Posts tagged:michelle obama

The Week in Celebrity Fashion: Merry Christmas Edition!

A very merry Christmas to those readers who celebrate it, and a happy new year to all! Let’s celebrate the only way we know how: with a bit of fabulous and a whole lot of bitchery.

Heather Morris at a Flirt Cosmetics event in New York

It’s Brittany, bitch! Heather Morris is looking mighty fabulous in her simple but chic dress, paired with a fierce bracelet and classically beautiful hair and makeup. And I’m told this Glee star is rocking a pair nude fishnets, which are basically my favorite accessory in the universe. Very classic, old-Hollywood glamour.

Florence Welch at the AllSaints holiday party in New York

Here is the incomparable Florence Welch of Florence + The Machine, rocking a leather jacket, many scarves, fabulous camel-brown tights and delectable shoes. And let’s get real – with hair like that, who needs pants?

First Lady Michelle Obama in vintage Norman Norell at the Christmas in Washington concert

The First Lady looks festive but formal in her fabulously girly gown – but more importantly, how fierce does the First Grandma look?! She must be related to this Diva just because she’s rocking heels and a short lacy dress at age 73. (Or perhaps that just means she’s related to Cher.)

President Obama with First Lady Michelle Obama in Marc Jacobs

MObama is sex on a stick in this hot little Marc Jacobs number, and the blingtastic earrings are to die for. The Obamas are posing with an a cappella choir, which is too cute for words. Even cuter is that lucky little queer in the corner whose face clearly says, “Oh my GAWD, I’m totally brushing the First Lady’s boob with my shoulder!”

Kate Middleton in Temperley London at the Christmas Spectacular in London

Delicious. Throw a crown on this bitch already, because she’s clearly ready for the throne.

Emily Blunt in a Roksanda Ilincic dress and Jimmy Choo shoes

I love these colors – they remind me so much of Leanne Marshall’s Project Runway finale collection, very soothing and oceanic. I can’t say I love the dress itself, which has a few too many design elements and some really wackadoodle draping. But I think that thin black lace strap is totally sexy.

Mary-Kate Olsen in Culver City, California

FIERCEST. UMBRELLA. EVER.

Christina Aguilera at the Berlin premiere of Burlesque

Dreadful color (at least with her skin tone, that lipstick, and the Burlesque logo behind her), a truly atrocious fit (seriously, what is up with that bustline?), and the hair and makeup are as trannylicious as ever. Christina is nothing if not consistent.

Cher and Christina Aguilera at a Burlesque photo call in Berlin

I’m actually fully obsessed with this picture, in which two divas pretend that they do not in fact loathe each other. But Cher looks fierce in her leggings and jacket (much more age-appropriate than some of her other recent get-ups, but also a lot more boring). and from the neck down, Christina looks okay. I’m down with the exposed bra because it looks sort of accidental, and it’s Burlesque, for God’s sake. When you’re co-starring with Cher in a movie called Burlesque, exposed undergarments are basically mandatory.

Lady Gaga leaving the Chez André restaurant in Paris

From the waist up, this is the most beautiful jacket I’ve ever seen. I wish the bottom half didn’t look like an old lady’s nightgown, but the top is so exquisite that I almost don’t care. That pearly, greyish pink is just perfect, and it looks particularly lovely with Gaga’s coloring. I’m over the John Lennon glasses, though. I’m ready for a new eyewear trend.

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Check back this week for The Best Dressed of the Year!

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© Democracy Diva, 2010.

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The Month in Celebrity Fashion: Part II

Because you can’t get enough celebrity fashion – enjoy Part II of The Month in Celebrity Fashion!

Lady Gaga in a chastity belt

Lady Gaga once had an excellently absurd quote that she was afraid to have sex with men because she feared her creativity would escape out of her vagina. Well, Gaga, I guess you’ve solved that problem!

President Obama with First Lady Michelle Obama in Naeem Khan at the Kennedy Center Honors in Washington, DC

Whoa, MObama! This is the best the First Lady has looked in quite awhile. I absolutely love this gown and I think it was the perfect choice for the always fabulous Michelle Obama. They really do make a beautiful couple.

Prince William with Kate Middleton in Reiss

Speaking of beautiful couples, here’s the official engagement photos of Prince Will and No-Longer-Waity Katie. I’m still drooling over the fact that this girl gets to wear Princess Di’s ring. She’s absolutely stunning, and looks like the pretty princess she soon will be in this inexpensive white Issa dress.

