Welcome back to your regularly scheduled red carpet bitch-fest, dear readers! It’s judging time.
The bitching never ends here at Democracy Diva headquarters, so let’s hit the red carpet. Get your judging pants on!
Welcome back to the red carpet, dear readers. It’s time to judge!
Let’s kick back, relax, and enjoy some judgmental snark. I mean, what else do you come here for?
Glee Dos and Don’ts
Glee‘s resident “Asian” (not to be confused with “Other Asian”) finally looks chic, mature, and utterly fabulous on the red (well, technically blue) carpet. Nude dresses are all the rage, and the interwoven print of those two different fabrics is subtle but gorgeous. I’d have done a lighter shoe (the dress is so pale, plus it’s the middle of the summer) but this is definitely a hit. And her makeup looks absolutely beautiful. She’s glowing.
Kudos to Santana for stepping outside the box. It feels like at every red carpet event, young Hollywood tends to wear the same short, tight, sparkly dress over and over again. Just seeing a different silhouette is refreshing. I’m not in love with the pattern (it matches my bedding perfectly, but I’m not sure it’s great on a dress) but it fits her well. I love the length and the way the skirt flares out. I do wish she’d worn a little bling, but she chose the right shoes, and her hair and makeup are natural-looking and perfect. She’s an incredibly beautiful woman, and with a little coaching (and the right gays) she could become a real fashionista.
Everybody’s favorite dumb blonde is a beautiful girl who consistently looks terrible on the red carpet. This poor girl has no idea what works for her and what doesn’t. First of all, her hair always looks stupid. I don’t understand why she can’t be content to just show off the natural beauty of her gorgeous blonde hair. And her makeup always ages her about ten years. On Glee, Brittany looks fresh-faced and youthful, but this sort of looks like she used ten pounds of makeup to try to achieve a “natural” look. And the outfit is clearly a disaster. Is it an ugly dress, or is it a mismatched top and skirt? The patterns are too much, the proportions are way off, and the fit is terrible. And I’m not sure whether or not I support those shoes. I’m wary of them, to say the least.
But zoom in on that big chunky cuff bracelet, with the exposed zippers and the gold and silver safety pins. That bracelet is gorgeous, and huge, badass bracelets are uber-trendy right now, from the Chanel runway shows to the street. So I am holding out hope for you, Heather, because I know you have potential.
I think this is a great dress for Jayma. It says “I may not be a teen, and I may play a teacher, but I’ve got style and a teensy waist and am overall adorable.” Seriously, her tiny little figure is too cute, and the dress is perfect for her. All Jayma needs is some help with accessories. The belt only distracts from the beauty of the dress, and I don’t like those shoes with it at all. And girlfriend needs some bling. But the dress is supremely cute and the hair and makeup are perfection. Keep it up, Emma!
First of all, let’s say what needs to be said: Lea is looking a little thin lately. She used to be normal-woman thin, but now she’s Hollywood thin, and although she looks incredible, I think there is cause for concern. Lea, do not lose another pound, especially if you’re going to be flying back and forth between LA and New York every day to film Glee and perform in the Funny Girl revival. You’re way too classy to become one of those scary-thin, coked-out, over-extended Hollywood starlets. You’re a nice Jewish girl from Jersey – please don’t turn into Lindsay Lohan.
All public service announcements aside, Lea Michele is once again KILLING IT on the red carpet. This dress is mega-sexy, but not inappropriate for a teen event. Her legs are astounding, the Christian Dior shoes were a stroke of genius, and her hair has never looked better. That natural windblown beach hair look is great for her. She could have eased up on the makeup a touch, but that’s a minor complaint. Say what you will about this diva, but bitch knows how to dress like a winner.
Gomez Gone Wild
The little white dress, like the little nude dress, has taken over the red carpet recently. And Gomez rocks the look, particularly because of those fabulous, 1970s sleeves. The hair is effortlessly beautiful, and the makeup is fresh and natural with heavy eyes, which I love. The shoes aren’t for me, but the black nail polish is badass against the white dress. (Remember: black nail polish is okay on the red carpet; it’s dark toe nail polish that makes starlets look like they’re growing fungi.)
