March Fabness 2016, Round 1: Versace Bracket

The end of Round 1 is finally here! 

JANELLE MONAE vs. MICHELLE MONAGHAN

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Janelle in Tracy Reese/Vatanika; Michelle in Zac Posen

Janelle: Aw, sweetie. Save yourself some time and go home.

Michelle: But why?

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Janelle in Erevos Aether; Michelle in Bill Blass

Janelle: You look lovely, and I’m sure you’re a very nice person, but you have no idea how out of your league you are right now.

Michelle: I guess that outfit is okay for a Star Wars premiere, but…

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Janelle in Chanel; Michelle in Prabal Gurung

Janelle: No, sweetheart, you don’t understand. My outfits aren’t “okay.” They are forces of greatness, black holes that devour everything around them.

Michelle: I don’t even know how to respond to that.

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Janelle in Tadashi Shoji; Michelle in Prabal Gurung

Janelle: I don’t wear clothes, Michelle. I wear concepts. I wear thought.

Michelle: You are extremely difficult to talk to, did you know that?

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Janelle in H&M; Michelle in Monique Lhuillier

Janelle: I WEAR ART. I WEAR PHILOSOPHY. I WEAR THE UNIVERSE ITSELF.

Michelle: You’re wearing H&M. Calm down.

LADY GAGA vs. ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY

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Gaga in Versace; Rosie in Burberry

Gaga: Rosie, darling, it’s a pleasure to see you.

Rosie: I’m sorry… what is your name again?

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Gaga in Tom Ford; Rosie in Balmain for H&M

Gaga: Rosie. It’s Gaga. I’m, like, extremely famous.

Rosie: Oh, nice try, ma’am. But I know Gaga. And you are no Gaga. That dress doesn’t look like it’s made of any kind of animal carcass at all!

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Gaga in Brandon Maxwell; Rosie in Galvan

Gaga: I assure you, animal carcass or no, it is actually me.

Rosie: Nope. You look like a normal human. Definitely not Gaga.

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Gaga in Marc Jacobs; Rosie in Burberry

Gaga: I SWEAR, IT’S ME –

Rosie: GAGA! Did you just get here? Oh, it’s so nice to see you again.

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Gaga in Balenciaga; Rosie in Versace

Gaga: FUCK OFF, ROSIE, I’VE LITERALLY BEEN HERE THIS WHOLE TIME.

Rosie: My goodness, Gaga. I know you were late getting here, but there’s no need to blame me for your tardiness.

SAOIRSE RONAN vs. KRYSTEN RITTER

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Saoirse in Burberry; Krysten in Mugler

Saoirse: Ohmigod. Krysten. I am OBSESSED WITH YOU. I bingewatched the SHIT out of Jessica Jones.

Krysten: I saw Brooklyn three times in theaters! I’m obsessed with you too… um… Sah-our-see?

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Saoirse in Hilfiger; Jessica in Zuhair Murad

Saoirse: Nope.

Krysten: Say-your-suh?

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Saoirse in Burberry; Krysten in Osman

Saoirse: Try again.

Krysten: Sour rice?

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Saoirse in Saint Laurent; Krysten in Lela Rose

Saoirse: We’re getting further away from it.

Krysten: Shamwow?

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Saoirse in Calvin Klein; Krysten in Zuhair Murad

Saoirse: Now you’re not even trying to get it right.

Krysten: Oh, I’m just fucking with you. I know it’s ser-sha, rhymes with inertia. You think I don’t listen with bated breath to every word Ryan Gosling says? I am a heterosexual woman, after all.

KATE BOSWORTH vs. CAMILLA BELLE

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Kate in Ann Taylor/Christopher Kane; Camilla in Michael Kors

Kate: Ms. Belle.

Camilla: Ms. Bosworth.

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Kate in McQueen; Camilla in Monique Lhuillier

Kate: I can’t believe they’re still letting you on red carpets.

Camilla: Right back atcha, Kate.

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Kate in Giamba; Camilla in David Koma

Kate: So, what’s keeping you busy these days? Still living off that The Lost World: Jurassic Park money?

Camilla: Oh, right, like you’ve been in a movie since Blue Crush?

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Kate in Schiaparelli; Camilla in Ferragamo

Kate: I’ll have you know that I was also in Superman Returns.

Camilla: Yeah, I wouldn’t brag about that if I were you.

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Kate in Dolce & Gabbana; Camilla in Andrew Gn

Kate: Says the woman best known for 10,000 B.C.

Camilla: At least I know enough not to talk about it.

And that concludes March Fabness 2016: Round 1! Get your votes in on every match-up now – polls on the entire round will close shortly!


© Democracy Diva, 2016.
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