Please, no loud noises or sudden movements. These stars have all suffered head injuries that caused them to believe they are attending the Oscars. They think they look amazing – and they would, on any other red carpet. But friends, the Met Gala is not the goddamn Oscars. (Though this year’s theme was a little more traditional-red-carpet friendly than previous years, I still can’t bring myself to put anyone in the Best Dressed post who didn’t really commit to the costume.)
Our long national nightmare is over* – THE DIVA RETURNS!
*JK, Trump is still president.
Farewell, Cannes 2017! We hardly knew ye, and yet ye also lasted for like eight thousand years.
Cannes premieres aren’t over until we’ve had our say.
Welcome to the opening ceremonies of Cannes 2017, judgmental assholes!
A tribute to those who attempted the theme, took a leap of faith, and failed spectacularly.
This batch of Met Gala lewks is brought to you by the celebrities who tried, and almost succeeded!
Welcome back, my dears!
Welcome to the SAG Awards, divas! I swear, they’re more glamorous than the name implies.
Yes, I am aware that the Emmys were
a month ago twenty-six infinitely fatiguing news cycles ago. But since everyone I know has felt like they’re having a low-grade panic attack for the past week straight, don’t we deserve a little bit of mindless frivolity?