The Week in Fashion

Glee Does Comic-Con

 

Heather (Brittany): I’m not loving those bangs; I think her signature Cheerios high ponytail is much more flattering. The outfit is cute enough, if a bit amateurish.

Kevin (Artie): This boy can sing, dance, act, and DRESS. I wish other young actors took the risks that Kevin takes with his wardrobe. The shirt is stunning, the suspenders are adorable, and he looks unique and chic, if a bit over-dressed for Comic-Con. I’m loving it.

Naya (Santana): Can’t go wrong in a cute floral sundress. Effortless and adorable.

Amber (Mercedes): Cute top and sweater, but it’d look a thousand times better without that belt.

Chris (Kurt): He’s a self-professed comic book geek, so I’m glad he’s showing his roots at this event. But I think he could have paired this outfit with something a little more fashion-forward, since he usually dresses incredibly well.

Jenna (Tina): Adorable dress, great hair. And the nude shoes trend is super-hot right now, so kudos for catching on.

Love the Girl, Hate the Dress

 

Like the Democracy Diva, Anna Kendrick loves her some Marchesa. (The starlet donned Marchesa at the 2010 Golden Globes, at the Eclipse LA premiere, at the Up in the Air Toronto premiere, and more.) Unlike the Diva, Ms. Kendrick doesn’t seem to understand that some Marchesa dresses work far better on the runway than they do on the red carpet. This is one of them.

The lopsided bust, which I’m sure would work fabulously on a 6 foot tall, size zero model, is just unfortunate on Kendrick’s petite frame. The black beading against the blue print isn’t particularly attractive, nor are the proportions of the dress, which make Anna look short and squat instead of long and lean. And those shoes? What drag queen told my girl Fritzy to wear those shoes – especially with that dress? A rookie mistake. And once again, I’d like to remind young Hollywood: If your hair is up and your dress is low-cut, WEAR A NECKLACE. I’m disappointed by her lack of bling. But I do love Anna Kendrick, and I hope she bounces back from this fashion mishap quickly.

The Best and Worst of Biel

Jessica Biel in Giambattista Valli

I’ve never thought Jessica was as beautiful as most people seem to think she is. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a hottie for sure, but she’s got awfully harsh features and she lacks the poise needed to pull off high fashion gowns. But I’m eating my words from the neck down, because I think she looks incredible here, at the London premiere of The A-Team. I normally don’t support sheer gowns on the red carpet, but I can forgive it because this particular gown is just stunning. It fits her remarkably well, making her waist look tinier and her boobs look bigger – and she had a great figure to begin with! I would’ve done black shoes instead of red, but they’re still a good choice. And let’s hear it for a girl who isn’t afraid to bring out the bling. Loving those bracelets.

Now, the hair is a hot mess. How many times do I have to say this – you can’t go all-out with the dress and skimp on the hair and make-up! That frizzy bedhead is not appropriate for such a beautiful gown. But I still give her props for a remarkable effort.

Jessica Biel in Atelier Versace

Well, she’s back to looking stiff and uncomfortable on the red carpet, which is a huge step down. Not that she looked particularly cosy in the Valli gown, but there’s something very cold and unnatural about her in this Versace gown. The gown itself is beautiful, but I just don’t think she’s wearing it well. I think it’s a bit too ornate and vintage-looking for her tastes – she’s very sportswear, Americana, bold colors and simplicity. This gown is anything but. And those shoes were a horrible choice. Whoever invented the teardrop-shaped eyelet peeptoe should obviously be shot. And the silver shoe with the blue dress is very mother-of-the-bride. I’d love to see this dress on Anne Hathaway or another starlet with more traditional, glitzy tastes (and the poise to pull them off), but something about this gown on Jessica just isn’t working for me.

Jessica Biel in Vionnet

It’s a shame, because she looks so much more at ease here, but she’s wearing a glorified potato sack. That sleeve is simply dreadful – unless your arm is in a sling, there’s really no need for that much fabric on the sleeve. And the dress itself is shapeless and dull, like a poorly-made toga. Those shoes look navy, and even if they’re black, they’re clearly not the right black for that dress. And I hate the way the fabric gathers around her waist – it’s unflattering and downright sloppy. Definitely the worst out of the three.

Fergie Fug

Fergie

Now headlining in Vegas: Fergie, the alien warrior princess turned stripper! Oh, Fergie, you can wear whatever the fuck you want, just please stop making music.

Also, it is just me, or does her head seem unnaturally large? Seriously, she looks like a Bratz doll.

Delhi Couture Week 2010

 

Congrats to Delhi on hosting their first ever couture fashion week! I encourage you to check out Tom & Lorenzo for more pics from the runway show; everything is so beautiful and so different from Western fashion.

This couture gown by Manav Gagwani is simply magnificent. I love that you can feel the Indian influence, but you can also see that the designer was inspired by Italian and French couture as well. Every single fabric used is breathtaking. The glitz and glamour of the shiny, glittering fabrics and lace is almost overwhelming. I love the different colors used – iced periwinkles and lilacs, lavenders and silvers. Everything about this gown screams couture. I look forward to many more Delhi Couture Weeks in the future!

The Rapidly Aging Cameron

 

I ask because I care: Cameron, what the fuck is happening with your face? This is clearly a bad Botox job or worse – the skin is pulled awfully tight in some places, while other spots appear swollen and puffy. That can’t be intentional, and it doesn’t seem natural, either. But if you’re going to let your face fall to pieces, at least sport a fabulous outfit to detract from your train-wrecked skin. This sad lump of fabric is not doing you any favors. It has no shape, making you look unfortunately bulbous. Sure, you’ve got killer legs, but this outfit hides your bust, waist, and hips, like you’re just a misshapen potato on two legs. Fire your plastic surgeon and your stylist immediately. You might be 37, but you’ve got the potential to look 30, and right now you’re leaning towards 50.

