Posts tagged:zac posen

Emmys 2010 Red Carpet

Grab your leopard-print snuggie and a bottle of wine, bitches, ’cause this could take awhile.

Mad Women

 

I’ve been trying for days to like this dress, and I just can’t. It just looks like melted-down solo cups. The texture is horrible, and those cones on her boobs are absurd. That blue might be one of the best colors I’ve ever seen on the red carpet, particularly with January’s coloring, but even that can’t save this hot disaster. And that hair? If you want to have sex in the limo on the way to the Emmys, more power to you. But that does not give you license to have sex hair on the red carpet. Your all-American beauty looks will only take you so far, January. They may get you an Emmy nomination, but you won’t get this Diva’s approval until you learn how to dress.

 

 

My sister Haley brought up an intriguing question to me today: Does Christina Hendricks have an unusually small head? Or, as I posited, is it merely that any head would look tiny atop those giant hooters? Just something to think about. Regardless of the answer, Hendricks is rocking this dress. Totally unusual color, and it complements her hair beautifully. Redheads always rock green and purple outfits, and Miss Joan is no exception. Loving how this dress cinches her waist, shows off her ta-tas without looking vulgar, and then gets all soft and billowy and feathery at the bottom. I think there’s a little too much length at the bottom, but it’s a small complaint. And the sleeves are to die for.

Elisabeth Moss in Donna Karan

Beautiful, simple, and classic, just like Elisabeth Moss herself. The draping is incredible, the color makes her glow, the shoulder piece adds a little intrigue, and I even like the train (and I hate trains). The bling is AMAZING – those bracelets are seriously opulent – and nothing’s better than that sassy little smile.

 

Kiernan Shipka in Papo d’Anjo

You can take your Bettys and Joans and Peggys, but Sally Draper is the real deal. That dress is precious, the hair is awesome, and my ten-year-old self would have killed for those little tiny high heels. Also, her name is Kiernan Shipka, which is awesome.

Modern Ladies

 

It’d be fine without the awkward stripe down the middle. It’s a perfect cut and color for her, but I wish it had some more intrigue and complexity other than the stripe, which is just not particularly beautiful. But the hair is amazing.

This just has too much going on. Less is more, people, and those ruffles over her boobs are just masking Julie’s beauty. This bitch doesn’t age, and has the hair and skin of a freakin’ newborn, but I look at this photo and I only see fabric, not the fabulous woman underneath it.

This is incredibly mature (but not aging) for someone as young as Sarah Hyland, who plays Claire and Phil’s oldest daughter on Modern Family. And she is rocking the hell out of this dress. The fabric is so luxe, it looks like liquid. It also makes her look about six feet tall and totally stacked. The braided/twisted straps are a dream, and the hair is perfect. I hope she doesn’t end up doing crack in five years.

 

 

 

And our favorite middle child is also nailing something chic beyond her years. I could do without the Bat Mitzvah hair and the embroidery on the bodice, but I’m loving the black-on-blue skirt and the funky, stylistic draping.

Glitter Queens

 

Easily the best dressed of the night, Claire Danes proves that simplicity is the name of the game. This dress is phenomenal and it fits her like a glove. I love that the color is just a sparkling version of her own skin tone. I may prefer her with bottled-red hair and flannel shirts, but I will always love Angela Chase.

Jennifer Carpenter in Oday Shakar

Stunning.

Gleeks Gone Glam

 

Hello, gorgeous! This was my other favorite gown of the night. Not every designer can take a 5’2″ girl and make her look statuesque, but of course Oscar can! The color is amazing, the gown is divalicious, her jewelry is awesome (I bet we’re going to see knockoffs of that necklace EVERYWHERE), and this bitch knows how to POSE. The hair could have been a little more formal, but that’s my only complaint.

 

 

Jayma’s beautiful, but this dress is Lea’s dress’s less hot little sister. The jewelry is tacky and her hair is a mess.

 

 

The cutest little queer on two legs. LOVING the treble clef pin on his lapel!

Work it out, Quinn! Black and pink lace together is one of my favorite things on the planet, especially in formal wear. Gorgeous dress with perfect hair and makeup to boot. But she does look a little sad, especially for a ridiculously hot girl on a hit Emmy-nominated TV show. Maybe she’s sad because she’s secretly in love with Matt Morrison, who is over her right shoulder, staring at her shoes instead of her ass. He’s a closet case, honey. Move on.

 

Brittany pulled out all the stops, rocking some serious old-school Hollywood glam. Very impressive for such a red carpet newbie! The makeup artist was a little heavy-handed, but the hair is flawless.

If you took Cha Cha DiGregorio from Grease and added a Lady Gaga wig, you’d get this photo. Seriously, Naya, we all like to play dress-up, but this is your first Emmy red carpet. Is this how you really want to be remembered? In a slutty 80s prom dress, boring shoes, and a hairstyle so stupid even Rihanna hates it?

Funny and Fabulous

 

Holy couture! Kathy Griffin’s body has never looked better, and it takes a confident bitch to rock Oscar with that much certainty. Get it, girl.

