It’s been forever since we’ve gotten our bitch on, dear readers.
I know you’ve just recovered from the fabulosity of last week’s world premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2, but it’s time for these Brits to hop on their broomsticks and take a transatlantic journey to New York City.
Who’s fab and who’s fugly this week?
It’s New York Fashion Week! And although I’m not blogging about the collections quite yet, there’s still a lot of fabulous happening on the red carpet, in the front rows of the fashion shows, and in the magazines this week. So let’s get started!
Editorials: Divas in the News
I am fully in love with this picture. Glamour should have chosen it for the cover, but of course they went with one where she’s not wearing pants. Sigh. Regardless, there’s something so fabulously A Chorus Line about this outfit. Totally what you’d expect a Broadway star to be lounging around in on her day off. And the bangs, the eyes, the lips – she’s looking totally gorgeous.
Lady Gaga as the Statue of Liberty, half naked, in front of a shopping cart, with Marc Jacobs sitting on a television next to her. I can’t say I get it, but I certainly like it.
I am loving this cover. Perfect pose, perfect make-up, fabulous nails, and her smokin’ body is covered in raw meat. Gaga knows how to get people to pay attention, and this is a perfect example of that quality. And if anybody can rock a raw meat ensemble, it’s Lady Gaga. She makes it look like fashion.
The Venice Film Festival
I don’t like the hair and I probably wouldn’t have chosen white shoes, but everything else about this look is simply gorgeous. The dress is sexy as hell but not revealing; it feels like classic red carpet Hollywood but has all sorts of tricks and complexities to it. The straps and shoulders and the bodice are just stunning, and as usual, Natalie looks like an Israeli goddess.
Why, Jessica? Why is your skirt so much longer in the back than in the front? Is this a white trash themed costume party and your dress is a coy reference to the mullet? There is just nothing attractive about a mullet skirt, honey.
That right-to-the-elbow sleeve length keeps popping up and I’m fully obsessed with it. And although this is a blah color, Michelle is absolutely rocking this. I’m a little over the neck bow trend – Kate Beckinsale and Carey Mulligan wore them all over Cannes – but I still think this is just precious and classy and it still maintains Michelle’s hipster-chic aesthetic.
Perfection. I’d wear that dress in a heartbeat, and those shoes are killer. She could not be cuter.
Parisian chic at its best, our very own Fleur Delacour is rocking a look that always looks better on French girls. A silk shirt with a giant bow tucked into a blue skirt, plus sex hair and barely-there makeup? Simply beautiful.
Fashion Elite at New York Fashion Week
Oy. Well, at least the shoes are cute. The rest is just too much. Sloppy hair and all that fabric? Plus a belt over it? She looks like she’s in a slutty chicken suit.
I’m pretty sure I’ve never before seen Blake in an outfit that didn’t expose her boobs and/or legs. So I respect the attempt to cover up, and the Mary Jane shoes are awesome, but this dress is beyond tacky. And blow dry your fucking hair before you go to a Chanel fashion week party. Show some respect.
Okay, you win. I’m obsessed with this. Showing a lot of leg and a bit of boob, like Lively always should. That print is beyond gorgeous, the bracelets are kickass, the shoes are fierce, and I like the makeup. I think she’s always absurdly lazy about her hair, which is why she’s rocking a pony, but at least it works.
Well, this is fugly. Like, so fugly I wouldn’t even wear it as a Halloween costume. It’s glorified underwear, and worse than that, it just looks cheap and tacky. If you want to go out on the town half-naked, so be it, but your outfit still has to be chic and fabulous, and this is NOT.
Another epic print and adorable silhouette by the lovely and talented Christian Siriano. (Although the blogosphere is saying his collection this week was underwhelming… but we’ll get to that in a few posts.) I love this dress because it’s effortless – it does all the work for Maggie. Just throw on heels and eyeliner and you’re ready to go.
Miscellaneous Fabulous and Fugly
Hello, teeny little waist! America Ferrera looks completely amazing in this dress. I’m obsessed with the sleeves and collar, the skinny belt is perfect, the length is super-flattering, and the accessories are simple and perfect. I think every professional woman should have this dress hanging in their closet.
Jessica is modeling her own design, so there is no one to blame for this atrocity except for Jessica herself. I am getting physically ill at the sight of that cheap denim with the tacky gold zippers and buttons. This is denim at its worst.