God Bless America

 

Business chic all the way for Ms. Ferrera! The dress is adorable and professional, flattering and youthful. Though I do need to give her my lecture on NO DARK TOE-NAIL POLISH ON THE RED CARPET. Ugh. The make-up artist was a little heavy-handed, but America looks absolutely radiant, and every professional woman should own a dress like this. Also, that hair is hella sexy.

Worst Dressed

Blake Lively in Preen

Oh, Serena. I know your career goals are to bare as much of your tits as possible on every red carpet, but you have broken the two Golden Rules of Public Titty-Baring:

1. Thou shalt not show any part of the nipple. (This includes even the slightest bit of mysterious skin that seems areola-esque.)

2. Thou shalt not neglect the rest of the outfit just because the titties are bared.

That top is so naked, it looks like it must be on backwards. And those pants? Seriously? We’re wearing high-waisted, wrinkled baggy pants now? Because I simply refuse to support that. And what’s with the shoes? The pants cover up the top ankle strap – that’s clearly not a good sign. And the belt was just a mistake. Aren’t belts supposed to like, wrap around you? Not just poke out awkwardly? Though I guess you can use it as a weapon to fight any comic book geeks who can’t stop staring at your almost nipple. Oh, and brush your hair, for God’s sake. And lose the eight different kinds of bracelets, you look like a tween after a shopping spree at Claire’s.

Best Dressed

 

Hello, Peggy! This is by far the best Ms. Moss has ever looked. She donned this glitzy and glamorous dress for the premiere screening of Mad Men‘s season four in Times Square. The hair is absolutely amazing – thank god we’re saying fairwell to Miss Olson’s signature ponytail! The curly bob is totally chic and works wonders for her features. And the dress! The perfect color, a wonderful fit, and a phenomenal choice for Elisabeth. I love the sassy smile on her face, as if she’s thinking, “Bitches, the days of Peggy the ugly ducking are OVER! This is Elisabeth Moss, glamour queen! Bow down!” I’m looking forward to seeing more like this from the adorable Ms. Moss.

Follow this diva on twitter @democracydiva! And don’t forget to check out my guest blog post with Backstage Barbie!

The Weekly Fashion Recap

The Rule of Coco

Now, before we begin, let us remember that this is Leighton on the set of Gossip Girl in Paris. This means a) the rules are different, because Paris fashion is a different world, and b) we must remember that this is Blair Waldorf, not Leighton Meester. With that in mind, let’s talk fashion.

For a filthy rich Upper East Side girl traipsing around Paris, this outfit is basically perfect, if completely over-the-top. But what NYC WASP princess wouldn’t go over-the-top in the fashion capital of the world? It’s all flawless, and every piece can be worn separately with a thousand different things (not that versatility matters much to someone as rich as Ms. Waldorf, but it matters to me). But let us not forget the immortal words of the legendary Coco Chanel:

Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and remove one accessory.

Simple words, but they carry an incredible weight, because so many fabulous women do have a strong tendency to over-accessorize, like Miss Waldorf here. The hat is precious and perfect for Paris; I can only see the side of the handbag but I already worship it; I don’t know if that belt/scarf is part of the skirt, but the print is lovely; those bracelets are completely badass and bring a much-needed element of seriousness to an otherwise overwhelmingly girly outfit; even that little box of snacks is its own accessory. But listen to Coco, Gossip Girl costumers. Remember and heed her immortal words, because just dropping even one accessory would tone this look down from overwhelming to perfectly chic.

Beware of the Future

I think if Jackie O were recreated in The Jetsons, this is what she would wear. And while the concept of Jackie O + Jetsons is pretty awesome to consider, it is clear that no one is actually meant to wear the result. Kylie has a history of picking some out-there designs, but this? There is nothing flattering or pretty about this at all. Heavy-handed, rudimentary, and looks like it was made by a first year design student – God, if this is what the future of fashion looks like, let me live a short but fabulous life.

The Best and Worst of Swimwear 2011

As a personal preference, I am pro-vintage style bathing suits all the way. You know, pin-up girl style, bandeau tops with high-waisted bottoms. They’re so much more flattering than the barely-there bikinis of today. But I love this swimsuit from Miami Swim Fashion Week because it’s got all the mot flattering elements and the general feel of the swimsuits of yesteryear, but with a totally modern sensibility. Gone are the polka dots and thick straps; here we have basic black in a strapless cut that feels incredibly fresh and new. I hate the bottle-blonde hair and three-seasons-ago sunglasses, not to mention the tanlines – hello, your JOB is to be a swimsuit model! How can you have tan lines?! – but this swimsuit is simply fabulous.

White Sands Australia Swimwear 2011

Same designer, same collection, but a world of difference. While the first swimsuit feels both vintage and modern, flattering and chic, this swimsuit has none of those qualities. I literally cannot imagine a bathing suit less flattering than this – this model has 0% body fat, and even she looks fucking insane. Can you imagine this on a normal-shaped woman? It flattens out your boobs and might as well have a giant arrow pointing to your tummy saying, “OH HAYYYYY!” Which, for the record, is not what most women look for in a swimsuit.

Most Surprising Hipster: Betty Draper

Wow. For someone who plays the perfect early 1960s housewife to a tee on Mad Men, this is one surprisingly hipster-fabulous ensemble. Not that it’s so daring or risky, but I’m used to seeing our very own Betty Draper looking more like this:

Betty Draper in Mad Men Season 1, Episode 4

Just being able to see the shape of January’s legs is a bit shocking, isn’t it? It’s off-putting to see her look so modern, with her super-skinny hipster jeans, black pointy flats, and fabulously sexy black lace/mesh top, not to mention the ever-present big black handbag, the staple of the modern woman’s wardrobe. Throw on the uber-trendy Ray Bans and the iPod and she’s as clearly 2010 as Betty Draper is 1960. Just goes to show you that a woman that beautiful can do a perfect representation of any era.

And can we just talk about January’s hair? That’s possibly the greatest hair color the world has ever seen. With her flawless skin and perfect pink lips, it’s just unfair that one person should have so many amazing features. Sigh.

