Beyonce just released her new video for “Run the World (Girls)” and it involved lions, thighs, minimal underwire support, and a whole lot of couture.

For me, this video can be summed up in a few simple words: BEYONCE GOES GAGA. I know Lady Gaga doesn’t have a monopoly on wearing McQueen, or twelve-inch alien-looking platform shoes, but Beyonce’s looks in this video were way, WAY out of the aesthetic she’s had since her Destiny’s Child days.

Love or hate or love to hate Beyonce, it’s basically undeniable from a fashion standpoint that the bitch wears a whole. Lot. of. UGLY. And unlike most of her peers, she doesn’t drape herself in the ugliest fabrics a designer label has to offer – instead, she let her mother design her tacky-ass costumes and red carpet shimmery mermaid gowns. Not to say Beyonce never wears designer brands, but she’s never shown an appreciation for or interest in couture even close to the way that Gaga has. And as a result of this, the clothing in this video came off more like not-so-cheap Gaga knockoffs rather than couture.

Dress by Alexander McQueen

It’s not a difficult dress to wear by McQueen standards. Beyonce doesn’t look bad in it, and it’s got some tacky elements that are totally her aesthetic (the gold embellishments, the red satin). If Beyonce intended to use this video to show off that she has a little Gaga inside her, I think this look does that well, and subtly.

Shorts by Norma Kamali; shoes by Alexander Wang

I get very nervous when revolutions involve people who don’t wear pants. This is what it would look like if the cast of Rocky Horror joined the military.

Headress

This headdress is a work of art, but Beyonce so cannot pull this off.

Fur vest by Brian Lichtenberg; gold harness by Giuseppe Zanotti

This entire look is absurd and completely unflattering. And I’m already sick of that horrific bleached-blonde weave.

Gown by Givenchy

I love this dress, but it is not Beyonce. And even while walking giant . . . creatures, she doesn’t have the poise to pull it off.

Gown by Jean Paul Gaultier

 That’s a little more leg than I can handle, and the hair is Miss Teen Kentucky 1986, but the bodice is interesting. Still feels Gaga, but not obviously so.

Earrings by Laruicci

FIERCE earrings, and they are the first thing I’ve seen so far that look like Beyonce could actually own them. But the blonde eyebrows are killing me.

Dress by Gareth Pugh

This was my least favorite look of the video. Beyonce, in what feels like a total Bad Romance/McQueen ripoff, slouches and slumps her way across the sand, bringing none of the drama and spark that clothing like this requires.

Jumpsuit by Norma Kamali

 Definitely Beyonce. Just upside-down. And sandy.

Dress by Emilio Pucci

I hate almost every Pucci gown I’ve ever seen, because the aesthetic is just too different from my own, but it’s perfect for Beyonce’s flashy-trashy taste! She looked more at home in this than any other dress of the video. Yes, you could see all kinds of booty and thigh in this, but it’s a great color and a flattering cut, and it doesn’t look like Beyonce stole it from a newer, younger, shinier pop star’s closet.

Leather fingerless gloves

Just needed a close-up of those badass gloves.

Dress by Emilio Pucci

Another Pucci gown, also within Beyonce’s usual style, and actually a much more interesting and beautiful dress in an even more fabulous color. I’m just concerned by how plastic-y her chest looks. I’m scared that this is actually a Barbie doll of Beyonce, and not the real deal.

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© Democracy Diva, 2011.