March Fabness 2016, Round 1: Gucci Bracket

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! I promise this post is really easy to read while you’re blackout drunk. 

LAVERNE COX vs. SIENNA MILLER

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Laverne in Tom Ford; Sienna in Balenciaga

Laverne: OH HAIIIIII

Sienna: Well, aren’t we chipper?

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Laverne in Prabal Gurung; Sienna in Gucci

Laverne: Whaaat, nooo. You are!

Sienna: Seriously, girl, what’s your deal?

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Laverne in Ines Di Santo; Sienna in Valentino

Laverne: IDK. I def did NOT have six Irish car bombs on the way to this event, so it’s surely not that.

Sienna: Pull yourself together, girl. We’re all wasted (I mean, you only need to look at my hair to know that) but –

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Laverne in Calvin Klein; Sienna in Lanvin

Laverne: Hahaha. With those increasingly hideous hairdos – this one actually looks like it’s trying to run away from your forehead – you’re trying to tell ME to pull it together?

Sienna: It is NOT running away from my forehead. The higher the hair, the closer to God!

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Laverne in Elizabeth Kennedy; Sienna in Marc Jacobs

Laverne: No, darling. The longer the train, the closer to royalty.

Sienna: I liked you better when you were too drunk to function.

EMILY BLUNT vs. NICOLE KIDMAN

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Emily in Marc Jacobs; Nicole in Valentino

Emily: So, how is your St. Patrick’s Day going, Nicole?

Nicole: I’m sorry, what’s that? I don’t think we have that where I come from.

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Emily in Prada, Nicole in Mugler

Emily: Really? I’m pretty positive that they have St. Patrick’s Day in Australia.

Nicole: Oh. Right. Australia. Yes. That’s where I’m from.

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Emily in Giambattista Valli; Nicole in Alexander McQueen

Emily: What?

Nicole: Nothing at all! I was just saying, yes, of course, I’m definitely from Australia…

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Emily in Calvin Klein; Nicole in Armani

Emily: Well, yeah. Pretty much everyone knows that.

Nicole: Right! So we’re all clear on that. I’m from Australia. *under her breath* And definitely not a yet-to-be-discovered planet with a frozen tundra climate that made me the ice queen you see today.

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Emily in Dior; Nicole in Louis Vuitton

Emily: Did  you say something?

Nicole: What? No. Never mind.

BLAKE LIVELY vs. FAN BINGBING

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Blake in Michael Kors; Fan in Elie Saab

Blake: This sucks.

Fan: What? No! This is fun.

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Blake in Chanel; Fan in Ralph & Russo

Blake: No, all of this is stupid bullshit.

Fan: It is NOT. March Fabness is magical and wonderful!

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Blake in Roksanda; Fan in Christopher Bu

Blake: Nope. There are SO many places I’d rather be than here.

Fan: Really? Like where?

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Blake in Ralph & Russo; Fan in Ralph & Russo

Blake: Well, I’d certainly rather be naked in my living room.

Fan: Seriously? Why?

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Blake in Monique Lhuillier; Fan in Stéphane Rolland

Blake: Um, I’m married to RYAN REYNOLDS. It’s actually astonishing that I’m ever wearing clothes.

Fan: Well, I can’t argue with that.

ALICIA VIKANDER vs. EMMA ROBERTS

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Alicia in Proenza Schouler; Emma in Peter Pilotto

Alicia: Hi, Emma! Lovely to see you.

Emma: Hi! Um… who are you?

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Alicia in Louis Vuitton; Emma in Vera Wang

Alicia: How dare you! Who are YOU?

Emma: … You know who I am. You just said my name like literally one minute ago.

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Alicia in Louis Vuitton; Emma in Jonathan Simkhai

Alicia: I took a shot in the dark. You’re all named Emma around here. Which one are you again? Not the Harry Potter girl.

Emma: Are you serious?

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Alicia in Valentino; Emma in Jenny Packham

Alicia: Are you the Spiderman one? You look different than I remember.

Emma: I’m not the Harry Potter Emma OR the Spiderman Emma.

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Alicia in Louis Vuitton; Emma in Christine Alcalay

Alicia: Oh. How sad for you. Anyway, I have to go pick my Oscar, so, bye-ee.

Emma: I hate you.


© Democracy Diva, 2016.
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2 responses to March Fabness 2016, Round 1: Gucci Bracket

  1. I have no idea who Fan is, but wow, the woman has style…if she keeps this up, she will be my overall winner by a mile.

    • democracydiva – Author

      I absolutely adore her style. She’s a very famous actress in China but has only been in a few American films – I only learned who she was because of some fashion blogs that cover more international stars. But apparently she’s THE It Girl in China. And I can see why!

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