Pour yourself another cup of coffee and let’s finish this red carpet..
Best Dressed: DIANE KRUGER
gown by Prada, jewelry by Fred Leighton
BURY ME IN THIS PRADA AND I WILL RISE FROM THE MOTHERFUCKING GRAVE, THAT IS HOW POWERFUL THIS DRESS IS.
Runner-Up: ALISON BRIE
gown and pants by Vassilis Zoulias
This is probably exactly what I would’ve worn to the Globes, if I weren’t banned for being
not famous TOO AMAZING. Something with pants and pockets that makes me feel powerful and glam, plus as many diamonds as a jeweler will lend me. I’ve loved Alison for years, and am ALL ABOUT her performance on Glow. I also am obsessed with her new 80s-throwback messy-curly bob and will be reporting back to you all on whether it works on a girl who doesn’t have Alison’s button nose and razor-sharp cheekbones. (That girl is me, btw.)
Honorable Mention: ISSA RAE
gown by Prabal Gurung, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, shoes by Stuart Weitzman
It’s not even really my style, but something about Issa was just magnetic in this dress. She made all the details work, from the poufs on the shoulders to the semi-cape to the statement necklace. She’s such a joy to follow on the red carpet, and not just when Giuliana Rancic asked Issa what she would name her memoir if she ever wrote one. Even though Issa’s already a New York Times bestselling memoirist. (You’re allowed to not know that about Issa Rae, dear readers. But you’re not allowed to get paid a million dollars a year by E! to interview celebrities and also not know that. Be better, Giuliana.)
GAYLE KING, OPRAH WINFREY, and AVA DUVERNAY
Oprah’s gown by Atelier Versace, jewelry by Neil Lane
Ava’s jewelry by Eva Fehren
No words. Just excellence.
dress by Christian Dior, jewelry by Forevermark
That collar is a delight.
gown by Oscar de la Renta, necklace by Tiffany & Co.
Necklace + swirly neckline + wavy tousled hair = an unbeatable combination.
gown by Vionnet
My soul sister Midge Maisel! It’s a little underwhelming in photographs, but this shone on television when Rachel went on stage to accept her Globe. Her beautiful eyes, the bun, the diamond earrings, the gown – all of it worked, even if it’s a bit harder to take in all the dress’s details in a photo.
gown by Jean Paul Gaultier, jewelry by Neil Lane, shoes by LeSilla
Love the texture and the silhouette. Great way to stick with the red carpet blackout and still stand out.
EMMA STONE and BILLIE JEAN KING
Emma’s gown and jewelry by Louis Vuitton
Digging Ms. Stone’s shoes, though the rest of the styling isn’t blowing me away. But I’m living for the presence of one Billie Jean King, whom Emma played in Battle of the Sexes, is of course one of the greatest tennis players of all time, the first president of the Women’s Tennis Association, and an overall BAMF.
gown by Chloé, jewelry by Chopard
A gorgeous fabric, certainly, but something about the proportion makes her look like a little girl lost in her grandma’s dress. I think it’s extra-long sleeves. Since you can’t see leg or neck, and she’s only 5’3″, she just looks gobbled up by this dress. Killing it on the earring front, though.
gown by Saint Laurent, earrings by Lorraine Schwartz
And speaking of killing it on the earring front: YAS. It’s hard to see in photos that this dress is velvet, so it reads as fairly boring, but the earrings definitely help rescue it from the depths of red carpet forgettableness. (Forgettability? Forgettabilitude? Let’s go with forgettabilitude.)
gown by Givenchy, jewelry by Fred Leighton
No complaints, but I can’t get excited about this one. Love the black nails, though.
REESE WITHERSPOON and EVA LONGORIA
Reese’s gown by Zac Posen
Eva’s gown by Genny, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, shoes by Saint Laurent
It was so sweet of Eva to cut off a triangle of fabric the top of her own dress and tack in onto Reese’s! Now that’s female friendship done right.
gown by Christian Dior
I will never find her interesting, no matter how hard I try.
dress and pants by Monse
If your earrings are almost a necklace, you’re doing it wrong.
AMERICA FERRERA and NATALIE PORTMAN
America’s blazer and gown by Christian Siriano, purse by Tyler Ellis
Natalie’s gown by Christian Dior, jewelry by Tiffany & Co.
America should fire her stylist for putting her in that ill-fitting jacket, which is so discordant with the dress beneath it. A crime against a gorgeous woman, truly. Digging Natalie’s velvet moment, though.
MARY J. BLIGE
gown by Alberta Ferretti, jewelry by Chopard
The silver in the skirt is working for me, but the sleeve I just can’t get behind.
MARAI LARASI and EMMA WATSON
Emma’s gown by Ronald van der Kemp
I can’t find a nice way to say that I hate Emma’s entire look, from mom-cut bangs on down. But I do adore Emma, and her smile, and more importantly her date. Marai Larasi is the head of Imkaan, a UK-based organization focused on preventing violence against minority women and girls. And I’d wear her suit over Emma’s dress any day of the week.
gown and jewelry by Chanel, purse and shoes by Jimmy Choo
Oh, so we’re still letting the late-90s tattoo necklaces I wore in sixth grade be a trend again? I mean, not just on normal high school girls who don’t know any better, but on the red carpet, and everything? Yeesh. 2018 really is a mess.
gown by Giambattista Valli, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, shoes by Christian Louboutin
I had to search for an unreasonable amount of time for a picture where Kendall train didn’t up 40% of the screen. It’s an embarrassingly long train, y’all. To wear a train like that, at an awards show where you’re not nominated for anything, and aren’t even really in the industry? That just feels like such a sad and desperate move. Save your miles-long trains for the Met Gala, honey. This really isn’t your rodeo.
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