March Fabness 2018: Sweet 16, Part 2

Welcome back, divas. 

JOURDAN DUNN vs. ELLE FANNING

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Jourdan vs. Elle in Prada

Jourdan: There’s a leg in between your legs.

Elle: Excuse me?

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Jourdan in Mugler vs. Elle in Ganni

Jourdan: Forget it. Say, what are those things on your feet?

Elle: Um… shoes?

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Jourdan in Zeynep Tosun vs. Elle in Rodarte

Jourdan: But they don’t have a heel.

Elle: … And?

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Jourdan vs. Elle in Gucci

Jourdan: I didn’t know they make shoes like that.

Elle: So you’ve never heard of flats?

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Jourdan in H&M vs. Elle in Valentino

Jourdan: Flats! What a cute name.

Elle: I honestly don’t even know how to talk to you.

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Jourdan in Naeem Khan vs. Elle in Dior

Jourdan: I know I’m a supermodel, Elle, but I am still human.

Elle: Not if you’ve never heard of FLATS!

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Jourdan in Elie Saab vs. Elle in Miu Miu

Jourdan: How dare you. I was born with pointed feet like Barbie. I don’t know any other way.

Elle: Wow, that’s… super weird.

MILLIE BOBBY BROWN vs. FAN BINGBING

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Millie in Gucci vs. Fan in Zhang Shuai

Millie: Love the sparkly suit, Fan.

Fan: Thanks, dear.

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Millie in CG vs. Fan in Ralph & Russo

Millie: Is everything alright?

Fan: Sure, sweetheart.

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Millie in Calvin Klein vs. Fan in Elie Saab

Millie: You seem a little down.

Fan: It’s just been a rough few weeks, hasn’t it?

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Millie in Giamba vs. Fan in Valentino

Millie: Oh, sure. The news has gotten everyone worn down.

Fan: Yes. And the robbery, the absolute robbery. No justice.

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Millie in Calvin Klein vs. Fan in Iris van Herpen

Millie: Sorry, which robbery?

Fan: Are you serious? I thought you said you’d seen the news.

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Millie in Rodarte vs. Fan in Christopher Bu

Millie: I must have missed the robbery. Who was robbed?

Fan: SHANGELA!

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Millie in Calvin Klein vs. Fan in Jean Paul Gaultier

Millie: Who?

Fan: If you tell me you don’t watch RuPaul’s Drag Race, I will actually poop myself.

ZENDAYA COLEMAN vs. SONAM KAPOOR

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Zendaya in Michael Kors vs. Sonam in Zoe Champion

Zendaya: Weird. I think I just saw Fan Bingbing poop herself.

Sonam: Pardon me?

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Zendaya in Dolce & Gabbana vs. Sonam in Kojak Studio

Zendaya: Never mind. Are we done here?

Sonam: Are you in a rush or something?

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Zendaya in Ralph Lauren vs. Sonam in Bouguessa

Zendaya: I just don’t see the point in delaying the inevitable.

Sonam: And what, precisely, is the inevitable?

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Zendaya in Schiaparelli vs. Sonam in Ashi Studio

Zendaya: Me destroying you. Obviously

Sonam: Bitch, please.

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Zendaya in Michael Kors vs. Sonam in Atelier Zuhra

Zendaya: Don’t be offended! I’m sure you’re a lovely person.

Sonam: Thanks a lot.

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Zendaya in Giambattista Valli vs. Sonam in Viktor & Rolf

Zendaya: It’s not personal! You’re just one of the many people I need to destroy en route to the final round.

Sonam: That sounds kind of personal to me.

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Zendaya in Dolce & Gabbana vs. Sonam in Elie Saab

Zendaya: Hush, now. Time to let the children vote for me.

Sonam: Good luck with that.

NATALIA DYER vs. LILY COLLINS

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Natalia in Kate Spade vs. Lily in Self-Portrait

Natalia: Do you mind if we do this sitting down, wearing sunglasses? I’m a tad hungover.

Lily: WAKE THE FUCK UP, GIRL!

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Natalia vs. Lily in Chanel

Natalia: Thanks for that. Now my head is screaming louder than that hideous print.

Lily: Bitch, this is Chanel.

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Natalia in Dior vs. Lily in Georges Chakra

Natalia: Is that supposed to impress me?

Lily: Well, it was supposed to shut you up, but I guess that didn’t work.

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Natalia in Tory Burch vs. Lily in Prada

Natalia: You can’t shut up a woman who rocks a three-piece suit.

Lily: Says who?

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Natalia in Erdem vs. Lily in Reem Acra

Natalia: Like, the rules of feminism?

Lily: That doesn’t sound real.

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Natalia in Dior vs. Lily in Valentino

Natalia: Whatever. You look like you’re in a Victorian version of Handmaid’s Tale.

Lily: Um, you have like, Vitruvian space monsters on your dress.

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Natalia in Vera Wang vs. Lily in Giambattista Valli

Natalia: Are we done here?

Lily: God, I hope so.


© Democracy Diva, 2018.
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