Okay, so, we’re doing this.
DIANE KRUGER vs. LILY COLLINS
Diane: Hmph. Dramatic black textured lady-pants? Real original.
Lily: Sorry, I don’t converse with people who lack strikingly bold eyebrows.
Diane: I could draw my brows on with Sharpie too, darling. I simply choose not to.
Lily: How dare you! I have shaped these to perfection!
Diane: What? I can’t hear you over THAT FUCKING PRINT.
Lily: Oh, but your feathers are so goddamn subtle?
Diane: I’ll have you know that I can make feathers look very natural.
Lily: Well, you do look like a turkey to me.
Diane: Honey, we’re at the same party right now. Are you sure you want to start name-calling when I can just reach over and throttle you?
Lily: Bring it.
MIRANDA KERR vs. KIRSTEN DUNST
Miranda: Love your shoes.
Kirsten: Shut up – I love YOUR shoes!
Miranda: Well, I’m glad you’re inspired by my style, but you could have asked before stealing my dress and setting it on fire.
Kirsten: But the singed look really works for me, doesn’t it?
Miranda: Did you just accidentally eat a lemon?
Kirsten: Um, why the fuck would you ask me that?
Miranda: Oh, nevermind. I guess that’s just your face.
Kirsten: These shoes are vintage. Please shut the fuck up so I don’t have to ruin one by kicking your ass.
Miranda: I’m more worried about you smothering me to death with your breasts.
Kirsten: You should be.
OLIVIA PALERMO vs. ZOE KRAVITZ
Olivia: *whispers* Maybe if I keep my sunglasses on, no one will know I’m actually a robot.
Zoe: Excuse me, what?
Olivia: NOTHING. MY EYES AREN’T FORCED INTO THIS POSITION BY LASER BEAMS. I ABSOLUTELY AM HUMAN. WHAT DO YOU MEAN.
Zoe: I… are you okay?
Olivia: *mutters* I was not manufactured in a lab by Karl Lagerfeld, Anna Wintour, and a pile of feathers.
Zoe: … well… good, I guess?
Olivia: I AM TOTALLY A PERSON. I AM NOT A ROBOT PROGRAMMED TO STEAL YOUR STYLE AND/OR SOUL.
Zoe: Psh. Like you could ever steal my style.
Olivia: MISSION. ACCOMPLISHED.
Zoe: Oh, shit.
LÉA SEYDOUX vs. JESSICA CHASTAIN
Léa: Bonjour, Jessica!
Jessica: Can you give me just a second? As you can tell by my face, I’m midway through reacting to the sight of a particularly unimpressive penis.
Léa: But of course. Go right ahead.
Jessica: Ah, that’s much better, thanks.
Léa: So – when does zee murder start?
Léa: This is like Hunger Games, but for fashion, non?
Jessica: Well, yes, but we don’t actually MURDER.
Léa: Are you sure? Because I’m pretty sure I’m SLAYING right now.
Jessica: Touché, Ms. Seydoux. Touché.