It’s FINALLY fucking Friday.
EMMA STONE vs. GABRIELLE UNION
Emma: So… is he gone?
Gabrielle: Is who gone?
Emma: YOU know.
Gabrielle: No, I definitely don’t.
Emma: *whispers* Ryan.
Emma: Keep your voice down, woman!
Gabrielle: Sorry! So, why are we hiding from Ryan Gosling?
Emma: Well – not hiding, per se, just –
Gabrielle: Out with it, Stone.
Emma: He is quite possibly the clingiest human being on the planet.
Gabrielle: Oh, yeah, it must be just AWFUL having him around all the time. How TERRIBLE for you.
TARAJI P. HENSON vs. BELLA HADID
Taraji: Haii, Bella!
Bella: *glumly* Hi.
Taraji: Why so blue, honey?
Bella: Who said I’m blue?
Taraji: Well, if that’s your happy face, I’ve got some killer antidepressants I can recommend.
Bella: I’ve got a clutch full of Xanax, Taraji. I don’t need more.
Taraji: I’m just saying, it’s a competition! It’s supposed to be fun!
Bella: Is it?
Taraji: Yes! That’s why we’re both making ridiculous Blue Steel faces, isn’t it?
Bella: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Taraji: Fine, you glum bitch. I give up. Mope away.
Bella: Whatever. My diamond necklace would beat yours in a fight.
EVAN RACHEL WOOD vs. ELLE FANNING
Evan: Oh, hiiii, sweetie!
Elle: … Hey?
Evan: Aww, look at you, widdle darling!!
Elle: Why are you talking to me like that?
Evan: You’re like a little doll!
Elle: I’m actually a human person.
Evan: No, you’re a Disney princess! Look at you! Birds dress you in the morning!
Elle: No, that sounds weird and unsanitary.
Evan: I think your dress might actually have a zebra-unicorn, a pink poodle, and various emojis on it.
Evan: SO, you are virtually indistinguishable from a cartoon character.
Elle: Fine. Will a column gown shut you up?
KARLIE KLOSS vs. RUTH NEGGA
Karlie: Hi, Ruth! Love the Peter Pan collar!
Ruth: Ugh. Real nice, Karlie.
Karlie: What’s that on your dress – birds? How interesting!
Ruth: “Interesting”? Seriously?
Karlie: What? I think your green fingernails make a lot of sense with that outfit!
Ruth: Your sarcasm is really unnecessary.
Karlie: Sarcasm?! Can’t a woman compliment another woman’s fringe-sleeves?
Ruth: Not the way you just did.
Karlie: Whatever, I still think you look like a cool Game of Thrones character.
Ruth: Okay, now I KNOW that’s an insult.
Karlie: But I – I really wasn’t – I actually do like – ugh, I give up. You’re the worst.
Ruth: See? I KNEW you actually hated me.