2018 Critics’ Choice Awards, Part 1

Believe it or not, the Golden Globes are not the only awards show in existence! The stars got a week off to exfoliate, and now they’re back on their bullshit – and more importantly, I’m back on mine.

top and pants by Delpozo

Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty

Just try and name a more iconic fashion risktaker whose risks pay off so consistently. NOBODY does it like Kiernan. Her primary concern on the red carpet appears to be having a fan-fucking-tastic time, and that makes her wardrobe more fun to watch than anybody else’s. And while most child actors hit 18 and immediately start dressing like newly-divorced 40-year-olds, Kiernan is out here glorying in her youth with her half-tulle tunic and her neon train and her kicky little pants. I believe the children are our future, y’all. I also believe skirts-over-pants are our future. So, overall, there’s hope.

gown by Michael Kors, jewelry by Messika, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty

I love her lipstick, I love the silhouette, and I love that the draping creates what appears to be a scorpion eating her lady parts.

Honorable Mention: JESSICA BIEL
dress by Oscar de la Renta, purse by Tyler Ellis, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

Photo: Taylor Hill/Getty

This may come as a shock to you, faithful readers – it certainly surprised the hell out of me. But yes, it’s true – I liked Jessica Biel’s outfit. What’s more, I thought it was interesting! Now I have to go, because I’m pretty sure four dudes on horseback just rode by my window.

gown by Ralph & Russo, earrings by Neil Lane, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

Photo: Taylor Hill/Getty

Simple, but gorgeous. Love the pops of bright red, with the matching lips and nails. The styling is excellent overall – it helps bring what could have been a basic dress to a higher level.

gown by Michael Cinco

Photo: Steve Granitz/WireImage

The hair’s a tad too country-singer for my taste, but the gown is an absolute delight.

gown by Giambattista Valli

Photo: David Crotty/Getty

I think the gold embellishments are at odds with the lavender floral print. But the print itself is divine, and I adore the delicate draping of those sleeves.

gown by Brock Collection, jewelry by Piaget, purse by Tyler Ellis

Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty

It’s a little undead-bride, but I think I actually love that about it. The problem is really whatever’s happening right above the peplum, with that extra lump of fabric and the trim under the bustline. I just… don’t know what I’m looking at, and it’s unsettling.

gown by Georges Chakra, shoes by Chloe Gosselin

Photo: Steve Granitz/WireImage

The styling is all a little dated – the updo and the platforms don’t feel fresh, and a pop of color on the lip would have helped. But the dress itself is stunning, if maybe a little bit much for this venue.

gown by Prada

Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty

Great color; still debating whether the embellishments are a necessary detail or a strangely fussy bib.

gown by Rasario, jewelry by Forevermark, shoes by Sophia Webster

Photo: Steve Granitz/WireImage

Everything was breathtaking until I scrolled down to the hemline. That not-quite-midi, not-quite-full-length situation is killing me, especially with those shoes. YOU WERE DOING SO WELL, RORY.

gown by Galia Lahav

Photo: Steve Granitz/WireImage

That color is heavenly on her.

gown by Chanel

Photo: Steve Granitz/WireImage

Is it a dress? Is it pants? Is it a circus tent? Is it a real, live zebra? NOBODY KNOWS!


dress by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Gianvito Rossi

Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty

Sleek and chic, if a little underwhelming. Cute that she shares a wardrobe with…

dress by Prada, shoes by Roger Vivier

Photo: Steve Granitz/WireImage

The cut’s a little boxy, and the hairy shoes are bothering me.

dress by Ronald van der Kemp

Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty

There’s nothing wrong with it, per se. It just doesn’t feel like awards show fashion, even for a third-tier awards show that nobody actually cares about but I’m still blogging about because the Golden Globes only had black dresses which was for a good cause but also REALLY HARD TO BLOG ABOUT BECAUSE IT WAS ALL BLACK DRESSES and so here we are. Uh, what was I talking about?


Photo: Steve Granitz/WireImage

The silhouette doesn’t make a lot of sense to me, and the styling isn’t helping.

gown by Valentino, jewelry by Fred Leighton, shoes by René Caovilla

Photo: Steve Granitz/WireImage

This is ridiculous and honestly, a little terrifying.

gown by Fendi

Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty

I get what she was going for, but no.

gown by Giorgio Armani

Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty

Emma, I’m sorry I can’t write about the elegant minimalism of your gown because of the fact that you’re wearing A FUCKING BROOM ON YOUR FOREHEAD, SERIOUSLY GIRL, WHAT IS GOING ON UP THERE, DO YOU NEED HELP, BLINK TWICE IF WE SHOULD RESCUE YOU.

Worst Dressed: HALEY BENNETT
dress by Chloé

Photo: Steve Granitz/WireImage

I reject all of this.

© Democracy Diva, 2018.
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One response to 2018 Critics’ Choice Awards, Part 1

  1. Couldn’t disagree more about Jolie’s dress. For one: What is it with her and furry trims? And two: This particular one is so tight around her arms, I doubt that she could even lift them. Combined with the white it looks like she is wearing a straight-jacket. And as a woman, I reject the notion of having to wear anything remotely uncomfortable just for the sake of fashion, but especially the idea that putting yourself in bondage is in any way elegant.

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