Beyoncé gave us the greatest holiday present of all time – a new eponymous album with seventeen ridiculously sexy music videos. This holiday season, Democracy Diva’s gift to you is an in-depth analysis of every outfit from every video. You’re welcome.
Pretty Hurts
“Pretty Hurts” introduces us to Beauty Queen Beyoncé. For the record, her socks say “gangsta.” I repeat: her SOCKS. Say “gangsta.” This might be the best fashion decision of the last century, you guys.
top by Dolce & Gabbana
That bedazzled Dolce & Gabbana top looks like it was invented just for Bey. Also, I dare anyone else on the planet to try rocking high-waisted acid-washed jorts without looking like a complete asshole. Sorry, universe – only Bey has that power.
necklace by Erickson Beamon
Skeptical Plastic Surgery Patient Bey is one of my favorite of the nearly infinite number of alter egos our girl adopts throughout these videos. Mostly because that jewelry is PERFECT.
gown by Georges Chakra
A few years ago, I was struggling to come up with the name for a color that was like turquoise, but much darker, and my boyfriend portmanteau-ed it into “darquoise,” because he is brilliant. Anyway, Bey should wear darquoise more often, because clearly, this color is absolutely stunning on her.
bodysuit by We Are Handsome, corset by Dolce & Gabbana
Let’s all pray to the fashion gods that metal workout corsets don’t become a thing.
top and shorts by Norma Kamali
In which Bey’s beautiful body gets judged by androgynous aliens.
Most of the fashion in these videos doesn’t really have a place outside of a pop star’s performance wardrobe, but I’d wear this dress in a heartbeat. Fuck it – I’d wear the bunny ears too.
Yum.
swimsuit by Norma Kamali
All I want for belated Hannukah is a 1950s pin-up style swimsuit.
Ghost
swimsuit by Seafolly
I’m too pale to wear a black swimsuit without looking like a zebra, but I absolutely adore this.
Pensive Bey is another one of my favorite alter egos. This is what she looks like when she’s dreaming up intensely detailed songs and videos for all of us to enjoy by dancing around in our underwear to them. This is a genius at work, bithces.
Haunted
coat, suit, and shoes by Saint Laurent
“Haunted” is probably my favorite video from the album. It’s the creepiest fucking thing in the world, random fashion models make lots of terrifying appearances, and Bey makes me want to kiss her and run away from her all at the same time. Also, that Cruella de Vil coat is TOO AWESOME FOR WORDS.
ensemble by Ulyana Sergeenko, stockings by Soft Paris
Bey’s booty in this video is haunting me. For real. I had a dream about it after I watched this video for the first time. I don’t even know if Bey was there, or if it was just her disembodied booty dancing through the skies.
bra and underwear by Agent Provocateur; cape and crown by Michael Cinco
SO FUCKING FANTASTIC I CAN’T EVEN BEGIN TO HANDLE IT. It would have been positively regal even without the crown (you know, if royals like to lounge around in obscenely expensive lingerie), but the crown was a stroke of genius.
Drunk in Love
swimsuit by Eres, dress by Wendy Nichol, jewelry by Jennifer Fisher
One of the many songs that makes us insanely jealous of Bey and Jay’s sex life. No matter how great the sex you’re having is, I promise you, theirs is better, because it involves vintage swimsuits and completely sheer dresses.
Blow
Roller-Disco Beyoncé is having a pretty good time, but that person all the way on the right is having a way, WAY better time. Look at that face!
Flashdance Beyoncé has possibly the greatest hair of all time.
coat by Versace, leggings by DKNY
Thrift Shop Beyoncé sees Macklemore’s fur fox skin, and raises him a FUCKING TIGER COAT. Oh, and that bicycle is a work of art. And can you spot Bey’s little sister Solange? (She’s the one in the polka dots with the fabulous afro. This is like a way more awesome version of Where’s Waldo.)
Day-Glo Beyoncé makes me want to throw out all my yoga pants and comfy tees, and start jogging around my neighborhood in this get-up. (I live in a very gay-friendly neighborhood, so I bet my neighbors would appreciate the reference.)
bra by Missguided
All these years, I’ve been living a lie, thinking that roller skates are supposed to go on your feet. I clearly could not have been more wrong, as nothing looks as awesome as the way Bey is draping them around her like a scarf.
No Angel
Sporty Beyoncé is surprisingly low-maintenance. Don’t worry – that doesn’t last long.
