New York Fashion Week: Spring 2011’s Biggest Trends

The great thing about having the flu is that I have all the time in the world to blog! We’ve got some serious fabulous to get through, so let’s start with New York Fashion Week’s hottest (and nottest) trends.

Splattered Paint

Project Runway: April Johnston Spring 2011

I first noticed this fabulous trend while flipping through the Project Runway collections. I couldn’t believe how strange and sexy the paint splattered across the models’ thighs seemed. This absolutely gorgeous top is also paint-splattered. It’s hard to make something like that look expensive instead of gimmicky, but April nailed it, through and through. And clothes artfully splattered with paint made their way up and down dozens of other runways during New York Fashion Week.

Richie Rich Spring 2011

Carlos Miele Spring 2011

Alexandre Herchcovitch Spring 2011

Betsey Johnson Spring 2011

The American West

The wild wild west was a huge trend last season, and the love of the heartland permeated this season as well. The influences ranged from Native American to prairie girl to old-time saloon whore, and they spanned collections from Ralph Lauren to Anna Sui.

Anna Sui Spring 2011

Betsey Johnson Spring 2011

L.A.M.B. Spring 2011

Vivienne Tam Spring 2011

Ralph Lauren Spring 2011

Fugly Sunglasses

The world’s ugliest sunglasses made appearances on the face of every malnourished woman over 5’10” this season. Inspired by John Lennon, that atrocious remake of Willy Wonka, and those little plastic glasses they make you wear at the tanning salon, an embarrassingly large number of designers showcased some seriously fugly sunglasses. Let’s take a look.

Tracy Reese

Alexandre Herchcovitch Spring 2011

Anna Sui Spring 2011

Diane von Furstenberg Spring 2011

Leifsdottir Spring 2011

Knitwear

Nothing like a little crocheting to get your through the spring! Knitwear, particularly in black, white and cream, was all over the runway this season. Shirts, coats, dresses and more, designers focused on the beautiful intricacies of knit garments in their collections.

Anna Sui Spring 2011

Ralph Lauren Spring 2011

Tibi Spring 2011

Vivienne Tam Spring 2011

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Check back here for more Fashion Week updates! Look out for posts on my red carpet predictions, my favorite collections, and the best and worst looks of New York Fashion Week! Follow me on twitter for all the latest news @democracydiva.

Posted by democracydiva

The Week in Fashion

The Fashion Professionals

Vogue Editor Lauren Santo Domingo

This bitch has “fashion editor” written all over her. She’s a doppelganger to Dianna Agron (Glee‘s Quinn), only twice as fashionable. That skirt is beyond gorgeous and belongs in my closet immediately. Why don’t we all own perfectly fitted pencil skirts in crazy gorgeous prints? And those heels scream Vogue from a mile away. The perfect highlights, and that glance over the shoulder like she owns Manhattan. God bless her.

Photo by Sam Horine via New York Magazine

Fashion blogger Emily Theobald

This is proof of how a few classic but simple items are all you need. A vintage sundress, a skinny belt, brown sandals, and oversized sunglasses – all perfect for a late summer’s day of running around the city. It’s quirky and casual, like a professional blogger should be – you can tell by her laid back appearance that her work day involves a comfy chair, a dog on her lap, and a strong cup of coffee.

Joanna Hillman, senior fashion market editor at Harper's Bazaar

And this lady’s outfit says fashion/business all the way. The blouse is gorgeous, very European-looking, but crisp, so you know she’s serious. Those pants are the perfect cranberry color and make this skinny bitch’s legs look about eight miles long. The sunglasses, purse, lipstick and shoes say “I’m fabulous and you better not fuck with me,” but the casual braid says “See how I don’t even have to try hard to look this good?”

Jilian Sanz, fashion director of Haute Living magazine

And this woman looks like a Parisian socialite – she’d be complete if she were holding a Lanvin shopping bag. The sheer blouse compared to the long, sturdy skirt is a nice mix, and that greyish pink mauve leather is gorgeous. And the little eyelet peep-toe heels? Precious. Not to mention the jewelry, which makes the outfit.

