While fashionistas fled in and out of New York, some stars managed to actually make it to other noteworthy events this week. We’ve got all you need to know about who wore what where here at Diva Headquarters.

She actually looks like a fucking Disney princess. This is a phenomenal gown, a perfect color for her skin and hair, paired with warm, blushy makeup and glitzy accessories. Amy should’ve saved this for the Oscars – I’d love to see how she’s going to top it.

Also gorgeous, though I wouldn’t have chosen those shoes or that purse. But it looks like Amy knows that the real way to advertise yourself for an Oscar win is to dress like a fucking movie star.

Um, excuse me? Where the hell has Leann Rimes been all my life and why does she look so fabulous? Aside from the slight problem of appearing to have fabric spewing out of her bellybutton, this dress is SERIOUSLY glam. Not into the hair or the makeup, and it could have looked a little better with less cleavage, but this is surprisingly chic for someone who is not necessarily known for her style.

Honey, if you’re going to wear not just any Lanvin gown, but this spectacularly diva-licious Lanvin gown, then you have got to BRING IT. And that means the high school prom hair and makeup are unacceptable. Your natural blondeness is not nearly as flattering as what I thought was your natural ginger color, but this pink and red gown is so fabulous, I could understand if she dyed her hair blonde just to be able to wear it. From the neck down, this is perfection, but the gown is doing all the work.

I love this dress, but every dress and every pair of shoes on the red carpet this season has been a near-nude shade, and I am over it. Plus, the hair is all wrong. And when you’re wearing a prima ballerina sort of dress, you can’t stand quite so prim and proper or you actually look like one of those little spinning ballerinas on top of a jewelry box.

I would have bet you fifty bucks that this was a drag queen version of Katy Perry, but alas. It is not.

Not crazy about the severe hair, but loving this dress. We all know J-Lo is never going to miss out on an inappropriate opportunity to show off her goodies, so at least she’s doing it in an amazing dress for once. The gladiator-gold belt and purse keep it within J-Lo’s realm of normal, but the dress is way more fabulous than her usual glitzy scarves parading as dresses.

LOVE. The shoes are a statement and a half. I’d have switched the watch out for a bracelet, but other than that, I’m all over this look.

This dress was my red carpet prediction for Heidi Klum, mainly due to its shortness/shininess. Diane looks great, and she obviously has the legs to pull this off, but this dress actually looks like the bottom half just fell off. I can handle a micro-mini, but something in the proportions is off.

Fabulous anecdote: My mom, being the amazing celebrity-sighter that she is (Tim Gunn, Geraldo Rivera, J-Woww, and Ivanka Trump, to name a few recent run-ins), ran into Emma Watson in Manhattan today. And being the amazing mom that she is, she asked our dear Ms. Watson if she could take a picture for her daughter, who is a huge fan. Mom swears Emma was going to say yes, but had a publicist/agent/bodyguard/personal assistant/Amazon woman with her who rudely said “NO” and dragged Emma away. But, according to Mom, Emma had an “I’m sorry/I love my fans/I’m so flattered” look in her eyes. Obviously I asked Mom if Emma was wearing a Burberry trench coat, but alas, she was in a t-shirt, leggings, and ballet flats, looking totally cute with her “perfect pixie cut.” (But “a surprisingly wide ass for a girl so petite,” Mom said. Clearly, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.)

The pixie cut is a funny thing. It can be the chicest hairstyle on earth, but it can go so wrong SO FAST. For example, if you pair it with an overly-penciled eyebrow and red lipstick, you seem like you’re in a new wave music video. The wrinkled dress doesn’t help, either.

Amazing blazer. Probably the best Fergie has looked in years.

I want to hate this, because on principle, I should hate something with orange tassels, but this is so fabulously modern-Greco-flapper that I can’t resist. Few can pull it off, but when Blake brings it, she knocks it out of the fucking park.

Still workin’ it, but not as hard. Not loving the choice of earrings or shoes, and the dress is a bit over-designed.

The extent to which the dress matches the floor CANNOT be a coincidence. I can’t stop laughing at this picture, but even if I stop breathing, at least I can cling to Blake’s conveniently located flotation devices.

Even a coked-out Miami spring breaker would look at this and say, “Um, TACKY.”

The hair is better than it’s been lately, but still well within mental-patient territory. And I’m over those giant round-toed pumps. And this dress makes her proportions look awfully strange.

This is a fabulous color dress, but not on January. She’s so blonde and so pale that the green dress actually appears to make her whole body look a little green – and the nude accessories and blue eyeshadow only play up that effect. It’s off-putting.

A classic dress that looked fierce on the runway, but is just a little bit stupid in real life. That curved line of buttons is a little much, as is the hair. And I don’t dig the red lips when the rest of her makeup is barely visible.

Wash your hair, lose half the makeup, and iron your goddamn clothes. Or at least pay someone to do it for you.

Her prim-and-proper posing is really starting to get old.

It’s different, but it’s not much better. The shoes are a bit ridiculous, the dress is draped kinda sadly, and the purse is way too matchy-matchy. The hair and makeup would be gorgeous on someone twice her age, but on her it’s terribly aging.

Mesh skin-tight boob-squeezing dresses are just the beginning, Miley. You and your fake tan and your Cinderella stripper heels and your hair extensions have a long road ahead, paved by Queens of Hot Disasters Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Hailee, I know it can’t be easy being a fourteen-year-old Oscar nominee, but you have to learn quickly how to surround yourself with the right people. Sweet little girls turn quickly into pole-dancing, racoon-eyed drug addicts. I’m not saying that dresses with swans on them are the gateway drug to this sort of behavior. But they totally are, so stop wearing dresses with swans on them or you are totally losing that Oscar.

I am speechless. I cannot believe it is possible for a woman this hot to look this awful. The hair is sloppy, the makeup is absolutely ridiculous for a person of your porcelain coloring, the capelet should have been an obvious no-no not just to anyone with that large a cup size, but really to anyone with a pulse. The poofy shirt is begging for mockery, and the pants? What am I supposed to do with those pants? Even her FEET look swollen, for God’s sake.

Hey, at least we can’t see her penis.

Hilarious. The wig is bad enough. But now we’re wearing neon bras with neon Urkel-height skirts?

Same concept, but now the bra is a giant bow. I read somewhere that Leona Lewis designed these outfits herself. Can’t say I’m surprised.

She looks like Christian Siriano dressed up as The Little Mermaid.

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More later: Grammys recap! The best from the hottest runway shows at New York Fashion Week! And more!

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