It’s time for Diva Dumpster Diving!

The Challenge: The contestants go dumpster diving for their unconventional materials – recycled technology – and are given one day to transform the materials into modern fashion. The coked-out editors went a little bit nuts, showing random words on the screen in bright 80s fonts that actually made me concerned I would go blind if I didn’t stop looking at the screen. Also, the designers had to walk back their shopping carts full of tech from God knows where to the workroom. Was that really necessary?

Also, Jake found out his dog died and left the competition. I know Lifetime was heavy-handed with the emotional manipulation, but I totally teared up. I’m a sucker like that.

Guest Judges: A Marie Claire editor and maybe also Paula Patton? Sorry, I couldn’t really bring myself to pay attention to either one of them.

ASHLEY NELL TIPTON
Top 3

Photo: Lifetime

Another strong entry from Ashley. She still hasn’t shown much in the way of versatility in her silhouettes, but the real genius of this piece was the print. She manipulated Polaroids to make the images bleed, and the resulting textile was absolutely fantastic. Furthermore, the dress was incredibly wearable, and the pockets were a delightful surprise. I wouldn’t have given her the win, because using Polaroid photos is just a little less risky than using, say, aluminum duct tubing. They already did the Hallmark challenge, so using thick paper as a material was just a teensy bit on the safe side, but I’d wear the resulting look in a heartbeat.

CANDICE CUOCO

Photo: Lifetime

Candice should maybe spend a little more time working on her designs, and a little less time shit-talking every single other designer for the cameras. This started off looking like an homage to one of my favorite unconventional challenge looks of all time  – Jillian Lewis’s twizzler bodice – but the result was stiff and awkward. Her model could barely move, and it probably wasn’t a great idea to do obvious white boob-markers without making them actually fall in the right place.

EDMOND NEWTON
Top 3

Photo: Lifetime

Overworked, overdesigned, and overrated. And I think the back is hideous. The judges even admitted that it was kind of falling apart up close, but then told Edmond at the end of the episode that his piece looked great from every angle. I am not falling for that bullshit, judges.

JOSEPH CHARLES POLI
Eliminated

Photo: Lifetime

A boring idea, poorly executed. A fair candidate for elimination, but honestly, I don’t think this was worse than Laurie’s entry, which was an even less interesting idea, and far more terribly constructed.

KELLY DEMPSEY
Winner

Photo: Lifetime

YAAAAAAS, KELLY FROM THE DELI! My girl finally won her a challenge, and more importantly, she deserved it. This looks like it’s from the Chanel Fall 2075 collection – you know, the one cryogenically-frozen Karl Lagerfeld held during the first Moon Fashion Week. The silhouette is simple, but simplicity was what Kelly needed in this challenge to show the judges she was more than the funny Boston deli girl. Her aluminum duct tubing stood out from the crowd of mouse pads and wires, and in a sea of manipulative editing and pandering to the cameras, Kelly had actual, real human emotions. And also didn’t know what the fuck Tim was talking about when he mentioned “paillettes.” Kelly, if you’re looking for a loud-mouthed five-foot-tall Jewish best friend, call me.

LAURIE UNDERWOOD

Photo: Lifetime

This was worthy of the auf. Sorry, Laurie, but your slapdash paint job didn’t transform the fact that you just tacked a bunch of mousepads on top of each other. She didn’t push herself to use a more difficult material, and she couldn’t even execute the fabric-like material she chose.

LINDSEY CREEL
Bottom 3

Photo: Lifetime

Props to Lindsey – the top of this, made out of computer keys, is pretty extraordinary. The skirt is not my favorite, but I’d still have thrown this into the top three over Edmond’s overworked LBD. Lindsey managed to have a hard/soft juxtaposition that felt very authentic and appropriate for the challenge, even if the skirt looks like a bit of an afterthought.

MERLINE LABISSIERE

Photo: Lifetime

A McQueen rip-off that’s falling apart, one wire at a time.

SWAPNIL SHINDE
Bottom 3

Photo: Lifetime

It was obvious Swapnil was going to be in the bottom as soon as they showed him smoking. Since Mad Men ended, is it even legal to show smoking on TV anymore? Yes, Swapnil’s broad declarations that he was only half-trying at every challenge were extremely obnoxious, but the heavy-handed “bad guy” editing was even more annoying. He might have a focus and/or work ethic problem, and he’s certainly got too much ego. But constant smoke breaks never seemed to bother the judges/producers back in Season 1, when winner Jay McCarroll and his fellow designers were shown doing the exact same thing on a regular basis.

Anyway, Swapnil basically cheated by using muslin for the skirt – I’d put him in the bottom three for that alone – and his wiry bodice was kind of all over the place. Here’s hoping he can stop the braggadocio bullshit and show us what he can really do.

Judges’ Top 3: Kelly, Edmond, Ashley
Diva’s Top 3: Kelly, Ashley, Lindsey
Judges’ Bottom 3: Swapnil, Lindsey, Joseph
Diva’s Bottom 3: Swapnil, Joseph, Laurie

—
© Democracy Diva, 2015.
. facebook . twitter .