Believe it or not, the Golden Globes are not the only awards show in existence! The stars got a week off to exfoliate, and now they’re back on their bullshit – and more importantly, I’m back on mine.

Best Dressed: KIERNAN SHIPKA
top and pants by Delpozo

Just try and name a more iconic fashion risktaker whose risks pay off so consistently. NOBODY does it like Kiernan. Her primary concern on the red carpet appears to be having a fan-fucking-tastic time, and that makes her wardrobe more fun to watch than anybody else’s. And while most child actors hit 18 and immediately start dressing like newly-divorced 40-year-olds, Kiernan is out here glorying in her youth with her half-tulle tunic and her neon train and her kicky little pants. I believe the children are our future, y’all. I also believe skirts-over-pants are our future. So, overall, there’s hope.

Runner-Up: SAOIRSE RONAN
gown by Michael Kors, jewelry by Messika, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

I love her lipstick, I love the silhouette, and I love that the draping creates what appears to be a scorpion eating her lady parts.

Honorable Mention: JESSICA BIEL
dress by Oscar de la Renta, purse by Tyler Ellis, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

This may come as a shock to you, faithful readers – it certainly surprised the hell out of me. But yes, it’s true – I liked Jessica Biel’s outfit. What’s more, I thought it was interesting! Now I have to go, because I’m pretty sure four dudes on horseback just rode by my window.

ANGELINA JOLIE
gown by Ralph & Russo, earrings by Neil Lane, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

Simple, but gorgeous. Love the pops of bright red, with the matching lips and nails. The styling is excellent overall – it helps bring what could have been a basic dress to a higher level.

ALLISON JANNEY
gown by Michael Cinco

The hair’s a tad too country-singer for my taste, but the gown is an absolute delight.

YARA SHAHIDI
gown by Giambattista Valli

I think the gold embellishments are at odds with the lavender floral print. But the print itself is divine, and I adore the delicate draping of those sleeves.

KATE BOSWORTH
gown by Brock Collection, jewelry by Piaget, purse by Tyler Ellis

It’s a little undead-bride, but I think I actually love that about it. The problem is really whatever’s happening right above the peplum, with that extra lump of fabric and the trim under the bustline. I just… don’t know what I’m looking at, and it’s unsettling.

JAIMIE ALEXANDER
gown by Georges Chakra, shoes by Chloe Gosselin

The styling is all a little dated – the updo and the platforms don’t feel fresh, and a pop of color on the lip would have helped. But the dress itself is stunning, if maybe a little bit much for this venue.

OLIVIA MUNN
gown by Prada

Great color; still debating whether the embellishments are a necessary detail or a strangely fussy bib.

ALEXIS BLEDEL
gown by Rasario, jewelry by Forevermark, shoes by Sophia Webster

Everything was breathtaking until I scrolled down to the hemline. That not-quite-midi, not-quite-full-length situation is killing me, especially with those shoes. YOU WERE DOING SO WELL, RORY.

CONSTANCE WU
gown by Galia Lahav

That color is heavenly on her.

MARGOT ROBBIE
gown by Chanel

Is it a dress? Is it pants? Is it a circus tent? Is it a real, live zebra? NOBODY KNOWS!

 

EMILIA CLARKE
dress by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Gianvito Rossi

Sleek and chic, if a little underwhelming. Cute that she shares a wardrobe with…

REESE WITHERSPOON
dress by Prada, shoes by Roger Vivier

The cut’s a little boxy, and the hairy shoes are bothering me.

YVONNE STRAHOVSKI
dress by Ronald van der Kemp

There’s nothing wrong with it, per se. It just doesn’t feel like awards show fashion, even for a third-tier awards show that nobody actually cares about but I’m still blogging about because the Golden Globes only had black dresses which was for a good cause but also REALLY HARD TO BLOG ABOUT BECAUSE IT WAS ALL BLACK DRESSES and so here we are. Uh, what was I talking about?

SAMIRA WILEY

The silhouette doesn’t make a lot of sense to me, and the styling isn’t helping.

NICOLE KIDMAN
gown by Valentino, jewelry by Fred Leighton, shoes by René Caovilla

This is ridiculous and honestly, a little terrifying.

GRETA GERWIG
gown by Fendi

I get what she was going for, but no.

EMMA ROBERTS
gown by Giorgio Armani

Emma, I’m sorry I can’t write about the elegant minimalism of your gown because of the fact that you’re wearing A FUCKING BROOM ON YOUR FOREHEAD, SERIOUSLY GIRL, WHAT IS GOING ON UP THERE, DO YOU NEED HELP, BLINK TWICE IF WE SHOULD RESCUE YOU.

Worst Dressed: HALEY BENNETT
dress by Chloé

I reject all of this.

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© Democracy Diva, 2018.
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