Bad Dress, Worse Hair: The Joey Potter Story

 

I just don’t know what stylist approved this before Katie stepped out of the house. Unless it’s your very first day of kindergarten, those shoes, that dress, and those god-awful ringlet curls are never appropriate. You’re at the premiere of your own movie, for God’s sake. At least pretend that you give a shit. This is just pure laziness, and the Democracy Diva does not take well to laziness on the red carpet. Make the effort, or pay someone to make the effort for you, or stay the fuck out of the spotlight.

Business Chic Meets Red Carpet

Here’s Amanda Crew at the premiere of her new film Charlie St. Cloud, co-starring Zac Efron. I never could have told you her name or recognized her face before, but kudos to Ms. Crew, because I’ll certainly remember her from now on.

This is the perfect combination of day wear and evening wear. The business chic blouse is deliciously crisp and super-sexy; that glitzy, glamorous skirt makes the whole look dressier, and the accessories are minimalist and beautiful. Also, those legs are astoundingly long. Seriously, she looks like an Amazon woman. I can’t even handle it.

Repeat Offense: Trash Bags as Cocktail Dresses

 

Do you know what the worst part of this dress is? Besides the fact that Lanvin is selling trash bags as cocktail dresses, presumably for thousands of dollars? The worst part isthat this is the SECOND time that I have to express my hatred for this dress, because somehow, against all reason, ANOTHER CELEBRITY ALREADY WORE THIS. Yes, I blogged about this dress when J.Lo wore it a few months back. I hated it then, and I hate it even more now.

Sadly, this is not even the worst thing Rihanna wore this week… but you’ll have to keep reading for that.

Editorial of the Week: Marion Cotillard

The cardigan is Philosophy di Alberta Ferretti, the bustier is Nina Ricci, the woman is Marion Cotillard, and the photo shoot is fabulous. I don’t have anything to say besides the fact that I now officially have a huge lesbian crush on Mademoiselle Cotillard. That stomach, those legs… and I’m stealing that bustier for Rocky Horror.

Repeat Offender: Rihanna

 

 

Well, it’s official. It’s time for Rihanna to go to rehab.

Fashion Icon of the Week

 

Easily the greatest on-the-street summer wear I’ve ever seen. The incredible bloggers over at The Sartorialist snapped this photo of Vogue Japan Editor-at-Large Anna Della Russo in Milan. The goofy sunglasses, the casual shoes, the simple clutch, that astounding, sun-kissed, just-out-of-bed hair – and that perfect dress that just screams “summer in Southern Europe.” And the black bra and panties – or perhaps bathing suit – are so sexy, but the dress covers enough that this doesn’t seem slutty. It’s just the perfect youthful summer dress.

But here’s the best part – this woman is 48 years old. (Yes, for real! I couldn’t believe it either.) Just another reminder that if you have fun with your wardrobe, smile constantly, and walk with an attitude, you will be young forever.

Follow the Democracy Diva on Twitter! @democracydiva

Best and Worst of the Week in Fashion

The weekly fashion recap is back to actually being weekly! At least until law school starts.

Simply Chic

January Jones in Versace

A welcome reminder that you don’t need to be complex or over-the-top to be fashionable, January Jones wears the hell out of this assymetrical white Versace dress and Brian Atwood pumps. Cute hair – casual, but not messy. The shade of lipstick is perfect, and I can’t even believe how blue her eyes are. And the way that dress twists around her is just fascinating. It feels like a high fashion tennis dress. Country club meets red carpet. And I love it.

A Hot Mess… Minus the “Hot”

Eva Mendes in Azzaro

Dear Eva,

Chloe Sevigny called. She wants the uglier version of her dress from the Met Gala back. At least she has an excuse, being Chloe Sevigny and all. So when I blogged about that dress, I was much more forgiving than I’m going to be towards you. Because if anyone can pull off a butt load of crazy, it’s Nicholette Grant. But you’re Eva Mendes. You’re really boring, and not particularly good at anything, and that dress is fucking stupid. Oh, and it’s July. There’s really no need for long sleeves, high necks, and scarves when the temperature hasn’t dropped below 90 in a month.

Love,

The Democracy Diva

Disappointment of the Week

Claire Danes

Claire Danes will forever be one of my favorite women, because I have a huge gay crush on her. But unfortunately, my undying love is not enough to stop her from making some truly awful fashion choices. Like this dress. Which, at its core, is some mediocre draping in ugly colors. Then the green ribbon was haphazardly added, making the whole dress look cheap and home-sewn. And after that mess, I guess the designer figured they needed to distract from the look somehow, so he covered Claire’s arm in droopy fabric and called it a day.

Honey, you are too good for this. Hire some new people. And change your toenail polish. Those dark colors always look like fungi on the red carpet.

Best in Bridal: Project Runway Alum Edition

Chloe Dao Bridal 2010

Season 2 Project Runway winner Chloe Dao released her bridal collection this week. Remember, she was the tiny Asian one, with the red-headed model who was easily a foot taller than her? They were such an adorable pair, Chloe and Grace. Anyway, I’m glad to see she’s still designing, and particularly designing bridal wear. She’s no genius, but she’s got some interesting ideas and strong technical skills.

And this is such a sweet little bridal dress. Beautifully draped, so it feels like a flower instead of a dress. The volume on the bottom is just big enough to make a statement, but not so big that it’s unwearable. Super cute, very chic, and an overall adorable dress.

Sex on a Stick

Sofia Vergara in Lela Rose

Hello, gorgeous! The sexy mama from Modern Family is all tits and legs in this fabulous little blue number. I don’t love the way it cuts across her tummy – I think it could be cut in a more flattering way – but I like the subtle drape of the skirt. The color is by far the best thing about this dress – it just calls even more attention to the most beautiful woman in the room. It’s a bit too push-up for Vergara’s already busty frame – I think it just makes her tits look fake as opposed to naturally perky – but she just always looks like she’s having a great time, and I love how refreshingly normal she seems. Oh, and she’s hilarious, too.

