Please, no loud noises or sudden movements. These stars have all suffered head injuries that caused them to believe they are attending the Oscars. They think they look amazing – and they would, on any other red carpet. But friends, the Met Gala is not the goddamn Oscars. (Though this year’s theme was a little more traditional-red-carpet friendly than previous years, I still can’t bring myself to put anyone in the Best Dressed post who didn’t really commit to the costume.)
“Basic Bitches at the Met Gala” has become an annual tradition at Democracy Diva Headquarters. Here, that phrase knows no gender – only the brutal, existential torture of seeing extremely wealthy/extremely famous/extremely beautiful people completely waste life’s precious opportunities to be fabulous.
Welcome back to Venice!
It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
Welcome back to Cannes!
Welcome to the south of France, motherfuckers.
Welcome to the 2016 Met Gala!