Happy hungover Sunday! Let’s stare bleary-eyed at pretty things.
ELIZABETH BANKS at the A Bigger Splash premiere
gown by Marchesa, shoes by Jimmy Choo
Elizabeth Banks is perfect, and every spring bride in America will be wearing this in two years. But I have to move on now, because I’m too hungover to look at something this white for much longer.
ELIZABETH BANKS at the Black Mass premiere
gown by Andrew Gn
I think the strapless gown would have paired better with her hair down, or maybe a necklace. But this is still fucking stupendous.
ELIZABETH BANKS at the closing ceremony
gown by Emilia Wickstead
I’m not sure I love this shiny, fire-engine red fabric, but I think the pockets are phenomenal and the collar was a risk worth taking.
DIANE KRUGER at the closing ceremony
gown by Valentino
Too beautiful to be human.
DIANE KRUGER at the Black Mass premiere
gown by Hugo Boss by Jason Wu
That cranberry velvet fabric is just the best. And I love how she maintains that cool expression, like, “oh, this? I just threw this on after steamy limo sex with Pacey Witter.”
DIANE KRUGER at the 11 Minutes premiere
gown by Oscar de la Renta, purse by Rauwolf
It’s comforting to know that everyone has an off day, including magical starfish Diane Kruger. The embellishments on this dress just make me sad, and the platforms are not even a little bit okay.
JULIETTE BINOCHE at the The Wait premiere
gown by Armani Privé
I predicted Cate Blanchett would rock this couture gown, but I’m just as happy to drool over it on French superdiva Juliette Binoche. It is utterly gorgeous.
TILDA SWINTON at the A Bigger Splash premiere
gown by Haider Ackermann
TILDA IS EVERYTHING. SHE IS ELEVEN THOUSAND FEET OF MARTIAN ANDROGYNY AND I LOVE HER.
ALICIA VIKANDER
dress by House of Dagmar
I want all of this.
ALICIA VIKANDER at The Danish Girl premiere
gown by Louis Vuitton
She looks a little bit like she’s in costume for an old Western, but I’m not actually convinced that’s a bad thing in her case.
ALICIA VIKANDER at The Danish Girl photocall
dress by Louis Vuitton
I’ll take one in every color, please.
AMBER HEARD at The Danish Girl premiere
gown by Alexander McQueen
The flamenco dancer ruffle feels a little dated – and so does the floral print, actually – but overall, she still looks pretty damn lovely.
AMBER HEARD and JOHNNY DEPP at the Black Mass premiere
Amber’s gown by Stella McCartney
Johnny’s tuxedo and shoes by Dior Homme
She’s in the world’s least interesting gown and didn’t bother to do her hair; he looks like a middle-aged vampire. What a couple!
BERENICE BEJO at the El Clan premiere
dress by Zuhair Murad, shoes by Jimmy Choo
Why does she have bat wings instead of arms?
BERENICE BEJO at the The Childhood of a Leader photocall
dress by Monique Lhuillier
Ok, I would totally wear the shit out of this.
KRISTEN STEWART at the Equals premiere
dress by Chanel
She looks like the ghost of a 1920s-era Ophelia. Did I just write Kristen Stewart’s next movie? SOMEONE GIVE ME A MILLION DOLLARS.
KRISTEN STEWART at the Equals press conference
top and shorts by Chanel
Snooze.
DAKOTA JOHNSON at the A Bigger Splash press conference
dress by Rodarte, shoes by Paul Andrew
I could have liked her in this dress, but the “I can totally be as quirky as Alexa Chung!” shoes were a big mistake.
DAKOTA JOHNSON at the Black Mass premiere
gown by Prada
Shhhhhh. Approach Dakota very softly. You don’t want to scare the wild animal that’s taken residence on top of her head.
DAKOTA JOHNSON at the A Bigger Splash premiere
gown by Marc Jacobs
Honey, you’re TWENTY-FIVE. Lighten the fuck up. Jane Fonda looks more youthful and fancy-free than you.
Respond to 2015 Venice Film Festival, Part 2