Welcome back, dear readers.
Welcome to the Tony Awards, theater kweens!
You’d think a fashion awards show would be peak red carpet, featuring better and more daring lewks than your average awards show.
Every con has its pros. And every pro has a bedazzled pantsuit.
Every year, like clockwork, somewhere between a dozen and a score models take to the Met Gala in dresses that can only be described as UNDERWHELMING. They may be on theme, or they may not; they may be pretty, or they may not. But they all make me roll my eyes to some degree.
Please, no loud noises or sudden movements. These stars have all suffered head injuries that caused them to believe they are attending the Oscars. They think they look amazing – and they would, on any other red carpet. But friends, the Met Gala is not the goddamn Oscars. (Though this year’s theme was a little more traditional-red-carpet friendly than previous years, I still can’t bring myself to put anyone in the Best Dressed post who didn’t really commit to the costume.)
What, you thought we were done?
Let’s finish this damn thing.
Your favorite segment is back and better than ever.
Believe it or not, the Golden Globes are not the only awards show in existence! The stars got a week off to exfoliate, and now they’re back on their bullshit – and more importantly, I’m back on mine.