Amy Poehler gave birth THREE WEEKS AGO and already looks this good. We should all be so lucky. The color is gorgeous, her tits look amazing, and she’s allegedly wearing half a million dollars worth of Stephen Russell jewelry, though I can’t really see much of it.

Tina Fey in Oscar de la Renta

I could do without the hieroglyphic print, but for a woman who never looks comfortable in a dress, Tina is posing the hell out of this Oscar gown. It’s incredibly flattering to her figure, and it’s much funkier and fancier than she usually goes. It’s curve-hugging but not tight, and the hair and makeup are looking beautiful. Kudos to Ms. Fey for taking a fashion risk and finally having it pay off.

Funny and Feh

Mindy Kaling in Aguri Sagimori

I think Elvira wore this to her high school prom. The shoes are cute, but that hair is much funnier than this season of The Office and this haphazardly-draped crinoline disaster is no better. And a petite girl should know better than to wear a dress with such wacky proportions that ends in the middle of the calf. Unless you’re a supermodel, that’s going to make you look stumpy.

Kristen Wiig

Awful print, stupid belt, poorly fit, and stupid shoulder ruffles. Plus I don’t like the hair or makeup, and the purse is too busy. Fire your stylist, Kristen.

New Diva on the Block Award

 

Last I checked, Nina Dobrev was just another teen mom on Degrassi, and then she was just another teen vampire on Vampire Diaries, and then suddenly she was KILLING IT on the red carpet and performing in the epic Emmys opening number alongside the Glee cast, Tina Fey, Jon Hamm, Betty White, and the rest of TV’s elite. I can’t even believe how stunning she looks. The dress is borderline bridal, but it’s exquisite. The draping at the top is actually breathtaking. The hair is classy and glamorous, and those earrings were the perfect choice. Keep it up, Nina! Looking forward to seeing what else you’ve got.

 

Hottest Couple

Neil Patrick Harris (in Calvin Klein) and David Burtka

NPH’s suit is beyond chic. It seems men fall into two categories: basic boring suit/tux, or trying and failing to spice it up. Neil Patrick Harris, of course, is classy and stylish enough to pull off a funky suit and just look even more dashing. And David looks adorable, as always.

Worst Dressed

 

Oh, lord. A potato sack on top, a magician’s slutty assistant on the bottom, fugly shoes, and way too much jewelry. And that hair? Unless you’re in bed with a pint of Ben & Jerrys, that mess is inexcusable.

 

 

 

Nope. No. Just… no. Your puke-colored, flowered and rhinestoned dress should not have love handle cutouts.

What part of wearing a purple hairy tiered gown appealed to Emily? Because I think she needs to seek mental help.

Stephanie Pratt in Marciano

Sometimes I forget my pants in the limo too, Steph. It happens.

Lo Bosworth in Karen Caldwell

Lo Bosworth thought she was dressing like Mad Men here. She didn’t get the memo that a dress that looks amazing on a 1960s secretary in an office does not necessarily look awesome on a 2010 red carpet. She looks like she’s off to a business lunch, not an awards show. And that skirt should be about four inches shorter. The shoes don’t go, she’s wearing a stupidly large number of rings, and the hair is so bad, it’s almost funny.

Kate Gosselin in Carmen Marc Valvo

For the love of God, just go be with your children and leave us all alone.

Anna Paquin in Alexander McQueen

I love a girl who’s loyal to a designer, especially McQueen, but there’s a time and a place, and this ain’t it. The armored top looks insane, and the skirt is totally wrong. Way too many bracelets, and no hair style to speak of.

Heidi Klum in Marchesa

We get it, Heidi. You like short dresses. But you’re also not 18 and while I’d never tell a woman who looks as good as you that she needs to cover up, this shtick is getting a little tired. It’s not that you’re too old to wear dresses that show your cooter – it’s that your vagina must be tired of all the attention, because we’re tired of seeing her. And is your hair in a flip? The same style that all the boys in my middle school were rocking circa 2001? Because it didn’t work on them, and it sure as hell doesn’t work on you.

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Later this week: Your weekly fashion recap (cover all things non-Emmys, from red carpet to editorials and more) and of course, your weekly Project Runway recap! Follow @democracydiva on twitter for updates.

 

 

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Midsummer Red Carpet Recap

Forgive me, poodles. I just moved to a new place and just got internet today, so this Diva has not had much time for blogging. But it’s Fashion Week in gay Par-ee, so we’ve got some red carpet looks to catch up on before we hit the big time. Let’s dive in.

Repeat Winner: Prodigy Edition

Dakota Fanning in Elie Saab

Head-to-toe perfection, as per usual. I particularly love the natural makeup; too many young starlets, even if they dress well, tend to age themselves ten years with heavy makeup, but this styling lets Dakota’s youth and beauty shine. The dress is obviously to die for, but I think we need a close-up on those shoes:

Dakota Fanning in Christian Louboutin shoes

Those sexy studded shoes just jumped to the top of my MUST HAVE list. (By “must have,” I of course mean “could not dream of affording.”) This outfit is the textbook definition of gritty-meets-pretty – the girl’s hair, skin, and dress are practically glowing with angelic beauty, but she throws on her studded Loubs and suddenly it’s a whole different ball game. (That’s the first and last sports reference you’ll find on this blog, kittens.)

