Welcome back, you delightful bitches!
Best Dressed: EVAN RACHEL WOOD
suit by Jeremy Scott for Moschino, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by Salvatore Ferragamo
What can I say? I am powerless before Her Grace Evan Rachel of House Wood, Slayer of Suits, Breaker of Bullshit Gender-Essentialist Red Carpet Norms, and Mother of Dragons.
Runner-Up: TESSA THOMPSON
gown by Rosie Assoulin, jewelry by John Hardy, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti
She’s giving you Rainbow Brite realness, and against all odds, it is WORKING.
Honorable Mention: PRIYANKA CHOPRA
gown by Balmain, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz
Glam with a pinch of originality. And the styling is top-notch.
FINN WOLFHARD, NOAH SCHNAPP, GATEN MATARAZZO, and CALEB MCLAUGHLIN
Finn’s tuxedo by Prada, Noah’s jacket by Balmain, Gaten’s suit by Ted Baker, Caleb’s tuxedo by Garçon
These boys know how to DRESS. And I am beyond fucking ready for October and Stranger Things Season 2 and the weather in DC to stop being such a hot swampy mess.
gown by Romona Keveza
Serving liquid nylon Melisandre of Asshai realness. It might be a tad too heavy for her, but I love her in all that crimson.
gown by Proenza Schouler
The cut-outs are confusing, but the dress is cool and Laura Dern is a national treasure.
gown, purse, and shoes by Prada
Beautiful, but a tad underwhelming.
gown by Christian Siriano
Go on, Shelley Pfefferman, give us that Angelina leg and that blue ACLU ribbon! Guys, I adore Judith Light. She is my patronus.
gown by Tony Ward, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz
Pretty, if inching slightly too far towards bridal.
dress by Prabal Gurung, purse by Christian Louboutin, shoes by Olgana Paris
I mean, it’s nice and all, but what a disappointment. Elisabeth, you KNEW you were taking home that award, girl! Dress like a star!
gown by Naeem Khan, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti
The proportions are way off. And I wanted to hate on that weird flower she’s wearing in her hair, until I realized that’s actually the Emmys logo behind her. #oops
gown by J. Mendel, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz
Well, she tried.
gown by Carolina Herrera, jewelry by Jennifer Myer
This is very dumb.
gown by J. Mendel
I probably could have loved this with better styling, but it’s just so depressing.
gown by Naeem Khan, jewelry by Eva Fehren, shoes by Schutz
Jessica Lange wore it better.
gown by Ralph Lauren, jewelry by Alexis Bittar
If she’s not going to put in any effort, why should I?
gown by Mugler
This is terrible. Claire Underwood would NEVER.
gown by Christian Siriano
Ladies and gentlement, welcome to the 2004 Emmy Awards!
gown by Ralph & Russo, jewelry by Forevermark, purse by Judith Leiber
BE LESS BORING.
gown by Mark Zunino, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz
She is exhausting.
Worst Dressed: HEIDI KLUM
gown by Dundas, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, purse by Atelier Swarovski by Fiona Kotur, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti
That is so many bracelets. Like, SO many bracelets. Enough that all of the other Emmys attendees better be checking their wrists and making sure nothing’s missing. Enough that our planet may descend into a bracelet shortage that will bring about nuclear war and nothing will be left except Heidi Klum, in a spaceship filled with 35 million bracelets.
It’s too many bracelets.