Welcome back, you delightful bitches! 

Best Dressed: EVAN RACHEL WOOD
suit by Jeremy Scott for Moschino, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by Salvatore Ferragamo

What can I say? I am powerless before Her Grace Evan Rachel of House Wood, Slayer of Suits, Breaker of Bullshit Gender-Essentialist Red Carpet Norms, and Mother of Dragons.

Runner-Up: TESSA THOMPSON
gown by Rosie Assoulin, jewelry by John Hardy, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

She’s giving you Rainbow Brite realness, and against all odds, it is WORKING.

Honorable Mention: PRIYANKA CHOPRA
gown by Balmain, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz

Glam with a pinch of originality. And the styling is top-notch.

FINN WOLFHARD, NOAH SCHNAPP, GATEN MATARAZZO, and CALEB MCLAUGHLIN
Finn’s tuxedo by Prada, Noah’s jacket by Balmain, Gaten’s suit by Ted Baker, Caleb’s tuxedo by Garçon

These boys know how to DRESS. And I am beyond fucking ready for October and Stranger Things Season 2 and the weather in DC to stop being such a hot swampy mess.

DEBRA MESSING
gown by Romona Keveza

Serving liquid nylon Melisandre of Asshai realness. It might be a tad too heavy for her, but I love her in all that crimson.

LAURA DERN
gown by Proenza Schouler

The cut-outs are confusing, but the dress is cool and Laura Dern is a national treasure.

YARA SHAHIDI
gown, purse, and shoes by Prada

Beautiful, but a tad underwhelming.

JUDITH LIGHT
gown by Christian Siriano

Go on, Shelley Pfefferman, give us that Angelina leg and that blue ACLU ribbon! Guys, I adore Judith Light. She is my patronus.

ALLISON JANNEY
gown by Tony Ward, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz

Pretty, if inching slightly too far towards bridal.

ELISABETH MOSS
dress by Prabal Gurung, purse by Christian Louboutin, shoes by Olgana Paris

I mean, it’s nice and all, but what a disappointment. Elisabeth, you KNEW you were taking home that award, girl! Dress like a star!

GINA RODRIGUEZ
gown by Naeem Khan, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

The proportions are way off. And I wanted to hate on that weird flower she’s wearing in her hair, until I realized that’s actually the Emmys logo behind her. #oops

RASHIDA JONES
gown by J. Mendel, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz

Well, she tried.

MANDY MOORE
gown by Carolina Herrera, jewelry by Jennifer Myer

This is very dumb.

KERI RUSSELL
gown by J. Mendel

I probably could have loved this with better styling, but it’s just so depressing.

JAIMIE ALEXANDER
gown by Naeem Khan, jewelry by Eva Fehren, shoes by Schutz

Jessica Lange wore it better.

SHAILENE WOODLEY
gown by Ralph Lauren, jewelry by Alexis Bittar

If she’s not going to put in any effort, why should I?

ROBIN WRIGHT
gown by Mugler

This is terrible. Claire Underwood would NEVER.

PADMA LAKSHMI
gown by Christian Siriano

Ladies and gentlement, welcome to the 2004 Emmy Awards!

JESSICA BIEL
gown by Ralph & Russo, jewelry by Forevermark, purse by Judith Leiber

BE LESS BORING.

SOFIA VERGARA
gown by Mark Zunino, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz

She is exhausting.

Worst Dressed: HEIDI KLUM
gown by Dundas, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, purse by Atelier Swarovski by Fiona Kotur, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

That is so many bracelets. Like, SO many bracelets. Enough that all of the other Emmys attendees better be checking their wrists and making sure nothing’s missing. Enough that our planet may descend into a bracelet shortage that will bring about nuclear war and nothing will be left except Heidi Klum, in a spaceship filled with 35 million bracelets.

It’s too many bracelets.

—
© Democracy Diva, 2017.
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