2015 Grammy Awards, Part 1

Good LORD, do we have some judging to do.
Best DressedRIHANNA
gown by Giambattista Valli

Photo: Larry Busacca/Getty

Love it or hate it, this was the only thing besides Kanye pulling a Kanye that anybody could talk about. Every other music star we can count on to bring the drama – Bey, Miley, Gaga, Katy – wore something sadly underwhelming. No one showed up in a statement-making look except Rihanna. And for that, I congratulate her.

Or maybe I just like it because I wore basically the same thing to my bat mitzvah.

Este’s gown by Chloé
Danielle’s suit and Alana’s jumpsuit by Stella McCartney

Photo: Larry Busacca/Getty

Of all the people to WORK IT OUT on this red carpet, I can’t say I expected the HAIM ladies to blow so many more experienced starlets out of the water. These clothes are tailored FLAWLESSLY, and every outfit is the perfect combination of effort and “who gives a fuck.” I live for a good lady-pant, and there’s no better place to pull one out than the Grammys.

Honorable MentionRITA ORA
gown by Prada

Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty

This has Grammys written all over it, and Rita has never looked like more of a superstar.

suit by Versace

Photo: Christopher Polk/WireImage

Obsessed with this plaid. Less in love with the buttoned-up shirt and scary cult sneakers, but the suit is so good I can’t quite bring myself to care.

suit by Band of Outsiders, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo

Photo: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

More awesome lady-pants. God, that tuxedo jacket is heavenly. And her hair looks particularly Disney-princessy. Ugh, I just want to marry this girl.

Pharrell’s suit by Adidas

Photo: Larry Busacca/Getty

I was skeptical on television, but the fact that Pharrell’s outfit was made of reflective material meant that it was gray on TV and white in photographs, and I kind of love that. And while I hated it that time he wore shorts to the Oscars, I think the Grammys are the right place to whip out those man-calves and show off those fucking fabulous shoes. As for Pharrell’s wife: I’d make fun of her, but she was clearly game to go in on matching outfits with her man, and I for one find that adorable.

gown by Alexandre Vauthier, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

Only ranked this high because, let’s face it, the fashion at this event mostly sucked balls.

gown by Armani Privé

Photo: Christopher Polk/Getty

From the forehead-down, this is everything I could have wanted and more. But those braids… my lord. The hair that launched a thousand memes. I just can’t even look at it without cringing.

tuxedo by Calvin Klein

Photo: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

Is he wearing fishnet slippers? I hope so.

dress by Zuhair Murad, earrings by Sophia Webster

Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty

There’s nothing wrong with this, necessarily, but it’s KATY PERRY. I know this was the World’s Most Somber Grammys, but jeez, were they not even allowed to have fun on the red carpet? This just emphasizes why I found Rihanna’s dress so mind-blowing – so few people seemed to be enjoying themselves in any way until Ri showed up.

gown by Ralph & Russo

Photo: Larry Busacca/Getty

Perfect for the Oscars, but again, she could have had a hell of a lot more fun than this if she’d gone for a print or a color.

dress by Saint Laurent, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Jason Kempin/WireImage

No one cares.

gown by Galia Lahav

Photo: Lester Cohen/WireImage

Fire your makeup artist, Meghan. I’ll take care of hunting down the person who invented the sheer-gown-over-a-mini-dress trend.

gown by Alexandre Vauthier

Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

This is painfully dull, and if there’s anything Miley Cyrus should never be, it’s dull.

gown by Vivienne Westwood

Photo: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

Aggressively hideous, like almost everything Zendaya wears. I’ll give her points for the lipstick and the rings, though. All gorgeous.

gown by Marc Bouwer

Photo: Reuters/Mario Anzuoni/Landov

This has to be on backwards, right? Please, god, tell me it’s on backwards.

suit by Balmain

Photo: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

I don’t actually hate this outfit, I’m just really, really tired of Kanye.

gown by Jean Paul Gaultier

Photo: Christopher Polk/Getty

Cyclops in a drag queen’s bathrobe.

Worst DressedMADONNA
ensemble by Givenchy

Photo: Reuters/Mario Anzuoni

Please excuse Madonna, as she is just stopping by the Grammys on her way to an 18th-century-Spain-themed production of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

© Democracy Diva, 2015.
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3 responses to 2015 Grammy Awards, Part 1

  1. Melbourne on my Mind

    Okay, so Rihanna’s dress reminds me exclusively of those cakes where you shove a doll into a cake. And then I giggle because my mum has a copy of the Kid’s Birthday Cakes cookbook brought out in the 80s by the Australian Women’s Weekly, and the instructions for making one of those cakes include the line “if doll is too tall, trim legs.”

    Also, Gwyneth looks like a very shiny balloon. And the light is hitting her dress in such a way that it kind of makes her look pregnant. Or like she had a huge lunch. Either way, it’s probably not what she was going for…

    • democracydiva – Author

      There is basically no way Gwyneth Paltrow has had a huge lunch (or any other meal) in the last decade. I think she subsides on seaweed and being pretentious.

  2. Vanie

    Gwyneth’s dress looks similar to the orange sequinned Tom Ford jersey worn by Beyonce.

    And Rita Ora’s dress looks downright trashy. Like her hair.
    And I agree, this was such a underplayed/underdressed Grammy. Thank God for Rihanna

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