The Fashion Show Attendees

Leighton Meester at the Derek Lam fashion show

Combat boots? With white sweatsocks? Leighton, are you trying to give me an aneurysm? The dress (or perhaps sweater/skirt combo) is dull as they come, and the metal bracelets taking over both her wrists give off a Wonder Woman vibe, and not in a good way. And what’s with the lack of hairstyle and makeup? This is New York Fashion Week. You’re going to have to try a hell of a lot harder than that.

Jenna Ushkowitz at the Rebecca Taylor fashion show

Attention, universe: Jenna Ushkowitz is clearly in desperate need of a stylist. That awful color, the oversized top, the whole peasant vibe it gives off, and that dreaded headband – this girl needs to be saved.

Portia de Rossi at the Richie Rich fashion show

Portia, who cut your bangs? Actually, let me put that more accurately: How fucking drunk was the blind mental patient who cut your bangs? Seriously, Portia is ordinarily a beautiful woman and here she looks like a seven-year-old boy.

Sarah Jessica Parker at the Diane Von Furstenberg fashion show

The hair looks as if she just barely escaped and wind tunnel, and the dress looks more like my grandmother’s droopy old apron than anything that should be in the same room as Diane Von Furstenberg.

The Fashion Party-Goers

Leighton Meester in Marc Jacobs

Way to turn up the heat, B! Leighton redeems herself in one of my favorite looks from Marc Jacobs’s Resort 2011 collection. The dress is breathtaking on her, the purse is completely badass, and I think the white shoes were a bold and wise choice. And see the difference it makes when her hair and makeup are done? Poof, instant starlet.

Alexis Bledel

Our very own Rory Gilmore was all over the Fashion Week scene. I’m liking the lighter hair color, and though the dress is pretty overdone, it’s cute enough. Particularly for someone who doesn’t dress particularly well. The pumps and clutch were an obvious choice, as was the matchy-matchy gold bracelet, but who can say no to those blue eyes?

Outside New York

Alexa Chung in Rachel Antonoff

Alexa Chung takes over London in this fabulous little yellow number. Perfect cut and fit, a bright and fun print, and freaking adorable grey booties.

Cate Blanchett in Christian Lacroix

Holy hell. Now this is a dress. The sleeves, the neck line, the colors, the fit, the draping of the skirt, the impeccable details – Cate truly looks like royalty in this gown. Her porcelain skin and boyish haircut just add another element of high fashion to an already fantastic look.

Emma Stone

Too big on top, too short on bottom, too long in the sleeves, tacky colors, and a vomit-inducing print. Yup, this is about as many mistakes as you can make at once on the red carpet.

Carey Mulligan

Oh, jeez. What is it, Carey, your bat mitzvah? What post-adolescent woman would be caught dead in something so Tinker Bell? It’s just incredibly immature. Even the cut of the dress looks more appropriate for a little girl than a woman. And the shoes only make matters worse. Glinda the Good Witch would look at this and go, “Whoa, girl. Chill out on the sparkles.”

Blake Lively in Chanel Haute Couture

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Blake Lively was the best dressed of the week, in my humble opinion. I am literally drooling over this blood red Chanel dress, which shines like it was laquered. And although it brings to mind awkward images of flowers sprouting from Serena’s nether regions, I think the red flowers are absolutely breathtaking. It looks so meticulously made, and it fits Blake like a second skin. The matching shoes are intense, but I think they make a strong statement. Her cocktail rings are what truly complete this look, especially the one that matches the dress. And with her red lipstick and effortlessly sexy blonde hair, Blake looks damn near perfect here.

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I’m reviewing all the collections from New York Fashion Week, so keep checking back for updates! And follow me on twitter @democracydiva.

