Project Runway is back, and there’s another dozen or so crazies whose names we shall learn and promptly forget.
Age 28 | Delray Beach, FL
Random Tidbit from her Lifetime interview: She was actually on Project Runway (Season 9)! But I don’t remember her even a little bit, because how many boring blonde-ish white girls with names like Amanda am I supposed to be able to keep track of on one show?
ASHLEY NELL TIPTON
Age 24 | San Diego, CA
Random Tidbit: Unlike almost every person who has EVER appeared on this show, Ashley actually has experience dressing women above a sample size! IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME, PROJECT RUNWAY.
Age 24 | Los Angeles, CA
Random Tidbit: He’s kind of a douchebag, as evidenced by his responses to the following questions:
Q: Have you won any awards for your designs?
A: Of course.
Q: Weaknesses as a designer?
A: Not applicable.
Ugh, Blake, I hate you already.
Age 27 | San Francisco, CA
Random Tidbit: She never gives a sentence when a paragraph will do. She likes to talk a big, conceptual game, which I think is a recipe for disaster, but I’m faithless by nature. I will also probably call her Mila more often than not.
Age 31 | Hollywood, CA
Random Tidbit: He answered every question in the barest minimum of words, including the phrase “I don’t have a lot of patience.” I anticipate he’ll spend the first team challenge in passive-aggressive silence before he snaps and goes apeshit at the eleventh hour.
Age 25 | Auckland, New Zealand
Random Tidbit: He seems self-aware and human, perhaps even sweet, which means there’s not a chance in hell he’ll survive reality television. But I love that he answered the question about when he first realized his designer potential with, “Hopefully some day soon.”
Age 37 | Atlanta, GA
Random Tidbit: He’s bringing thirty years of design experience to the table, but he may actually be too polished for this show. His weakness as a designer is “simple, boring everyday clothing,” so if there’s some godforsaken challenge to design yoga pants for Heidi’s new line at Kohl’s, or whatever, Edmond is in trouble. (But that says much more about the problems with Project Runway than it does about Edmond.)
Age 27 | New York, NY
Random Tidbit: She’s a fast-sewing New Yorker with a Parsons degree. I expect her to be Tim Gunn’s teacher’s pet immediately, if not sooner.
Age 27 | New York, NY
Random Tidbit: Hanmiao wins for giving the best answer to the boring “how did you end up auditioning for the show” question: “I got a phone call from Project Runway and followed the requirements to send my paperwork.” Ask a mindless question, get a mindless answer! Also, I have a crush on her glasses/crooked bob/tie-dyed tee combo.
Age 36 | San Francisco, CA
Random Tidbit: Is there a more insufferable way to begin an interview than with, “I had a bit of an Eat, Pray, Love moment about five years back. Admittedly it lacked the grandeur of the Julia Roberts big screen version…” Jake, you’re already maxxing out your obnoxious quota, and THE SHOW HASN’T STARTED YET.
JOSEPH CHARLES POLI
Age 37 | Las Vegas, NV
Random Tidbit: He says his strengths are silhouettes, fit, and tailoring, but he doesn’t want to do menswear. He says his weaknesses are use of volume and color, but how can you be great at silhouettes and bad at volume? Don’t those go hand in hand? It’s okay, Joseph. Maybe you’re just bad at answering questions and you’ll reveal yourself to be a fashion badass. Here’s hoping.
Age 31 | Boston, MA
Random Tidbit: If she’s not medically required to wear that helmet, then this is maybe the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.
Age 29 | Chicago, IL
Random Tidbit: I love her little Chanel-like blazer, but she says time management is an issue for her. If that’s the case, well, it was nice knowing you, Laurie.
Age 28 | Austin, TX
Random Tidbit: She’s already my favorite, if only because she actually had the balls to answer Lifetime’s questions honestly, even if it meant insulting the show. Re: the stilt walkers challenge, Lindsey said, “oof, that was rough to watch,” and truer words have ne’er been spoken. I know anyone willing to say even a slightly negative thing about the show has absolutely no chance of making it to Fashion Week, but fuck it. Team Lindsey.
Age 32 | Savannah, GA
Random Tidbit: Her biggest fear as a design is “dying broke.” Merline, darling, that can happen no matter how talented you are, so… maybe become an investment banker or something? IDK. But keep those career options option if the whole dying broke thing is a dealbreaker for you.
Age 34 | Mumbai, India
Random Tidbit: He hates team challenges because “I cannot work under anyone nor can I assign tasks.” Cool. At least one of those skills is required for just about every job on the planet that doesn’t isolate you in some kind of bunker, so, good luck with that, buddy.