Round 2 begins NOW.
JANELLE MONAE vs. VIOLA DAVIS
Janelle: Shame, isn’t it? You and I meeting in the second round?
Viola: See this statue I’m holding?
Janelle: Uh, yes?
Viola: It means I don’t have to give a shit about silly little contests anymore.
Janelle: Silly little contest? March Fabness is a time-honored, NOBLE tradition of –
Viola: No, you misunderstand. March Fabness is flawless, obviously.
Janelle: Whew. You had me nervous for a minute there.
Viola: My point is, once you have an Oscar, literally everything else on earth becomes a silly little game, no matter how vital and brilliant a celebrity fashion bracket it is.
Janelle: I understand.
Viola: No, you don’t. But you will. Someday.
Janelle: Really, Viola? You think I’ll win an Oscar?!
Viola: No, but it was fun to watch you get all excited!
DAKOTA FANNING vs. HAILEE STEINFELD
Dakota: What are you supposed to be? Disco Barbie?
Hailee: Weren’t you in Twilight?
Dakota: Um… no!
Hailee: No, I’m like definitely a thousand percent sure you were in Twilight. Like, more than once.
Dakota: I was NOT! I WAS, however, in New Moon.
Hailee: There ya go.
Dakota: And Eclipse.
Dakota: And Breaking Dawn Part 2.
Hailee: Yeah, that sounds about right.
Dakota: Now that that’s settled, what was your point?
Hailee: My point is that you were in Twilight. And thus you never get to judge anyone else’s choices, ever again.
ZACHARY QUINTO vs. THANDIE NEWTON
Zachary: Hm? What was that? Are you talking to me? I’m just walking around, beautifully, with beautiful dogs, in beautiful pants, being beautiful.
Thandie: Uh… I didn’t say anything.
Zachary: How did I get this perfect wave in my hair, you ask? Two words: unicorn blood.
Thandie: First of all, I didn’t ask, and second, ew. And also, WHAT?!
Zachary: Did you know that turtles also have necks?
Thandie: … Seriously, buddy. Are you okay?
Zachary: Why yes, Thandie, my beard IS resplendent!
Thandie: You’re definitely not okay.
Zachary: And yes, I AM planning on single-handedly bringing back the waistcoat!
Thandie: Good to know.
Zachary: I’m sorry. Sometimes, a man can become so handsome and well-dressed, he simply loses his mind.
Thandie: You are absolutely insufferable, do you know that?
KATE BOSWORTH vs. DIANE KRUGER
Diane: Yes, Kate?
Kate: Well, I thought I had a shot at this damn competition, but now that’s over.
Kate: Uh, because you’re here?
Diane: No, why did you think you had a shot at winning this in the first place?
Kate: Wow. You really didn’t come to play, did you?
Diane: Not even slightly.
Kate: So what am I supposed to do? Just give up?
Diane: No! That would take all the fun out of destroying you.
Kate: Fine. If we’re doing this, I’m wearing my body weight in diamonds.
Diane: Bring it.