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Project Runway S8 E8

This episode was, in the great words of Heidi Klum, a snooze-fest. Design an American sportswear look with the great Jackie O as the inspiration. Could’ve been great, except that most of the designers choked and came up with something boring and irrelevant to the challenge. And in response, the judges were so unreasonably mean that the show became uncomfortable to watch. Oh, well. Let’s start the show.

Andy – Bottom 3

Believe it or not, the worst thing about this look is not the way those pants ride up her ass. It’s that Andy deluded himself into thinking that Jackie Kennedy would actually wear this. The shirt is as nothing as nothing gets, the vest is boring and strangely proportioned, and those pants… Sigh. I might be able to forgive Andy for making a great pair of pants that Jackie would never wear, or an awful pair of pants that Jackie would wear, but this… this is inexcusable. You don’t get to fuck up on the inspiration AND the execution without hearing some truly heartbreaking jibes from Michael Kors. The judges were incredibly harsh this week, but after staring at these pants, I’m not sure I can blame them. But I agree with Nina – as horrible as these pants are, at least Andy is the type of designer who will surprise us. As far as I’m concerned, that’s reason enough for keeping him on the show.

April – Safe

Okay, I get it. Black is a thing. Some designers can get away with entire collections of nothing but black. But April, you’re not there yet. And this is like the eightieth black outfit you’ve made on this show. Step out of your comfort zone and into the world of technicolor, please.

That being said, the dress is cute. I like the two different black fabrics sewn together – it looks expensive and stylish. I can’t really tell what that thing over her shoulder is supposed to be, and I’m not quite sure what about this dress is Jackie O, but I think it’s nice all the same. But I’m still wondering if April can design for any customer except herself.

Christopher – Top 3

Gorgeous dress, fugly coat. The dress is soft and elegant, and I love that it’s a little bit Grecian, like Jackie in the Onassis years. But holy hell, it looks like she’s wearing road kill around her shoulders. It’s about as subtle as Lady Gaga’s meat dress.

Gretchen – Safe

Obviously Jackie Kennedy’s style spanned the decades, but the reason she is an icon is because of her classic 1960s style. That’s why they brought on January Jones, the star and fashion icon of a show set in the early 1960s, as the guest judge. So can someone tell me why Gretchen went hardcore 1970s for every part of this look? The tacky print and the looseness of the skirt, the revealing top, the oversized sweater, and that goddamn camel color she loves so much – it’s screaming disco, which is not what Jackie was about. It just makes me feel like Gretchen really can only do one aesthetic – modern takes on 1970s fashion in butt-ugly colors. I can’t support that style in general, but certainly not in a Jackie O challenge.

Ivy – Top 3

I liked the neckline of the white top, and I felt that overall, this look felt like Jackie O. But it lacks the elegance and glamour that she embodied – it’s like Ivy designed for the poor man’s First Lady instead of the real deal. And I think the back of that jacket is just a mess. But this is the first look Ivy’s designed all season that I didn’t absolutely hate. So, I guess that’s something.

Michael C – Safe

It’s not sportswear. And it’s not Jackie. It’s an evening gown with a denim trench. Michael C has more lives than a cat, but his time is coming, kittens. We’re getting down to the fun part of the season – where all the people on the show actually have talent. And while Michael C and Ivy may have been able to hold their own against AJ and Casanova, they simply lack the talent of designers like Mondo and April. They’ve both shown way more bad looks than good ones, and I’m dreaming of a double elimination in which Michael Kors just vomits all over their designs.

Michael D – Eliminated

Tom & Lorenzo called this a Monet – cute from afar, but a total mess when you get closer – and I think they’re absolutely right. Everything is reasonably cute, if a little cheap looking, from far away. But look closely – everything is actually kind of a mess. I don’t hate the jacket as much as the judges did, but there’s no excuse for those ill-fitting tank tops. My biggest pet peeve is when designers spend so much time and effort on one part of their look that they completely ignore another part of it. This problem was an epidemic in this challenge – it happened with Andy’s boring white shirt, it happened with Valerie’s black skirt, and it happened here, with those sad, droopy shirts. And while a modern tween might rock that skirt, Jackie Kennedy would not have done so.