Olivia Wilde in Emilio Pucci at the Hollywood premiere of TRON: Legacy

Kristen Bell at the London premiere of Burlesque

Who wears a lab coat to the Burlesque premiere? Unless this is an homage to Brad and Janet’s lab coats in Rocky Horror, this is unacceptable to wear to such a dragtastic movie premiere. Cher’s 60 years old and still wore nothing (see below). Kristen, live a little. Wear a corset.

Gwen Stefani in Prada at the Kennedy Center Honors in Washington, DC

Like Christina Aguilera, Gwen Stefani seems to turn into a drag version of herself as she ages. This look is a little much, even for Gwen. She looks like a coked-out Disney princess.

Julie Bowen at the final broadcast of Larry King Live

Claire Dunphy is totally smokin’. It’s easy to forget this when she often shares the screen with Sofia Vergara’s breasts, but Julie Bowen is a total goddess. I’m not sure why there was a red carpet for the final broadcast of Larry King Live, but she’s nailing it.

Krysten Ritter in Alberta Ferreti at the Hollywood Style Awards

Remember this girl? She’s kind of in nothing and everything. You might recognize her from Gilmore Girls, Gap ads, random rom-coms, and the like. But I always thought she looks like Anne Hathaway’s less-beautiful sister, which I sort of dug. Anyway, this actually looks really beautiful on her porcelain skin. I actually think I own a Forever 21 dress with a knockoff of this print on it. Anyway, she may be a Z list celebrity, but if she keeps dressing like this, I think I could accept her actually becoming a person.

Emma Stone in a Roksanda Ilincic dress and Brian Atwood pumps at a Trevor Project event in Hollywood

Emma Stone is blonde, and I’m not happy. I know it’s for a role, but when fellow firecrotch Lindsay Lohan went blonde, she looked like shit and proved definitively that other than Nicole Kidman, natural redheads should not go blonde. Now Emma Stone just looks like a much healthier version of LiLo. Anyway, the dress is sort of cute. A little craftsy, Tim Gunn might say it looks like student work, but she’s working it.

Darren Criss at a Trevor Project event in Hollywood

When are they making him a full-time Glee cast member? This kid is unstoppably adorable.

And in case that photo isn’t gay enough for you…

Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Neil Patrick Harris, and Darren Criss at a Trevor Project event

The three cutest gays on television, promoting a great cause. What could be better?

Anna Kendrick in Zuhair Murad at a Trevor Project event in Hollywood

Anna Kendrick loves her skin-tone dresses, and I’m sick of it. I’m not loving the way the strap forms a sort of sling around her boob. This is just so pale and washed-out. Bring a little joy into the wardrobe, Anna.

Christina Ricci in Zac Posen at the New York Stage & Film gala

For me, this is the glammed-up version of Anna Kendrick’s dress. Same concept, with the cream color fading into grey, and it even keeps that sling-over-the-boobs idea, but this is so much more stylish. The black really adds some volume to the dress, and Christina’s hair and makeup have never looked better. Loving the glamorous bracelet and earrings, too.

Victoria Beckham in her own design at the British Fashion Awards

Oh, good lord. I still don’t understand why people think she a) looks good in clothes or b) makes clothes that look good. This photo is proof that neither is true. I worry that her skin is just going to melt off her face (if she doesn’t die from starvation first).

Fergie in Jimmy Choo shoes in London

I want to make a furry/Fergie pun, but they all sound awful, so I’ll spare you. Ferg, nix the spray tan and the green hairy coat. Your feet shouldn’t be a different color than your legs, and your coat shouldn’t be the same color as split pea soup.

Rachel Bilson in Christian Dior at the Spike TV Video Game Awards

This is why Rachel Bilson is my girl. She can take a little prairie dress and make it look trendy yet effortless. Do I spot little bows on the ankles of those shoes? If so, I WANT. And I’m glad the styling is minimal – nobody wants to look too dressed up for the Spike TV Video Game Awards.

Cher in Julien MacDonald at the London premiere of Burlesque

All hail Cher, who can do whatever the fuck she wants, because she’s Cher. She looks like Florence Welch’s slutty, dramatic mother. She also looks phenomenal for her age.

Cher in Julien MacDonald at the London premiere of Burlesque

Because who says you can’t wear a 100% see-through dress at 60?

Taylor Swift in Jenny Packham at the CMT Artists of the Year awards

I love Taylor Swift’s hair. It’s always been beautiful, but those very long blonde curls she rocked were very girly and immature. Now the hair is darker and redder and T-Swift is playing with fun lengths and styles, and she’s never looked better. Still gorgeous, but a more mature gorgeous.