It’s pretty easy to always look great when you’re blonde and blue-eyed and approximately eleven pounds, like 30 Rock‘s Cerie. But Katrina keeps cropping up on best-dressed lists, and this dress proves she deserves it. Another adorable and unique print, which is always nice to see. She could use a necklace, bracelet, or purse – just something to make her look less naked. But this is a fabulous little number.
What, what, what are you doing? Look at those leggings. Look at your choices.
The Democracy Diva
I’ve blogged about dresses nearly identical to this twice so far – Chloe Sevigny rocked one at the Met Gala, and Eva Mendes wore it in July 2010. So I’m a little bit over this, but I still think a long-sleeved cocktail dress is a wonderful thing. And even though it’s overdone, the color and print are beautiful. But can we please talk about Lea’s hair? This better be for Glee, because if Lea is actually choosing to wear those horribly distracting highlights/extensions, this may be the end of my love affair with her. (Just kidding. I’ll always love you, Lea.)
I’m working on your fashion week posts as we speak! Stay up-to-date by following me on twitter @democracydiva!
Glee Does Comic-Con
Heather (Brittany): I’m not loving those bangs; I think her signature Cheerios high ponytail is much more flattering. The outfit is cute enough, if a bit amateurish.
Kevin (Artie): This boy can sing, dance, act, and DRESS. I wish other young actors took the risks that Kevin takes with his wardrobe. The shirt is stunning, the suspenders are adorable, and he looks unique and chic, if a bit over-dressed for Comic-Con. I’m loving it.
Naya (Santana): Can’t go wrong in a cute floral sundress. Effortless and adorable.
Amber (Mercedes): Cute top and sweater, but it’d look a thousand times better without that belt.
Chris (Kurt): He’s a self-professed comic book geek, so I’m glad he’s showing his roots at this event. But I think he could have paired this outfit with something a little more fashion-forward, since he usually dresses incredibly well.
Jenna (Tina): Adorable dress, great hair. And the nude shoes trend is super-hot right now, so kudos for catching on.
Love the Girl, Hate the Dress
Like the Democracy Diva, Anna Kendrick loves her some Marchesa. (The starlet donned Marchesa at the 2010 Golden Globes, at the Eclipse LA premiere, at the Up in the Air Toronto premiere, and more.) Unlike the Diva, Ms. Kendrick doesn’t seem to understand that some Marchesa dresses work far better on the runway than they do on the red carpet. This is one of them.
The lopsided bust, which I’m sure would work fabulously on a 6 foot tall, size zero model, is just unfortunate on Kendrick’s petite frame. The black beading against the blue print isn’t particularly attractive, nor are the proportions of the dress, which make Anna look short and squat instead of long and lean. And those shoes? What drag queen told my girl Fritzy to wear those shoes – especially with that dress? A rookie mistake. And once again, I’d like to remind young Hollywood: If your hair is up and your dress is low-cut, WEAR A NECKLACE. I’m disappointed by her lack of bling. But I do love Anna Kendrick, and I hope she bounces back from this fashion mishap quickly.
The Best and Worst of Biel
I’ve never thought Jessica was as beautiful as most people seem to think she is. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a hottie for sure, but she’s got awfully harsh features and she lacks the poise needed to pull off high fashion gowns. But I’m eating my words from the neck down, because I think she looks incredible here, at the London premiere of The A-Team. I normally don’t support sheer gowns on the red carpet, but I can forgive it because this particular gown is just stunning. It fits her remarkably well, making her waist look tinier and her boobs look bigger – and she had a great figure to begin with! I would’ve done black shoes instead of red, but they’re still a good choice. And let’s hear it for a girl who isn’t afraid to bring out the bling. Loving those bracelets.
Now, the hair is a hot mess. How many times do I have to say this – you can’t go all-out with the dress and skimp on the hair and make-up! That frizzy bedhead is not appropriate for such a beautiful gown. But I still give her props for a remarkable effort.
Well, she’s back to looking stiff and uncomfortable on the red carpet, which is a huge step down. Not that she looked particularly cosy in the Valli gown, but there’s something very cold and unnatural about her in this Versace gown. The gown itself is beautiful, but I just don’t think she’s wearing it well. I think it’s a bit too ornate and vintage-looking for her tastes – she’s very sportswear, Americana, bold colors and simplicity. This gown is anything but. And those shoes were a horrible choice. Whoever invented the teardrop-shaped eyelet peeptoe should obviously be shot. And the silver shoe with the blue dress is very mother-of-the-bride. I’d love to see this dress on Anne Hathaway or another starlet with more traditional, glitzy tastes (and the poise to pull them off), but something about this gown on Jessica just isn’t working for me.