Mondo – Winner

Do I even have to say anything, dear readers? THIS. IS. AMAZING. This is by far my favorite look of the season, and I’m pretty sure it’s in my top 5 best Project Runway designs of all time. The shock of purple as the lining of the coat was simply brilliant – it’s Mondo’s keen eye for detail that takes this look from great to incredible. That top is classic American sportswear in the best sense of the term. It fits so incredibly well, and it was a stroke of genius to take the cuffs of the sleeves and do them in vertical stripes instead of horizontal. And my faithful readers know by now that I’m obsessed with sleeves that hit right at the elbow – Mondo’s picking up on a great trend.

And that skirt. I could write a love sonnet in iambic pentameter about that skirt, but I’ll spare you. The print is stunning and it fits her like a dream. I believe Jackie Kennedy would actually have worn that exact garment, and I can’t say that for any other singular item on this runway.

Valerie – Bottom 3

I think the judges were unreasonably hard on Valerie this week. Yes, she was stupid to completely overlook the skirt and make something so basic and boring. But I see nothing wrong with the colors of the vest and jacket that the judges complained about. And did they really get on her case for making a jacket over a jacket when the challenge forced her to make outerwear even when she’d already made the jacket? That’s just unfair. Obviously she didn’t want to do two layers of outerwear, but she had no choice, and I think the vest was a smart idea. It kept her from getting too bulky. And while I agree that the collar is a little sad, I think the vest itself is pretty cute. I don’t know exactly where Jackie O fits into this outfit, but I’m glad we get to keep Valerie around a little longer. I know she’s got more to show us.

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Up next on the blog: Your weekly fashion recap, focusing on who wore what to which fashion show! And of course, I’ll be working on the best and worst New York Fashion Week! Get all the updates on twitter @democracydiva!

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The 2010 VMAs Red Carpet

Rihanna

Let’s study this from top to bottom.

I’m so over Rihanna’s Elmo hair, it’s not even funny.
Really? A hippie headband? Who is she, Mary-Kate Olsen in 2008?
What’s going on with her breasts? Pardon me, but she looks like her implants deflated. Invest in a push-up bra or a new plastic surgeon, honey.
What a pathetic attempt at a Madonna costume. One crucifix necklace, a bra-esque top and a big poofy skirt? Put a little more effort into your imitations.
I kind of like those boots. Because Rayanne Graff would have worn them.

Emma Stone in Pucci

Emma Stone, why so serious? You keep getting cast in movies, you are everyone’s go-to for the cute little alternative vixen. And your lisp is so precious, I can’t even handle it. So dress up! No reason to wrap your face in a frown and your body in a cheap bag of garbage. Wear something bright, feel good in it, and light up the red carpet like I know you can.

Kesha

And I thought Emma Stone’s dress looked too much like trash bags… now I can see that that was a subtle take on this trash-tastic ensemble. But what’s far worse than that dress is what I thought was a scarf and now can see it’s KESHA’S HAIR. That giant braid is longer than the bitch’s arm.

Ashley Greene in Giambattista Valli

Surprisingly cute, classy and formal, considering it’s the VMAs. The bodice is adorable, I like the draping on the skirt, but I think she could use a really blingin’ necklace. Cute bracelet and purse, though. And SMILE, BITCHES! It’s the VMAs. It’s not like any of these awards actually matter. Just have a good time.

Katy Perry in Marchesa

Katy Perry's nails

I’m not much of a Katy Perry fan, and I usually hate how she styles herself, but even I must admit that this is kind of adorable. It’s like the super-gay version of Ashely Greene’s dress.It’s more appropriate for an ice dancer than a red carpet, but it’s sexy and intriguing and costumey and fun. I hate the pink lipstick and the shoes are kind of immature, but I love the illusion of nudity and the way the skirt ways. And check out her fingernails – individual faces of her beau Russell Brand. Creepy, but if I was the woman who got Russell Brand to settle down, I’d show it off too.

