Oscars bitching hour ain’t over yet, dear readers. Stop: glamour time.
Let’s celebrate the best in British film and TV. By judging bitches.
Fashion week is almost upon us! Let’s prep by stretching our judgment muscles.
There’s judgment and sass to dole out, dear readers. Let’s get cracking.
I know you’ve just recovered from the fabulosity of last week’s world premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2, but it’s time for these Brits to hop on their broomsticks and take a transatlantic journey to New York City. Accio fashion!
Back the fuck up, Muggles – there’s magic in the air.
Cheerio, dear readers! Let’s check in with our favorite fashionable celebrities and see who wore who at the premieres of Harry Potter, Burlesque, and more!
I didn’t love this look at first, but it grows on me the more I look at it. It’s as simple as simple gets, but that’s not a bad thing on a woman this beautiful. It’s sexy but demure, boyish but feminine. A total home run, worthy of the New York premiere of Harry Potter.
This trench coat was custom made for Ms. Watson by Burberry’s Chief Creative Officer as a gift for the Potter premiere. It’s good to be Emma Watson in general, but better when your swag includes Ray Bans, a leather-sleeved Burberry trench and a giant studded purse.
More Burberry, of course. I’m simply loving the studded arms – studs have been trendy for awhile now, but I’ve never seen them used quite like this. The dress underneath is preppy-sexy done right.
The perfect showcase of a day-to-evening coat. Pairing it with those fabulous stockings and badass boots changed her whole persona from prep perfection to biker chic.
Let’s just say it – this bitch knows how to wear a coat! Absolutely stunning. The coat equivalent of a soul mate.
Not loving the shirt, which reads a little more farmer boy than wizard hero, but the jacket fits him nicely.
Absolutely, unequivocally the best Ron Weasley has ever looked. And look at those shoes – what a fashionista! Who knew?
The love child of all my favorite pop culture phenomenons, this Glee star/Harry Potter parody sensation showed up like a total fanboy in his Gryffindor tie and super-excited grin. What a cutie!
Sarah Jessica seems to have paired Bellatrix Lestrange’s costume with Carrie Bradshaw’s shoes. The result? A hot ghetto mess.
Kate’s dress, and others by designer Issa, sold out in stores around the UK just days after Ms. Middleton announced her engagement to the one and only Prince William. Though I’ve always been more of a Team Harry girl (what can I say? I love me some ginger), I can’t deny that Kate Middleton might be the luckeist woman on earth. Not because she’s marrying Will, but because…
… she gets to wear Princess Di’s engagement ring. Yes, this gorgeous sapphire surrounded by diamonds was worn by Will’s mother, the iconic Princess Diana. Absolutely breathtaking.
Great color and fits surprisingly well, considering Katy’s penchant for wearing all of her clothes a size too small. Not quite sure what’s happening with the hemline, but the fierce necklace and refreshingly normal hair and makeup are working for her. Overall? Quite delish.
Who let you out of the house like this, Mandy? Tell them this look stopped being cute twenty years ago, and get yourself a new stylist.
Ricci always has that look on her face that says, “Let’s just talk about how intriguing I am.” But she can give all the douche-face she wants if she keeps wearing such friggen adorable dresses. Although the black tights-red lipstick-severe bangs thing is getting a little trite.
Many called it matronly, and I think I’d agree if it were worn by anyone other than Ms. Carey Mulligan. But this little pixie can pull off things that normal women wouldn’t dream of. I think this dress is fantastic, and I think it feels like a modern garment inspired by fashion of yore. The necklace piece is stunning, and her hair has never looked better.
Rachel, I love you, but no matter how fabulous your dress and shoes are, I will not overlook your two-tone hair. Get your shit together and call your colorist.
There’s a such thing as too much of a good thing, Hilary. We all love us some Marchesa, but there’s a time and place for an endless supply of ruffles, and this just ain’t it.
Totally fabulous. A unique, artistic dress that’s still youthful and flattering, and a killer pair of shoes. But that’s not all Leighton’s got for us this week…
Dear readers, I wish I could tell you that your eyes are playing tricks on you. But sadly, this is reality. Leighton Meester wore a sheer low-cut lace harem-pant jumpsuit with no visible underwear. In public. On purpose. I’ll go ahead and call this a fashionpocalypse.
She looks like a pregnant wax figure drag queen version of Christina Aguilera.
She’s Cher. Who are we to judge? We wake up in the morning our mere mortal selves, and she is CHER. And her legs are still fantastic.
Stunning dress. Buy a hairbrush.
I’ll give it to Anne Hathaway – she could wear the stupidest dress on earth and still shine like a star because of how damn beautiful she is. This dress is a bit of a Christmas disaster, and looks retro to the point of costumey, but look at her eyes! Lips! Hair! She is a goddess.
Rachel Zoe’s former assistant Brad walks the red carpet at GQ‘s Men of the Year party. Dare to wear plaid, Brad. We love it.
Drake always looks delicious, and I never write about him. Let’s just appreciate a former Canadian teen soap opera actor turned rapper for being able to wear the shit out of a suit.
He looks like a middle-aged insurance salesman.
Delish! Nice tie, interesting color suit, and the stupidest hairdo since Justin Bieber.
Love me some Mike Chang, but I think this could fit better.
I usually think Artie looks the best out of all the Gleeks at red carpet events, but he really took it too far this time. The hair, the jacket, the shirt, the vest, the pocket square, those shoes – oy. Don’t use one event to show us every piece of clothing you own. It is possible to look both formal and funky without the whole thing falling apart.
Delectable. Definitely my personal Man of the Year.