It’s a shame, because she looks so much more at ease here, but she’s wearing a glorified potato sack. That sleeve is simply dreadful – unless your arm is in a sling, there’s really no need for that much fabric on the sleeve. And the dress itself is shapeless and dull, like a poorly-made toga. Those shoes look navy, and even if they’re black, they’re clearly not the right black for that dress. And I hate the way the fabric gathers around her waist – it’s unflattering and downright sloppy. Definitely the worst out of the three.
Now headlining in Vegas: Fergie, the alien warrior princess turned stripper! Oh, Fergie, you can wear whatever the fuck you want, just please stop making music.
Also, it is just me, or does her head seem unnaturally large? Seriously, she looks like a Bratz doll.
Delhi Couture Week 2010
Congrats to Delhi on hosting their first ever couture fashion week! I encourage you to check out Tom & Lorenzo for more pics from the runway show; everything is so beautiful and so different from Western fashion.
This couture gown by Manav Gagwani is simply magnificent. I love that you can feel the Indian influence, but you can also see that the designer was inspired by Italian and French couture as well. Every single fabric used is breathtaking. The glitz and glamour of the shiny, glittering fabrics and lace is almost overwhelming. I love the different colors used – iced periwinkles and lilacs, lavenders and silvers. Everything about this gown screams couture. I look forward to many more Delhi Couture Weeks in the future!
The Rapidly Aging Cameron
I ask because I care: Cameron, what the fuck is happening with your face? This is clearly a bad Botox job or worse – the skin is pulled awfully tight in some places, while other spots appear swollen and puffy. That can’t be intentional, and it doesn’t seem natural, either. But if you’re going to let your face fall to pieces, at least sport a fabulous outfit to detract from your train-wrecked skin. This sad lump of fabric is not doing you any favors. It has no shape, making you look unfortunately bulbous. Sure, you’ve got killer legs, but this outfit hides your bust, waist, and hips, like you’re just a misshapen potato on two legs. Fire your plastic surgeon and your stylist immediately. You might be 37, but you’ve got the potential to look 30, and right now you’re leaning towards 50.
God Bless America
Business chic all the way for Ms. Ferrera! The dress is adorable and professional, flattering and youthful. Though I do need to give her my lecture on NO DARK TOE-NAIL POLISH ON THE RED CARPET. Ugh. The make-up artist was a little heavy-handed, but America looks absolutely radiant, and every professional woman should own a dress like this. Also, that hair is hella sexy.
Oh, Serena. I know your career goals are to bare as much of your tits as possible on every red carpet, but you have broken the two Golden Rules of Public Titty-Baring:
1. Thou shalt not show any part of the nipple. (This includes even the slightest bit of mysterious skin that seems areola-esque.)
2. Thou shalt not neglect the rest of the outfit just because the titties are bared.
That top is so naked, it looks like it must be on backwards. And those pants? Seriously? We’re wearing high-waisted, wrinkled baggy pants now? Because I simply refuse to support that. And what’s with the shoes? The pants cover up the top ankle strap – that’s clearly not a good sign. And the belt was just a mistake. Aren’t belts supposed to like, wrap around you? Not just poke out awkwardly? Though I guess you can use it as a weapon to fight any comic book geeks who can’t stop staring at your almost nipple. Oh, and brush your hair, for God’s sake. And lose the eight different kinds of bracelets, you look like a tween after a shopping spree at Claire’s.
Hello, Peggy! This is by far the best Ms. Moss has ever looked. She donned this glitzy and glamorous dress for the premiere screening of Mad Men‘s season four in Times Square. The hair is absolutely amazing – thank god we’re saying fairwell to Miss Olson’s signature ponytail! The curly bob is totally chic and works wonders for her features. And the dress! The perfect color, a wonderful fit, and a phenomenal choice for Elisabeth. I love the sassy smile on her face, as if she’s thinking, “Bitches, the days of Peggy the ugly ducking are OVER! This is Elisabeth Moss, glamour queen! Bow down!” I’m looking forward to seeing more like this from the adorable Ms. Moss.