Welcome to the most fabulous night in television, dear readers! Let’s tear these stars apart.
Happy Sunday, dear readers! Cuddle up on your couch and grab your coffee, because we’ve got a lot of judging to do. Let’s get to it!
The 2011 Emmy Awards have come and gone, and we’ve got judging aplenty to do. So let’s dive in.
Happy Sunday, readers!
Okay, other things are happening on the red carpet besides the Harry Potter premiere, and we’ll get to that, but let’s start with our favorite wizard superstars! (Worry not, Muggles, we’ve got non-magical celebs in this post too.)
The big winner this week is obviously Ms. Hermione Granger herself, who is pulling out all the stops for all the Harry Potter promotional events and premieres. I knew she’d give us something fierce and fabulous, but this bitch looks HOT. I love the sexy little modern flapper dress; it works wonders with her fabulous new pixie cut. And, I know he’s not the foreground in this picture, but can we just talk about how sexy Ron Weasley looks in the poster behind her? Seriously yummy.
As friends of this Diva are well aware, I will be donning my best Bellatrix Lestrange gear when I see the movie next week. But I’m thinking I’d rather just wear this crazy get-up and go as Helena Bonham Carter, who is nearly as fucking nuts as the she-villain she plays. Although, for Ms. Carter, this is downright normal.
Also, I want to meet the people in the Death Eater masks standing behind her. I know they’re fans, but I’m going to pretend that they’re her bodyguards, ready to Crucio the shit out of whoever gets in her way.
Gorgeous, but seriously matronly. I know Fleur’s getting married in this film, but she’s still playing someone who’s approximately twenty years old. She could go a little more youthful, no?
Hello, Draco! You can take me over to the Dark side any time, as long as you keep wearing such fabulous suits. Matching your tie to your baby blue eyes was a stroke of pure genius, almost as brilliant as fixing that Vanishing Cabinet in the Room of Requirement so you could sneak the Death Eaters into Hogwarts. (Seriously, it was a good plan.)
I love American boys as much as the next girl, but goddamit, nobody can wear a suit like British boys. Here are the Weasley twins, barely recognizable without their red hair, rocking some serious digs. I love that these men and Mr. Malfoy are not afraid to incorporate color, texture, and a sexy vest into their attire.
I just needed to point out to the world that THIS IS WHAT NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM LOOKS LIKE NOW. Holy shit, that boy has grown up deliciously well. I’d let him use his Gryffindor sword on my Horcrux any day, if you know what I mean.
Do you think J.K. Rowling and Emma Watson intentionally coordinated their outfits? I hope so. I can’t remember Queen Rowling ever looking so beautiful. And the boys look handsome as ever, but I don’t think they look quite as dapper as Draco and the Weasleys. (That’d be a good band name, no?)
Okay, enough wizardry. Who else strutted the red carpet this week?
I know that I should hate this, and in a normal context I probably would, but my fashion expectations for the CMAs are considerably lower than for most red carpet events. So I’m going to give Carrie a pat on the back for attempting something that’s not white, Grecian, or sparkly. At least she gave us a little intrigue.
Cute dress, but not earth-shattering. It’s refreshing to see her fully clothed and not fellating a lollipop, though.
Maybe this saloon whore gown would have been appropriate for the CMAs, but I don’t think Europe is quite ready for this level of American trash.
That’s not how belts work.
The Democracy Diva
P.S. If I can see your shirt peeking out under your skirt, you need to rethink your outfit.
Delicious. Perfect starlet street wear. Easy-going, breezy-chic dress, great accessories, a gorgeous smile, and killer shoes.
Oy. Dakota can usually be counted on for something tiny, shiny, lacy, and fierce, but this is a colorless, shapeless mess. She looks like a sad child bride.
Yes, that’s Chuck Bass, posing with Mick Jagger’s daughter. It’s good to be young, hot, and British, even for Muggles. And let’s give it up for Ms. Jagger for inheriting badass style and a fabulous pair of lips from her dear old dad. Loving that little red dress.
Terrible. The sleeves, the shoulders, the length, the proportions, the fakest tan since my Halloween Snooki spray tan. It can’t get worse than this…
Looks like I was wrong. Because SHE’S WEARING A GIANT DIAPER PANTY. This isn’t a dress, it’s a vest with tails over granny panties! WHO ALLOWED THIS?
Oh, good lord. This is the most tranny flamenco dancer garment I’ve seen since Project Runway‘s Casanova. I’m getting convinced that this is just a drag version of Eva Longoria.