And just an extra shot of uber-gay for all the nerds out there – Glee‘s unstoppable Chris Colfer (Kurt Hummel) was honored in OUT Magazine’s Annual Out 100 Issue, which is exactly as gay as it sounds. I nearly wept looking at this photo of this angelic little boy grasping his Judy record next to her obituary in the news.
Apparently the AMAs were tonight, so expect some truly trashy fashion on the blog later this week!
© Democracy Diva, 2010.
Okay, other things are happening on the red carpet besides the Harry Potter premiere, and we’ll get to that, but let’s start with our favorite wizard superstars! (Worry not, Muggles, we’ve got non-magical celebs in this post too.)
The big winner this week is obviously Ms. Hermione Granger herself, who is pulling out all the stops for all the Harry Potter promotional events and premieres. I knew she’d give us something fierce and fabulous, but this bitch looks HOT. I love the sexy little modern flapper dress; it works wonders with her fabulous new pixie cut. And, I know he’s not the foreground in this picture, but can we just talk about how sexy Ron Weasley looks in the poster behind her? Seriously yummy.
As friends of this Diva are well aware, I will be donning my best Bellatrix Lestrange gear when I see the movie next week. But I’m thinking I’d rather just wear this crazy get-up and go as Helena Bonham Carter, who is nearly as fucking nuts as the she-villain she plays. Although, for Ms. Carter, this is downright normal.
Also, I want to meet the people in the Death Eater masks standing behind her. I know they’re fans, but I’m going to pretend that they’re her bodyguards, ready to Crucio the shit out of whoever gets in her way.
Gorgeous, but seriously matronly. I know Fleur’s getting married in this film, but she’s still playing someone who’s approximately twenty years old. She could go a little more youthful, no?
Hello, Draco! You can take me over to the Dark side any time, as long as you keep wearing such fabulous suits. Matching your tie to your baby blue eyes was a stroke of pure genius, almost as brilliant as fixing that Vanishing Cabinet in the Room of Requirement so you could sneak the Death Eaters into Hogwarts. (Seriously, it was a good plan.)
I love American boys as much as the next girl, but goddamit, nobody can wear a suit like British boys. Here are the Weasley twins, barely recognizable without their red hair, rocking some serious digs. I love that these men and Mr. Malfoy are not afraid to incorporate color, texture, and a sexy vest into their attire.
I just needed to point out to the world that THIS IS WHAT NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM LOOKS LIKE NOW. Holy shit, that boy has grown up deliciously well. I’d let him use his Gryffindor sword on my Horcrux any day, if you know what I mean.
Do you think J.K. Rowling and Emma Watson intentionally coordinated their outfits? I hope so. I can’t remember Queen Rowling ever looking so beautiful. And the boys look handsome as ever, but I don’t think they look quite as dapper as Draco and the Weasleys. (That’d be a good band name, no?)
Okay, enough wizardry. Who else strutted the red carpet this week?
I know that I should hate this, and in a normal context I probably would, but my fashion expectations for the CMAs are considerably lower than for most red carpet events. So I’m going to give Carrie a pat on the back for attempting something that’s not white, Grecian, or sparkly. At least she gave us a little intrigue.
Cute dress, but not earth-shattering. It’s refreshing to see her fully clothed and not fellating a lollipop, though.
Maybe this saloon whore gown would have been appropriate for the CMAs, but I don’t think Europe is quite ready for this level of American trash.
That’s not how belts work.
The Democracy Diva
P.S. If I can see your shirt peeking out under your skirt, you need to rethink your outfit.
Delicious. Perfect starlet street wear. Easy-going, breezy-chic dress, great accessories, a gorgeous smile, and killer shoes.
Oy. Dakota can usually be counted on for something tiny, shiny, lacy, and fierce, but this is a colorless, shapeless mess. She looks like a sad child bride.
Yes, that’s Chuck Bass, posing with Mick Jagger’s daughter. It’s good to be young, hot, and British, even for Muggles. And let’s give it up for Ms. Jagger for inheriting badass style and a fabulous pair of lips from her dear old dad. Loving that little red dress.
Terrible. The sleeves, the shoulders, the length, the proportions, the fakest tan since my Halloween Snooki spray tan. It can’t get worse than this…
Looks like I was wrong. Because SHE’S WEARING A GIANT DIAPER PANTY. This isn’t a dress, it’s a vest with tails over granny panties! WHO ALLOWED THIS?
Oh, good lord. This is the most tranny flamenco dancer garment I’ve seen since Project Runway‘s Casanova. I’m getting convinced that this is just a drag version of Eva Longoria.
Tina Fey was in my neighborhood this week, being honored with a prize for comedy at the Kennedy Center. And for the second week in a row, this funny bitch rocked the red carpet in a fierce little getup, showing surprising trendiness, a glamorous hairdo, and an old Hollywood glamour.
Oh, Rihanna. Always looking terrible, but never hitting rock bottom. Can someone please explain to me what that bulge is around her waist? Did she try to make a fannypack out of papier-mache?
Literally perfect from head to toe. Even this Diva Bitch can’t find something negative to say. Keep it up, Annie!
Finally, the “fuck you” to the Project Runway Gretchen-lovers that we’ve all been waiting for. Dedicated readers will recognize this dress as one of the finale looks from fan favorite Mondo Guerra. You might also remember fellow judge Nina Garcia mocking our dear Heidi with a snappy, “I’d like to see you wear that dress,” referring to a long-sleeved twin of this dress. And of course, not one to be sassed, Queen Heidi wore this dress – and rocked it. It’s nice to know someone associated with that show still has some style – besides the omnipotent Tim Gunn, of course.
© Democracy Diva, 2010.