Fugly Beyond Her Years

Annalynne McCord in Nicole Miller

I’d like you all to guess how old this woman is. If I was in a bad mood, I’d probably guess 45; at my most forgiving, I’d say mid-thirties.

SHE’S TWENTY-TWO. This bitch is MY age and already looks like she’s been chasing her pack-a-day habit with a bottle of gin every night for twenty years. Let’s forget the fact that she broke one of the most important Diva Commandments: Thou shalt wear your actual dress size, not the dress size you aim to be. Other bloggers and fashion experts have wisely said, “Wear a size bigger, and you’ll look a size smaller.” Certainly, this unforgivingly tight dress supports that claim. If only it supported McCord’s breasts.

Fun fact: I wikipedia-ed McCord (to find out her age), and my boyfriend Nate looked at her picture and said, “That looks like Carrot Top.” I rest my case.

Best Nobody

Clemence Poesy in vintage Chanel

InStyle informs me that Clemence Poesy, who has probably the worst stage name I’ve ever heard, is one of the new stars of Gossip Girl. I stopped watching that show when the guy from Next to Normal left the girl from The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants for dead in a car crash. (I know their names, it’s just way more fun to refer to them that way.) Anyway, she needs her roots touched up, and I’m not sure her face is quite beautiful enough to be going for that fresh-faced, natural thing that Dakota Fanning nailed above, but this dress is amazing. It’s not exactly hard to wear a perfect, simple vintage Chanel dress, but she kept things neat and simple with the accessories, and I respect her for that. Even if she has a dumbass name.

[Diva’s Note: It just came to my attention (thanks, Thu) that this girl actually played Fleur in the Harry Potter movies! Something I totally should have known, but what can I do, kittens? But the point is, maybe it’s not a dumbass name – it’s really just that she’s French, and has a French name, and I’m an idiot.]

First Lady Fashion

Michelle Obama in Azzedine Alaïa

Too bad for the Canadian Prime Minister and his wife – they’d look pretty cute, if they weren’t standing next to such a fabulous looking couple. Sorry, Canada, but you lose even in this photo, as it is clear that Americans have infinitely better fashion sense. Our First Lady looks truly amazing here – we all know it’s not easy to wear a white dress outside your wedding day, but Michelle not only nails it, but pairs it with great shoes, a fabulous bracelet, and her most flattering hairstyle to date. Not to mention that her arms, legs, and yes, FLOTUS cleavage look simply spectacular.

Repeat Offender

Jada Pinkett Smith

Well. Everything about this is terrible. Actually, to be fair, that tuxedo jacket would be fierce with a t-shirt and a pair of skinny jeans, but this… this is worse than Jada’s Tony awards mishap. I just don’t really understand what’s happening on top of her head, but I know it’s giving me a migraine.

Risks That Pay Off

Claire Danes in Zac Posen

Kudos to Claire Danes – this is definitely not a dress that the average woman, or even the average Hollywood woman, can pull off. But I think she’s absolutely glowing in this fabulous Zac Posen mixed print. It could have come off as costumey or even clownish, but Claire nails it, proving that a great smile makes every outfit even more fabulous.

Underage Stripper of the Week

Taylor Momsen

The photo on the left, though it should disturb me, unfortunately is not a surprise. It’s downright tame for Momsen, and actually would make a pretty fantastic Rocky Horror costume.

But the shoes, my friends. The shoes. Clear platform shoes. With actually dollar bills in them. AND THE SHOES SAY “TIPS” ON THEM. I mean, the girl is sixteen – shouldn’t that be illegal?

Best and Worst: Most Surprising Makeovers

Kristen Stewart in Herve Leger by Max Azria

I never dreamed I would say this, but K-Stew looks pretty fucking awesome right now. The new hair color is doing wonders for her. Usually when someone dyes their hair an entirely new color, it looks completely unnatural, but this feels so much more natural than her nearly-black hair did. The highlights frame her face beautifully, and I think the short hair is working for her as well. Not to mention the fact that she’s wearing a killer dress and fabulous heels (Brian Atwood shoes, to be exact). For once, her pale skin looks like beautiful porcelain instead of deathly ill. And those legs? Goodbye, knobbly knees; hello, supermodel. (Well, not quite. But in the immortal words of Whitney Fetterhoff, she’s got one hell of a set of getaway sticks.) And although she’s not smiling in this picture, she also doesn’t look like she wants to kill anyone, and has clearly been making an effort to not look so fucking miserable lately. I don’t know if the Eclipse producers picked a hot new stylist for her to drum up even more press about the film, but big hugs to whoever made this look happen. Let’s hope it stays.