Fixer-Upper

Kim Kardashian

You know, Kim Kardashian may be totally useless and famous for no reason, but I’ve seen photos of her without makeup, and she’s actually gorgeous. Kim, please listen to the wisdom that the Democracy Diva is about to impart upon you. I promise, I am only here to help.

  • That slicked-back hair needs to go. You shouldn’t aim for hair like a Ken doll – your hair should look like, well, hair. And while we’re on the subject, what’s with the extra-long ponytail? Just get a haircut.
  • I hate denim jackets in general. But an acid-washed denim jacket – that looks as if it is intentionally made to appear inside-out? Thumbs down, Kim. Also, shrunken jackets are not that flattering on your figure.
  • Skin-tight may be a style, but you’re just walking down the street. Does everything you wear need to be so binding all the time? Not that it’s necessarily bad, I would just get really uncomfortable – not to mention sweaty.
  • Beware of those eyebrows – they’re already in a very surprised shape, and if you over-tweeze them anymore, you’re going to look like you’ve had a bad Botox job.
  • Lay off the pancake makeup! You really don’t need it. You have amazing eyes, beautiful lips, and a cute nose. There’s no need to put on stage makeup for a walk down the street in the middle of July. Just let a little more of your natural beauty shine, and you might actually look like a human.

With Great Films Comes Great Fashion: Inception

Ellen Page in Helmut Lang

Obviously when you’re in a hugely anticipated movie with Leonardo DiCaprio, you’re basically required to have a fabulous new stylist make sure that you look amazing at every premiere. This is our dear Juno at the French premiere of Inception (which I just saw with Nate, and we highly recommend it). And she looks so casually terrific, as if to say, “Who me? Oh, I’ve always looked this fierce, you just weren’t paying attention.” Well, Ellen, I congratulate you and your new stylist on a job well done. Sexy dress, great fit, great print. Smoky and dark and interesting. The hair is cute, though I’d trim those side-bangs a bit, I think it would angle your face better. But keep it up, girl.

Marion Cotillard in Christian Dior

A beautiful woman in a beautiful dress, but I don’t know who told her to wear those sandals. They have nothing to do with the rest of the outfit. Just a simple black pump would’ve been fine. But let’s remember, ladies, you’re never fully dressed without some bling. No earrings OR bracelet OR necklace? Come on, Marion. Don’t be afraid to accessorize.

Midsummer Red Carpet Recap

Forgive me, poodles. I just moved to a new place and just got internet today, so this Diva has not had much time for blogging. But it’s Fashion Week in gay Par-ee, so we’ve got some red carpet looks to catch up on before we hit the big time. Let’s dive in.

Repeat Winner: Prodigy Edition

Dakota Fanning in Elie Saab

Head-to-toe perfection, as per usual. I particularly love the natural makeup; too many young starlets, even if they dress well, tend to age themselves ten years with heavy makeup, but this styling lets Dakota’s youth and beauty shine. The dress is obviously to die for, but I think we need a close-up on those shoes:

Dakota Fanning in Christian Louboutin shoes

Those sexy studded shoes just jumped to the top of my MUST HAVE list. (By “must have,” I of course mean “could not dream of affording.”) This outfit is the textbook definition of gritty-meets-pretty – the girl’s hair, skin, and dress are practically glowing with angelic beauty, but she throws on her studded Loubs and suddenly it’s a whole different ball game. (That’s the first and last sports reference you’ll find on this blog, kittens.)

Fugly Beyond Her Years

Annalynne McCord in Nicole Miller

I’d like you all to guess how old this woman is. If I was in a bad mood, I’d probably guess 45; at my most forgiving, I’d say mid-thirties.

SHE’S TWENTY-TWO. This bitch is MY age and already looks like she’s been chasing her pack-a-day habit with a bottle of gin every night for twenty years. Let’s forget the fact that she broke one of the most important Diva Commandments: Thou shalt wear your actual dress size, not the dress size you aim to be. Other bloggers and fashion experts have wisely said, “Wear a size bigger, and you’ll look a size smaller.” Certainly, this unforgivingly tight dress supports that claim. If only it supported McCord’s breasts.

Fun fact: I wikipedia-ed McCord (to find out her age), and my boyfriend Nate looked at her picture and said, “That looks like Carrot Top.” I rest my case.

Best Nobody

Clemence Poesy in vintage Chanel

InStyle informs me that Clemence Poesy, who has probably the worst stage name I’ve ever heard, is one of the new stars of Gossip Girl. I stopped watching that show when the guy from Next to Normal left the girl from The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants for dead in a car crash. (I know their names, it’s just way more fun to refer to them that way.) Anyway, she needs her roots touched up, and I’m not sure her face is quite beautiful enough to be going for that fresh-faced, natural thing that Dakota Fanning nailed above, but this dress is amazing. It’s not exactly hard to wear a perfect, simple vintage Chanel dress, but she kept things neat and simple with the accessories, and I respect her for that. Even if she has a dumbass name.

[Diva’s Note: It just came to my attention (thanks, Thu) that this girl actually played Fleur in the Harry Potter movies! Something I totally should have known, but what can I do, kittens? But the point is, maybe it’s not a dumbass name – it’s really just that she’s French, and has a French name, and I’m an idiot.]

First Lady Fashion

Michelle Obama in Azzedine Alaïa

Too bad for the Canadian Prime Minister and his wife – they’d look pretty cute, if they weren’t standing next to such a fabulous looking couple. Sorry, Canada, but you lose even in this photo, as it is clear that Americans have infinitely better fashion sense. Our First Lady looks truly amazing here – we all know it’s not easy to wear a white dress outside your wedding day, but Michelle not only nails it, but pairs it with great shoes, a fabulous bracelet, and her most flattering hairstyle to date. Not to mention that her arms, legs, and yes, FLOTUS cleavage look simply spectacular.

Repeat Offender

Jada Pinkett Smith

Well. Everything about this is terrible. Actually, to be fair, that tuxedo jacket would be fierce with a t-shirt and a pair of skinny jeans, but this… this is worse than Jada’s Tony awards mishap. I just don’t really understand what’s happening on top of her head, but I know it’s giving me a migraine.

