Our long national nightmare is over* – THE DIVA RETURNS!
*JK, Trump is still president.
Best Dressed: ZOE KRAVITZ
gown by Christian Dior
RAINBOW OMBRE FRINGEY FEATHERS is:
a) my drag name
b) the title of Lady Gaga’s next album
c) a red carpet trend I could did not anticipate loving, and yet I LOVE
d) all of the above
Choose your answer wisely.
Runner-Up: MILLIE BOBBY BROWN
dress and shoes by Calvin Klein
The dress is ballerina perfection. The black nails and lack of jewelry make it age-appropriate, as it’s hard to see a thirteen-year-old dripping in diamonds and not think she’s playing dress-up in her grandma’s costume jewelry. And the SHOES! The texture, the kitten heel, the ankle strap – funky and fun, and they add so much personality to this look. Now that Kiernan Shipka has aged out of the bracket, I am grateful to the red carpet goddesses for giving us a new tween fashion icon.
Honorable Mention: LESLIE JONES
gown by Christian Siriano
Remember how Leslie Jones single-handedly made Fashion Week cool again by actually expressing emotion in the front row of the Christian Siriano show? (Seriously, watch the vid, it’s SO JOYOUS.) Looks like Mr. Siriano paid her back in kind, with this show-stopper of a gown. He’s the queen of dressing any and all celebs over a size two, and long may he reign, because this is EVERYTHING. The SNL nominees are never at the top of the fashion pack at the Emmys, but Leslie’s out to change that. This is classy and sexy and interesting and glamorous and the hair and makeup are on point. A black sparkly gown can be extremely basic, but this is such an excellent spin on the trend.
jumpsuit by Oscar de la Renta, jewelry by Harry Winston, shoes by Christian Louboutin
I’m always here for pants on the red carpet; I am similarly here for those spectacular earrings. The cape-sleeve isn’t my favorite trend, but I’ll accept it, because the overall lewk is damn good.
gown by Carolina Herrera, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, purse by Lee Savage
I don’t even know if this actually has a gradient into a darker shade of gunmetal, or if that’s just how the camera flashes are hitting this dress, but I’m on board either way. Sarah’s never seen a risky dress she didn’t want to wear, and even when it’s not perfect, that makes her so much more fun to watch than 90% of the celebrities on the red carpet.
MUTHA HAS ARRIVED.
gown by Gucci, jewelry by Neil Lane
Pushing seventy is the new pushing thirty, y’all. Bow down.
DWYANE WADE and GABRIELLE UNION
suit by Valentino; gown by Zuhair Murad, necklace by Buccellati
Everyone dressed weirdly heavily for late summer in Los Angeles. But I’m a fan of wintery realness, so I’ll just assume all of Hollywood was tired of sweating and trying to make autumn happen by dressing the part. Digging Gabrielle’s capelet and the diamond collar.
WILLIAM H. MACY and FELICITY HUFFMAN
gown by Tony Ward
I think it was Stephen Colbert who dubbed them “Filliam H. Muffman,” and I will think about that and giggle every time I see them. Also, that gown is magnificent.
gown by Elie Saab, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz
Thumbs up for the color, the texture, the belt, and the emerald earrings. That pop of green is a weird and fantastic choice. This is the most satisfied I’ve been with Lea Michele’s outfit in several years.
Fun and festive, but feels better for an after-party than the awards show itself.
gown by Sally LaPointe
Could not love the hair and makeup more. Not sold on the two-piece dress. That distracting line across the center throws off the proportions.
gown by Vera Wang
She’s beyond adorable, but the top of this dress had one too many design elements. Asymmetrical is fun, but a midi-sleeve with a cold shoulder AND a strap AND a cold-shoulder long sleeve AND those feathers? It’s just a lot to look at.
gown by Marc Jacobs, jewelry by Sylva & Cie
That hair is tragic, and the dress desperately needs to be hemmed. But the color and embellishments are lovely on her.
gown by Armani Privé, jewelry by Forevermark
I think the funniest thing about this photo is that Alexis actually won her Emmy at the Creative Arts Emmys last week. Like, did she have to shlep it back onto the Emmys red carpet? Did she keep it under her seat during the ceremony? Who did she trust to hold it while she was in the bathroom? I am so tickled by this, you guys. I’m thrilled she won for her incredible work on Handmaid’s Tale, but it does seem like a true injustice that Rory Gilmore has an Emmy while Lauren Graham and the inimitable Kelly Bishop do not. Anyway, Alexis looks boring but pretty, which is on-brand for her.
gown by Jason Wu
Nice dress in a sad color. There’s just a lack of imagination here that bums me out.
gown by Naeem Khan
The fit is all off, and the styling isn’t much better. The gorgeous Laverne usually pays much more attention to detail than this, so I’m a wee bit disappointed.
gown by Badgley Mischka, purse by Jimmy Choo
Sharp but unremarkable.
gown by Marchesa, jewelry by Forevermark, shoes by Aldo
Honestly, I just don’t like her as a person and will therefore hate anything she wears. I might be biased, but at least I’m transparent about my biases. Also she looks like she’s sprouting new body parts and it’s making me upset.
gown by Galia Lahav, earrings by Dvani
Love the earrings; hate pretty much everything else about this.
gown by Gucci
Real thing that happened: Rachel Bloom dares to have breasts, and thus had to buy this Gucci gown off the rack because Gucci doesn’t let busty chicks get free gowns, I guess. That is sad and stupid, just like this dress. I hope she links up with Christian Siriano ASAP, who will make her look like the GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE that she is. Seriously, Rachel Bloom is one of the most talented weirdos in the universe, and I love her dearly, and she deserves the true red carpet treatment.
Worst Dressed: ARIEL WINTER
gown by Steven Khalil, shoes by Stuart Weitzman
No, sweetie. No.
Respond to 2017 Emmy Awards, Part 1