The Week in Fashion

Best of the Runway


Though no one above a size zero could really wear a dress with that tummy cutout in the middle, this dress is magnificent. I’d be shocked if we didn’t see this on the red carpet this season. My only hope is that stars brave it out and wear this dress exactly as its shown, instead of editing it down to something more boring. But this was the best piece in a pretty stellar collection by Versace.

Best and Worst


I was beyond relieved to see SJP step out in this gorgeous Lanvin frock. She used to be one of my favorite stars to watch on the red carpet, but in recent years, she seems to have made the conscious decision to stop aging gracefully and dress like a tween star. Thankfully, she resisted that urge, and wore something sexy, eye-catching, and age appropriate. Last week, I had a cab driver tell me I looked like Sarah Jessica Parker – maybe I can actually take that as a compliment?

Sarah Jessica Parker in Marchesa

Nope, it was definitely an insult to be told I look like this lady. And if it wasn’t, I’m certainly insulted now just by looking at this photo. I honestly believe that you would have to be 1/3 of SJP’s age to pull this off. And it’s not because it’s too sexy or revealing, because I think ladies of a certain age should still be able to sex it up. It’s just incredibly immature and clearly designed for a 16-year-old model to wear. Precious as this dress is, it looks completely insane on a 50+ woman. (I just checked, and apparently she’s only 44. She definitely looks above 50, by Hollywood standards, anyway.) SJP’s Team needs to put down the crackpipe and realize that they’re not dressing Miley Cyrus.

Most Offensive Shorts


Almost everything in this photo offends me. Let’s go through it point by point.

  • I always thought gladiator sandals were disgusting, but even if you disagree, they’re at least a few seasons out of style now.
  • That necklace is just too much with that outfit. Keep it simple.
  • Haven’t people learned better than to wear horizontal stripes, particularly with something high-waisted? Her legs look fierce, but her torso looks about an inch long.
  • I’m too busy vomiting to talk about how much I loathe those high-waisted baggy shorts.
  • She’s wearing too much blush, her eyebrows are too pointy, and that hairdo is oddly formal. Where are you going that requires an updo, a leather jacket, and fugly shorts? A black tie lesbian motorcycle convention?

When They Colonize The Moon, Let’s Send Her First


I am so tired of hating Jennifer Aniston. I really do wish she would just fade into oblivion so I wouldn’t have to see how sad and lonely and poorly dressed she is. She has possibly the most boring fashion sense of any star. This is not only boring, but unflattering and ill-fitting. Also, we get it. You’re a Greek girl with fabulous Greek coloring. Stop wearing Grecian gowns. It’s not cute anymore. She looks like she broke her arm but decided to incorporate the sling into the gown. It’s an awkward length, it drapes very unfortunately across her tummy, she looks like she can’t walk in it, and the color is blah. Also, either stay brunette or go to your colorist more often, because there’s no reason a woman as rich as you should have golden sun-kissed hair with black roots.

Best of the Week


To the premiere of her badass rocker film, and her first real adult role, Dakota Fanning wore something sweet and girly as can be. And I think that was a brilliant decision by an incredibly precocious and talented girl. Dakota Fanning will always keep us guessing about what she’s capable of. When we pegged her as a sweet child star, she took a role as a drinking, girl-kissing punk rocker. When we got used to her role in The Runaways, she showed us that she can still be poised, graceful, and feminine. The dress is gorgeous, especially on her porcelain skin. I hope she never gets into the fake tanning scene, because her delicate beauty is just incredible. We already knew she had a long career ahead of her, but now it’s clear that she’s got a lot more tricks up her sleeve.

The Long Overdue Oscars Red Carpet

Let’s get right to it.

Hot Mama

Amy Adams in Alberta Ferretti at the Vanity Fair Oscars Party

By far the most beautiful pregnant woman I’ve ever seen, other than Heidi Klum, who is a freak of nature. The hair and makeup are flawless, and this dress is so earth goddess and yet still formal at the same time. A+, Amy!

Most Overrated

Zoe Saldana in Givenchy

This dress somehow showed up on Best Dressed list after Best Dressed List, and I’m still struggling to figure out why. It looks like three different dresses arbitrarily sewn together. And yes, Zoe Saldana is gorgeous, but I still can’t take her seriously because I will only remember her for her work in Center Stage. Call me nostalgic, I just want to see her being sassy to Peter Gallagher again.

A Trend Done Right

Anna Kendrick in Elie Saab

This season is full-on obsessed with gowns that match the skin tone, which I think can be a difficult look to pull off if it’s not done perfectly. But I think Ms. Anna “Fritzy” Kendrick looks incredibly beautiful. I think I love it so much because she didn’t just rely on the beautiful color to do all the work for her. She chose a particularly intricate dress (the lace embellishment towards the bottom is particularly eye-catching and stunning), and she didn’t distract from the dress with accessories that contrast that beautiful color. She went with shoes to match, and soft-colored and diamond accessories. The hair and makeup make her look angelic. So although I’m getting sick of this trend, I think she nailed it.

The Comeback

Cameron Diaz in Oscar de la Renta

Let’s just say it – Cameron Diaz has looked like shit lately. She always looks like she’s far underdressed, just rolled out of bed, or put on her grandmother’s suit. it nice to see a beautiful woman in a gorgeous (albeit cliche) gown. Lay off the plastic surgery, keep dressing age-appropriately, and you’ll stay fabulous forever, Cameron.

Think of Meryl Streep

Meryl Streep in Christopher March

In the immortal words of Matt Rostowsky, GET IT, MERYL! She looks like she doesn’t give a shit if she wins an award or not – she’s there to have a blast, and she looks every bit the glamour queen. Kudos to Project Runway alum Chris March for another fabulous look that works like a charm on a “real” woman’s body.

Worst Dressed

Vera Farmiga in Marchesa

As much as I love Marchesa, it is not an easy look to pull off. Nor is that color, particularly against the red carpet. And if you aren’t the most beautiful woman in the world, layers and layers of huge ruffles are probably not your best plan. I think the dress is garish and makes Farmiga look much uglier and fatter than she actually is. Vera, you’re good-looking, but you’re no couture model. So stop dressing like one.

Best Dressed

Elizabeth Banks in Atelier Versace

I’m really happy Elizabeth Banks is getting the attention she deserves. I’m a huge fan of Judd Apatow’s films, but I hate that he puts such un-funny women (Kristen Bell, Katherine Heigl) in lead roles. He should just keep casting Banks in everything –  she’s stunningly gorgeous and truly hilarious. This photo is proof that she’s a woman to be reckoned with. It’s difficult to find women who are beautiful, down-to-earth, funny, and well-dressed. Elizabeth Banks is a rare quadruple threat, and I hope she has a long career ahead of her of looking great and making us laugh.

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