Risks That Pay Off

Claire Danes in Zac Posen

Kudos to Claire Danes – this is definitely not a dress that the average woman, or even the average Hollywood woman, can pull off. But I think she’s absolutely glowing in this fabulous Zac Posen mixed print. It could have come off as costumey or even clownish, but Claire nails it, proving that a great smile makes every outfit even more fabulous.

Underage Stripper of the Week

Taylor Momsen

The photo on the left, though it should disturb me, unfortunately is not a surprise. It’s downright tame for Momsen, and actually would make a pretty fantastic Rocky Horror costume.

But the shoes, my friends. The shoes. Clear platform shoes. With actually dollar bills in them. AND THE SHOES SAY “TIPS” ON THEM. I mean, the girl is sixteen – shouldn’t that be illegal?

Best and Worst: Most Surprising Makeovers

Kristen Stewart in Herve Leger by Max Azria

I never dreamed I would say this, but K-Stew looks pretty fucking awesome right now. The new hair color is doing wonders for her. Usually when someone dyes their hair an entirely new color, it looks completely unnatural, but this feels so much more natural than her nearly-black hair did. The highlights frame her face beautifully, and I think the short hair is working for her as well. Not to mention the fact that she’s wearing a killer dress and fabulous heels (Brian Atwood shoes, to be exact). For once, her pale skin looks like beautiful porcelain instead of deathly ill. And those legs? Goodbye, knobbly knees; hello, supermodel. (Well, not quite. But in the immortal words of Whitney Fetterhoff, she’s got one hell of a set of getaway sticks.) And although she’s not smiling in this picture, she also doesn’t look like she wants to kill anyone, and has clearly been making an effort to not look so fucking miserable lately. I don’t know if the Eclipse producers picked a hot new stylist for her to drum up even more press about the film, but big hugs to whoever made this look happen. Let’s hope it stays.

Heidi Klum

Again, something I thought I’d never say: Heidi Klum isn’t looking so great, guys. Her new haircut fully sucks. It’s like if a scissor-happy kindergartener went to town on Anna Wintour’s bob. I guess the choppiness of it is a look, but it just looks sloppy, not chic. And it ages her about a decade – as does the skirt, which could be worn during Klum’s gynecologist appointment, as it provides such easy access. Heidi is a gorgeous woman with killer legs, but a slit that high does favors to absolutely no one.

Best Street Fashion: Diva’s Pick

Drew Barrymore

Recently, someone asked me what I’d wear every day if I could wear anything. I told them it was cocktail dresses with sneakers, but clearly I was wrong. Because this, ladies and gentlemen, is exactly what I would wear to walk around the city. A vintage sundress, hipster sunglasses, my signature messy bun, and the perfect pair of heels. I’ve never seen such effortless fashion before – I actually can’t stop looking at this picture. I think the lipstick matching the shoes is what really seals the deal for me. Never-ending kudos to Drew for wearing this casually around the West Village. I envy you.

The Week(s) in Fashion

The past few weeks have seen several Sex and the City 2 premieres, a Glee red carpet event, and several Resort 2011 collections. So let’s make up for lost time and dive straight into the action.

Glee‘s Best and Worst

 

Well, it’s obvious how Quinn Fabray became the most popular girl at McKinley High (before she got knocked up and joined New Directions, of course). She is just a stunningly beautiful woman who embraces her best features. Old school Hollywood hair, contemporary but classic dress, fierce shoes, and the perfect shade of lipstick can go a long way. And I love to see ladies dropping the unnatural shade of orange and showing off their natural porcelain complexion. Maybe everybody looks better with a tan, but nobody looks better with a fake tan, and I like when starlets accept that fate and stay naturally pale. Dianna looks simply marvelous here, and I’m looking forward to seeing what else she’s got.

Heather Morris

Heather Morris plays Brittany, everyone’s favorite dumb cheerleader. She gets all the funniest lines and she’s the best dancer on the show, with the possible exception of Other Asian. And yet, from her ankles up, you’d have know idea she’s on a hit TV show. The hair is awful – one long braid has no place on the red (or, in this case, blue) carpet, and she looks terrifyingly like she might be wearing a Bump-It. She absolutely needs a new makeup artist – the attempt at dramatic eyes just looks messy, and her lips are crying out for some color. That shapeless potato sack of a dress is a terrible color, too. But damn, those Louboutin heels are gorgeous.

Best and Worst of the Resort 2011 Collections

 

Tell me, does anyone really need a denim romper with cuffs and a matching denim blazer? Is there actually a market for this outfit? Is someone lounging around their apartment in their underwear, mourning the fact that they have no denim to romp in? If you are that person, just know that therapy is always an option.

 

This dress had me immediately captivated. Chic and simple, perfect styling – the hair, the eyes, the shoes, it’s all gorgeous, and it all serves to highlight the gorgeous textures and prints in that fabulous little dress.

Yves Saint Laurent Resort 2011

I’m coining a term for this look: Mormon Chic. It’s like a cross between what Chloe Sevigny wears in real life and what she wore in the first few seasons of Big Love, back when they actually dressed her like she grew up on the compound. It’s prairie-licious and fabulous, and I love the stark contrast between that virginal white dress and the sheer black stockings and blood-red heels.

Jason Wu Resort 2011

Though I think this is a little too reminiscent of designers like Christian Siriano for me to over-praise it, I love this dress. It may lack originality in its silhouette, but I think that print is gorgeous, the color is fabulous, the draping is perfect, and it’s something any woman could wear on a night out during her summer vacation.

 

I moaned aloud when I saw this dress. Dior may be repeating some of his old tricks, but this is still impeccably crafted, beautifully designed, and evokes emotion from the people who see it. The barbie-on-acid styling amps up the volume and kicks a bit of edge into a delicate and romantic look. This Diva would wear this gown to her wedding, if she could afford it, and if she didn’t mind looking like she fell in a bucket of Easter egg dye.