Jessica Simpson in Mondo Guerra

A big “fuck you” to the Project Runway judges, because we’re all still in denial that Mondo lost to Gretchen. Jessica’s t-shirt is straight out of Mondo’s finale collection, and she’s rocking it with her shrunken blazer, giant purse, jeans, and boots. Perfect starlet-in-the-airport style, and the best this girl has looked in years.

Christina Hendricks in CH Carolina Herrera

The fabric is gorgeous, but could there be a less flattering silhouette? Joan looks downright dumpy, when she’s actually a fox. Just another case of a designer who can’t make clothes for real women.

Elisabeth Moss in Bibhu Mohapatra at the International Emmy Awards in New York

Okay, Peggy, I get that you’re recently divorced and discovering how totally cute you are now that the Mad Men team has finally started letting you look attractive. But that’s no excuse for those hair extensions. Those need to go immediately. The dress is nice, but it’s another case of a pale girl getting washed out by her pale dress. I love the lace on the shoulder, though.

January Jones at Donatella Versace's Fashion Fund launch

Betty Draper, eat a sandwich.

Ashley Olsen in a Balenciaga sweater at Google's boutiques.com launch party in New York

I’m obsessed. Great colors, perfect fall-winter transition, simple and lovely hair and makeup. Not a fan of the shoes, but I’d love to curl up in that fabulous peach sweater.

Chloe Sevigny at the New York premiere of Somewhere

Say what you will about Nikki Grant, but at least the girl wears pants. Seriously, Chloe, I love shirts as dresses as much as the next girl, but this is dumb. And you’re ruining a totally cute shirt.

Joel Madden with Nicole Richie in Marchesa

Apparently Joel Madden and Nicole Richie weren’t married already, which I totally did not know. And apparently they did get married, or have one of their wedding ceremonies, or something like that. Anyway, this is one of her wedding dresses, and I think it’s phenomenal. I’m so glad it’s not a saggy-silky flapper dress like she and Rachel Zoe tend to wear. I love the long-sleeved lace, how tight it is on her teeny little frame, and the giant skirt that only works on a woman as skinny as a model. It’s a truly fabulous dress.

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© Democracy Diva, 2010.

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The Weekly Fashion Recap

Fabulous FLOTUS

First Lady Michelle Obama in Jason Wu Resort 2009

Classic Americana worn by classy Americans. MObama looks gorgeous in blue Jason Wu. The bows around her waist are cute, and I love the way the dress accentuates her fabulous figure, as if to say I’ve got hips and I love it! Those famous arms (Tom & Lorenzo hilariously referred to them as the “First Guns”) are looking toned as ever, and of course the chunky bracelets are super-trendy. I could do without the shoes, but at least they show that she’s making the effort to have fun with her wardrobe, and isn’t that the point of fashion?

Also, can I just say that I love how often the Obamas are photographed holding hands? As a child raised in the Clinton years, it’s so refreshing to see a First Couple that’s actually in love.

Another Disaster from Rihanna

Are dresses that require a generator becoming a trend? Because I refuse to get behind that. First it was Katy Perry at the Met Gala, now it’s Rihanna. All my least favorite celebrities are donning light-up costumes – next thing you know, Kristen Stewart will mope around the red carpet in a light bulb dress with her hair looking like shit. I’m not sure what concerns me more – the light-up dress, or the fact that her hair color is brighter than the light bulbs. Ladies, reduce your carbon footprint and your fashion faux pas, and nix the light-up dresses, please.

Floral and Fierce

This Diva is fully obsessed with this dress. The sleeve hitting right above the elbow is super-trendy right now, and it always looks great. I love the print and the shape, and that little rainbow belt is just the perfect touch of whimsy (plus it accentuates her teensy little waist). Also, was this photo taken through a time machine? Because SJP is looking suspiciously fresh-faced and beautiful. Keep it up, girl.

The Best and Worst of Lady Gaga

 

Nope. Words can’t do this one justice. All I can say is Where the Wild Things Are meets car wash meets Cousin It.

Lady Gaga at Lollapalooza

This, on the other hand, is why I love Gaga. The crazy wild hair, the signature sunglasses (a Lady never shows her eyes, I suppose), and a purple, seemingly plastic leopard print leotard! It’s weird, sure, but it’s fabulous and fashion-forward. And I’m a huge supporter of nude fishnets to add subtle sex to any outfit. This is a fabulous reminder that though sometimes Gaga’s performance art goes totally off the wall, she’s capable of bringing crazy fashion to a more accessible place.