Heidi Klum

Again, something I thought I’d never say: Heidi Klum isn’t looking so great, guys. Her new haircut fully sucks. It’s like if a scissor-happy kindergartener went to town on Anna Wintour’s bob. I guess the choppiness of it is a look, but it just looks sloppy, not chic. And it ages her about a decade – as does the skirt, which could be worn during Klum’s gynecologist appointment, as it provides such easy access. Heidi is a gorgeous woman with killer legs, but a slit that high does favors to absolutely no one.

Best Street Fashion: Diva’s Pick

Drew Barrymore

Recently, someone asked me what I’d wear every day if I could wear anything. I told them it was cocktail dresses with sneakers, but clearly I was wrong. Because this, ladies and gentlemen, is exactly what I would wear to walk around the city. A vintage sundress, hipster sunglasses, my signature messy bun, and the perfect pair of heels. I’ve never seen such effortless fashion before – I actually can’t stop looking at this picture. I think the lipstick matching the shoes is what really seals the deal for me. Never-ending kudos to Drew for wearing this casually around the West Village. I envy you.

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Tony Awards 2010 Red Carpet

The Worst: Hollywood Wives

Jada Pinkett Smith in Marchesa

Will’s wife is, on a normal day, an incredibly beautiful woman. She’s barely five feet tall, which makes her difficult to dress when designer gowns are made for women who are nearly a foot larger than her. That’s the problem here, with this Marchesa cocktail dress. On a woman with neverending legs, this short, squat dress might have worked. But instead it just packs on bulk to Jada’s itsy-bitsy figure, making her look stumpy instead of slim. Also, did she dip her legs in a vat of olive oil in the limo? She’s awfully shiny.

Katie Holmes in Armani Prive

The hair is limp, she’s not wearing enough makeup, and that dress is just so boring. Mrs. Cruise looks uncomfortable and sad, and those looks don’t work on anybody.

Catherine Zeta-Jones in Atelier Versace

Mrs. Michael Douglas reminded the world of how awkward her May-December romance is at the Tonys this year, by discussing their sex life while accepting her (completely undeserved) award. Let’s talk about the face – just what is going on up there? She looks like she’s had some bad Botox or a botched face lift. And that dress is better suited for a little girl at her first big party than a woman bragging about sleeping with an AARP member. Iced periwinkle can’t be worn by girls over the age of 17. It should be a law.

The Best: Broadway Powerhouses

 

This actually was not one of my favorite looks of the night, but I still enjoyed it. It seemed more appropriate for the Country Music Awards than the Tonys, and although Cheno is tiny, I think that hemline is a bit short even for her. But she still looks every bit the adorable little woman she is, and if the dress were three inches longer, I’d love it.

Idina Menzel in Carolina Herrera

Idina looked simply glorious, and younger than she’s looked in years. Her skin looks flawless, her dress is intriguing but simple; mature but not matronly; youthful but not silly. I think she should’ve done a diamond necklace as well, just to glitz it up, but Idina looks as divalicious as ever.

Lea Michele in Zac Posen

What an astoundingly beautiful color. This is a perfect red carpet look – simple in design, but the color ensures that every eye on the Tonys red carpet will be on Miss Lea. Once again, I’d like to see a blingy necklace, but I don’t think Lea could have picked a more flattering, fun, or stylish gown. Kudos to her!

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Runway Review: The Week In Fashion

This week had a little too much fashion for just one blog post, so I’ve divided your weekly fashion recap into two parts: runway and red carpet. Here’s the runway edition, as the Resort 2011 collections have exploded this week.

Best Accessory: Vamped-Up Stockings

 

The gams are getting glamorous on the runway this week! Though the effect feels much more fall than spring, many designers chose vamped-up stockings and ornate tights as accessories. I have always been a fan of the embellished stocking – somehow it always makes an outfit more interesting and way sexier.

Worst Accessory: The Tube Belt

 

I tend to support eccentric accessories, particularly those that bring an element of grittiness into an otherwise tailored, feminine outfit (or vice versa). But if the fashionistas start wearing these ugly, unflattering belts that look like they belong at a gas pump, I’m going to have to scream. I beg you, ladies. No matter how badly you need a belt, rubber tubing is not the answer.

The Saddest Girl on the Runway

 

There is a such thing as “so bad it’s good.” Examples include the earlier seasons of Degrassi: The Next Generation, “Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus, and the entire High School Musical franchise. Unfortunately, Cynthia Rowley’s Resort 2011 collection is not “so bad it’s good.” Because it’s downright fugly. From the white shoes to the shapeless “dress” to the patched, frayed fabric – I understand the point is to make a statement using ugliness, but the only statement this makes is “I’m a little homeless boy in my mommy’s shoes”

The Legend of Oscar

Oscar de la Renta Resort 2011

As per usual, I had nearly every look in Oscar de la Renta’s Resort 2011 collection tagged as one of my favorites this week, but I managed to narrow it down to two looks that explain the genius of Mr. de la Renta.

The above look is what designers like Leanne from Project Runway constantly attempt but never quite achieve. She, like Oscar, made full skirts of fabric pieces to make it look like waves, but she limited herself with her desire to stay within a specific structure and color scheme. This blood-red beauty catches like feathers in the wind, moves like waves, possibly could have been made by Elmo’s taxidermist, and is romantic and sweet all at the same time. The rose-looking twist at the center is exquisite.