I’m from New Jersey, so I don’t know much about pumping gas. Is this the preferred outfit for such an activity?
Eskimo Beyoncé has the world’s cutest dog and I want to steal it.
Yoncé
bodysuit by Tom Ford for Yves Saint Laurent
Since Bey is feeling herself up so passionately, you cannot actually tell that this bodysuit has pierced nipples. I repeat: the bodysuit itself has pierced nipples. I have never heard of anything so needlessly weird and yet hilariously awesome. Also, can we all start wearing lace masks? Because that’s kind of a great look.
I really need to buy some new underwear. I clearly haven’t been doing things right, since none of my bras or panties have fringe tassels.
bodysuit by Herve Leger
I’m predisposed to hate everything Herve Leger makes, but this bodysuit is EVERYTHING. At least on Bey. When paired with a series of increasingly ridiculous coats.
Partition
No, Bey is not wearing a leopard print bodysuit. That’s leopard print lighting, projected all over her body. YOU GUYS. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. WHY AREN’T WE ALL WEARING LEOPARD PRINT PROJECTIONS EVERYWHERE WE GO?
Evil Queen from Snow White Beyoncé is another of my favorite alter egos. Also, could my hair look like that every day, please?
corset by Christian Lacroix, mask by Swarovski, gloves by Chanel
Madonna-meets-Rocky Horror Beyoncé is almost too much fierceness for me to even handle. And I don’t like to brag, but I can handle quite a bit of fierceness.
Late Night Streetwalker Beyoncé is the cause of 80% of traffic accidents in America.
Solid Gold Beyoncé knows that seeing just one of her perfect ass is insufficient. So she sits on a mirror so that we can gaze upon the glory of her magnificent behind from two angles at once.
Jealous
coat by Burberry
I want to wear this coat every day for the rest of my life.
ensemble by Soft Paris, jewelry by Eddie Borgo
Punk Ballerina Beyoncé knows that ear cuffs have been all over the red carpet since the Met Gala. But there’s something uniquely beautiful about the juxtaposition of her spiked-and-studded jewelry and her delicate lace outfit.
Coolest Girl at the Hipster Bar that’s also an Arcade Beyoncé requests another round of P.B.R.s, please.
Rocket
If you expect me to come up with something witty to say, I’m sorry, but it’s not going to happen here. I’m just going to stare at how magnificently beautiful she looks in these pictures all day long.
Casual Jammies Beyoncé wants you to know that she reads the paper and drinks coffee and wears boys’ clothes to sleep just like the rest of us. JUST KIDDING, SHE’S NOTHING LIKE THE REST OF US, AND THAT COFFEE IS ACTUALLY MADE OF DIAMONDS.
top by Nobody Jeans
Sly Dishwashing Beyonce wants you to know that while the kitchen is clean, her mind is anything but.
Mine
corset and skirt by Gareth Pugh, head drape by Issey Miyake, cuffs by Maison Rabih Kayrouz
Angelic Beyoncé knows that she could have played Maria in The Sound of Music without even trying. And while playing every other role as well.
dress by Maxime Simoens
Flapper Beyoncé should probably not be attempting a spacewalk in such an unprotected outfit, but her aura of fierceness will likely shield her from the elements.
Beyoncé’s dress is probably on backwards and she does not give a fuck.
XO
Notorious B.I.G. hat by Urban Outfitters, tank by Alexander Wang, bra by Gypsy Warrior, necklace by Erickson Beamon
Coney Island Beyoncé is about to puke all over that roller coaster, but don’t worry. She’s a really pretty puker.
Flawless
shirt by The Kooples, shorts by Guess, belt by Maison Martin Margiela, necklace by Maria Francesca Pope
Grungy Beyoncé woke up like this. You might not be able to sleep in a metal belt in a terrifying dilapidated basement, but don’t worry. Bey can.
Superpower
Camo Beyoncé knows the importance of coloring your hair to match your clothes while rioting against the police. It allows for less detection while also looking cool as shit.
pants by B. Akerlund, shoes by Rodarte, rings by Lynn Ban
Beyoncé’s Underboob: as beautiful and legendary as the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. But bouncier.
Heaven
dress by Chanel
I know I’m Jewish, but whatever church has people dressed like this, I want to go to there.
dress by Dolce & Gabbana
Vintage Italian Film Star Beyoncé is working the shit out of that gigantic hat.