Florence Welch in Givenchy Haute Couture

Oh my God, it’s Florence. She is a total powerhouse with a ridiculous voice – she’s a true artist, which is why she gave by far the best performance at the VMAs. It also didn’t hurt that she was basically the only performer who didn’t lip sync, and furthermore, she’s that rare performer who STILL SOUNDS FUCKING AWESOME when she’s singing live and running around the stage like a maniac. Her and Gaga are the only artists in recent VMAs memory to achieve such a thing.

I’ve known for months that Florence was a crazy-amazing musician, but until the VMAs, I didn’t know that she’s also a total fashionista. She’s wearing Givenchy haute couture and NAILING it, which is something that a fashion newbie just can’t do. It’s totally glam, but that zipper down the middle keeps it a little more casual and appropriate for the event. And that gold color against her jaw-droppingly red hair is perfect. And I love a redhead who’s not afraid to rock red lipstick. Perfect fit, adorable purse, and a long-sleeved formal gown is always interesting.

Lady Gaga in Alexander McQueen

What on earth could be more dramatic than wearing head-to-toe McQueen from his final collection? Only a diva in the truest sense of the word can get away with that. She’s posing like she knows she’s winning Video of the Year – I mean, it’s not like anything can even compare to “Bad Romance” – and the fact that she can walk in those twelve inch – yes, TWELVE inch – heels is simply astounding. And honestly? It’s not that insane, for Gaga. It has an element of wearability that many of her outfits lack. I mean, she’s still wearing a mohawk made of feathers, but at least you can see her face.

Lady Gaga in Armani

It took her ten minutes to get on the stage in this, but from what I can see, it’s gorgeous and dramatic, like the Lady herself.

Lady Gaga in Franc Fernandez

And here is the infamous meat dress, which everyone found shocking because they didn’t see the meat outfit she wore on a magazine cover last week. And yes, friends, this is actually raw meat. I actually think the shoes and hat are awesome. The dress, well, just looks like meat. I know that’s the point, but it could have a little more design to it. (I say this having never tried to sew meat together before, so forgive me for my ignorance.) And there’s something so glamorous about raw meat accessorized with a shitload of diamonds. This is the extreme version of gritty-meets-pretty. Or gritty-meats-pretty, I suppose.

And whether you love or hate this, or it just makes you hungry or nauseous, you can’t deny that Gaga saying, “I never thought I’d be asking Cher to hold my meat purse!” is probably the funniest thing in VMAs history.

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Project Runway recap will be up tomorrow! Check back later for that post and your weekly fashion recap.

Posted by democracydiva

The Week in Fashion

It’s New York Fashion Week! And although I’m not blogging about the collections quite yet, there’s still a lot of fabulous happening on the red carpet, in the front rows of the fashion shows, and in the magazines this week. So let’s get started!

Editorials: Divas in the News

Lea Michele in Magaschoni top & Michael Kors leggings for Glamour

I am fully in love with this picture. Glamour should have chosen it for the cover, but of course they went with one where she’s not wearing pants. Sigh. Regardless, there’s something so fabulously A Chorus Line about this outfit. Totally what you’d expect a Broadway star to be lounging around in on her day off. And the bangs, the eyes, the lips – she’s looking totally gorgeous.

Marc Jacobs and Lady Gaga in Louis Vuitton for V Magazine

Lady Gaga as the Statue of Liberty, half naked, in front of a shopping cart, with Marc Jacobs sitting on a television next to her. I can’t say I get it, but I certainly like it.

Lady Gaga for Vogue Hommes Japan

I am loving this cover. Perfect pose, perfect make-up, fabulous nails, and her smokin’ body is covered in raw meat. Gaga knows how to get people to pay attention, and this is a perfect example of that quality. And if anybody can rock a raw meat ensemble, it’s Lady Gaga. She makes it look like fashion.