How to Travel in Style

It helps to be the most beautiful woman alive, but Freida Pinto nails some essential fashion tricks: mixing black, brown, and blue; and looking chic while traveling comfortably. Let’s start with how insanely beautiful she looks even though she hardly looks like she’s wearing makeup. This woman is a goddess. And she’s a master at airport chic – a comfortable yet chic tank and sweater, a loose but fashionable skirt, tights to stay warm on the plane, and flats that are easily removable at security or while napping in first class. Her suitcase is beyond gorgeous, and I love the smoky greyish blue color of that skirt. Effortless and travel-friendly, but still beyond fabulous.

Haute Hermione

Emma Watson in Alice by Temperley

By now we all know that Emma Watson (better known as Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter films) has cut her hair and looks incredible. She’s rocking the pixie cut harder than anyone since Mia Farrow, and after ten years of being our favorite bushy-haired, brilliant witch, she deserves the freedom to cut it all off and do something new. She’s certainly got the perfect facial features to pull it off, and she looks so much older and more sophisticated, but still youthful and modern. And although this may actually be a romper, she looks fierce as hell promoting Deathly Hallows in this long-sleeved lace ensemble.

My only concern with her haircut is that this kind of cut tends to look very awkward in the growing-out stage. And since Part 1 of Deathly Hallows will hit theaters in November (::squeals with excitement::), Ms. Watson will have an ass-load of red carpets to hit, first to promote the film, and then the premieres in LA, New York, London, and every other city on earth. So I’m just hoping her events planner and her hair stylist sit down together and ensure that this fabulous bitch’s hair will look fierce all over the world this fall.

The Material Girl

 

Madonna celebrated her 52nd birthday the way all of us should – by looking half her age. I think Madonna has never looked better. The hair is curly, wild, and fabulous (though I’d touch up the roots), and the makeup/Botox/face lifts are really working, because her skin looks flawless. The dress is simultaneously mega-hot and totally classy, which is a difficult line to walk. Again, the sleeve hitting right above the elbow is totally adorable (and it covers up her crazy arms). Her figure is as petite and perfect as ever, she’s rocking fishnets and a badass fishnetty glove, and she’s still rocking a cross like it’s 1986. I don’t know if she sold her soul to the devil for a fountain of youth or just has the best plastic surgeon on the planet, but whatever her secret is, I want it.

Worst of the Week: Paris Does Marilyn

Where do I start? How about the bandage dress, which is designed to suck in every part of your body, but somehow makes Paris look like she’s in her second trimester. And the clown makeup? Paris may be a sex icon, but she does not have a beautiful face. Her squinty-eyed, long-nosed face just can’t handle makeup like this (actually, I’m not sure anyone’s face can). Her fake tan is disturbingly orange, she’s wearing a fur coat in AUGUST, and why is she playing dress-up to the launch of her perfume? Is she that desperate for attention? (Well, duh. She’s Paris Hilton.) Also, can we talk about the fact that her perfume is called ‘Tease’? Paris, darling, you’re not a tease. You are the star of one of the world’s most infamous celebrity sex tapes. You’re easy like Sunday morning. You don’t entice men and then leave them wanting more – honey, you give it all away! Perhaps your fragrance should be called “filthy tramp” instead, just for the sake of accuracy.

Best of the Week

WOW. Dianna Agron (better known to Glee fans as pregnant ex-Cheerio Quinn Fabray) has always been beautiful, but she’s never really popped on the red carpet until now. This dress is original, whimsical, and innovative – not to mention it fits her like a dream. It’s not what the average twenty-something starlet wears, and that’s what makes it look so damn good. The shoes are Manolo Blahniks, and they are beautiful. And even though she might be rocking a Bump-It, I think she looks absolutely flawless.

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Midsummer Red Carpet Recap

Forgive me, poodles. I just moved to a new place and just got internet today, so this Diva has not had much time for blogging. But it’s Fashion Week in gay Par-ee, so we’ve got some red carpet looks to catch up on before we hit the big time. Let’s dive in.

Repeat Winner: Prodigy Edition

Dakota Fanning in Elie Saab

Head-to-toe perfection, as per usual. I particularly love the natural makeup; too many young starlets, even if they dress well, tend to age themselves ten years with heavy makeup, but this styling lets Dakota’s youth and beauty shine. The dress is obviously to die for, but I think we need a close-up on those shoes:

Dakota Fanning in Christian Louboutin shoes

Those sexy studded shoes just jumped to the top of my MUST HAVE list. (By “must have,” I of course mean “could not dream of affording.”) This outfit is the textbook definition of gritty-meets-pretty – the girl’s hair, skin, and dress are practically glowing with angelic beauty, but she throws on her studded Loubs and suddenly it’s a whole different ball game. (That’s the first and last sports reference you’ll find on this blog, kittens.)