Blue
Sporty Beyoncé returns to dance with some adorable children.
If I could grow up to be anything in the universe, it would be Drag Queen Peacock Beyoncé.
Nothing makes your biological clock start ticking like lots of shots of Bey holding her beautiful baby that looks just like Jay. Seriously, you guys, my uterus was weeping by the end of this video.
Island Vacation Beyoncé can mix eight thousand prints together and still look effortlessly casual.
Grown Woman
Punk Rock Prom Queen Beyoncé is the absolute greatest, from crown to necklace to gloves. I want to LIVE in this photo.
Old School Beyoncé gets silly with Kelly, and it’s basically the happiest thing on earth.
New Wave Space Cowgirl Beyoncé is everything I want to be. I don’t even know what’s happening here, but if it involves those boots, I know I love it.
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Editor’s Note: All photos are screenshots of Beyonce’s videos, taken by the author. Feel free to reuse these photos, but please link to this post if you do so. Happy holidays!
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© Democracy Diva, 2013.
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The Democracy Diva 
Your writing is very clever, and you are thorough. I can’t tell if you’re a Beyonce lover or if this is written tongue and cheek. I think these photos were a labor of love for Beyonce because she LOVES to look at her own photos and LOVES to share them with others as well so everyone can drool when they look at her. She is a narcissist. I think Beyonce can get away with dressing “slutty” because she has the face of a “girl next door,” an angel face. She tends to be a little thick in her thigh area. She dresses and poses to cover this figure flaw. Her mom has always known how to hide her daughter’s flaws. Beyonce puts her arms up over her head a lot to stretch out her tummy area.
There is one reason that I can’ t take Beyonce or Jennifer Lopez (or Madaonna) seriously as a fashionista is that they wear their clothes too tight. My preference is that high fashion, or fashionable clothes in general, hang well, especially garments that are cut on the bias. All bets are off when clothes are so tight that you can bounce a quarter off a woman’s rear.
I don’t think that rock stars who sell sex belong on the cover of Vogue. They have their place but not in high fashion. Madonna tried to marry high fashion with slutdom by writing and performing “Vogue.” I don’t think a woman (especially an entertainer) can put cones on her bra one day and be considered “high fashion” the following day.
Sarah Jessica Parker and Charlize Theron are fashionistas who belong on Vogue. They can sell clothes. They enhance clothes. When I think of fashion, I think of Marlene Dietrich, Kathryn Hepburn.
I’m sitting here, Christmas night, thinking of erasing this, because I’m off your topic, and I hope I’m not offending you. If you’re a big Beyonce fan, I apologize. I think that big stars who enter fashion through the side gate influence fashion more than I like them to. I notice that Fashion Police continues to feature Lady Gaga, Kim K., Madonna, and Jennifer Lopez. These four performers have been crowned “experts” because they’re famous, period. I wish the show spent more time on fashion icons with who were credible to me. Having a big butt doesn’t make a woman deserve a fashion line. But these days, I think they are given one anyway.
I guess I’m older and out of step. Beyonce did a cool thing by putting her music on iTunes. Her voice isn’t bad. The camera loves her, which gives her creative license in a various fields.
What do you think of her personal style?
I think this post was a little bit of both – a labor of love for Beyonce AND a tongue-in-cheek analysis of her. I love that she’s gotten to the point in her career where she doesn’t have to listen to anyone, and can do whatever she wants. I think she has a beautiful voice and I think she is stunningly beautiful. I absolutely agree that she’s an insane narcissist, just like everyone else with that level of fame. I don’t think you can reach that level of superstardom without being very self-obsessed, and I think that that’s okay, as long as you still treat other people with respect. But yes, I would consider this post half-Beyonce-love, half-Beyonce-snark, if that makes any sense at all. 🙂
I think Bey’s “thick” thighs might be my favorite thing about her. I think her curves are incredibly sexy, and I believe it’s important for young women to have an array of body types to look up to, instead of just stick-thin supermodels. I definitely agree that, like many pop stars, everything she wears is at least a size too tight. That’s kind of their M.O., even if you and I don’t like it.
Don’t worry about offending me by disagreeing with me! I like having debates in the comments like this. Fashion Police will feature whoever they think will get them the most viewers. That’s why Kim Kardashian, who I refuse to blog about, is someone they talk about constantly, even though her fashion sense is absolutely awful. Jennifer Lopez isn’t much better. Lady Gaga is crazy, almost nothing she wears makes sense, but at least that’s intentional. Kim and J.Lo THINK they look awesome – at least Gaga knows she looks insane!
