet wide.

MICHELLE DOCKERY at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner
gown by Elie Saab

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

Lady Mary is stunning in purple, isn’t she? I’m in love with this gown, but the styling isn’t quite right. The bracelets don’t really go with the earrings, the clutch certainly doesn’t match, and the lipstick really is not my favorite.

KERRY WASHINGTON at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner
gown by Wes Gordon, purse by Jill Milan, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Aaron J. Thornton/PR

You know I love Kerry Washington for her willingness to wear interesting gowns that other starlets are too damn scared to try, but I just think the bottom of this dress looks fucking ugly.

SARAH JESSICA PARKER in New York City
dress by L’Agence, shoes by Manolo Blahnik

Photo: Gregorio T. Binuya/Everett

A little underwhelming, but it’s the best she’s looked in forever, since she’s not covered in a giant flasher coat and too much jewelry and not enough ta-ta support. That necklace is all kinds of beautiful.

TADASHI SHOJI and OCTAVIA SPENCER in Beijing
gown by Tadashi Shoji

Photo: tomandlorenzo.com

Not the most unique dress in the world, but she looks absolutely flawless in it.

DIANE KRUGER in Hollywood
dress by Marni, sunglasses by Quay

Photo: instyle.co.uk

I don’t know which accessory I love more – that purse, or Pacey Witter.

JESSICA PARÉ in Washington, DC
dress by L’Wren Scott

Photo: Larry Busacca/Getty

It looks a little stuffy and it ages her a bit, but it’s not a bad look. It’s just incredibly severe.

NICOLE RICHIE in New York City
dress by Saint Laurent, shoes by Manolo Blahnik

Photo: Erik Pendzich/Rex

Speaking of incredibly severe, does Nicole Richie ever not look like there is a ski pole up her ass? I mean, unclench for a minute, girl. Are you afraid your wig will fall off if you don’t keep that frigid, constipated pose?

NICOLE RICHIE in Los Angeles
dress by Balmain

Photo: Todd Oren/WireImage

I love this dress. It’s not bad on Nicole, actually, I just think it would be infinitely better on about a million other starlets. Or in my closet.

EVA LONGORIA in New York City
dress and purse by Salvatore Ferragamo

Photo: Zack Turner/Startraks

It’s half-interesting, half-difficult to look at. And the shoes are just tacky.

CHRISTINA RICCI at the Tribeca Film Festival
dress by Oscar de la Renta

Photo: tomandlorenzo.com

The dress is an ill-fitting snooze, and I veto those pointy red pumps.

JULIANNE MOORE in New York City
dress by Valentino, shoes by Tabitha Simmons

Photo: Ilya S. Savenok/FilmMagic

No. This silhouette is a freaking disaster on her, and this was clearly designed for someone closer to Chloë Moretz’s age than Julianne Moore’s.

ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY in Los Angeles
top, skirt, and shoes by Balmain

Photo: Todd Oren/WireImage

Love the skirt, but the top and boots take this straight into really tacky and ridiculously dated territory.

Need more red carpet bitchery? Join me on Twitter tonight at 7:00 EST for the Met Gala red carpet live stream!

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CAREY MULLIGAN at the New York premiere
dress by Lanvin, jewelry by Tiffany & Co., shoes by Brian Atwood

Photo: Dave Allocca/Startraks

Carey Mulligan and Lanvin are a natural match. Her fresh-faced beauty shines in these deconstructed, modern yet classic dresses. I’m not a fan of those platforms, but everything else is perfectly chic.

CAREY MULLIGAN in New York City
dress by Lanvin, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: instyle.co.uk

Girlfriend looks flawless just leaving her hotel in the morning. I want this dress and those shoes in every color, and I want to wear them every day.

CAREY MULLIGAN on Good Morning America
jacket, top, and pants by Lanvin, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Getty

I would love this more if the shoes weren’t black and if her makeup offered just a little bit more of a contrast in terms of color. I get that she’s going through a made-up-to-look-natural phase, but these ladypants call out for some color in the face.

CAREY MULLIGAN in New York City
dress by Prada, shoes by Brian Atwood

Photo: Billy Farrell/BFAnyc/Sipa

There’s fresh-faced, and there’s a deer in the headlights. This is the latter, darling. And it’s a shame, because that dress is exquisite, but it needs a hell of a lot more styling than virtually nothing.