Fugly Beyond Her Years

Annalynne McCord in Nicole Miller

I’d like you all to guess how old this woman is. If I was in a bad mood, I’d probably guess 45; at my most forgiving, I’d say mid-thirties.

SHE’S TWENTY-TWO. This bitch is MY age and already looks like she’s been chasing her pack-a-day habit with a bottle of gin every night for twenty years. Let’s forget the fact that she broke one of the most important Diva Commandments: Thou shalt wear your actual dress size, not the dress size you aim to be. Other bloggers and fashion experts have wisely said, “Wear a size bigger, and you’ll look a size smaller.” Certainly, this unforgivingly tight dress supports that claim. If only it supported McCord’s breasts.

Fun fact: I wikipedia-ed McCord (to find out her age), and my boyfriend Nate looked at her picture and said, “That looks like Carrot Top.” I rest my case.

Best Nobody

Clemence Poesy in vintage Chanel

InStyle informs me that Clemence Poesy, who has probably the worst stage name I’ve ever heard, is one of the new stars of Gossip Girl. I stopped watching that show when the guy from Next to Normal left the girl from The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants for dead in a car crash. (I know their names, it’s just way more fun to refer to them that way.) Anyway, she needs her roots touched up, and I’m not sure her face is quite beautiful enough to be going for that fresh-faced, natural thing that Dakota Fanning nailed above, but this dress is amazing. It’s not exactly hard to wear a perfect, simple vintage Chanel dress, but she kept things neat and simple with the accessories, and I respect her for that. Even if she has a dumbass name.

[Diva’s Note: It just came to my attention (thanks, Thu) that this girl actually played Fleur in the Harry Potter movies! Something I totally should have known, but what can I do, kittens? But the point is, maybe it’s not a dumbass name – it’s really just that she’s French, and has a French name, and I’m an idiot.]

First Lady Fashion

Michelle Obama in Azzedine Alaïa

Too bad for the Canadian Prime Minister and his wife – they’d look pretty cute, if they weren’t standing next to such a fabulous looking couple. Sorry, Canada, but you lose even in this photo, as it is clear that Americans have infinitely better fashion sense. Our First Lady looks truly amazing here – we all know it’s not easy to wear a white dress outside your wedding day, but Michelle not only nails it, but pairs it with great shoes, a fabulous bracelet, and her most flattering hairstyle to date. Not to mention that her arms, legs, and yes, FLOTUS cleavage look simply spectacular.

Repeat Offender

Jada Pinkett Smith

Well. Everything about this is terrible. Actually, to be fair, that tuxedo jacket would be fierce with a t-shirt and a pair of skinny jeans, but this… this is worse than Jada’s Tony awards mishap. I just don’t really understand what’s happening on top of her head, but I know it’s giving me a migraine.

Risks That Pay Off

Claire Danes in Zac Posen

Kudos to Claire Danes – this is definitely not a dress that the average woman, or even the average Hollywood woman, can pull off. But I think she’s absolutely glowing in this fabulous Zac Posen mixed print. It could have come off as costumey or even clownish, but Claire nails it, proving that a great smile makes every outfit even more fabulous.

Underage Stripper of the Week

Taylor Momsen

The photo on the left, though it should disturb me, unfortunately is not a surprise. It’s downright tame for Momsen, and actually would make a pretty fantastic Rocky Horror costume.

But the shoes, my friends. The shoes. Clear platform shoes. With actually dollar bills in them. AND THE SHOES SAY “TIPS” ON THEM. I mean, the girl is sixteen – shouldn’t that be illegal?

Best and Worst: Most Surprising Makeovers

Kristen Stewart in Herve Leger by Max Azria

I never dreamed I would say this, but K-Stew looks pretty fucking awesome right now. The new hair color is doing wonders for her. Usually when someone dyes their hair an entirely new color, it looks completely unnatural, but this feels so much more natural than her nearly-black hair did. The highlights frame her face beautifully, and I think the short hair is working for her as well. Not to mention the fact that she’s wearing a killer dress and fabulous heels (Brian Atwood shoes, to be exact). For once, her pale skin looks like beautiful porcelain instead of deathly ill. And those legs? Goodbye, knobbly knees; hello, supermodel. (Well, not quite. But in the immortal words of Whitney Fetterhoff, she’s got one hell of a set of getaway sticks.) And although she’s not smiling in this picture, she also doesn’t look like she wants to kill anyone, and has clearly been making an effort to not look so fucking miserable lately. I don’t know if the Eclipse producers picked a hot new stylist for her to drum up even more press about the film, but big hugs to whoever made this look happen. Let’s hope it stays.