Oscar de la Renta Resort 2011

And this kind of gown is what Christopher from Project Runway always tried, to no avail. But to create something like this is so much more than making a dress. It truly stands as a piece of art, carefully and thoughtfully draped, sewn, and constructed. I personally love the different polka-dot prints, the black sash at her waist, and the ornate bodice.

The Ill-Fitting Crotch Award

 

These pants were apparently draped intentionally to give the appearance of a giant cameltoe.

Marc by Marc Jacobs Resort 2011

The Democracy Diva would like to take this opportunity to remind all designers, not just Givenchy and Marc, that vaginas do not need a square foot of breathing room.

90s Throwbacks

 

This My So Called Life meets Coco Chanel hybrid has all the modernity of the new millennium with the grittiness of the 90s. The tweed dress is lovely (and such an unusual shape) and those peep-toe combat boots are destined to be in my closet. But the black long-sleeved lace undershirt really amps up the alternative rock sensibility, and the contrast between the tailored and the distressed is incredibly beautiful.

Diva’s Pet Peeve

 

Now, I KNOW we’ve talked about sweatpants on the runway before. I don’t care if it’s the resort collection – fabulous casual vacation lounge clothing and bright yellow elastic waistband sweatpants are not the same. And this poor soul isn’t helped by that boxy T-shirt, the horrible choker, and the mismatched purse.

Best Bollywood Influence

 

I love the way Naeem Khan’s entire collection felt like it lay somewhere in between Hollywood and Bollywood. Gowns like this one – perfect red carpet gowns with just whispers of sari influences – simultaneously have old Hollywood glamour and a completely modern, global sensibility.

Costumes by Marc Jacobs

 

Doesn’t this have Emma Pillsbury from Glee written all over it? If McKinley High has a prom or Emma and Will have an engagement party, I think our neurotic little guidance counselor should wear this chic, flowery ensemble from Marc Jacobs.

Marc Jacobs Resort 2011

If this Diva were Katy Perry’s stylist, this is what I’d put her in for a casual day or hot summer night. This is what Katy should be wearing – zany, revealing costumes that hearken back to the 1940s pinup girls. She should go less wild and more conceptual, and her wardrobe would be intriguing instead of just weird.

The Dragtastic Dress

 

Since the model above does not appear to be a tennis pro by day / drag queen by night who is addicted to ecstasy, I can’t imagine where she plans on wearing this dress.

My Favorite Mini-Dresses

 

A girly print with a fascinating belt and truly fabulous straps. And that matching bag? To die for.

I call this look “Little Red Riding Hood Goes Bad.” Youthful, sexy, and fresh.

Because, let’s be honest, it’s not summer until you whip out your wildest neon dress.

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More fashion to come! Check back here soon for the Tonys red carpet and more!

 

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MTV Movie Awards 2010 Red Carpet

Nothing provides me with as much fodder for bashing celebs as the MTV Movie Awards – except, perhaps, the MTV VMAs. So let’s start making fun of some fame-whores, shall we?

Least Surprising Fuck Up

 

Lindsay Lohan is wearing a bedazzled floor-length jumpsuit. I can’t say I’m surprised, I just feel the need to remind Ms. Lohan that Diana Ross is calling from Studio 54, and she wants her outfit back. And her cocaine, too. Now, kids, prepare yourself for the close-up:

Lindsay Lohan

Oof. Eyeliner smeared beneath the eyes – any lady who’s ever had a few too many cocktails knows that look, and it’s called DRUNKFACE. But we don’t have personal assistants and stylists who can hold up a mirror to us in the limo and say, “Honey, fix yourself.” So at least we have an excuse for running around with our makeup melting off our faces. Lindsay has no such excuse – she just clearly knocked back several cocktails (let’s hope it was only cocktails… and only several) right before she got out of the car.

And, honey, what’s with the boobs? Didn’t you used to have the nicest rack in Hollywood? Your tatties look very depressed, like they’re running away from that freckly patch beneath your saggy pair. And for the love of God, Lindsay, go back to your natural hair color. You have never looked remotely attractive as anything other than a redhead.

Most Surprising Successes

 

I’m fairly certain I’ve never said one positive word about Kristen Stewart before. She somehow scored the leading role in one of the biggest book/movie series ever, even though she’s unattractive AND untalented AND a total bitch who resents all her fame and success. Honey, nobody made you audition for a highly anticipated movie based on a wildly popular bestselling novel. You knew what you were getting yourself into – don’t fucking mope around LA like your life is so miserable.

Before I go off on a complete tangent, let’s get back to the clothes. Ms. Stewart almost always looks like shit, because she has no style, never stands up straight, and always looks miserable. But I have to say, I think this might be the best she’s ever looked. The dress and shoes are undoubtedly gorgeous, she’s learned how to pose like an actual celebrity, and she almost looks like she’s having an okay time!