Black Lace Gone Bad

 

Oh, V. Cheer up. I know you must be well aware that Gossip Girl‘s death is imminent, since the show stopped making sense or appealing to any viewers quite a few months ago. But that’s no reason to take your feelings out on your wardrobe. Some helpful hints for a woman in mourning:

  • A ponytail is not a hairstyle – at least, not when you’re at the premiere of Sex and the City 2.
  • A scarf is not a shirt. Just because it covers your nipples does not mean it’s clothing.
  • Unless you moonlight as a dancer in a 1980s New York gay bar, there’s never really a need to wear a sheer black shirt.

Christina Ricci in Givenchy

I could focus on the black lace tail that seems to have come lose from the rest of the dress, or the way the entire skirt seems to be made of curly human hair, or how there is some sort of Jetsons-go-to-a-funeral vibe happening with the top of this dress. But all I need to say is that this dress shows UNDERBOOB. Underboob, like jodhpurs, mermaid gowns, and body hair, HAS NO PLACE ON THE RED CARPET. Tuck that shit away. For God’s sake, it’s not even the best part of the boob.

Mischa Barton

The hair. The hair is absolutely killing me. I don’t know what’s worse: the black roots, the platinum tips, the hair extensions, or how unwashed and mentally disturbed all of it looks. And this dress is just an ornate tablecloth torn apart and sewn back together with a peephole that I fear is slowly taking over Mischa’s entire torso. And those shoes just might be the ugliest things I’ve ever seen.

Best of the Week

 

It’s definitely not a dress I would wear, but I respect Emma Watson’s efforts to always dress in pieces that have a one-of-a-kind feel to them. I feel like she nearly always looks impeccably put together, but more importantly, she likes to take risks and surprise people. Note how similar this dress is to Mischa’s above it – both are short white dresses with short sleeves, black detailing, and a cutout in the middle – and yet this is lightyears better than Mischa’s mess. This dress is modern and funky. The cutout just above the waist would be treacherous on a normal woman, but of course it works on Hermione’s fabulous figure. And her legs go on for days thanks to those enviable Christian Louboutin heels that I’m shocked she can even walk in. That hair color is not my favorite – I think it’s a little red for her complexion – but I commend her on a risk well taken and wish her a safe journey in those shoes.

The Worst of the Millennium

 

My dear readers, please don’t get overwhelmed. I know there’s a lot to take in, and that this might be very difficult for you to stomach. But let me hold your hand through this one, and I promise we will be okay.

Now, you may recognize these conical suspenders from New York Fashion Week. In fact, I called those suspenders the #1 worst look at all of Fashion Week. Special thanks to Rihanna for proving me right, as they look even stupider on her than they did in on the runway.

I’m just going to point out the fact that it seems like packing tape is keeping her cones together. I’m also now certain that Rihanna tits are fake – they can’t possibly be that round and perky when nothing is even holding them up. That’s not good genes, that’s just downright impossible.

And she has a red bowl haircut with black roots. I don’t know if I say this enough, but I’d really like her career to be over now, please.

Stay tuned: Fashion from the MTV Movie Awards and the Sex and the City premieres will be up soon!

The Weekly Fashion Recap

The Diva Herself is now a college graduate, but fortunately that just gives her even more time to blog about fashion, feelings, and anything else that pops into her exhausted brain.

Best Newcomer

Gemma Arterton in Valentino

I just love it when nobodies step up to the plate! This fabulous lady is starring in Prince of Persia, and wore this Valentino gown to the premiere. I know the silver strands are a bit tinsel-esque, but the dress is gorgeous. The color is beautiful and matches her skin tone perfectly. Hair and makeup are simple and elegant, but I do wish she had glitzed it up a bit with some accessories. But for a newbie, this is a tremendous success.

Last Week’s Fabulous, This Week’s Fugly

Jennifer Lopez in Gucci

I knew my appreciation for J.Lo was going to be short-lived, but this was a shockingly fast return to fugly for the diva who impressed me at the Met Gala. That mess on top of her head looks like a cheap wig. The earrings are just too much, especially since they dangle down to the monstrosity atop her right shoulder. Seriously, women of Hollywood, why do you insist on wearing dresses with big poofy objects on one shoulder? They nearly always look terrible. And as distracting as that shoulder piece is, it can’t hide the fact that this is a boring dress with no design whatsoever. It makes her look like a pregnant midget impersonator of Jennifer Lopez. Better luck next week, Jenn.

Gucci Done Right

Salma Hayek in Gucci

There is something so uniquely glamorous about a dress that matches the red carpet perfectly. And this dress is absolutely beautiful. The slit is sexy but not overdone, the draping is impeccable, the fit is perfect, and she looks every bit the fiery Latina that she is.

The Definition of “Hot Disaster”

Whitney Port in Rachel Roy

Whitney Port is one of those famous-for-no-reason people that I loathe on principle. But now at least I have a very good reason to hate her. Actually, this look gives me many good reasons to hate her. Let’s start from the top:

  • Your roots are chestnut brown. Your tips are platinum blonde. This is a problem.
  • Your tits look saggier than Betty White’s. Wear a fucking bra.
  • I hate the watch, the purse, and the black nail polish. I’ll say it again: black nail polish is fine when you’re out on the town, but it is very difficult to pull off on the red carpet.
  • There is an ugly, puckered seam that starts at her hips and reaches down into the hottest mess of fabric I’ve ever seen. Seriously, what is that draping supposed to look like? Because I can’t imagine anyone designing something that was intended to look this awful.
  • Those may be the trashiest looking shoes I’ve ever seen. They match the sequined tube top that Columbia wears in Rocky Horror perfectly, but that doesn’t grant them access to the red carpet.

Best of the Runway

Christian Dior Resort 2011

This is utter fabulousness. This woman is a modern Jackie O, strutting through the streets of Paris in the springtime in her impeccably designed floral ensemble. The color is breathtaking, it emanates beauty and whimsy, and while some designers use their resort collections to go a bit flashy and trashy, Dior classes it up with this gorgeous outfit that I’d die to wear.

