The Long Overdue Oscars Red Carpet

Let’s get right to it.

Hot Mama

Amy Adams in Alberta Ferretti at the Vanity Fair Oscars Party

By far the most beautiful pregnant woman I’ve ever seen, other than Heidi Klum, who is a freak of nature. The hair and makeup are flawless, and this dress is so earth goddess and yet still formal at the same time. A+, Amy!

Most Overrated

Zoe Saldana in Givenchy

This dress somehow showed up on Best Dressed list after Best Dressed List, and I’m still struggling to figure out why. It looks like three different dresses arbitrarily sewn together. And yes, Zoe Saldana is gorgeous, but I still can’t take her seriously because I will only remember her for her work in Center Stage. Call me nostalgic, I just want to see her being sassy to Peter Gallagher again.

A Trend Done Right

Anna Kendrick in Elie Saab

This season is full-on obsessed with gowns that match the skin tone, which I think can be a difficult look to pull off if it’s not done perfectly. But I think Ms. Anna “Fritzy” Kendrick looks incredibly beautiful. I think I love it so much because she didn’t just rely on the beautiful color to do all the work for her. She chose a particularly intricate dress (the lace embellishment towards the bottom is particularly eye-catching and stunning), and she didn’t distract from the dress with accessories that contrast that beautiful color. She went with shoes to match, and soft-colored and diamond accessories. The hair and makeup make her look angelic. So although I’m getting sick of this trend, I think she nailed it.

The Comeback

Cameron Diaz in Oscar de la Renta

Let’s just say it – Cameron Diaz has looked like shit lately. She always looks like she’s far underdressed, just rolled out of bed, or put on her grandmother’s suit. it nice to see a beautiful woman in a gorgeous (albeit cliche) gown. Lay off the plastic surgery, keep dressing age-appropriately, and you’ll stay fabulous forever, Cameron.

Think of Meryl Streep

Meryl Streep in Christopher March

In the immortal words of Matt Rostowsky, GET IT, MERYL! She looks like she doesn’t give a shit if she wins an award or not – she’s there to have a blast, and she looks every bit the glamour queen. Kudos to Project Runway alum Chris March for another fabulous look that works like a charm on a “real” woman’s body.

Worst Dressed

Vera Farmiga in Marchesa

As much as I love Marchesa, it is not an easy look to pull off. Nor is that color, particularly against the red carpet. And if you aren’t the most beautiful woman in the world, layers and layers of huge ruffles are probably not your best plan. I think the dress is garish and makes Farmiga look much uglier and fatter than she actually is. Vera, you’re good-looking, but you’re no couture model. So stop dressing like one.

Best Dressed

Elizabeth Banks in Atelier Versace

I’m really happy Elizabeth Banks is getting the attention she deserves. I’m a huge fan of Judd Apatow’s films, but I hate that he puts such un-funny women (Kristen Bell, Katherine Heigl) in lead roles. He should just keep casting Banks in everything –  she’s stunningly gorgeous and truly hilarious. This photo is proof that she’s a woman to be reckoned with. It’s difficult to find women who are beautiful, down-to-earth, funny, and well-dressed. Elizabeth Banks is a rare quadruple threat, and I hope she has a long career ahead of her of looking great and making us laugh.

One response to The Long Overdue Oscars Red Carpet

  1. Haley

    My thoughts:
    Amy Adams, totally gorgeous and I’m glad she found a color other than green.

    Zoe Saldana, what the fuck was she thinking? It looks like someone was trying to make her out of paper mache’ and ran out, so they switched to glitter. SHAPE UP EVA RODRIGUEZ AND PUT ON YOUR GODDAMN LEOTARD.

    Fritzy is flawless.

    Cameron Diaz was best dressed of maybe any award show this year. You can look at that picture thirty years from now and say “That girl was a movie star”, unlike the other ladies where you’d say “was it prom or something?” Also, she’s wearing the dress I’d wear and look AWESOME in.

    Meryl Streep….I’m sorry is her next role as a karate master? It’s a cowell neck bathrobe. Just because she happens to not look like the total drek she usually looks like is not a reason to reward her with Mad Props. Oscars, yes. Props, no.

    Vera Farmiga, sigh. She is so wrong. She is so wrong with absolutely everything. I’d compare her to someone else that’s wrong about absolutely everything but I won’t mix politics with fashion. It’s almost impossible to look at her.

    Elizabeth Banks, I have feelings on. You love her, but I have a feeling that’s because you haven’t read a really disgusting interview she gave where she pretty much talked about how hard it is to be so pretty and have the burdensome task of doing comedy. It was totally gross. And while I thought I loved that dress, if you look at it straight on from the front you see that the ruffles only go to like, a little above mid calf. Weird.

    Also, thank you for not including Gabby Sidibe on this list. Everyone’s talking about how gorgeous she looked because they’re amazed a fat chick can have makeup put on her and fit into a dress. They don’t want to criticize the fat black chick. But honestly? Gabby wore a dress Bubbie could pull off it was so fucking matronly. And that judgment call has nothing to do with her being heavy….the dress was just way too old. She needs Valentino to make her one of those dresses that has the built in corset in a blush pink or lavendar color. She’d be a dream.

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