The Venice Film Festival

Natalie Portman in custom Rodarte

I don’t like the hair and I probably wouldn’t have chosen white shoes, but everything else about this look is simply gorgeous. The dress is sexy as hell but not revealing; it feels like classic red carpet Hollywood but has all sorts of tricks and complexities to it. The straps and shoulders and the bodice are just stunning, and as usual, Natalie looks like an Israeli goddess.

Jessica Alba in Valentino

Why, Jessica? Why is your skirt so much longer in the back than in the front? Is this a white trash themed costume party and your dress is a coy reference to the mullet? There is just nothing attractive about a mullet skirt, honey.

Michelle Williams in Jason Wu

That right-to-the-elbow sleeve length keeps popping up and I’m fully obsessed with it. And although this is a blah color, Michelle is absolutely rocking this. I’m a little over the neck bow trend – Kate Beckinsale and Carey Mulligan wore them all over Cannes – but I still think this is just precious and classy and it still maintains Michelle’s hipster-chic aesthetic.

Michelle Williams

Perfection. I’d wear that dress in a heartbeat, and those shoes are killer. She could not be cuter.

Clemence Poesy in Louis Vuitton

Parisian chic at its best, our very own Fleur Delacour is rocking a look that always looks better on French girls. A silk shirt with a giant bow tucked into a blue skirt, plus sex hair and barely-there makeup? Simply beautiful.

Fashion Elite at New York Fashion Week

Diane Kruger in Chanel at the Chanel Boutique opening party

Oy. Well, at least the shoes are cute. The rest is just too much. Sloppy hair and all that fabric? Plus a belt over it? She looks like she’s in a slutty chicken suit.

Blake Lively in Chanel at the Chanel Boutique opening party

I’m pretty sure I’ve never before seen Blake in an outfit that didn’t expose her boobs and/or legs. So I respect the attempt to cover up, and the Mary Jane shoes are awesome, but this dress is beyond tacky. And blow dry your fucking hair before you go to a Chanel fashion week party. Show some respect.

Blake Lively in Marchesa at Fashion’s Night Out: The Show

Okay, you win. I’m obsessed with this. Showing a lot of leg and a bit of boob, like Lively always should. That print is beyond gorgeous, the bracelets are kickass, the shoes are fierce, and I like the makeup. I think she’s always absurdly lazy about her hair, which is why she’s rocking a pony, but at least it works.

Leighton Meester in Versus at Fashion’s Night Out: The Show

Well, this is fugly. Like, so fugly I wouldn’t even wear it as a Halloween costume. It’s glorified underwear, and worse than that, it just looks cheap and tacky. If you want to go out on the town half-naked, so be it, but your outfit still has to be chic and fabulous, and this is NOT.

Maggie Grace in Christian Siriano at his Spring 2011 fashion show

Another epic print and adorable silhouette by the lovely and talented Christian Siriano. (Although the blogosphere is saying his collection this week was underwhelming… but we’ll get to that in a few posts.) I love this dress because it’s effortless – it does all the work for Maggie. Just throw on heels and eyeliner and you’re ready to go.

Miscellaneous Fabulous and Fugly

Hello, teeny little waist! America Ferrera looks completely amazing in this dress. I’m obsessed with the sleeves and collar, the skinny belt is perfect, the length is super-flattering, and the accessories are simple and perfect. I think every professional woman should have this dress hanging in their closet.

Jessica Simpson in a design from her own denim collection

Jessica is modeling her own design, so there is no one to blame for this atrocity except for Jessica herself. I am getting physically ill at the sight of that cheap denim with the tacky gold zippers and buttons. This is denim at its worst.

