The stars donned their fanciest duds and hit the amfAR Cinema Against AIDS Gala in Cannes. I warn you, their charitable contributions (nearly $11 million was raised for AIDS research!) do not make them immune from vicious judgment. So let’s get this party started, dear readers.
Welcome back! More bitchery ahead.
At last, the final portion of your weekly fashion recap.
A brief return to blogging before a finals-filled hiatus.
Classic Americana worn by classy Americans. MObama looks gorgeous in blue Jason Wu. The bows around her waist are cute, and I love the way the dress accentuates her fabulous figure, as if to say I’ve got hips and I love it! Those famous arms (Tom & Lorenzo hilariously referred to them as the “First Guns”) are looking toned as ever, and of course the chunky bracelets are super-trendy. I could do without the shoes, but at least they show that she’s making the effort to have fun with her wardrobe, and isn’t that the point of fashion?
Also, can I just say that I love how often the Obamas are photographed holding hands? As a child raised in the Clinton years, it’s so refreshing to see a First Couple that’s actually in love.
Another Disaster from Rihanna
Are dresses that require a generator becoming a trend? Because I refuse to get behind that. First it was Katy Perry at the Met Gala, now it’s Rihanna. All my least favorite celebrities are donning light-up costumes – next thing you know, Kristen Stewart will mope around the red carpet in a light bulb dress with her hair looking like shit. I’m not sure what concerns me more – the light-up dress, or the fact that her hair color is brighter than the light bulbs. Ladies, reduce your carbon footprint and your fashion faux pas, and nix the light-up dresses, please.
Floral and Fierce
This Diva is fully obsessed with this dress. The sleeve hitting right above the elbow is super-trendy right now, and it always looks great. I love the print and the shape, and that little rainbow belt is just the perfect touch of whimsy (plus it accentuates her teensy little waist). Also, was this photo taken through a time machine? Because SJP is looking suspiciously fresh-faced and beautiful. Keep it up, girl.
The Best and Worst of Lady Gaga
Nope. Words can’t do this one justice. All I can say is Where the Wild Things Are meets car wash meets Cousin It.
This, on the other hand, is why I love Gaga. The crazy wild hair, the signature sunglasses (a Lady never shows her eyes, I suppose), and a purple, seemingly plastic leopard print leotard! It’s weird, sure, but it’s fabulous and fashion-forward. And I’m a huge supporter of nude fishnets to add subtle sex to any outfit. This is a fabulous reminder that though sometimes Gaga’s performance art goes totally off the wall, she’s capable of bringing crazy fashion to a more accessible place.
How to Travel in Style
It helps to be the most beautiful woman alive, but Freida Pinto nails some essential fashion tricks: mixing black, brown, and blue; and looking chic while traveling comfortably. Let’s start with how insanely beautiful she looks even though she hardly looks like she’s wearing makeup. This woman is a goddess. And she’s a master at airport chic – a comfortable yet chic tank and sweater, a loose but fashionable skirt, tights to stay warm on the plane, and flats that are easily removable at security or while napping in first class. Her suitcase is beyond gorgeous, and I love the smoky greyish blue color of that skirt. Effortless and travel-friendly, but still beyond fabulous.
By now we all know that Emma Watson (better known as Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter films) has cut her hair and looks incredible. She’s rocking the pixie cut harder than anyone since Mia Farrow, and after ten years of being our favorite bushy-haired, brilliant witch, she deserves the freedom to cut it all off and do something new. She’s certainly got the perfect facial features to pull it off, and she looks so much older and more sophisticated, but still youthful and modern. And although this may actually be a romper, she looks fierce as hell promoting Deathly Hallows in this long-sleeved lace ensemble.
My only concern with her haircut is that this kind of cut tends to look very awkward in the growing-out stage. And since Part 1 of Deathly Hallows will hit theaters in November (::squeals with excitement::), Ms. Watson will have an ass-load of red carpets to hit, first to promote the film, and then the premieres in LA, New York, London, and every other city on earth. So I’m just hoping her events planner and her hair stylist sit down together and ensure that this fabulous bitch’s hair will look fierce all over the world this fall.
The Material Girl
Madonna celebrated her 52nd birthday the way all of us should – by looking half her age. I think Madonna has never looked better. The hair is curly, wild, and fabulous (though I’d touch up the roots), and the makeup/Botox/face lifts are really working, because her skin looks flawless. The dress is simultaneously mega-hot and totally classy, which is a difficult line to walk. Again, the sleeve hitting right above the elbow is totally adorable (and it covers up her crazy arms). Her figure is as petite and perfect as ever, she’s rocking fishnets and a badass fishnetty glove, and she’s still rocking a cross like it’s 1986. I don’t know if she sold her soul to the devil for a fountain of youth or just has the best plastic surgeon on the planet, but whatever her secret is, I want it.
Worst of the Week: Paris Does Marilyn
Where do I start? How about the bandage dress, which is designed to suck in every part of your body, but somehow makes Paris look like she’s in her second trimester. And the clown makeup? Paris may be a sex icon, but she does not have a beautiful face. Her squinty-eyed, long-nosed face just can’t handle makeup like this (actually, I’m not sure anyone’s face can). Her fake tan is disturbingly orange, she’s wearing a fur coat in AUGUST, and why is she playing dress-up to the launch of her perfume? Is she that desperate for attention? (Well, duh. She’s Paris Hilton.) Also, can we talk about the fact that her perfume is called ‘Tease’? Paris, darling, you’re not a tease. You are the star of one of the world’s most infamous celebrity sex tapes. You’re easy like Sunday morning. You don’t entice men and then leave them wanting more – honey, you give it all away! Perhaps your fragrance should be called “filthy tramp” instead, just for the sake of accuracy.
Best of the Week
WOW. Dianna Agron (better known to Glee fans as pregnant ex-Cheerio Quinn Fabray) has always been beautiful, but she’s never really popped on the red carpet until now. This dress is original, whimsical, and innovative – not to mention it fits her like a dream. It’s not what the average twenty-something starlet wears, and that’s what makes it look so damn good. The shoes are Manolo Blahniks, and they are beautiful. And even though she might be rocking a Bump-It, I think she looks absolutely flawless.