Kristen Stewart

And this is definitely the most beautiful her face has ever looked. I never noticed before that her eyes are stunning and her skin is lovely. I wish she’d styled her hair, but then again, this is the MTV Movie Awards. People wear jeans on the red carpet to such a bullshit event. Her makeup is natural and lovely, and she only slightly looks like someone just farted in her face.

Whitney Port in Yigal Azrouel

I don’t like Whitney Port on principle, because she’s another famous-for-no-reason wannabe fashion designer with no discernible talent for fashion. But I think she looks unbelievably sexy here. I hate the thick black eyeliner – I think it emphasizes how heavy-lidded and weird-looking her eyes are – and I wish her roots were a few shades lighter, but I love everything else. The dress is beyond gorgeous. Naked-looking, but not actually revealing. Great color, perfect fit, and those shoes add a level of complex styling that I didn’t know Whitney was capable of. And I think she might be wearing a watch, which I respect, because women rarely do that anymore.

Best Accessories/Worst Britney Impersonator

 

Let’s start with the essentials: the dress. From far away, it just looks like she’s covered in lint. And we’ve all seen this outfit before – it’s just a more modest version of Britney’s infamous nude-and-sequined outfit in her “Toxic” video. But there are actually a lot of things I love about what’s happening here, which is particularly surprising, since Katy Perry is up there with Rihanna and J.Lo on the list of my least favorite celebrities, on and off the red carpet.

I actually love the blue color of the wig. What I hate about the wig is those awful bangs that Katy insists upon wearing even though they look terrible on everybody, particularly Katy, who is not a natural beauty, just a decent-looking girl with a great makeup artist. But I actually think that crazy blue is gorgeous with the dress and just nutty enough for the MTV Awards. Those yellow neon nails are so eye-catching and fun, and the best surprise is how they match the shoes:

Katy Perry’s shoes

Come on. Those shoes are gorgeous in their own right, and the matching nail color is just perfection. There were some great style moments in this outfit, but they don’t quite compensate for Katy Perry’s general suckiness.

The #2 Reason I Didn’t Date in High School…

 

…BECAUSE THIS IS ACTUALLY WHAT GUYS ON THE JERSEY SHORE LOOK LIKE. This is not even an exaggeration of what they look like – this is actually how fucking stupid most of the guys in my area actually look, complete with the fake tans, excessive jewelry, and truly horrific haircuts. As Cher wisely said in Clueless, “So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all, but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair – ew – and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so!” The styles may have changed, but the sentiment remains true as ever.

For those who were wondering, the #1 reason I didn’t date in high school was because I was only attracted to gay men. But I bet you could have guessed that.

Lord of the Ice

 

Johnny Weir is a rock star. Well, not by profession, because he’s actually an Olympic figure skater, but he has the soul of a total fucking rock star. He’s also one of the only Olympic skaters who actually embraces what a huge homo he is. They all embrace it on the ice – I mean, you sort of have to, as there’s basically nothing gayer than figure skating except ice dancing and Liza Minelli – but J.Weir is loud and proud about what a queen he is. And while he sort of looks like the love child of Lady Gaga and Peewee Herman, I applaud him for that fierce blazer and festively cocooning his neck in crinoline for no apparent reason.

But honey, I’d fix the makeup. Either go all-out, and do eye makeup in addition to the copious amounts of blush and lipstick you’re sporting, or nix the makeup altogether. This just looks unfinished.

Fashion Week Favorite

 

Nothing makes me feel better as a fashion blogstress than when my favorite looks from New York Fashion Week get worn by celebrities on the red carpet. As you may remember, this was the final look in Zac Posen’s Fall 2010 collection, which I blogged about as one of my favorites. Fritzy (that’s what I call Anna Kendrick – the character she played in Camp before anybody but me and Cameron knew she existed) looks utterly fabulous here from head to toe. One of her arms is hidden, but I hope it bears a fabulous bracelet, as she looks a little under-accessorized. But this dress is gorgeous without being too fancy for the event, and that’s a difficult line to walk.

Least Relevant

 

It truly depresses me how hard Christina is trying to be Lady Gaga. Christina, you are not Lady Gaga, and you will never be Lady Gaga. And that’s okay – because you’re fucking Christina Aguilera! You have one of the best voices in pop music history, you had a long and brilliant career, and now you have a beautiful husband and child (both Jewish, I might add). You don’t need to be resorting to auto-tuned vocals and over-sexed, overly dramatic music videos and gimmicky costumes. I love Gaga, but we don’t need more that one of her. Just be proud of being Christina, and people might actually still like you. But now you’re just depressing the shit out of us as you try to cling to your youth and fame. And this dress is downright fugly.

Best Dressed/Most Awkward Presenter

 

I could only stomach about ten minutes of the actual awards show, because MTV hasn’t been relevant to my life since 7th grade, and all I really cared about was seeing Betty White and whether Malfoy would win the award for Best Villain. MTV decided to script a super-awkward conversation between ScarJo and Sandra Bullock which of course ended in a lesbian kiss, because it’s MTV. But regardless of how uncomfortable that is, or how hilarious it was to see Betty White politely clapping while those ladies shared a weak-ass, forced kiss, Scarlett looked simply amazing. I would never have worn something this classy on MTV – I’d have saved it for a more formal or less youthful event – but I can’t deny that this look is nearly flawless. I think she might be wearing blue nail polish, which I strongly oppose, but that may just be the lighting. And again, this dress demands a glittery bracelet or necklace to be complete. But all in all, this ensemble is excellent.