Katrina Bowden in Theia

It’s pretty easy to always look great when you’re blonde and blue-eyed and approximately eleven pounds, like 30 Rock‘s Cerie. But Katrina keeps cropping up on best-dressed lists, and this dress proves she deserves it. Another adorable and unique print, which is always nice to see. She could use a necklace, bracelet, or purse – just something to make her look less naked. But this is a fabulous little number.

Kim Kardashian

Dear Kim:

What, what, what are you doing? Look at those leggings. Look at your choices.

Love,

The Democracy Diva

Lea Michele in Erdem

I’ve blogged about dresses nearly identical to this twice so far – Chloe Sevigny rocked one at the Met Gala, and Eva Mendes wore it in July 2010. So I’m a little bit over this, but I still think a long-sleeved cocktail dress is a wonderful thing. And even though it’s overdone, the color and print are beautiful. But can we please talk about Lea’s hair? This better be for Glee, because if Lea is actually choosing to wear those horribly distracting highlights/extensions, this may be the end of my love affair with her. (Just kidding. I’ll always love you, Lea.)

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I’m working on your fashion week posts as we speak! Stay up-to-date by following me on twitter @democracydiva!

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Project Runway Recap: S8 E7

This week’s challenge was to create a resort look. The catch? After the contestants designed their looks and went fabric shopping, they then had to partner up and construct their partner’s design. But the judging was conducted based on who designed the look, not who constructed it. Drama ensued: Ivy is neurotic, Michael D can’t sew, Valerie needs some love from the judges (or a Xanax), Casanova can’t speak English but has good vision, etc. But who gives a shit about anything except the clothes? Let’s start the show.

Andy’s Design – Top 3
(Constructed by Valerie)

These pictures don’t quite show the unique and intriguing silhouette of this sexy swimsuit, but this was mega-hot. It’s so rare to see a truly interesting swimsuit, and Andy gave us just that. Perfectly constructed and brilliantly designed, I had shockingly few complaints. First was the color of the cover-up, which came across much uglier on television than in these photos. Second was how long it took the model to untie that knot and reveal the swimsuit – designers, models should not spend the entire walk down the runway trying to undo a bow. Drama = fully clothed, then one pull of a string, then voila! Sex. The judges gave this some love, but it was my pick for the winner.

April’s Design – Winner
(Constructed by Christopher)

The top half of this is fierce, fabulous, and totally deserving of the win it received. I’m all about those funky straps, and I even like the zipper in back, though I will throw up if I see one more zipper on this runway. And though some bloggers and critics think the sheer material is too lingerie for resort wear, I think it’s just sexy and fabulous.

But that panty? Dear readers, I cannot support that panty. It’s just. So. Big. Everything sexy about the straps and sheerness is forgotten when we see the world’s giantest grandma panty. Maybe April was trying to lessen some of the sex appeal by making the shorts bigger, because she feared it would be downright slutty, but a panty that starts at your bellybutton is a friend to no one.

Casanova’s Design – Eliminated
(Constructed by Gretchen)

Ugly pants and a matronly top. Isn’t this what Casanova designed in every episode? It was not nearly as bad as Ivy’s design, but I understand why the judges eliminated dear Casanova for this – it’s like he hasn’t listened to a word the judges have said to him throughout this competition. But I didn’t think the biggest problem was how matronly it was – I thought the problem was that this is the furthest thing from resort wear that I could imagine. Nothing about those ugly office pants is resort, and that shirt could not look less relaxed – it’s physically restraining her arms from moving. Resort wear is about relaxing vacation wear, whether it’s swimsuits or evening wear, but whatever Casanova designed here, it was not resort.

Christopher’s Design
(Constructed by April)

The shorts looked like a funny length on TV, but I’m liking them better now. And I’d wear that shirt tomorrow. I’d have considered putting this in the top 3.

Gretchen’s Design
(Constructed by Casanova)

This is one of the ugliest garments I’ve ever seen. The model looks absolutely gigantic, from the sagging bustline to the giant tummy to whatever that ungodly bubble is protruding from her back, to that butt, which is so sadly hidden beneath miles of crap. I’d have put this in the bottom instead of Mondo’s look. At least Mondo’s was fun – this is just sad.

