What, you thought we were done?
Best Dressed: JANELLE MONAE
suit by Christian Siriano
We, as a nation, do not deserve Janelle Monae. We have done nothing worthy of her unbeatable pantsuits, her flawless accessorizing, the sheer joy and motherfucking ART she brings to the red carpet. God bless this magical creature.
Runner-Up: GAL GADOT
gown by Armani Privé, jewelry by Tiffany & Co.
It’s hard to get excited about anything else after Janelle set the bar so absurdly high, but Gal looked fantastic at both the Oscars proper and the after-parties. And that’s a lot more rare than you might expect.
Honorable Mention: JOAN SMALLS
gown by Roberto Cavalli, jewelry by John Hardy
It’s not hard to look amazing when you’re a model, but this dress deserves some extra praise. It’s funky yet formal, interesting yet not busy, glam yet cool. A tough line to walk, but she walks it like it’s a goddamn runway.
MARY J. BLIGE
gown by Vera Wang, purse by Jimmy Choo
Obsessed with this dress on her, especially the embellishments below the knee. Hate the grandmother-of-the-bride purse, though.
gown by Michael Kors
These days, Zendaya’s one of my favorite fashionistas. And this classic-with-a-twist is pretty strong evidence in her favor. Love the way those sparkly dots continue in the skirt, and the curvy hemline where the tulle meets the rest of the dress? Perfection.
gown by Alexander McQueen, jewelry by Chopard
Great color, gorgeous fit, awesome earrings, but weak on the hair and makeup. Also, it definitely took me until this moment to realize there are random-ass birds on that dress.
gown by Chanel
The sheer dress over a minidress is a tired trend, but the straps and the general delicate beauty of this make it hard for me to care. Also, that purse is divine, and I want it immediately. I don’t care if I don’t have a mega-event to wear it to. I’ll take it to the fucking bagel store.
suit by Teresa Helbig, jewelry by Jared Lehr, purse by Kilian, shoes by Le Silla
A multicolor woven suit? Someone’s been reading my dream journal!
gown by Gabriela Hearst, jewelry by Messika
Minimalism done right. The styling is absolutely perfect.
LESLIE BIBB and SAM ROCKWELL
Sam Rockwell looks like a trashy nightclub owner, but he won an Oscar, so he gets to look ridiculous. Leslie is divine, though I always find it absurd when red carpet stars refuse to use their sleeves. Maybe it’s my bad posture, 5’0″ frame, and general clumsiness, but how do they all manage to keep those jackets from falling off?
gown by Roberto Cavalli, jewelry by Forevermark
It’s not the first cut-out sparkly strappy gown I’ve seen this year, and it’s not the fiftieth, either. But Olivia makes this look dangerously good.
gown by Gucci
This has all the intrigue of her look from the Oscars proper, with somewhat less hideousness. I still don’t think this totally works, but I get what she was going for.
gown by Christian Siriano
A gorgeous gown, but I would’ve given it to Helen Mirren. Even Meryl, if she felt like really stepping out of her box.
ensembles by Stella McCartney
I have a soft spot for Jewish sisters wearing coordinating outfits. It takes me back to early 90s photos of my sister and I wearing matching Hannukah sweaters. Yup, that’s exactly the same as three celebrities in Stella McCartney at the Vanity Fair Oscars party.
dress by Saint Laurent, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, shoes by Sophia Webster
I appreciate the sense of humor behind this, but no.
JOE MANGANIELLO and SOFIA VERGARA
gown by Ralph & Russo, earrings by Lorraine Schwartz
She always looks the same. The cape is nice, I guess.
gown by Atelier Versace
Ugh, who cares.
SARAH PAULSON and HOLLAND TAYLOR
Sarah’s gown by Marc Jacobs
Holland’s suit by Christian Siriano
Holland looks incredible, but Sarah’s terrible styling is ruining everything. Hair, makeup, gloves, purse – they’re all wrong.
gown by Giambattista Valli, shoes by Christian Louboutin
It’s always a little uncomfortable when someone who wasn’t at the Oscars tries way too hard at the after-party. And this stupid fucking train is definitely trying too hard.
gown by Oscar de la Renta, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Great necklace, killer shoes, boring dress.
gown by Celia Kritharioti
Absolutely not. As if the bow wasn’t tacky enough – the matching accessories? How dare you.
gown by Ralph & Russo
This is stupid.
gown by Georges Hobeika, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, shoes by Rene Caovilla
This is somehow even more stupid.
Worst Dressed: MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ
We found the emo girl at the saloon! (Seriously, this trend needs to die already.)