Tina Fey was in my neighborhood this week, being honored with a prize for comedy at the Kennedy Center. And for the second week in a row, this funny bitch rocked the red carpet in a fierce little getup, showing surprising trendiness, a glamorous hairdo, and an old Hollywood glamour.
Oh, Rihanna. Always looking terrible, but never hitting rock bottom. Can someone please explain to me what that bulge is around her waist? Did she try to make a fannypack out of papier-mache?
Literally perfect from head to toe. Even this Diva Bitch can’t find something negative to say. Keep it up, Annie!
Finally, the “fuck you” to the Project Runway Gretchen-lovers that we’ve all been waiting for. Dedicated readers will recognize this dress as one of the finale looks from fan favorite Mondo Guerra. You might also remember fellow judge Nina Garcia mocking our dear Heidi with a snappy, “I’d like to see you wear that dress,” referring to a long-sleeved twin of this dress. And of course, not one to be sassed, Queen Heidi wore this dress – and rocked it. It’s nice to know someone associated with that show still has some style – besides the omnipotent Tim Gunn, of course.
© Democracy Diva, 2010.
This was one of the best looks from Paris Fashion Week, and Blake is nailing it. Not hard, mind you, because the dress does all the work for her. But I suppose we do need someone to stand in it and pull it open so the world can see her vag. Seriously, who poses like that? I’ve seen a dozen different pictures of this dress, and she’s basically a flasher in every one. But a leggy blonde in Lanvin is hard to beat, so she gets a free pass from me (in spite of her black toenail polish).
Problem 1: The breasts. Please look at those strange lines/wrinkles/dimples they make, like she has boobs extending out from boobs. That is so not the way nature-made breasts look.
Problem 2: The illusion of BUSH. I’m sure it’s just dark underwear, but who wears dark underwear under a see-through dress? It saddens me that no one thought to say, “Hey Kim, you’re fabulous, but you’re going a bit Vanessa Hudgens south of the border, so you may want to deal with that.”
Problem 3: The shoulders are like Lady Gaga crossed with angel wings, which sounds awesome in theory, but looks pretty stupid on the red carpet.
Can it be? Do I see what I think I see? IS KRISTEN STEWART SMILING?
She sort of is! This is a miracle! And her hair looks totally normally, which is even more rare than a smile from this crazy bitch. The dress is gorgeous, the shoes are killer, and she actually looks gorgeous. Keep it up, girl!
A step down, but definitely still on the good list. The makeup is a little too heavy for her features. She doesn’t have a face that wears makeup well; the more you pile on, the worse she tends to look. And the smile is gone – she’s back to her usual “Did someone just fart?” face. The hair just looks sloppy and unwashed, but the dress is very beautiful. It has that goth angel look that Kristen Stewart can really nail.
Perfection. Cool hair, flawless makeup, and a truly fabulous little dress. I love that the purse, the dress, and the shoes are all black with a hint of gold bling. (Well, perhaps a bit more than a hint.) And best of all, she looks so at home in this, like she’s more comfortable in bejeweled McQueen than in her pajamas.
Absolutely stunning. My only complaint is that the fabric hangs in a funny way around her ankles. But the bejeweled bustier is phenomenal and the draped skirt is nearly impeccable. And while most starlets would make this look costumey, Ms. Pinto once again looks quite at home in her fabulous digs.
Because everybody needs a dose of what-the-fuckery from Gaga. She might look like the love child of Taylor Momsen and a Sesame Street character, but the effect is still rather fabulous.
I am a huge Kat Dennings fan (not only is she one of the only legitimately funny actresses in film, she’s also Jewish and supremely cool), and I think she looks pretty hot here. The dress doesn’t seem to be laying right, as it’s all wrinkled around her tummy, but that’s not cutting down on the gorgeous factor. It’s great for her figure, professional but stylish, and the heavy makeup works for her. Love the pointy Mary Janes too, of course.
It’s Sally Draper. How could I not include a picture of Sally Draper? Also, I’d have punched a puppy for that dress when I was a kid. Perfection.
Ugh. That shoulder piece is tacky and the whole dress looks droopy and sad. I think I’d be able to give the dress my blessing if Kate had bothered to brush her hair in the month preceding this event. There is no excuse for someone that rich to have four inches of roots showing. Go blonde or go brunette – half and half is not your friend. Although her hair looks so processed and destroyed, it may not be able to afford another round of highlights before it just ups and walks away.
