Welcome back to Venice! 

NATALIE PORTMAN at the Jackie premiere
gown by Valentino

The most interestingly gorgeous thing Natalie Portman has worn in three years. I bow down to that laser-cut overlay.

NATALIE PORTMAN at the Planetarium premiere
gown by Christian Dior

This is more par for the course for our girl Natalie. Something monochromatic, Dior, and virtually impossible to pick out of a line-up of 10 other Natalie looks.

NATALIE PORTMAN at the Jackie photocall
gown by Valentino

Oh, come ON. The print doesn’t even line up on either side of the seam across her stomach! That’s like Project Runway 101. No excuse when the designer is goddamn Valentino.

NATALIE PORTMAN at the Planetarium photocall
dress by Red Valentino, shoes by Christian Dior

Democracy Diva: *mouthing words, gesturing to the car next to me to roll down their window*

Other Driver: Sorry, I didn’t hear you, what was that?

Diva: I SAID, THIS DRESS IS FOR THE BIRDS

Other Driver: *silence*

Diva: AMIRITE

SUKI WATERHOUSE at the Bad Batch premiere
gown by Dolce & Gabbana

Even Barbie would blush at this many pink sequins, but I’m on board.

SUKI WATERHOUSE out in Venice
dress by Public School, sunglasses by Fendi

Literally perfect street style. I would wear all of this every day forever.

SUKI WATERHOUSE at the Bad Batch photocall
dress by Fendi

Not all ruffles are dumb. But THESE ruffles? These ruffles are DUMB. It looks like every part of her dress is trying to run away from her at the same time.

SOPHIE TURNER at the Hacksaw Ridge premiere
dress by Yanina Couture, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Sansa Stark, looking like 2013-era Jennifer Lawrence? YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I’M ALL ABOUT THIS.

SOPHIE TURNER at a press conference
blouse and pants by Chloé

Disco pajamas.

DAKOTA FANNING at the Brimstone photocall
dress by Dolce & Gabbana

I’m not sure what’s happening on this dress. A moon, a star, and a scepter tied with a bow? Are those the arms of House Fanning? Whatever. I love the color, and the shoes are awesome.

LILY-ROSE DEPP at the Planetarium premiere
dress by Chanel

If your dad was Johnny Depp and your mom was Vanessa Paradis, you’d be making that face too. I want to rip that white ball of puff off this dress, but I’m all about the shoes.

LILY-ROSE DEPP at the Planetarium photocall
dress by Chanel

You can’t wear the same free pair of shoes with every outfit, Lily. But I’m not sure a different shoe would have saved this dress. It looks like spray-painted astroturf.

NAOMI WATTS at the The Bleeder premiere
gown by Elie Saab

The hair and makeup are strangely sloppy, which is a common theme with Naomi Watts. I think I could like this dress, but the proportions are a nightmare. And the belt was a mistake.

NAOMI WATTS at the The Bleeder party

Okay, it’s not terrible, but I can’t get excited about it either.

EVA HERZIGOVA out in Venice
blouse, pants, and purse by Philosophy di Lorenzo Serafini

Denim on denim is not my scene, and ruffled denim sounds even worse, but she somehow makes this work.

GEMMA ARTERTON at the The Young Pope premiere
gown by Armani, shoes by Jimmy Choo

I’m going to roll my eyes at every sheer sparkly gown on the red carpet until the good lord shows me one that’s actually new and interesting.

GEMMA ARTERTON at the Jaeger-LeCoultre party

Hire a tailor.

TERESA PALMER at the Hacksaw Ridge premiere
gown by Prada

I think “pregnancy brain” is a misogynistic stereotype popularized by sitcoms, to the harm of women everywhere. However, it is also the most plausible explanation for willingly choosing to wear this gown.

ASHLEY GREENE at the In Dubious Battle photocall
jumpsuit by Saloni

I didn’t know Ashley Greene was still a thing! And while I like this shade of wine, I’m not sure why she couldn’t manage to find a pair of pants that actually fit.

ASHLEY GREENE at the In Dubious Battle premiere
gown by Alberta Ferretti

Absolutely not.

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Check back soon, divas. New York Fashion Week, the Toronto Film Festival, and Emmys coverage will be coming your way!

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© Democracy Diva, 2016.
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