Vampires! Witches! Velvet scrunchies!
Every con has its pros. And every pro has a bedazzled pantsuit.
Welcome back to the French Riviera, where things continue to be breathtakingly glamorous.
Welcome to opening day of Cannes! (What? It was only like a week and a half ago. I’m not that far behind). For the uninitiated, the week-long Cannes Film Festival offers some of the best fashion of the year, every year. I’m not sure what makes stars bring it so hard to this particular festival – the French Riviera sunshine? The constant presence of March Fabness 2018 Champion Fan Bingbing? The knowledge that someone important could walk out of your new movie ten minutes into its premiere and ruin your entire life? Whatever magic is in the air, I’m grateful for it.
Every year, like clockwork, somewhere between a dozen and a score models take to the Met Gala in dresses that can only be described as UNDERWHELMING. They may be on theme, or they may not; they may be pretty, or they may not. But they all make me roll my eyes to some degree.
Please, no loud noises or sudden movements. These stars have all suffered head injuries that caused them to believe they are attending the Oscars. They think they look amazing – and they would, on any other red carpet. But friends, the Met Gala is not the goddamn Oscars. (Though this year’s theme was a little more traditional-red-carpet friendly than previous years, I still can’t bring myself to put anyone in the Best Dressed post who didn’t really commit to the costume.)
Alright, dear readers. Hollywood’s biggest night finally comes to a close.
What, you thought we were done?
The Oscars have come and gone, but our judgment is forever.
Pour yourself another cup of coffee and let’s finish this red carpet..