KATY PERRY // dress by The Blonds, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Get your pink boxing gloves out, bitches, ’cause I’m fighting for Katy’s right to rock a Smurfs dress. Is she absolutely insane? Yes. Is she also one of the only women on the red carpet who has a sense of humor about her fashion? Absolutely. I love the strawberry-blonde locks, and aside from the fact that she’s wearing a glorified swimsuit, you couldn’t ask for a more perfect dress to The Smurfs premiere. The blue shoes are super-fun, and although you can’t see it, she’s wearing Smurfs decals on her fingernails. Probably no one else on earth could pull this off, and it certainly has no use outside of this event, but I think it was a hilarious, fun, tongue-in-cheek risk, and I’m glad she took it.
FREIDA PINTO // dress by Marios Schwab
YUM. This girl was born to wear color, and she’s workin’ it in this fabulous orange wrap dress. Love the belt, the shape, the shoes – simple and chic.
SARAH JESSICA PARKER // dress by Mary McFadden, shoes by Roger Vivier
An absolutely beautiful dress. The color is terrific and it fits her perfectly. The shoes are a bit chunky, but it’s better than boring nude pumps or silver strappy sandals. Love the hair.
MILA KUNIS // dress by Lanvin
Love the shoes, but that color dress makes her look awfully orange. And it’s not particularly flattering – even though Mila likely hasn’t eaten in the past two years, she looks several months pregnant in this. That’s the problem with rouching over the tummy area.
I usually think she looks like she’s trying incredibly hard to seem interesting and edgy, but I must admit that I like this look. I dig a woman who can look formal and sexy in pants.
I’m going to go ahead and call this the best Paris Hilton has ever looked. Even though it’s as basic as Hollywood fashion gets, the dress is sexy and stylish (without being vulgar) and the accessories are inoffensive. For Paris, that’s a rave review.
COURTNEY LOVE // dress by Miu Miu, shoes by Giuseppi Zanotti
I don’t know when the queen of grunge became the queen of the middle-aged Hamptons housewives, but Courtney constantly keeps me surprised. This time, it’s a grandma dress, feathers in her hair, and nude gloves – who will she be next week?
ANNA PAQUIN // skirt by Herve Leger
Love it. Chic, totally put-together, styled perfectly.
KATE BECKINSALE // dress by Tibi, shoes by Brian Atwood
Love the watch. Everything else is chic but B-O-R-I-N-G.
KELLY ROWLAND // dress by Emma Griffiths, shoes by Christian Dior
Funky dress; disgusting shoes.
Delicious blazer – that color is fantastic, and the shape is interesting. If only the dress under it weren’t so sad. I just want to hold its hand and hand it a tissue and blast some Taylor Swift and tell it that men are pigs, but everything will be okay.
RACHEL WEISZ // dress by Chloe
Terrible color dress for her skin tone. It washes her out completely. But I want all her accessories.
Glee‘s Quinn Fabray is hardly recognizable with her sloppy, shaggy bob, and that’s not a good thing. When you’re barely famous, the last thing you want is to change your look so drastically that even your fans can’t quite recognize you. Plus, that’s probably the ugliest haircut I’ve ever seen. Girlfriend needs to sue her hair stylist.
Gaga, I think your dress is on upside-down.
JAYMA MAYS // dress by Reem Acra, shoes by Ferragamo
Miss Pillsbury is all wrapped up like a Christmas present, and I couldn’t hate it more. This is definitely what Tim Gunn would call “student work” – those appliqued flowers are fugly, that color is offensive to my eyes, and the stiffness of the bodice looks uncomfortable. The cranberry shoes would be beautiful with anything other than this hot mess of a dress.
ROSE BYRNE // skirt by Zimmermann, shoes by Nicholas Kirkwood
Um, what the fuck happened to Rose Byrne’s face? She looks like she’s had some truly terrifying work done in the past few weeks. And, once again, what’s with the stripper shoes? Did some celebrity-frequented sex shop in Hollywood have a huge sale, or something?
Don’t forget to check out Part 1 and stay tuned for Part 3!