Heidi Klum

Again, something I thought I’d never say: Heidi Klum isn’t looking so great, guys. Her new haircut fully sucks. It’s like if a scissor-happy kindergartener went to town on Anna Wintour’s bob. I guess the choppiness of it is a look, but it just looks sloppy, not chic. And it ages her about a decade – as does the skirt, which could be worn during Klum’s gynecologist appointment, as it provides such easy access. Heidi is a gorgeous woman with killer legs, but a slit that high does favors to absolutely no one.

Best Street Fashion: Diva’s Pick

Drew Barrymore

Recently, someone asked me what I’d wear every day if I could wear anything. I told them it was cocktail dresses with sneakers, but clearly I was wrong. Because this, ladies and gentlemen, is exactly what I would wear to walk around the city. A vintage sundress, hipster sunglasses, my signature messy bun, and the perfect pair of heels. I’ve never seen such effortless fashion before – I actually can’t stop looking at this picture. I think the lipstick matching the shoes is what really seals the deal for me. Never-ending kudos to Drew for wearing this casually around the West Village. I envy you.

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Red Carpet Redux: Best and Worst

I can’t even pretend to call these fashion recaps “weekly” anymore, because I’ve been such a slacker this summer. But better late than never, my darlings.

The Future of Fashion

 

Sometimes I look at Miley Cyrus and Taylor Momsen and I weep for the future, for today’s tweens who will have no fashion icons of their generation to worship when they are old enough for fashion to really matter. But Dakota Fanning always reminds me to believe in America’s youth, because she is fucking FABULOUS. First of all, she’s wearing a dress from Marchesa’s bridal collection, and she is wearing the hell out of it. I’d wear this to my wedding in a heartbeat, and even though Dakota’s wearing this to an awards ceremony and not a wedding, she doesn’t look like she’s in costume or out of place. The black peep toe heels are perfection. They keep the look funky and youthful, and bring a little hardness to such a romantic, breathtaking little dress. Also, let it not go unnoticed that this girl gets more and more beautiful with each passing day. Keep it up, Dakota. The children need you.

Taylor Swift in Galliano

And although she can be quite boring on the red carpet, kudos must be given to Ms. Taylor Swift for this little slice of heaven. The straight hair is a refreshing change – although my uber-judgmental eyes are spotted some seriously damaged split ends – and the dress is gorgeous. The belt buckle straps, the corset-style bodice, the way it flares at the waist, the color, the pattern – it’s all working for me. I’d wear the whole outfit, head-to-toe, in a heartbeat. And I dig the shoes – they keep it casual and youthful.

Miley Cyrus

And then I see this photo, and I lose all faith in humanity.

Another Failed Attempt at Couture

 

Marchesa is one of my favorite designers, and Kristen Stewart is one of my least favorite people, so pardon my incredible bias. BUT THIS GIRL SHOULD BE SHOT.

Okay, sorry, that was harsh. But why, God, why can’t Kristen Stewart just stick to things that are basic? Namely, things that look good on non-celebrities? Because K. Stew is no beauty, and you need to be seriously beautiful to pull off some of the craziness that is Marchesa. You also need to know how to stand up straight, how to keep your shoulders back, how to hide your weird, knobbly knees, how to smile… basically everything that Kristen Stewart fails most at. May this be a message to everyone: It’s good to take risks, but making an obvious reach far outside your comfort zone will rarely pay off.

The Fabulous Frocks of the First Lady

 

Hello, gorgeous! The FLOTUS sex-ed it up for real this week in this fabulous little dress. This is the thinnest she’s ever looked, and this dress hugs all her curves perfectly. I’m actually shocked to see her in something so form-fitting and sexy, because she’s usually more conservative when it comes to the actual fit of the garments. But may all of us have that waistline when we’re 46-year-old mothers of two.

First Lady Michelle Obama in Michael Kors

And Jackie O is reborn. This is classic Americana at its best. A gorgeous color and a great silhouette, and I love that MObama wears that double strand of pearls with everything. It keeps her looks classy and consistent.

Katy vs. Katy: The Battle of the Fugly

 

I’d like to begin by pointing out that this photo takes place at the finale of Germany’s Next Top Model. I’m not sure if that gives Katy a free pass, or just makes the whole already desperate outfit look even more depressing. I’ve already said more about how much I hate Katy Perry’s bangs than anyone should need to say, so let’s move right along to the dress. I believe Tim Gunn would say that this looks incredibly amateurish, like the dress a blind drag queen makes after his first fashion class in Tokyo. (Okay, maybe Mr. Gunn wouldn’t say that.)

