LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLEEEEEEEEEEE
JANELLE MONAE vs. HAILEE STEINFELD
Hailee: Oh, shit.
Hailee: This is really unfair.
Hailee: Nobody TOLD me I was supposed to prepare a feminist manifesto!
Hailee: Seriously, how is this even fair?
Hailee: This competition is goddamn RIGGED.
Hailee: Do I even get a chance to develop MY empowering monologue, or is this just the Janelle Show?
Hailee: I truly don’t know how to respond to that.
ZACHARY QUINTO vs. DIANE KRUGER
Zachary: So, Diane.
Diane: What? Make it quick, I’m making this face because I have to pee.
Zachary: How are… things?
Diane: You wanna narrow that down a little for me?
Zachary: I’m sure the last few months have been hard for you…
Diane: Ugh. Not this again.
Diane: I swear, every man I’ve met for six months just wants to know if I’m still single.
Zachary: No – I –
Diane: I’m flattered, Zachary, really.
Zachary: No, you DEFINITELY don’t understand –
Diane: Yes, my breakup with Joshua Jackson was difficult. But no, I am not interested in sleeping with you.
Zachary: Well, that’s a relief. Anyway… is Pacey seeing anyone?
Diane: You have GOT to be kidding me.
EMMA STONE vs. TARAJI P. HENSON
Emma: Taraji! It is an absolute honor to compete against you.
Emma: Oh – I’m not, er, “playing” you. I just really admire your work.
Emma: Oh – um – I’m not sure what to say without offending you, then –
Emma: If we could just sit down and talk about this, I’m sure –
Emma: But I only want to –
Emma: That is just uncalled for, and I –
Emma: Fine! Fuck you anyhow, lady!
EVAN RACHEL WOOD vs. RUTH NEGGA
Ruth: Uh… haha! That’s funny, Evan!
Ruth: Um, can we drop this? You’re starting to make me uncomfortable.
Ruth: Let’s try a different tactic. How would you describe my fashion sense?
Ruth: I still can’t decide if you’re crazy or just a straight-up asshole.
Ruth: Definitely leaning towards crazy.
Ruth: I’m wearing Valentino, for God’s sake! How is that not making an effort?
Ruth: We get it. You’re weird. Can I go now?