Keira once again knocks it out of the park, continuing to prance around in fabulous little dresses like it’s her job. (Oh wait, it is. Lucky bitch.) The shoes are mega-awesome, the blazer is obviously to die for, and the dress? Quaint and sweet and utterly fabulous.
Ugh, Joanie. Large floral prints stretched over your fabulous figure? That’s just a disgrace to what a bombshell you are. And those bangs are all wrong for you. Those are the wrong shoes, and you’re seriously lacking in bling. Seriously, Team Hendricks, why is no one on their game? Do I have to do everything myself?
Anne Hathaway referencing Audrey Hepburn – it’s simply perfect. An icon of new Hollywood dressed as an icon of old Hollywood, it’s glamour at its most pure. I love contemplative pose and expression. This is why it can be great to have a real actress in these photo shoots – they can convey a depth that many models just can’t.
© Democracy Diva, 2010.
Let’s talk about Georges.
Unfinished, but Fabulous
Easily the most likeable, the most wearable, and therefore the most boring piece in Georges Hobeika’s fascinating and often inspiring haute couture collection. Not that this would qualify as boring under normal circumstances; it’s still high fashion and gorgeous, but it’s certainly nothing new. The tissue-paper draped blouse has been done in countless ways (but I give Hobeika credit for making it more beautiful than most). And the skirt is gorgeous and gives off a fabulous Middle Eastern feel (Hobeika is, after all, Lebanese). But take a look at the next few photos and you’ll see how much more he is capable of.
I want to punch that model in the face for walking with such an unattractive hunch – you’re a fucking runway model, for God’s sake, it’s your JOB to stand up straight, keep your shoulders back, and live on a diet of cigarettes and cocaine. But that ruffled sunflower piece is simply majestic. I just wish the dress either ended there, because it feels like Hobeika was so caught up in the impeccable creation of the top half of the garment that he simply gave up on the bottom. The skirt just sort of hangs there lifelessly, making an otherwise complex and beautiful gown look sloppy and unfinished. Unfortunately, this was a mistake he repeated.
Same exact concept, same exact mistake. Another beautiful incarnation of a unique design element, but the look is nearly ruined by the wrinkled mess south of her hips. I hate the way it drapes around the front of her legs like sweatpants, and the train seems like an afterthought. But I do applaud the red lips and nails; they certainly pop against that soft silver.
This is what I love to see on the runway (though I think the front of the skirt isn’t laying as well as it could). I love this sort of gown because it still feels wearable – it feels like a real cocktail dress, not some cracked-out avant-garde version of what might once have been considered clothing. But it’s so obviously new and fresh, the beading is gorgeous, the colors are fabulous, and those shoes are to die for.
Couture in a nutshell, this is by far my favorite piece in the collection. The bottom feels like strawberry shortcake, or an artist’s studio in the Village; the shape of the skirt feels like Victorian England; and the ruffles are astounding in shape and volume. As close to perfect as couture gets.
Stunning but Derivative
Like everything else in George Chakra’s collection, this dress is impeccably made, red-carpet ready, stunning to look at, and a total has-been. This dress has been seen on Hollywood’s most glamorous as long as Hollywood has existed. We all know that this is a recipe that works – but without a modern twist (and the gloves are not enough), this is just old news.
I understand that fashion is, by its very nature, derivative. Designers are inspired by what came before them. The fashion of the 30s becomes the fashion of the 50s becomes the fashion of the 80s, trends repeat, old tricks are revived and reused. But I think viewers of haute couture collections should still be allowed to expect some originality, some innovation. I know I’m being unreasonably hard on Chakra; all designers have pieces whose influences are easily recognizable. In every collection I’ve posted about on this blog, there’s been looks inspired by, or nearly copied from, other designers. But I’m giving Chakra such a hard time because 1) there are just so many copycat dresses and 2) this is Paris haute couture, and dammit, we deserve better.
Didn’t we see that giant collar on basically every episode of the 4th season of Project Runway? I’m pretty sure that collar is the go-to piece for every designer trying to be couture or avant-garde. And that’s acceptable when you’re in a design competition reality show, but not so much in an haute couture collection in Paris. (But, I concede, I absolutely love those colors together.)
One of the more original looks of the collection, though between the white and champagne frilliness, the red bow, and the blue shoes, I can’t see anyone wearing this outside the holiday season. You can still sense a sort of Marchesa-meets-McQueen feel to it, but it seems more original and inspired than the others. But that may be because this model is basically wearing a crinoline taco.
Stay tuned for tonight’s Diva’s Choice! Another piece of utter delicious fashion is on its way.