Welcome, dear readers, to the 2019 Oscars!
Best Dressed: BILLY PORTER
gown by Christian Siriano
Every emotion I went through when this iconic fashion moment occurred:
- Rename the Oscars after Billy Porter.
- I look forward to recapping the 2020 Billys, wherein Billy does several costume changes and gets Best Dressed in every post.
- Is Billy Porter invited to the Met Gala?
- SOMEONE MAKE SURE BILLY PORTER IS INVITED TO THE MET GALA.
- IT’S CAMP-THEMED. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
- Nothing else I see on the red carpet tonight will come anywhere close to this.
All of these emotions can also be summed up in this seven-second video:
— Vauxhall_Tavern (@thervt) February 25, 2019
It should be noted that this is not merely everything I have ever wanted out of the red carpet. It’s also an homage to the recently-departed icon Hector Xtravaganza, known as the “grandfather of ballroom.” Phenomenal.
Runner-Up: CONSTANCE WU
gown by Atelier Versace, earrings by Swarovski
Give me ALL of that modern Belle realness, Constance. I am so fucking here for this.
Honorable Mention: JENNIFER LOPEZ
gown by Tom Ford, jewelry by Niwaka, purse by Tyler Ellis
It’s not the first mirror gown in J.Lo’s red carpet record, but it might be my favorite look of hers in several years. Hair, makeup, and earrings are also extremely on point.
suit by Christian Dior
Yes, Billy Porter makes every other man on earth look like a real amateur. But there were serious efforts amongst the gentlemen of the Oscars this year, and it was refreshing. Look at that gorgeous little skirted jacket. He looks like a sexy Malfoy cousin. In a good way.
gown by Atelier Versace, jewelry by Cartier
Amy Adams always looks perfectly lovely, but rarely memorable. Dress like you’re taking home a trophy, Amy. It usually works. (It didn’t for Glenn Close, but you know what I mean.)
I adore this. The futuristic neckline and big bedazzled shoulders make this feel like a Golden Girls-Star Trek crossover episode. (I don’t know if there’s a target audience for that, but if there is, I’m positive that audience also reads this blog.)
gown by Armani Privé, jewelry by Forevermark
Stunning. And the jewelry is spectacular, but I’d have added a necklace and lightened up the bracelets.
gown by Rodarte
Soft, ethereal beauty.
gown by Christian Dior, jewelry by Bulgari
The sleeves don’t work for me – from the square shoulder to the cuffs, they’re kind of a mess – and the bracelets aren’t helping. But it was fairly stunning from the back:
The darker hair is great, but the style’s a little flat.
gown by Diego Montoya
An historic drag moment. My heart is so goddamn happy that Shangela is at the motherfucking OSCARS.
tuxedo by Tom Ford, shirt by Alexander McQueen, shoes by Jimmy Choo
Cool cuffs; terrible shoes.
gown by Prada, jewelry by Chopard
Olivia’s acceptance speech was one of the highlights of the entire Oscars. The dress is a little less memorable, though.
jumpsuit by Brandon Maxwell, jewelry by Forevermark
I think it needed either the cape or the long sleeves, but not both.
gown by Schiaparelli, shoes by Tamara Mellon
Points for effort, but she looks absolutely ridiculous. Honestly, I’m not sure any non-Rihanna human being alive could pull this off, with the possible exception of Billy Porter.
gown by Christian Dior
Pretty, but the color’s a bit of a snooze.
gown by Rodarte, jewelry by Harry Winston
Not a fan of this “not quite purple, not quite brown” thing.
gown and jewelry by Louis Vuitton
Is it like, a LIFETIME contract with Louis Vuitton? Emma’s had to suffer through these overworked, awkward LV looks for what feels like decades. Someone liberate her – and the rest of us – from this madness.
gown by Giambattista Valli
I like that going bold with pink statement gowns was a Thing at the Oscars this year. I just don’t think this one made a whole lot of sense. The print is Betsey Johnson, the ruffles are too damn much, and the earrings don’t work with the outfit.