But Katy, since you always insist on dressing like a complete fucking idiot, please just take some advice: Skintight plastic is not a good look for your curves, and the flats aren’t helping the situation. When wearing Rainbow Brite’s corset, make sure it flatters your butt and thighs a little more.

Katy Perry

She finally gets rid of those awful bangs, and from the neck up, Katy looks more beautiful than ever. But that dress… ohmygod. It looks like Johnny Weir got into a fight with a chainsaw. It’s just awful. But it does bring back fond memories of when I’d cut up my Brookdale Performing Arts Camp 1998 t-shirt and tie it back together up the sides, because I knew that style looked just as awesome on me when I was ten as it does on Katy now. Nobody is perfect, least of all the Democracy Diva, but at least I got over that particular fashion statement once I hit puberty. What’s Katy’s excuse?

Women Who Should Know Better

 

It pains me to see those little metal studs poking into her fat. Oh my God, J.Lo, just give it up. You’re not a 25-year-old dancer anymore, and wearing something like this basically screams, “I WISH I COULD HAVE MY YOUTH BACK!” And give me the name of whoever allowed you to wear this, because they need to be punched in the face immediately. You’ve had kids; there’s no reason for you to parade around in something like this and expect it to look good. I never expected you to age gracefully, but this is desperate even for a woman who married Ben Affleck AND Marc Anthony.

Khloe Kardashian

You know, I try not to be mean. Seriously, I know I write scathing things about basically every celebrity ever, but I try not to be cold-blooded about it, at least for most of them. But I nearly fell on the floor laughing at how awful Khloe looks here. My first reaction was just to cackle mercilessly about this hot mess of a woman, and honestly, can you blame me? Horizontal stripes, mostly invisible shoes, a sheer robe, and an expression like Kourtney’s water just broke all over her bare feet – it’s almost too bad to be true. This, ladies and gentlemen, is comedy gold.

Double Winner

Salma Hayek in Yves Saint Laurent

It’s a little bit sailor, borderline costumey, but I still think Salma Hayek looks unbelievable in this retro-style dress. The hair, makeup, and accessories all make her seem like she’s ready to perform at a USO show during World War II, but I actually find that really charming. I think a different color purse would have been better, but the look is fabulously tailored, meticulously styled, and altogether fabulous.

Salma Hayek in Alexander McQueen

Purr. Feck. Shun.

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The Weekly Fashion Recap

Project Runway Alum Collection

 

Remember Jerell? You know, the one who wore v-neck shirts that bared his entire chest, who made that crazy green alien space suit? He always struck me as a bit intriguing, if far too inexperienced and immature to be a good designer. But it seems as if he’s grown up at least a little bit. You can check out his whole collection over at Project Rungay. It’s by no means perfect, but like the dress above, it’s beautiful and innovative, if over-designed and unwearable. But definitely a big step up in creativity, maturity, and intrigue.

A Hefty Mistake

 

A word to the wise: Throwing on a trash bag, belting it, and letting your hair serve as a bird’s nest does not make you red carpet ready.

Divas we Love in Dresses we Adore

 

Avid readers of the Democracy Diva may recognize this dress – in my post on New York Fashion Week’s 10 Best Looks, I ranked this Herve Leger number #3. That’s right, one of my all-time favorite divas wore one of my top 3 favorite looks of all of New York Fashion Week. And she nailed it. Lea Michele looks simply gorgeous, and best of all, she didn’t let her stylist edit out the interesting parts of the dress. Far too often, stars take a stunning red carpet look and water it down so it’s more wearable, and the end result is a snooze-fest. But Ms. Michele looks fierce, even though I really don’t like her bangs (I think they age her).

Blame Canada

 

Shenae Grimes played the nice Christian girl/date rape victim on Degrassi before ditching the Canadian teen feelings fest for its better-looking American cousin, 90210. I don’t know where to begin with this girl, who seems to love dressing like the poor man’s Taylor Momsen, who dresses like the poor man’s Courtney Love. Just a few tips for you, Shenae: Shoulderpads should not extend two inches farther than where your shoulders end. Dresses that were purchased on the sale rack at American Apparel are not suitable for the red carpet. Knee-high socks need not be worn with velvet boots, particularly in California in May. And I don’t care if it’s intentional – there is no reason I should have to see your bargain bin black lace slip that looks like a reject from The Rocky Horror Picture Show costume closet.

