March Fabness 2018, Round 2: Dior & McQueen Brackets

New polls, new looks, same bitchiness. 

JANELLE MONÁE vs. CARA DELEVINGNE

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Janelle in Diane von Furstenberg vs. Cara in Dior

Janelle: Finally, a worthy opponent.

Cara: Really? Me?

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Janelle in Wolk Morais vs. Cara in Mugler

Janelle: Um, no. I was just being polite.

Cara: Well, that didn’t last very long.

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Janelle in Christian Cowan vs. Cara in Atelier Versace

Janelle: I’m reigning champion, Cara. What did you expect?

Cara: I don’t know. Common decency, maybe?

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Janelle in Andrew Gn vs. Cara in Burberry

Janelle: Your eyebrows are famous. There. Was that enough?

Cara: You’re wearing one earring with a tassel that reaches your nipple. Are you really gonna judge ME?

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Janelle in Bella Freud vs. Cara in Moschino

Janelle: You just don’t understand my creativity.

Cara: How many colors do you own that same suit in? Nine? Real creative.

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Janelle vs. Cara in Iris van Herpen

Janelle: Ex-fucking-SCUSE me?

Cara: I’m sorry, could you not hear me under that ridiculous hat?

LUPITA NYONG’O vs. PRIYANKA CHOPRA

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Lupita in Halpern vs. Priyanka

Lupita: Good morning, darling!

Priyanka: Hey there, sweetheart!

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Lupita in Emporio Armani vs. Priyanka in Michael Kors

Lupita: Ugh, I love that we can stay so congenial in the midst of a fashion battle to the death.

Priyanka: Me too! Wait, what?

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Lupita in Ralph & Russo vs. Priyanka in Payal Khandwala

Lupita: I just think it’s rather beautiful that we’re about to murder each other and can still exchange niceties.

Priyanka: You mean “murder” like, “slay,” right?

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Lupita in Kevin Mayes vs. Priyanka in Vivienne Westwood

Lupita: Sure! Slay, murder, bludgeon to a bloody pulp, whatever works best.

Priyanka: I’m starting to get the sense that you’re not kidding.

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Lupita in Armani Privé vs. Priyanka in Bottega Veneta

Lupita: Kidding? About what?

Priyanka: We don’t actually fight to the death, Lupita.

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Lupita in Elie Saab vs. Priyanka in Balmain

Lupita: Really? Then why did I just decimate you?

Priyanka: I don’t know, but you’ll be hearing from my lawyers.

NAOMIE HARRIS vs. EMMA WATSON

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Naomie in J.W. Anderson vs. Emma in Oscar de la Renta

Naomie: Ugh.

Emma: Pardon me?

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Naomie in Delpozo vs. Emma in BreelayneEdun

Naomie: Not YOU.

Emma: What do you have against me?

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Naomie in L’AgenceVictoria Beckham for Target vs. Emma in Rosie Assoulin

Naomie: You wear MAYBE eleven mediocre looks a year, and make it into this competition on goodwill alone.

Emma: So it’s my fault that I am beloved by basically everyone?

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Naomie vs. Emma in Louis Vuitton

Naomie: I’m just saying that if I played Hermione, I’d get votes for no reason too.

Emma: How dare you doubt my fashion cred. I was the face of Burberry when I was eighteen!

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Naomie in Michael Kors vs. Emma in Ronald van der Kemp

Naomie: And now you’re the face of Girl, Interrupted bangs.

Emma: I’ll have you know this haircut cost six hundred dollars.

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Naomie in Tibi vs. Emma in Ralph Lauren

Naomie: As wise an investment as your misspelled tattoo.

Emma: It’s only missing an apostrophe. And it’s TEMPORARY!!!

SAOIRSE RONAN vs. DIANE KRUGER

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Saoirse in Narciso Rodriguez vs. Diane in Rag & Bone

Saoirse: Wie geht es dir, Diane?

Diane: I’m doing great! Conas atá tú?

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Saoirse in Gucci vs. Diane in Frame

Saoirse: Ooh, Irish Gaelic! Somebody did their homework.

Diane: Google is a marvelous thing.

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Saoirse in Teresa Helbig vs. Diane in Tory Burch

Saoirse: It’s great to be here across the pond, isn’t it? How was your flight?

Diane: I actually live in New York.

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Saoirse in Calvin Klein vs. Diane in Prada

Saoirse: Oh. Well. At least you’re not an American citizen!

Diane: Um… I’ve actually been a citizen for like, five years.

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Saoirse in Chanel vs. Diane in Giambattista Valli

Saoirse: You poor dear.

Diane: I can’t even be offended. It’s not great.

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Saoirse in Louis Vuitton vs. Diane in Jonathan Simkhai

Saoirse: Well, you’re welcome at my home in Ireland when the revolution starts.

Diane: You’re too kind, Saoirse. See you soon!

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© Democracy Diva, 2018.
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3 responses to March Fabness 2018, Round 2: Dior & McQueen Brackets

  1. OOF. That one clearly had to go to Janelle but it’s a real tragedy to watch Cara go down with such wonderful looks while so many other basic bitches advance??? The bracket is full of injustices.

  2. Kati

    I will not forgive Emma Watson for those terrible bangs. Girl, you have Harry Potter money, you can get someone else to do your bangs for you. I DON’T have Harry Potter money and I can still afford to get someone else to trim my damn bangs.

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