Bey’s personal style has improved in the last few years because she has stopped letting her mother dress her. She used to wear her mother’s designs almost exclusively, and they were tacky, beauty-queen-type things. She’s not one of my red carpet favorites, but she has gotten much better in recent years, and I’ve seen some very fabulous street style from her, just great shots of her and Jay-Z strutting down the street in casual but effortlessly fantastic outfits.
I have mixed feelings about Beyonce. It bothers me a little bit–okay, a lot–that our President seems enamored by her and thinks she’s a good example for his little girls. It is her sweet face that gives her a pass because even in her commercials, she dances with her legs spread apart in a very suggestive way. I have no problem with her dancing (although I don’t like her style much), but I don’t think it should be mainstream Super Bowl. I don’t think our little girls should aspire to be someone who is half naked while she performs. I also don’t love her style of singing but that’s another matter. This is a generational thing of bending notes until they can be bent no more and OVERSINGING. The mentors on The Voice teacher their competitors not to do this. Just sing the damn song and make certain inflections. A whole song doesn’t have to be shouted.
I did watch Beyonce’s documentary that she made about herself. Who does that? Oprah is in love with her and can’t believe she’d be that open about herself. I assure you that she is feeding her fans what she wants them to know.
I am troubled by Fashion Police who will say about certain people, “She is so beautiful.” “She can do no wrong.”
These people who are big stars work very hard. Otherwise, they’d be one-hit wonders. At least Beyonce has a great voice. J.Lo’s isn’t good at all and her facial expressions while she dances make me want to toss my cookies. She’s a great actress though. A horrible designer. Please tell me that you saw the green dress that she designed and wore. It had only one sleeve. Everything else was symmetrical. The fabric was awful, and people praised her for that.
For the record: J. Lo. is an excellent dancer and actress. Not a good designer or singer. She is full of herself and good a pretending she’s down to earth. I guess you can be full of yourself and down to earth. J. Lo. should stick to acting. She was a good judge on A.I. except that she could never get onto the show herself.
Beyonce is a good singer. She could be great. I suppose she’s great. Her dancing is okay. I don’t like her choreography. She’s very coordinated. She’s a great songwriter, a great songwriter. She writes songs for women. “Put a Ring on It” and “Who Runs the Word” (not sure of the title).
Lady Gaga is a great musician and singer. Her antics make her look desperate. She embarrasses me for that reason. I’m embarrassed for her. She copies Madonna somewhat.
Madonna is a great songwriter. She’s an okay dancer. Her timing was off in her first videos. Supposedly she had a dance scholarship. It was for six weeks. It didn’t put her through school. Bad actress because she’s too aware of how she looks. She played herself as Even Peron. Her singing isn’t that good. Her ambition got her very far.
Back to Fashion Police. I used to like the show until I was able to see all their fashion on the internet a week or two before they feature it. They don’t show much in their hour. They show the same people over and over, like Kesha. I wouldn’t know who she was but they talk about her every week. Giuliana Rancic has great fashion sense. She designed her own dress for a pageant she hosted, and it was nice. They will say how Sharon Stone can do no wrong.
I will blog about the next Project Runway, and we’ll see how Tim Gunn’s new show goes.
Oh, this is another topic by itself. I’m watching Season 11 of PR. I purchased a streaming version of 9, 10, and 11. I see these designers so differently this time around. I like Viktor in his original season.
I don’t have a problem with Beyonce’s display of sexuality, but I’m admittedly very liberal when it comes to things of that nature. I definitely agree that Bey sometimes tends towards the overblown singing trend, but I actually don’t mind it when she does it. (Unless it’s the national anthem. If you’re not Whitney Houston, you don’t get to overblow the national anthem.)
I love to sing, and therefore am very judgmental about pop stars who don’t have vocal talent. J.Lo is one of those stars I can’t stand for that reason. (Kesha too.) And almost no one who started off their career in the entertainment industry should ever have been given a clothing line, but people will fund anything attached to a famous name because they think it will make them money. Sadly, they’re usually right, but it’s a trend I hate too.
