Welcome back, my dears!
Best Dressed: EMMA STONE
gown by Alexander McQueen, jewelry by Tiffany & Co.
Emma Stone is gunning hard for that March Fabness championship ring. That, or she’s trying to win an Oscar. Probably the former. If it means more weird and wonderful gowns like this one, I’m on board. Conceptually, wearing a velvet Victorian robe over lingerie doesn’t sound like… well, anything. And yet, she makes it work.
Runner-Up: MAHERSHALA ALI
Honorable Mention: NATHALIE EMMANUEL
dress by J. Mendel, shoes by Alexander White
YAAAAAS MISSANDEI. The length is a little bit weird, but this dress is just perfect on her. Double points for a strange print/texture that lesser women would be too afraid to wear.
gown by Naeem Khan, purse by Onna Ehrlich
OBSESSED with this dress. You know I’m a sucker for an unexpected pattern/color combo at the major red carpet events, where too many people tend to play it safe. But then I googled Yara to figure out who she was and discovered she was born IN THE YEAR 2000. And now I’m too busy having an existential crisis to care about her awesome dress.
gown by Louis Vuitton
You will never convince me that a choker-scarf is an acceptable awards show accessory. But I’m willing to overlook it in favor of her drag queen circus tent gown, which I adore.
gown by Vera Wang, jewelry by Nirav Modi
Sarah looks like she wants to fuck or kill whoever is taking this photo. I’m here for it. Simple outfit, with a small nation’s GDP worth of jewels – it’s hard to go wrong with that recipe.
gown by Valentino
Gorgeous gown, though I think it might be wearing her. The hair and makeup are too casual for a dress serving this much drama.
gown by Zac Posen
Pretty! Wish she’d worn the hair up, because one of the best things about this dress is the neckline and not-quite-off shoulders. But I dig the paisley print and the exaggerated hips.
gown by Charlie Brear
Awww. She’s an absolute doll, but the lipstick ages her. Still, she looks so tall and elegant it kind of makes me proud, which is condescending because we’ve never met and she’s way more successful than I am.
suit by Prada, shoes by Bruno Magli
Cute. Boring, but cute.
gown by Christopher Kane
Lady Edith can never get it quite right, can she? I’m okay with the hipster-chic dress, but that hair is giving me agita.
jumpsuit by Vivienne Westwood
She’s seven thousand feet tall and fabulous as fuck, so for a little while, Brienne of Tarth had me convinced I actually liked this outfit. But that slouchy sequined pant tapered to the ankle booties looks absolutely ridiculous anywhere except a Michael Jackson video.
gown by Valentino, jewelry by Fred Leighton
Honestly, the fact that Meryl isn’t wearing a cardboard box that says “go fuck yourself and hand me my trophy” is amazing to me.
gown by Wai Ming, jewelry by Forevermark, purse by Judith Leiber
I think with better styling and a way better fit, this could have been a contender. But as is, she looks like she’s playing dress-up in her mother’s closet.
gown by Michael Kors
Amanda Peet constantly look like someone just poisoned her. Is she okay? Can someone get this woman a bezoar stone?
gown by Vivienne Westwood
Am I just grumpy because it’s Monday, or is this completely forgettable?
gown by Marchesa
What’s that thing around her neck? Does it contain the stolen voice of a mermaid princess? I don’t understand anything about this.
TARAJI P. HENSON
gown by Reem Acra, jewelry by Nirov Modi
Oof. That combination of “baby’s first fancy dress” and “here are my tits!” makes me very uncomfortable.
Worst Dressed: DANIELLE BROOKS
top and pants by Christian Siriano
Taking risks? Wearing pants on the red carpet? You KNOW these things are right up my alley, dear readers. But this? No. I adore you, Danielle, but no.