Worst of the Week

Vanessa Hudgens

Another day, another head-to-toe disaster. Now, I myself rock a messy bun atop my head now and again – when I’m washing my face, when I’m impersonating Cindy Lou Who… well, I guess that’s basically it. There is no excuse for wearing such a hairstyle on the red carpet, and yet it’s absolutely everywhere right now. But I suppose it’s fitting, since her dress is equally awful. It’s poorly designed, it doesn’t fit her, the fabrics are tacky as hell, it’s a wrinkled mess, it makes her look pregnant, and it looks home-sewn. And while some stars can occasionally rock black nail polish on the red carpet under very specific circumstances, black TOE nail polish looks good on absolutely nobody, especially with those tacky stripper shoes.

When this Diva regains her energy and faces her feelings, she’ll be continuing her “Shows that Changed My Life” blog series. Stay tuned.

The Weekly Fashion Recap

Project Runway Alum Collection

 

Remember Jerell? You know, the one who wore v-neck shirts that bared his entire chest, who made that crazy green alien space suit? He always struck me as a bit intriguing, if far too inexperienced and immature to be a good designer. But it seems as if he’s grown up at least a little bit. You can check out his whole collection over at Project Rungay. It’s by no means perfect, but like the dress above, it’s beautiful and innovative, if over-designed and unwearable. But definitely a big step up in creativity, maturity, and intrigue.

A Hefty Mistake

 

A word to the wise: Throwing on a trash bag, belting it, and letting your hair serve as a bird’s nest does not make you red carpet ready.

Divas we Love in Dresses we Adore

 

Avid readers of the Democracy Diva may recognize this dress – in my post on New York Fashion Week’s 10 Best Looks, I ranked this Herve Leger number #3. That’s right, one of my all-time favorite divas wore one of my top 3 favorite looks of all of New York Fashion Week. And she nailed it. Lea Michele looks simply gorgeous, and best of all, she didn’t let her stylist edit out the interesting parts of the dress. Far too often, stars take a stunning red carpet look and water it down so it’s more wearable, and the end result is a snooze-fest. But Ms. Michele looks fierce, even though I really don’t like her bangs (I think they age her).

Blame Canada

 

Shenae Grimes played the nice Christian girl/date rape victim on Degrassi before ditching the Canadian teen feelings fest for its better-looking American cousin, 90210. I don’t know where to begin with this girl, who seems to love dressing like the poor man’s Taylor Momsen, who dresses like the poor man’s Courtney Love. Just a few tips for you, Shenae: Shoulderpads should not extend two inches farther than where your shoulders end. Dresses that were purchased on the sale rack at American Apparel are not suitable for the red carpet. Knee-high socks need not be worn with velvet boots, particularly in California in May. And I don’t care if it’s intentional – there is no reason I should have to see your bargain bin black lace slip that looks like a reject from The Rocky Horror Picture Show costume closet.

Best of the Week

 

A gorgeous dress on a beautiful girl. There’s nothing more I can add. Hair, makeup, accessories – it’s all perfect.

Fabulous First Lady

 

This is one of my favorite MObama looks ever. Youthful, sexy, gorgeous, and event-appropriate (she wore it to the White House Correspondents Dinner). I would have chosen only one of the bracelets, not both, but she looks absolutely flawless.

The Weekly Fashion Recap

Biggest Step Forward

Taylor Swift in Marchesa

My little girl is growing up so fast! 9 times out of 10, Ms. Swift shows up to events looking boring but fabulous in a red gown or glittery cocktail dress. It’s nice to see her step out of that rather primitive box and wear something that takes a little more effort to pull off. She looks glamorous and elegant; older, but by no means old. Darling, you’re blonde, thin, tall, and rich – you better wear that fierce Marchesa gown while you still can! Kudos for showing us something new.

Most Disappointing Winner of a Project Runway Challenge

Heidi Klum in Emilio Sosa

Well, this is just about the worst Mrs. Seal has ever looked. And it’s really her own fault.

One of this season’s challenges on Project Runway was to create a red carpet look for Heidi herself. Emilio made exactly this (though his version was full-length and looked a little more gold on television). And as you can plainly see, this dress does nothing for one of the world’s most beautiful women. Her tummy looks poochy, her boobs look flat, and she looks like she’s forcing herself to smile to promote her show, but deep down, she knows she looks freaking terrible. This is a basic, ugly American Apparel dress with a little cuff on top. And the shoes don’t work. But that’s what you get, Heidi, for over-praising Emilio so much during this snooze-fest of a season.

Repeat Offender

Hayden Panettiere

That is one ugly dress. Who decided a seam down the center of the entire dress was a flattering look on anybody? And who designed those tacky sleeves, Elton John’s costume designer circa 1979? And don’t get me started for the zillionth time on how damn old she looks. Listen chica, if you want to date men twenty years your senior, just do it. Don’t age yourself so that people don’t ask your boyfriend if he’s your grandfather.

But wait, it gets worse –

Hayden's New Haircut

It’s not even that it’s a bad haircut – though I sort of think it is. It’s more this entire matronly style that she’s going for. Some girls just don’t know how to appreciate their own youth and beauty, and they go and get the haircut that Kate Gosselin should be getting.

Battle of the Demis

Demi Moore in Oscar de la Renta

Demi has her own personal fountain of youth that keeps her looking more delectable than ever, but even if she weren’t one of the hottest women around, this is the kind of dress that works for everyone. Gorgeous print, interesting colors, short but not slutty, can go easily from work wear (with a blazer) to evening wear (with fierce heels and a clutch). It’s nice to see celebrities in ridiculous shit we could never pull off, but it’s also refreshing to see an impossibly beautiful women in a dress that would look great on me or my mother.

Demi Lovato in BCBG

It must be a little hard to be Demi Lovato. I mean, yeah, she’s cute and famous, but she’s clearly the red-headed stepsister of Selena Gomez, which is hard on a girl. And even though her face is a different color than her arms which are a different color than her legs, I like this look. It’s hella loud, but she’s at a Disney event. The red carpet is blue. The rules are different here. The shoes are a little much, but the dress is fun and flattering; it shows that she’s a teenager and wants to dress a bit adventurous, but it’s not at all slutty. If she could just relax her facial muscles a bit more, I think I’d finally be able to like her.

