March Fabness 2016, Round 2: Chanel vs. Gucci

Round 2 is here! Things are happening! 

DIANE KRUGER vs. MIRANDA KERR

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Diane in Thakoon; Miranda in Bec & Bridge

Diane: It’s almost sad, isn’t it?

Miranda: What’s sad?

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Diane in Michael Kors; Miranda in Tadashi Shoji

Diane: How easy I make this look.

Miranda: Yes, we do make this look quite simple.

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Diane in Hugo Boss; Miranda in Louis Vuitton

Diane: Mmm, no. Not “we.” ME.

Miranda: But… I…

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Diane in Prabal Gurung; Miranda in Louis Vuitton

Diane: It’s very sweet that you think you can compete with me, but you know this is pretty much a slam dunk, right?

Miranda: But I’m just as stylish as you!

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Diane in Valentino; Miranda in Kaufmanfranco

Diane: Very good, darling. It almost sounds like you believe that!

Miranda: You’re mean.

OLIVIA PALERMO vs. LÉA SEYDOUX

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Olivia in Tularosa; Léa in Miu Miu

Olivia: Just so you know, I basically invented the concept of mixing prints. So don’t try and act like you’re such an original.

Léa: … No, you absolutely did not invent that. At all.

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Olivia in Dior; Léa in Miu Miu

Olivia: Well, I also invented the tucked-in-poncho-as-a-blouse, so there.

Léa: You probably shouldn’t brag about that.

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Olivia in Tommy Hilfiger; Léa in Schiaparelli

Olivia: I also invented –

Léa: What, Olivia? What did you invent? Stars? Belts? The color red?

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Olivia in Valentino; Léa in Miu Miu

Olivia: No, I –

Léa: Florals? Did you fucking invent florals?

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Olivia in Delpozo; Léa in Prada

Olivia: Okay, fine, I get it.

Léa: Good, because that was exhausting.

LAVERNE COX vs. EMILY BLUNT

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Laverne in Roland Mouret; Emily in Jonathan Saunders

Laverne: Emily. It is SO magnificent to meet you. I am such a fan.

Emily: Aw, Laverne, that’s so sweet!

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Laverne in Nha Khanh; Emily in Peter Pilotto

Laverne: Can you please tell me every dirty secret you have about what it was like on set with Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada?

Emily: No.

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Laverne in Calvin Klein; Emily in J. Mendel

Laverne: No?

Emily: No.

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Laverne in Marc Bouwer; Emily in Stella McCartney

Laverne: You can’t tell me anything?

Emily: My nondisclosure agreement doesn’t allow me to even acknowledge that Meryl Streep is human.

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Laverne in Marc Bouwer; Emily in Prada

Laverne: Well, that seems overly limiting and possibly unenforceable.

Emily: You’re right. And, by the way, Meryl never wears underwear.

FAN BINGBING vs. ALICIA VIKANDER

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Fan: Is it over yet? Did I win? Can I stop writing all over this wall?

Alicia: Fan. It’s Round Two. Patience, darling.

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Fan in Ralph & Russo; Alicia in Louis Vuitton

Fan: I’m sorry, I just find this all very tedious, and also my feet hurt.

Alicia: Well, of course they do. You’re got platforms the size of dumbbells weighing them down.

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Fan in Dolce & Gabbana; Alicia in Louis Vuitton

Fan: How dare you!

Alicia: Girl, look at your feet. That shit is insane. Barbie‘s feet aren’t even that diagonal.

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Fan in Ralph & Russo; Alicia in Louis Vuitton

Fan: If it makes you feel any better, I’m wearing those hideous sneakers with the individual toes that make everyone look like a cyborg under this gown.

Alicia: That absolutely does not make me feel any better.

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Fan in Marchesa; Alicia in Louis Vuitton

Fan: You are an incredibly difficult person to please, Alicia.

Alicia: Thanks. I get that a lot.


© Democracy Diva, 2016.
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