The end of Round 1 is finally here!
JANELLE MONAE vs. MICHELLE MONAGHAN
Janelle: Aw, sweetie. Save yourself some time and go home.
Michelle: But why?
Janelle: You look lovely, and I’m sure you’re a very nice person, but you have no idea how out of your league you are right now.
Michelle: I guess that outfit is okay for a Star Wars premiere, but…
Janelle: No, sweetheart, you don’t understand. My outfits aren’t “okay.” They are forces of greatness, black holes that devour everything around them.
Michelle: I don’t even know how to respond to that.
Janelle: I don’t wear clothes, Michelle. I wear concepts. I wear thought.
Michelle: You are extremely difficult to talk to, did you know that?
Janelle: I WEAR ART. I WEAR PHILOSOPHY. I WEAR THE UNIVERSE ITSELF.
Michelle: You’re wearing H&M. Calm down.
LADY GAGA vs. ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY
Gaga: Rosie, darling, it’s a pleasure to see you.
Rosie: I’m sorry… what is your name again?
Gaga: Rosie. It’s Gaga. I’m, like, extremely famous.
Rosie: Oh, nice try, ma’am. But I know Gaga. And you are no Gaga. That dress doesn’t look like it’s made of any kind of animal carcass at all!
Gaga: I assure you, animal carcass or no, it is actually me.
Rosie: Nope. You look like a normal human. Definitely not Gaga.
Gaga: I SWEAR, IT’S ME –
Rosie: GAGA! Did you just get here? Oh, it’s so nice to see you again.
Gaga: FUCK OFF, ROSIE, I’VE LITERALLY BEEN HERE THIS WHOLE TIME.
Rosie: My goodness, Gaga. I know you were late getting here, but there’s no need to blame me for your tardiness.
SAOIRSE RONAN vs. KRYSTEN RITTER
Saoirse: Ohmigod. Krysten. I am OBSESSED WITH YOU. I bingewatched the SHIT out of Jessica Jones.
Krysten: I saw Brooklyn three times in theaters! I’m obsessed with you too… um… Sah-our-see?
Saoirse: Try again.
Krysten: Sour rice?
Saoirse: We’re getting further away from it.
Saoirse: Now you’re not even trying to get it right.
Krysten: Oh, I’m just fucking with you. I know it’s ser-sha, rhymes with inertia. You think I don’t listen with bated breath to every word Ryan Gosling says? I am a heterosexual woman, after all.
KATE BOSWORTH vs. CAMILLA BELLE
Kate: Ms. Belle.
Camilla: Ms. Bosworth.
Kate: I can’t believe they’re still letting you on red carpets.
Camilla: Right back atcha, Kate.
Kate: So, what’s keeping you busy these days? Still living off that The Lost World: Jurassic Park money?
Camilla: Oh, right, like you’ve been in a movie since Blue Crush?
Kate: I’ll have you know that I was also in Superman Returns.
Camilla: Yeah, I wouldn’t brag about that if I were you.
Kate: Says the woman best known for 10,000 B.C.
Camilla: At least I know enough not to talk about it.
And that concludes March Fabness 2016: Round 1! Get your votes in on every match-up now – polls on the entire round will close shortly!