But once you see the back, the look goes from fabulously 70s to Studio 54 cage dancer. I’m not saying I hate it, but there’s something a little trashy about all that silver running down her back. But I do commend her for steering away from the shiny, tight, short dresses or red cocktail dresses that she and Taylor Swift basically live in at most events. It’s always good to try something new, even if from the back she looks like a Cher video.
Oof. This is a disaster for quite a few reasons. That lime green color is terrible on Emma’s ghostly white skin. I’m pale as can be, but even I know that porcelain-skinned girls need to stick to certain colors or get a tan before appearing on the red carpet. Her skin looks grey, the shoes are too much, and the bag is ugly. But what the hell is happening with her makeup? Who on earth told her that brown shadow UNDERNEATH her eyes was a good idea? The grey skin with the brown bags under her eyes makes her look like she belongs in a hospital, not on a red carpet.
Best Reason to Not Loathe Twilight (But I Still Do)
Simple silhouette with a unique and beautiful print – always a solid choice. Ashley brought out all the stops in this fabulous little Valentino number. The peep-toe pumps are perfect, the purse is cute, and I’m loving the ring on her left hand. And the hair and makeup are flawless. She’s a stunning girl who made all the right choices, and that’s simply unstoppable on the red carpet.
© Democracy Diva, 2010.
Biggest Step Forward
My little girl is growing up so fast! 9 times out of 10, Ms. Swift shows up to events looking boring but fabulous in a red gown or glittery cocktail dress. It’s nice to see her step out of that rather primitive box and wear something that takes a little more effort to pull off. She looks glamorous and elegant; older, but by no means old. Darling, you’re blonde, thin, tall, and rich – you better wear that fierce Marchesa gown while you still can! Kudos for showing us something new.
Most Disappointing Winner of a Project Runway Challenge
Well, this is just about the worst Mrs. Seal has ever looked. And it’s really her own fault.
One of this season’s challenges on Project Runway was to create a red carpet look for Heidi herself. Emilio made exactly this (though his version was full-length and looked a little more gold on television). And as you can plainly see, this dress does nothing for one of the world’s most beautiful women. Her tummy looks poochy, her boobs look flat, and she looks like she’s forcing herself to smile to promote her show, but deep down, she knows she looks freaking terrible. This is a basic, ugly American Apparel dress with a little cuff on top. And the shoes don’t work. But that’s what you get, Heidi, for over-praising Emilio so much during this snooze-fest of a season.
That is one ugly dress. Who decided a seam down the center of the entire dress was a flattering look on anybody? And who designed those tacky sleeves, Elton John’s costume designer circa 1979? And don’t get me started for the zillionth time on how damn old she looks. Listen chica, if you want to date men twenty years your senior, just do it. Don’t age yourself so that people don’t ask your boyfriend if he’s your grandfather.
But wait, it gets worse -
It’s not even that it’s a bad haircut – though I sort of think it is. It’s more this entire matronly style that she’s going for. Some girls just don’t know how to appreciate their own youth and beauty, and they go and get the haircut that Kate Gosselin should be getting.
Battle of the Demis
Demi has her own personal fountain of youth that keeps her looking more delectable than ever, but even if she weren’t one of the hottest women around, this is the kind of dress that works for everyone. Gorgeous print, interesting colors, short but not slutty, can go easily from work wear (with a blazer) to evening wear (with fierce heels and a clutch). It’s nice to see celebrities in ridiculous shit we could never pull off, but it’s also refreshing to see an impossibly beautiful women in a dress that would look great on me or my mother.
It must be a little hard to be Demi Lovato. I mean, yeah, she’s cute and famous, but she’s clearly the red-headed stepsister of Selena Gomez, which is hard on a girl. And even though her face is a different color than her arms which are a different color than her legs, I like this look. It’s hella loud, but she’s at a Disney event. The red carpet is blue. The rules are different here. The shoes are a little much, but the dress is fun and flattering; it shows that she’s a teenager and wants to dress a bit adventurous, but it’s not at all slutty. If she could just relax her facial muscles a bit more, I think I’d finally be able to like her.