After eight weeks of grueling competition, WE’VE FINALLY MADE IT. It’s the March Fabness 2015 Finals, and only you can name the winner.
JENA MALONE vs. EMMA WATSON
Jena in Thom Browne; Emma in Dior
Jena: This is a trip. Can you even believe we’re here?
Emma: Um, yes. I basically never left from last year.
Jena in Roksanda; Emma in Hugo Boss
Jena: This is me, rolling my eyes at you.
Emma: This is me, rapidly running out of fucks to give.
Jena in Emanuel Ungaro; Emma in Narciso Rodriguez
Jena: She swears! Who knew Hermione could go so blue?
Emma: Who knew Johanna actually wore clothes?
Jena in Ulyana Sergeenko; Emma in Ralph Lauren
Jena: I don’t appreciate being COPIED, Emma. Also, your skirt is touching gravel and that’s gross.
Emma: It’s not a problem. I have someone on my staff whose entire job is to follow me around with a lint brush and a tiny little vacuum cleaner.
Jena in Reem Acra; Emma in Balenciaga
Jena: That sounds nice. I could use a personal drink-carrier when I’m wearing coats draped fashionably yet inconveniently over my shoulders.
Emma: Or when my arms are pinned to my sides by fabulous-but-restrictive sleeves!
Jena in Emilia Wickstead; Emma in Dior
Jena: May I ask, what do you even call whatever is happening on your lower half right now?
Emma: I have no idea. They send me clothes, I put them on, I gaze into the middle distance, and I sell the shit out of them. That’s all I know.
Jena in Adam Selman; Emma in Dior
Jena: I know my side-eye is facing the wrong direction, but I’m not quite sure you’re selling the shit out of this one.
Emma: Nope. You’re wrong. I’m flawless.
Jena in Valentino; Emma in BLK DNM/Dior
Jena: Fine. Game recognizes game. We both look awesome in unreasonably complex sheer fabrics, okay? Let’s call a truce.
Emma: NEVER. I am addicted to the Fabness, Jena. I cannot leave here empty-handed.
Jena in Thom Browne; Emma in Dior
Jena: Well, then you probably should have had a mega-huge press tour this year like I did, necessitating lots of wildly glamorous gowns.
Emma: Eh, it’s okay. I look as good in a trash bag as most girls do in gowns anyway. If I’d had a Hunger Games-number of premieres this year, that would almost be cheating.
Jena in Emilio Pucci; Emma in Misha Nonoo
Jena: Well, it’s good to think highly of yourself, Emma. Now say goodbye, and hand over that trophy.
Emma: OVER MY DEAD BODY.
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© Democracy Diva, 2015.
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