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More fashion to come later, straight from the red carpet at the Sex and the City 2 premieres!

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The Week in Fashion

It’s kind of the past two weeks in fashion; forgive me, I’ve been busy.

Best of the Runway

Valentino Fall 2010

Valentino’s fall 2010 collection was full of incredibly beautiful and unique looks. It concentrated a lot on that wavy design that this coat featured; the waves manifested themselves on different pieces of clothing and added evoked images of the ocean and maintained an architectural feel at the same time. Valentino wins even more of my love by making original, innovative pieces that are still not only wearable, but body-conscious and flattering.

Most Pathetic Degrassi Alum

Shenae Grimes

You may not have heard of Shenae Grimes, who graduated from my #1 guilty pleasure show Degrassi to the recent remake of 90210. I often forget her name, as to me she will always be Darcy, the frighteningly skinny Christian girl who was one of the first of Degrassi‘s “Let’s finally cast students who look like models to keep up with the entire rest of the television world,” also known as the downfall of the show. Because you KNOW what kept Degrassi magical was that all those kids looked like they really could have gone to school with you, except they say “aboot.” Anyway, Shenae will always remind me of the virginal tease who took slutty pictures of herself, got date-raped, cut herself, and went to Africa, or something.

So, I guess she’s dressed perfectly for the role. Oh, I know how to make myself totally badass after I’ve been on the two lamest shows of the 21st century – I’ll wear black nail polish and black toe nail polish and a black leather jacket with gold studs to show how tough I am. And I’ll wear a vest with nothing under it, because I’m just crazy like that, and I feel every minute that my midriff is not exposed is a minute wasted. I’ll top it with awkward chunky jewelry, an ill-fitting belt, uncomfortably high-waisted skinny jeans, and a really awful dye job! Honey, of course creepy old men are going to stalk you on the internet if you go out dressed like that!

Best of a New Fashion Icon

Lea Michele in Zac Posen

Lea Michele and Zac Posen have a lot in common. “Zac” and “Michele” both seem as if they’re missing a letter. And they both make me very happy. Kudos to Michele for pulling off a nearly impossible to wear shade of pink – this shit is Pepto Bismol meets Barbie, and she’s killing it. She looks long, lean, leggy, and utterly divalicious.

Worst at Everything

Katy Perry in The Blonds

Now, I hate Katy Perry on any given day. Her voice is terrible, she is nothing but shtick with no talent to back it up. She is awful-looking, awful-sounding, and generally bad for the universe.

And as if there weren’t enough reasons to hate her, she shows up at the Kids’ Choice Awards dressed like that. Let me reiterate: SHE WORE THIS TO A SHOW GEARED TOWARD CHILDREN. For God’s sake, woman, unless an emergency occurs in which you need to be the wet nurse for an infant on the red carpet, PUT THOSE THINGS AWAY. Also, if you have giant assymetrical titties, wear a bra. Just a suggestion.

Oh, and maybe wear pants around children. ‘Cause not everybody wants their kids staring at the crazy lady in the horrendous lipstick, bangs that were cut by a blind, angry child,  who also happens to be dressed like the cheapest whore in Vegas.

Worst Infraction by a Nobody

Jessica Lowndes

Well, I must have it in for the 90210 cast, because apparently this woman is a colleague of Ms. Shenae Grimes. That’s right, this nobody actually has a career. Could have fooled me.

Actually, I shouldn’t say that. It must be really difficult to be a Playboy bunny and a Christmas ornament all at the same time. That’s definitely a career.

Three words, dear: FIRE. YOUR. GAYS.

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Check back soon for more on theatre, fashion, and everything else a diva could want.

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Fashion Week’s Best: Zac Posen and Oscar de la Renta

There was a whole lot of gorgeous happening on the runway this week, so obviously I could not choose one particular best collection or look. I’ve actually chosen 4 different collections as the best of the best. This post will cover Zac Posen and Oscar de la Renta’s collections; I’ll have plenty more to say later on about two other delectable designers, plus an additional post with a cornucopia of the best looks from many designers. But for now, let’s look at some beauty.

Zac Posen

Zac Posen Fall 2010

Beautiful from head to toe. I cannot get enough of this particularly talented model’s neverending legs and super-sassy expression. The dress is a unique shape and silhouette and it flows practically like liquid, and it keeps drawing your eye to different places without seeming overworked. I also appreciate when a designer lets their work stand for itself instead of over-accessorizing and distracting from the beauty and intrigue of this dress. It’s wearable but with a touch of intrigue, and this model is wearing the shit out of it. She puts the pose in Posen! (Yeah, I made a pun. You love it.)