KATY PERRY in New York City
dress, purse, and shoes by Prada

Photo: Stefanie Keenan/Getty

I still hate the Prada flatforms, but I’ve now found someone other than Elle Fanning who can actually pull them off! Kudos to Katy for COMMITTING to this look, because it’s the head-to-toe detailing that makes me actually love it.

FLORENCE WELCH in New York City
suit and purse by Prada

Photo: tomandlorenzo.com

What a pose. She looks like she invented the very concept of coolness. This bitch is just too amazing.

FLORENCE WELCH at the New York premiere
gown, purse, and shoes by Miu Miu

Photo: Sartorial/Splash News

I’d hate the slightly mis-matched purse on anybody else, but leave it to Flo to make it work wonders. In fact, this whole look really wouldn’t work on anyone but Florence, but that’s part of her appeal, at least to me.

MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL in New York City
dress by Prada

Photo: Stefanie Keenan/Getty

I love this because it’s a great example of how to subtly incorporate the 1920s into your look without looking like you’re at a costume party. The boxy silhouette of the dress and the stunning dangly earrings make this feel flapper-esque, particularly with her cropped hair, but it’s still a modern and youthful look, and I can almost never say that about Maggie Gyllenhaal’s wardrobe.

ISLA FISHER in New York City
dress by Prada

Photo: Jamie McCarthy/Getty

The dress is adorable, but it was desperately crying out for WAY more interesting accessories than those very sad, very boring purse and shoes.

ISLA FISHER at the New York premiere
gown and shoes by Dolce & Gabbana, jewelry by Fred Leighton, purse by Roger Vivier

Photo: Jemal Countess/Getty

This looks like three different dresses stapled together.

ISLA FISHER in New York City
top and pants by Chloé, jewelry by Van Cleef & Arpels, shoes by Casadei

Photo: Marion Curtis/Startraks

Go with the baggy shirt or the baggy pants, Isla. Wearing both just obscures your tiny frame, and the gold stripe down the side feels very 70-year-old Elizabeth Taylor, and that’s not a compliment unless you are, in fact, 70-year-old Elizabeth Taylor.

JAY-Z at the New York premiere
suit, tie, shirt, and shoes by Tom Ford

Photo: Stephen Lovekin/Getty

Killing it, as usual.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE at the New York premiere
dress by Viktor & Rolf, purse by Valentino

Photo: Rex

I couldn’t find a full picture of J.Law, but I just needed to show you all how incredibly gorgeous she looks when she skips the red carpet and opts for barely-there makeup. Just LOOK at her skin. It’s fucking flawless.

LEONARDO DICAPRIO at the New York premiere
suit, tie, shirt, and shoes by Prada

Photo: Rex

Sleek and sexy.

NINA DOBREV at the New York premiere
dress by Versace, jewelry by Susan Foster, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by Rupert Sanderson

Photo: Stephen Lovekin/Getty

Cheap and tacky.

ALEXA CHUNG in New York City
dress by Miu Miu

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

Come on, Alexa. Now you’re just wearing the same damn outfit over and over again. Lose the uniform and attempt some originality and let me steal those shoes, because I would wear them with skinny jeans and look awesome.

JENNIFER MEYER and TOBEY MAGUIRE
Jennifer’s dress and purse and Tobey’s suit by Saint Laurent, Jennifer’s shoes by Azzedine Alaïa

Photo: Stephen Lovekin/Getty

Tobey looks great, and his wife’s shoes are to die for.

ANNA WINTOUR at the New York premiere
dress by Chanel, shoes by Manolo Blahnik

Photo: Jemal Countess/Getty

ANNA WINTOUR IS SMILING. And it’s even more terrifying than any of us could have ever imagined.

JENNIFER MORRISON at the New York premiere
dress by Dolce & Gabbana, jewelry by House of Lavande

Photo: D. Dipasupil/FilmMagic

Head-to-toe atrocious. The hair is flat and boring, the lipstick isn’t right, and the dress is too tight, too stuffy, and all-around wrong. Also, pairing white pumps with an ivory dress should be a capital offense.

Need more Gatsby? Don’t miss Part 2 of the star-studded press tour!

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© Democracy Diva, 2013.
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