The Week in Fashion

Best Surprise

Hilary Duff in Vera Wang

Kudos to HilDuff for coming up with something interesting and daring. I know a lot of people didn’t like this look, and I’m sure it looks odd from a few angles, but I think this dress is courageous and stunning. It’s youthful and modern, and a big step for Hilary, who doesn’t take too many fashion risks. It’s nice to see a star wearing something a little more interesting than Taylor Swift’s gorgeous-but-boring red or sparkly cocktail dresses, but a little less matronly than Hayden Panettiere’s ball gowns.

Biggest Disappointment

Lea Michele in Etro

Everybody gets to make a mistake, I suppose. But I was tremendously disappointed with Lea Michele’s look at this event. The dress is tacky, ill-fitting, and does nothing for her figure. And her hair and make-up age her twenty years. I know they look alike, but I really thought this was a picture of Idina Menzel, not a photo of a young 20-something. Remember you’re short and steer away from floor-length floral prints, and I hope to see you back in your usual fabulousness, Lea.

When Vertical Stripes Go Wrong

Katherine Heigl

In the immortal words of Michael Kors, “Where is this woman going?” Because she looks like a Mormon clown with a bad dye job who got her make-up done by a drag queen.

It’s Time to Move Up a Size

Katy Perry

Honey. I may hate you for being a no-talent gimmick, but you’re not a fat girl. Wear the size that fits you and you won’t look so… swollen. And a word to the wise: Over-accessorizing is not your friend. You can’t wear a studded dress, a studded bracelet, studded shoes, AND studded sunglasses.

And wash your hair and give us a smile. You look like Kristen Stewart, for God’s sake.

Sexiest of the Week

Kate Beckinsale in Derek Lam

Sex on a stick, ladies and gentlemen. I have no opinion on Kate Beckinsale whatsoever except that she looks head-to-toe fabulous here. Relaxed hair, understated make-up, a tight draped dress in a beauitful color, and black accessories. Get it, Kate.

The Week in Fashion

Native American Girls Go Bad

Leighton Meester in Giambattista Valli

Leighton Meester in Giambattista Valli

Leighton Meester is quickly become the most surprisingly worst-dressed celebrity. There will always be the Rihannas of the world who dress themselves with a newfound sense of fugliness every day. But something inside me expects Leighton to dress well, probably because her Gossip Girl character has the perfect WASP fashion sensibilities. So every time she parades around in a Navajo blanket she stole from the set of Pocahontas 2: Electric Boogaloo, my insides weep, because how can a girl who wears such gorgeous clothes on her show pick such fugly things to wear in real life? Why can’t she hire the Gossip Girl costumer as her personal stylist – or, you know, anybody with any basic knowledge of what looks good on a human being. So here’s your fashion advice, Leighton, that you so stubbornly refuse to ask for: you look like a Muppet from the back, those shoes are ridiculously ugly and make your calves look weird, and I’m not convinced that hair color is right for you. Now go, and find a way to be the one well-dressed actor on your show, because God knows that award isn’t going to Blake Lively’s stripper outfits or Taylor Momsen’s eyeliner-and-no-pants trend.

Love it or Hate it?

Rachel Bilson in Preen

I honestly cannot figure out how I feel about this dress. I’m usually pretty anti-cutouts, but I think this is just so interesting that I want to let it slide. And I know she’s wearing a glorified bra, but her dress isn’t actually more revealing than any other red carpet outfits. I think I want to dislike it on principle, but dammit, she looks hot as hell. I don’t want to just like it because she’s wearing it and I practically worship her, but the fact that I’ve been staring at this photo for five minutes straight definitely speaks to its intrigue.

Okay. I’ve decided I love it. Feel free to disagree. Though I will say that I wish Rachel’s roots matched the rest of her hair, but that’s a personal issue.

Vulgar in Velvet

Ginnifer Goodwin in Vionnet

I try to like Ginnifer Goodwin. I think she’s fantastic on Big Love, and I thought she was just the right balance of annoying and cute in He’s Just Not That Into You. But the shorter her hair gets, the less I like her. Not because she doesn’t look good with short hair, but she looks like she’s trying so hard to achieve that hipster pixie look. I think she’d look infinitely more beautiful if she embraced the fact that her face is too round for super-short hair – it makes her look like the head of an infant on the body of a woman.

But putting her hair to rest, let’s discuss this outfit. It breaks three of this Diva’s fashion rules:

  • Unless you’re on the runway, at a costume party, or you’re a rock star, there is no need to wear vagina-high boots.
  • If you put on an outfit correctly and it still looks like you’re wearing it backwards, it’s probably a NO.
  • Pick a season and stick with it. You can’t go all wintery in leather and velvet, but then leave your entire chest and midriff exposed. It gives the unfortunate appearance that you are simultaneously sweating to death and freezing your ass off.

Most Disturbing of the Week

Heidi Montag in far too little

My only question is, what happened in Heidi Montag’s childhood that made her think this is what women should look like? Even Barbie dolls have more reasonable chest-to-waist proportions than Heidi. And I think their feet are less pointy, too. I used to hate Heidi just for existing, but I look at pictures like this and I truly pity this girl. Correct me if I’m wrong, straight gentlemen and gay ladies, but I don’t think breasts that size are the least bit attractive. I think she was much prettier before she did this to herself, and that she is in desperate need of an intervention before she wakes up one morning looking like Mickey Rourke.

Best Dressed of the Week

Reese Witherspoon

She looks perfect. And it is damn hard to pull off an all-white ensemble, particularly in the pre-summer months, but Reese truly looks like an angel (you know, if angels carried fabulous purses that cost a few grand). Cute shoes, great purse, simple and elegant dress that fits her impeccably, great hair, cute sunglasses, and fun jewelry. A+ work, Reese.

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