Best of the Week

 

A gorgeous dress on a beautiful girl. There’s nothing more I can add. Hair, makeup, accessories – it’s all perfect.

Fabulous First Lady

 

This is one of my favorite MObama looks ever. Youthful, sexy, gorgeous, and event-appropriate (she wore it to the White House Correspondents Dinner). I would have chosen only one of the bracelets, not both, but she looks absolutely flawless.

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The Week in Fashion: Mormons, Has-Beens, and Twins

This is the first of a new weekly series: A recap of the week in fashion (aside from big red carpet events, which are deserving of their own blog posts, of course). I’ll revive some categories week after week, but I’ll also throw in some new ones to keep y’all on your toes.

It Could Be Great, But…

Amanda Seyfried in Valentino at HBO's Golden Globes after-party

I see where this look is going, and I like the path that it’s on, but there is simply way too much happening. Here’s how I’d take this from over-the-top to perfection:

  • Those shoes would be nasty even with a simple dress, but they certainly don’t go with this ensemble. For something as complex as this outfit, stick to a basic shoe in black or ivory.
  • Keep the black lace draping and the invisible left shoulder. They’re brilliantly done, as is the old Hollywood hair and makeup.
  • Nix one of the two fabrics below the lace part. Using both looks indecisive and overwhelming.
  • The visible lines beneath the lace are interesting, if slightly off-putting. I’d keep just the vertical lines, to make her look slimmer and make the dress more wearable.

Sad Girls in Sad Outfits

Jessica Simpson at the LA premiere of Extraordinary Measures on Jan. 19

Guys, Jessica Simpson is having a rough time. She can’t hold on to a man, she can’t dress, her father makes awkward comments about her boobs, she’s untalented, and people keep ragging on her for her weight. So think of this not as a criticism, but as one girl trying to help another. God knows she needs it.

Hair and makeup actually look fantastic. Since the Tony Romo break-up, she’s been sort of wandering around LA with her hair a wreck, her roots showing, and her face swollen and puffy, like she was barely able to get off the couch and put down the pint of Ben & Jerry’s to come to that event. This is a huge turnaround for her. I mean, she still has that sadness in her eyes, but from the neck up, she looks more beautiful than she has in years.

But who are her People? You know, stylists, gay best friends, assistants, and whoever else is responsible for getting her dressed and out the door. Why did they allow this? Not that I object to all-black ensembles, but wearing three different shades of black (four, if you count the visible bra) is just unacceptable. This is one of those times when I want to remind everyone that when the cameras flash, your clothes don’t look the same as they do in your closet or when you walk out the door. And if you are hired to be on Team Jessica, it’s your job to know that, and plan accordingly.

That’s a Costume, Not a Dress

Keri Russell in Alexander McQueen at the LA premiere of Extraordinary Measures

Dear Felicity: You’re irrelevant, your shoes are ugly, and you look like you’re wearing the top half of a poorly made nun’s habit. Oh, and you have a pedosmile.

Frocks of the First Lady

Michelle Obama at the Red Cross Disaster Operations Center on Jan. 18

We’re going to wander weekly through this woman’s wardrobe, not just because she’s beautiful and fabulous, but because it’s super-easy, since she’s always out doing something, wearing something, and being photographed. Let me say first that the new bob does wonders for her. It flatters her face and makes everything she wears look more stylish. And this outfit represents everything a First Lady should: Grace, elegance, simplicity, and class. Good color, good fit, interesting and understated. Nice work, Mrs. Obama.

Best of the Week

Ashley Olsen in Erdem at the WB/InStyle Golden Globes after-party

I still can’t believe how much I love this, since I hate almost everything the Olsen twins wear. I get that boho chic is a trend some people dig, but I don’t think you always need to look like a homeless person. And it looks like Ashley finally agreed with me, when she went out in this uncharacteristically adorable dress.

I think the matchy-matchy shoes are a bit too bridesmaid, but from the ankles up, this is a perfect look. Most of the time, when the Olsens shy away from their usual garbage bag looks, they wear something insane and couture that ages them ten or fifteen years. But this dress is very youthful without sacrificing design. The color pops, and the dress has a lot of unique elements that don’t compete with each other. The bubbly skirt, the cascade of flowers, the to-the-elbow sleeves – they come off fun and kitschy instead of weird. I like the casual hair, because the color looks so great against that blue dress that it honestly doesn’t matter if she brushes it or not. And she looks shockingly fresh-faced, happy, and normal. Keep them coming, Ashley. I’d love to have more good things to say about you in the future.

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