What you said about Fashion Police is word for word how I feel about it! Especially since I started blogging four years ago, I’ve already seen those pictures a dozen times before they discuss them on Fashion Police, so it’s not as enjoyable an experience. I still watch it after some major awards shows, but not because any of them actually know what they’re talking about most of the time. Just because I still have a soft spot for Joan Rivers. I will never understand how or why Kelly Osbourne became a “fashion expert.”
Isn’t Viktor so much more likable during his season? So much less playing for the cameras, and more real designing. Now you understand why I wasn’t ready to give up on him for so long! 🙂
Actually, I didn’t like Whitney’s singing style either. I don’t like vocal aerobics or hand choreography. I loved Whitney in the beginning. I also don’t mind a sexual display. I don’t like women making money from their sexuality. It’s an indirect way of taking money for sex. I’ve noticed that Obama caters to entertainers, period, not just Beyonce. I thought Beyonce committed a faux pas when she sang at the first inauguration. First, she made it know that she wanted to participate. That’s pretty nervy, IMO. Next, she wore a long gown while she sang to the president and his wife dancing, and Michele wore a beautiful dress that was short. Beyonce should have dressed down a bit.
When Kelly Osborne was on Dancing with the Stars she lost all her weight, and she grew up a lot. This was a life-changing experience for her because she didn’t quit when things got very difficult for her. She changed from a punk kid to a young lady before our eyes. After that, things came her way. I agree with her a lot but she constantly says, “She’s perfection.” I just don’t like to see stars idolized the way they do on that show.
I could write several blogs or articles on these PR topics, but the most significant view of mine that has changed is in regard to Anya. I resented her the first time around for winning. I thought that the second place winner should have won (my brain isn’t engaging ATM).
This time I watched and I see what a loving person Anya is. Oh, let me back up for a sec. I’d felt like she’d just won her beauty title, and she’d become a designer on a whim. I also read about a sex tape that was out with Anya in it, and I thought, Oh,swell. She is truly beautiful, but her spirit is even more beautiful. She is always the first person to give to or help someone else. She never cut anyone else down personally. She held herself together when others were jealous (because her sewing skills were limited.) She was very open and honest, like, “Are you angry with me? Have I done something to upset you?”
Other people I’ve liked the second time around have been: Viktor, Daniel, Sweet P., and other secondary characters.
I have nothing bad to say about Anya’s personality, but I think she won based on her exotic beauty and interesting life story rather than her design skills, and I resent that. Project Runway is not and should not be a beauty pageant or a competition for stylists. The contestants are supposed to be able to design and sew, and I don’t think she can. I hated watching her season, but because the producers were so clear from the beginning that they wanted her to win, not because she’s a mean person or anything like that.
Which Daniel are you talking about – Vosovic? He’s one of my all-time favorites in the history of the show. Sweet P. is an absolute angel. She’s one of the rare people on the show that I’d love to grab a cup of coffee with because she just seems like such a sweetheart.
I’m watching the end of season 11. I like Michelle more this time. I didn’t notice her right away last time because she was always on a losing team.
I wonder how much Heidi battles with the other judges to save someone. Michelle went against Nina, period. I believe she knew she was doing it. I absolutely loved her outfit but it wasn’t right for the pages of a magazine. I’ve always thought that Michelle had an advantage over the others by NOT going to Europe. She could catch up on her sleep. Would I want to fly to Europe for a day? No, especially when time is of the essence, but the judges’ behavior was cruel to Michelle. They could have run out and gotten a ticket for her.
I was thinking about Joshua in the above post. I thought he should have won in Anya’s season, although some of his colors were questionable. Both Anya and Uli make the simplest of dresses. What they do seems elementary but they have a keen eye for fabrics.
Joshua can be a bully. There’s no excuse the way he treated people. He talked about Anya within hearing distance, and she could have responded to him and pulled people to her side, and she didn’t do it. She may be used to the envy of others. I love hearing her speak. She is on Tim Gunn’s new show. I’m curious about that.
Joshua was definitely the more talented designer of the two, but what a nasty personality on that one! He was miserable to watch. I understand that these designers are stressed-out and sleep-deprived, and that sometimes they’ll snap, but his bad attitude seemed to stretch beyond that. He just seemed like a bitch!
I’m curious about Tim’s new show too. I’m not going to blog it (at least this season) because I’m taking the bar exam in just under two months and I need to spend more time studying and less time blogging, but I’m definitely going to watch it.
Congrats on all your hard work in getting ready for the Bar Exam.