Welcome back, divas.
JOURDAN DUNN vs. ELLE FANNING
Jourdan vs. Elle in Prada
Jourdan: There’s a leg in between your legs.
Elle: Excuse me?
Jourdan in Mugler vs. Elle in Ganni
Jourdan: Forget it. Say, what are those things on your feet?
Elle: Um… shoes?
Jourdan in Zeynep Tosun vs. Elle in Rodarte
Jourdan: But they don’t have a heel.
Elle: … And?
Jourdan vs. Elle in Gucci
Jourdan: I didn’t know they make shoes like that.
Elle: So you’ve never heard of flats?
Jourdan in H&M vs. Elle in Valentino
Jourdan: Flats! What a cute name.
Elle: I honestly don’t even know how to talk to you.
Jourdan in Naeem Khan vs. Elle in Dior
Jourdan: I know I’m a supermodel, Elle, but I am still human.
Elle: Not if you’ve never heard of FLATS!
Jourdan in Elie Saab vs. Elle in Miu Miu
Jourdan: How dare you. I was born with pointed feet like Barbie. I don’t know any other way.
Elle: Wow, that’s… super weird.
MILLIE BOBBY BROWN vs. FAN BINGBING
Millie in Gucci vs. Fan in Zhang Shuai
Millie: Love the sparkly suit, Fan.
Fan: Thanks, dear.
Millie in CG vs. Fan in Ralph & Russo
Millie: Is everything alright?
Fan: Sure, sweetheart.
Millie in Calvin Klein vs. Fan in Elie Saab
Millie: You seem a little down.
Fan: It’s just been a rough few weeks, hasn’t it?
Millie in Giamba vs. Fan in Valentino
Millie: Oh, sure. The news has gotten everyone worn down.
Fan: Yes. And the robbery, the absolute robbery. No justice.
Millie in Calvin Klein vs. Fan in Iris van Herpen
Millie: Sorry, which robbery?
Fan: Are you serious? I thought you said you’d seen the news.
Millie in Rodarte vs. Fan in Christopher Bu
Millie: I must have missed the robbery. Who was robbed?
Fan: SHANGELA!
Millie in Calvin Klein vs. Fan in Jean Paul Gaultier
Millie: Who?
Fan: If you tell me you don’t watch RuPaul’s Drag Race, I will actually poop myself.
ZENDAYA COLEMAN vs. SONAM KAPOOR
Zendaya in Michael Kors vs. Sonam in Zoe Champion
Zendaya: Weird. I think I just saw Fan Bingbing poop herself.
Sonam: Pardon me?
Zendaya in Dolce & Gabbana vs. Sonam in Kojak Studio
Zendaya: Never mind. Are we done here?
Sonam: Are you in a rush or something?
Zendaya in Ralph Lauren vs. Sonam in Bouguessa
Zendaya: I just don’t see the point in delaying the inevitable.
Sonam: And what, precisely, is the inevitable?
Zendaya in Schiaparelli vs. Sonam in Ashi Studio
Zendaya: Me destroying you. Obviously
Sonam: Bitch, please.
Zendaya in Michael Kors vs. Sonam in Atelier Zuhra
Zendaya: Don’t be offended! I’m sure you’re a lovely person.
Sonam: Thanks a lot.
Zendaya in Giambattista Valli vs. Sonam in Viktor & Rolf
Zendaya: It’s not personal! You’re just one of the many people I need to destroy en route to the final round.
Sonam: That sounds kind of personal to me.
Zendaya in Dolce & Gabbana vs. Sonam in Elie Saab
Zendaya: Hush, now. Time to let the children vote for me.
Sonam: Good luck with that.
NATALIA DYER vs. LILY COLLINS
Natalia in Kate Spade vs. Lily in Self-Portrait
Natalia: Do you mind if we do this sitting down, wearing sunglasses? I’m a tad hungover.
Lily: WAKE THE FUCK UP, GIRL!
Natalia vs. Lily in Chanel
Natalia: Thanks for that. Now my head is screaming louder than that hideous print.
Lily: Bitch, this is Chanel.
Natalia in Dior vs. Lily in Georges Chakra
Natalia: Is that supposed to impress me?
Lily: Well, it was supposed to shut you up, but I guess that didn’t work.
Natalia in Tory Burch vs. Lily in Prada
Natalia: You can’t shut up a woman who rocks a three-piece suit.
Lily: Says who?
Natalia in Erdem vs. Lily in Reem Acra
Natalia: Like, the rules of feminism?
Lily: That doesn’t sound real.
Natalia in Dior vs. Lily in Valentino
Natalia: Whatever. You look like you’re in a Victorian version of Handmaid’s Tale.
Lily: Um, you have like, Vitruvian space monsters on your dress.
Natalia in Vera Wang vs. Lily in Giambattista Valli
Natalia: Are we done here?
Lily: God, I hope so.
The Democracy Diva 
Respond to March Fabness 2018: Sweet 16, Part 2