Zac Posen Fall 2010

There is a lot to be said for simplicity with a twist. It’s a very spring dress for a fall collection, but not so much that it feels out of place. I just think this is incredibly sellable and wearable. I can’t imagine this not showing up in US Weekly’s “Who wore it better?” section, because every starlet is going to want to wear this everywhere she goes. The colors and the assymetrical panels are so simple but so beautiful, which is basically what Zac Posen is all about.

The Final Look

Zac Posen Fall 2010

Designers tend to choose very formal gowns or their most elaborate red carpet-worthy looks for the final look of their collection, but Posen has made an empire out of cocktail dresses instead of full-length gowns, so I think he was wise to stick with what he knows best. The print, the fabric, and the colors are unbeatable. The pink/red sheer stockings are delicious, if a bit unwearable. (I mean, I’d wear them, but I own an ungodly amount of brightly colored tights. Seriously, it’s weird.) I think this model is a bit too unattractive to be featured in the final look of the collection, but the dress fits her well and flows beautifully.

Oscar de la Renta

Oscar de la Renta Fall 2010

This is my personal idea of a perfect look. Over-the-top or avant garde hair and makeup are fun and can be a blast, but for a ready-to-wear collection, this is the look I love. Beautiful and wild hair, exaggerated street makeup (I actually prefer the face to be more bare, just emphasizing lips and eyes, but if I had those cheekbones, I’d paint them up too). And the dress is glorious – the color pops, particularly against the bare-bones background (another argument in favor of surrounding beauty with simplicity so the beauty can shine). Fabulous tailoring, with the rouching/wrinkling effect making her look more sophisticated instead of disheveled, which is a difficult thing to nail. And we don’t see a lot of long-sleeved dresses that aren’t sweaterdresses or shirtdresses or other clothing-dress hybrids. And as my sister Haley has pointed out about the late Alexander McQueen, it’s particularly impressive when a designer who is known for their extravagance (like McQueen and de la Renta) can nail a simple and wearable design. The Zac Posens of the world can rock simplicity, and others can nail the avant garde or ultra-glamorous, but someone who can do both is even more unique.

Oscar de la Renta Fall 2010

As my mother would say, That is a suit. I’d like to cut off the woman’s head, because she actually looks like a contestant on RuPaul’s Drag Race, but that jacket is exquisite – it would have gone into my Coats post, except for the fact that this is all about the look as a whole. The gloves (are they a part of the coat? If so, that’s awesome, if totally impractical), the tights (I NEED THOSE IN MY GIANT DRAWER OF CRAZY TIGHTS), and it just screams, I am a fabulous fall suit that you’d be an idiot not to want.

Oscar de la Renta Fall 2010

This deeply saturated, gorgeous blue color popped into several runway collections this year, and for good reason. It’s stunning. And the world always needs a dress draped in a new and interesting way. I’d nix the matchy-matchy purse, but that color really makes her glow.

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These weren’t my favorite individual looks overall, but these collections had the largest amount of designs that I loved (besides the two designers I’ll be blogging about later). My full list of the 15 best looks will be up this week.

Don’t take my word blindly. Check out all the beautiful pictures from Zac Posen’s collection and Oscar de la Renta’s collection at New York Magazine.

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New York Fashion Week’s Best Trend: The West

Welcome to the wild, wild west.

Farmers, cowboys, and Native Americans were the inspiration for many fabulous ensembles and even entire collections this season. Dozens of designers took the themes of the west to the runway this week, so I’d like to take a look at their different interpretations of the west.

The Cowboys
Some designers emphasized cowboy-style shirts, buttoned up to the neck, as an homage to the west.

Zac Posen Fall 2010

Posen went simple, elegant, and trendy with his satin urban cowgirl (and her particularly adorable shoes).

Alexandre Herchcovitch Fall 2010

Herchcovitch went more exaggerated and less wearable than Posen, but did a nice contrast of the hard studs with that beautiful purple print to nail the gritty-meets-pretty, cowgirl style.

The Period Pieces
Other designers weren’t afraid to go costumey, and dressed their models in full-on prairie girl and Native American garments.

Sophie Theallet Fall 2010

Theallet’s model is straight off of the Oregon Trail, just with more cleavage and less petticoats. Well done.

William Rast Fall 2010

I could do without the colored strings tied around her waist, but I love Rast’s indigenous feel, the beaded accessories, and their contrast to the combat-meets-couture boots.

Native Meets Modern

A few designers threw in just a little element of Native American style into an otherwise modern look.

Nanette Lepore Fall 2010

I doubt this lady had a curling iron and slim-fitting corduroys on the reservation in the 19th century, but the beaded top is simply beautiful.

Rodarte Fall 2010

This was certainly the most surprising and innovative use of the west; Rodarte went daring with a bright, traditionally western print in an otherwise soft and modern outfit.

A Class of Her Own

But nobody, and I mean nobody, did the west the way my girl Betsey did.

Betsey Johnson Fall 2010

She’s got Betsey’s interpretation of a cowboy hat, a gangster’s mask, a sherrif’s badge, and a toy gun. Leave it to Betsey to throw all those contradictions together and call it an outfit.

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