Welcome to the SAG Awards, divas! I swear, they’re more glamorous than the name implies. 

Best Dressed: EMILY BLUNT
gown by Roberto Cavalli, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, purse by Lee Savage

Perfect, flawless, everybody go home. This is the reason one of my saddest life goals is to one day play Emily Blunt’s character in a community theater production of the soon-to-be Devil Wears Prada musical. IT’S BECAUSE EMILY BLUNT IS AMAZING, YOU GUYS.

Runner-Up: RAMI MALEK
suit by Christian Dior

DEAR ALL OTHER MEN IN HOLLYWOOD: GET ON THIS FUCKING LEVEL.

Honorable Mention: NATALIA DYER
gown by Miu Miu

Look into the doe eyes of Nancy from Stranger Things, for they are themselves a portal to the Upside Down. Also: styling is A+ and the dress is gorgeous, though maybe a tiny bit too big on her.

KIRSTEN DUNST
gown by Christian Dior, jewelry by Fred Leighton

Lovely, even if she does look a bit like an uncommonly formal Bratz doll.

BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD
gown by Dress the Population, jewelry by Irene Neuwirth

I am ALL ABOUT Bryce in this ruby gown, but the styling isn’t quite right. The necklace could have worked, but that orangey-red lipstick throws off all the colors here.

FINN WOLFHARD, CALEB MCLAUGHLIN, NOAH SCHNAPP, and GATEN MATARAZZO
Finn’s tuxedo by Topman
Noah’s tuxedo by Mango, shirt by Dolce & Gabbana
Gaten’s tuxedo by J. Crew

These kids continue to be better-dressed than most men twice their ages.

MILLIE BOBBIE BROWN
gown by Giorgio Armani, headband by Jennifer Behr

And Millie Bobbie Brown is adorable all the time, even when her lace cap-sleeved dress is inexplicably tied together with some rope.

RYAN GOSLING
tuxedo by Gucci

Why bother writing anything here? It’s not like you’re ever going to take your eyes off Ryan Gosling.

TERESA PALMER
gown by Valentino

I like the idea of this gown, but it just seems like it weighs 80 pounds and Teresa is barely managing to hold herself upright. Cool earring, though!

VIOLA DAVIS
gown by Vivienne Westwood, purse by Tyler Ellis

I don’t love the fit, but this woman is straight-up GLOWING.

JAMES MARSDEN
tuxedo by Valentino, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Yummy.

JULIE BOWEN
gown by J. Mendel, jewelry by Randall Scott, purse by Tyler Ellis

Haven’t we exhausted every possible incarnation of this dress already? It’s not bad, it just makes me need a nap.

FELICITY HUFFMAN
gown by Antonio Grimaldi, jewelry by Martin Katz

The striped pattern was an interesting idea, but the way the fabric wrinkles destroys the whole aesthetic. She just looks like she’s covered in spider veins.

JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS
gown by Lela Rose, jewelry by Fred Leighton

Predictable but pretty. I continue to be underwhelmed by the center-parted straight hairdos, at least at this formal of an event.

TRACEE ELLIS ROSS
gown by Ulyana Sergeenko

Jewelry is phenomenal. Everything else is fine but forgettable.

BRIE LARSON
gown by Jason Wu, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Alright, ladies. This is the third time I’ve seen a strangely askew gown in as many weeks, so it’s clearly time for a chat. There’s a difference between an asymmetrical dress and an optical illusion that makes me think one of your tits is making a run for it. Also, Brie’s hair makes me sad.

ANNA CHLUMSKY
gown by Elizabeth Kennedy, jewelry by Forevermark, purse by Tyler Ellis

There’s also a difference between ruching and being ribbed for her pleasure.

GRETCHEN MOL
gown by J. Mendel, purse by Judith Leiber

Really, with the giant pendant necklace? Why?

SOPHIA BUSH
gown by Marchesa

Spoiler alert: conjunctivitis is never in style. Not even if you’re Bob Costas.

Worst Dressed: NAOMIE HARRIS
jumpsuit by Lanvin, jewelry by Tiffany & Co., purse by Tyler Ellis, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Naomie is HUGELY fantastic on the red carpet, which is why this upsets me so much. She rarely makes a misstep, yet somehow she agreed to wear this disco clown lingerie. Nothing makes sense anymore.

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© Democracy Diva, 2017.
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