March Fabness 2016: Final Four

Only two will make it out alive. 

FAN BINGBING vs. ZENDAYA COLEMAN

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Fan in Valentino; Zendaya in Vivienne Westwood

Fan: Oh, are you still here?

Zendaya: *stares off into space*

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Fan in Ralph & Russo; Zendaya in Michael Kors

Fan: Excuse me, but I’m trying to insult you.

Zendaya: Oh, I’m sorry.

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Fan in Elie Saab; Zendaya in Solace London

Fan: If you could just listen when I’m shit-talking, that would be great.

Zendaya: I didn’t realize I was still required to communicate with lesser species.

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Fan in Ralph & Russo; Zendaya in Self-Portrait

Fan: I’m sorry, what was that?

Zendaya: LESSER. SPECIES.

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Fan in Ralph & Russo; Zendaya in Michael Kors

Fan: Where the fuck do you get off?

Zendaya: *gazes out the window*

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Fan in Ralph & Russo; Zendaya in Michael Kors

Fan: Hello?! I’m ranting here!

Zendaya: Hm? What?

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Fan in Marchesa; Zendaya in Marchesa

Fan: You’re making this really difficult.

Zendaya: Well, that’s too bad.

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Fan in Stéphane Rolland; Zendaya in Marchesa

Fan: What exactly happened to make you such an asshole?

Zendaya: You’re joking, right?

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Fan in Christopher Bu; Zendaya in Fausto Puglisi

Fan: No. Why are you acting like you own the entire universe?

Zendaya: Isn’t it obvious? I GOT TO BE IN LEMONADE.

LUPITA NYONG’O vs. CATE BLANCHETT

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Lupita in Oscar de la Renta; Cate in Proenza Schouler

Lupita: So.

Cate: Hi, Lupita, how are you?

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Lupita in Boss; Cate in Armani Privé

Lupita: “Cate,” is it?

Cate: Why are you using sarcastic quotation marks?

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Lupita in Zac Posen; Cate in McQueen

Lupita: You just don’t look like a Cate to me.

Cate: Well… I don’t really have a response to that.

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Lupita in Roland Mouret; Cate in Marc Jacobs

Lupita: No, you seem more like you’d have a biblical name.

Cate: What?

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Lupita in Proenza Schouler; Cate in Aouadi Couture

Lupita: Mary, maybe?

Cate: No…

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Lupita in Gucci; Cate in Giorgio Armani

Lupita: Nah, you’re a little more of a Rachel.

Cate: Uh, I guess.

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Lupita in Jason Wu; Cate in Giles

Lupita: No, I know. You’re a REBECCA.

Cate: Nuh uh!

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Lupita in Alexandre Vauthier; Cate in Givenchy

Lupita: So you’re saying you prefer “Becky”?

Cate: *silence*

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Lupita in Gucci; Cate in Armani Privé

Lupita: So you admit it!

Cate: Fine. It’s true. I AM BECKY WITH THE GOOD HAIR.


© Democracy Diva, 2016.
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