Alright, dear readers. Hollywood’s biggest night finally comes to a close.

Best Dressed: ELLEN POMPEO
jumpsuit by Azzaro, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Whaaaat? Meredith Grey, of all people? I’ve never known Ellen Pompeo to have a big footprint on the red carpet, but that was before she hit the Oscars party circuit in this divine jumpsuit. Now, I’m reevaluating everything I thought I knew about the universe. Because this is undeniably awesome.

Runner-Up: ALLISON WILLIAMS
gown by Jean-Louis Sabaji, jewelry by Forevermark, shoes by Christian Louboutin

She gets my “most improved” sticker, after her disappointing gown from earlier in the night. I love the weird petaled skirt, and the pared-down styling to let the boldness of the dress do the talking.

Honorable Mention: GRETA GERWIG
gown and purse by Christian Dior, jewelry by Tiffany & Co.

Love. The checkered purse was a perfect choice.

KAREN GILLAN
gown by Ronald van der Kemp, purse by Judith Leiber

I’m here for the sheer weirdness, the pockets, the shape and length of those sleeves, and just everything about the vibe of this dress. The lipstick is wrong, but everything else really pops.

ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY
gown by Ralph & Russo, jewelry by Anita Ko, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

Gorgeous. Wish she’d saved it for Cannes. Something about a sheer cape sleeve and a breezy oceanic color just screams “mega-fancy film festival on the French Riviera” to me.

EMMA WATSON
gown by Ralph Lauren

Props for the Time’s Up tattoo; points deducted for forgetting the apostrophe. Hermione would NEVER. (Don’t worry, the tattoo is temporary.) Anyway, the dress is awesome, but I will never stop hating those bangs.

AVA DUVERNAY
gown by Armani Privé, jewelry by John Hardy

Killing it.

NAOMI CAMPBELL
suit by Alexandre Vauthier, jewelry by Bulgari

Power suit + statement necklace = unbeatable combo.

PARIS JACKSON
gown by Atelier Versace

Objectively, I know I should hate this, but Paris Jackson might be the only woman alive capable of pulling this off. I kind of love that you can’t tell what’s a tattoo and what’s the dress. The shoulder pieces are amazing, and her makeup is incredible. In any case, I’ll take a not-perfectly-executed risk like this one over a boring dress any day of the week.

GABRIELLE UNION
gown by Prada, purse by Tyler Ellis

A tad on the ordinary side, but Gabrielle makes it shine.

OLIVIA MUNN
gown by Andrew Gn, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz

I actually think this dress is really lovely, especially the color, but the hair and makeup are all wrong.

B.J. NOVAK and MINDY KALING
gown by Prabal Gurung, purse by Roger Vivier

I swear, that sparkle-buckle Roger Vivier purse has been on every red carpet for the last decade. I think I was sick of it in like, 2013. And even if it weren’t Hollywood’s most overworn accessory, it wouldn’t really go with this dress.

RASHIDA JONES
gown by Valentino

Hipster-chic, or weird Ambien nightmare?

KENDALL JENNER
dress by Redemption, earrings by Lorraine Schwartz, shoes by Christian Louboutin

I just rolled my eyes so hard, I think they got stuck up there.

EIZA GONZÁLEZ
gown by Schiaparelli

Um… what? And also, why? But most of all – what?!

HALLE BERRY
dress by Zuhair Murad, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

Not right for the venue, and the styling doesn’t work.

JAIME KING
gown by Oscar de la Renta

Those bangs are so terrible, I actually find myself hoping they’re clip-ons, just to spare Jaime some very awkward months of growing them out.

ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO
gown by Ralph & Russo

A model in a sheer bedazzled gown. How revolutionary.

Well, to be fair, if I had that ass, I’d never put it away either.

ANDRA DAY
dress by Nina Ricci, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

She looks like a melted Barbie doll.

ST. VINCENT
romper by Saint Laurent

Weirdly enough, the romper could have actually worked! But unfortunately, St. Vincent appears to be part centaur, and that’s not really working with the rest of this aesthetic.

LEA MICHELE
gown by La Perla, jewelry by Neil Lane, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Again, I was sick of Lea’s extra-plunging, extra-wide, extra-sternum-displaying necklines at least five years ago. There is nothing wrong with a plunging neckline! But the way she stretches these out to be as wide and unflattering and confusing as possible is painful to my eyeballs.

KAT GRAHAM
suit by Ermanno Scervino

It’s rare I hate a suit, but I hate this suit. The shirt underneath is terrible and the embellishments on the sides of the pants are distracting.

Worst Dressed: ZOOEY DESCHANEL

No comment. If she’s not going to bother trying, why should I?

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© Democracy Diva, 2018.
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