Believe it or not, the Golden Globes are not the only awards show in existence! The stars got a week off to exfoliate, and now they’re back on their bullshit – and more importantly, I’m back on mine.
Pour yourself another cup of coffee and let’s finish this red carpet..
Pack your couture and some sunscreen, darlings, and let’s go to Cannes.
Welcome back to Venice!
BAHH, BAHH; BA-BA-BA BAHHH, BAHH; BA-BA-BA BAHHH, BAHH; BA-BA-BA-BAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
New faces! Cute couples! Pop superstars!
Go stand near a body of water and put your hand on your hip. BOOM! You’re ready for the Cannes photocalls.