Ivy’s Design – Bottom 3
(Constructed by Michael D)

I’ve seen designers get eliminated in week one for pulling out trash like this. How is it possible that Ivy has not been eliminated yet? Seriously, look through her work on this show, and you’ll realize that a) she’s terrified of color, b) her construction skills are weak at best and c) NOTHING she makes is fashionable. NOTHING. Everything is shapeless or styleless or colorless or all three, like this sad, sad garment. I know Michael D can’t sew, but that’s not the biggest problem here – Ivy didn’t design anything. She may as well have pulled out a few yards of fabric, wrapped it around her model, stapled it together, and sent her out on the runway. This is unacceptable.

Michael C’s Design
(Constructed by Mondo)

Trashy. The boobs don’t fit, the belt is fugly, the print is tacky and WHAT IS WITH ALL THE GIANT PANTS. Who is telling all the designers this season to just construct giant fugly pants and zippers? I’ve had enough. Even though this would probably be worn by a Jersey Shore cast member in Miami, at least it’s identifiably resort wear. So it gets a pass.

Michael D’s Design – Top 3
(Constructed by Ivy)

Can someone remind me again why this was in the top? Because I hate basically everything about this. It’s like the mother to April’s outfit. It’s so heavy, it feels overworked, and it’s almost as far from resort wear as Casanova’s design. The fit is atrocious and the material looks cheap.

Mondo’s Design – Bottom 3
(Constructed by Michael C)

When this first hit the runway, I really enjoyed it. Because in a sea of blacks and neutral colors, somebody had the balls to throw some color and joy into resort wear. Is this too junior for any real woman to wear? Yes. But at least Mondo had fun with this challenge and took a risk, showing multiple pieces in multiple patterns and colors. No matter how tacky it is, that will always get my respect over something like Ivy or Michael D’s designs.

Valerie’s Design
(Constructed by Andy)

This was cute but forgettable, and deserved its spot in the middle of the pack. Again, those shorts are a bit on the ginormous side, so they’re not very flattering (it just looks like arrows pointing to her hoo-ha) but I love the cover-up dress/jacket. Even though it’s basically falling apart at the seams, I think it’s still pretty gorgeous from the back.

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Check back later today for your weekly recap of all things celebrity fashion. And of course I’ll be keeping up with all the New York Fashion Week shows and working on some epic posts for you! Follow me on twitter @democracydiva for updates.

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Project Runway Recap: S8 E6

This week’s episode of Project Runway was about as awful as last week’s was wonderful. A snoozefest of a challenge – reappropriating ugly-ass bridesmaids gowns for normal women. It led to the predictable drama of contestants being dumbfounded at the sight of a woman over 115 pounds and everyone cringing over the tacky-ass fabrics they had to use. Snore. And once again, the judges managed to piss off the entire blogosphere by giving another undeserving win. Let’s start the show.

ANDY

Design: I’m not saying it’s ugly or poorly made, because it’s not. But honestly, who besides a sex worker would actually wear this? I think the straps are gorgeous and the whole look is flashy and fierce, but there’s something so streetwalker about those chains and the skintight black seemingly-leather shorts. Also, really? ANOTHER butt zipper?

Execution: Pretty great, particularly on the top.

Styling: If Andy can tone down his stripper-chic style into something a little bit more accessible, he’ll really have something. Until then, I still like his new mohawk.

APRIL

Design: Another funky and youthful design that has April’s name written all over it. I’m a little bit concerned about how she really only designs things that she’d wear, but girl knows how to rock some blouse embellishments, and I like that. On TV, all the intricacies of the blouse really pop, and from the front, the dress is rouched nicely and fits her well. Loving the sleeve length, too.

Execution: From the back, this is clearly a bit too short, and the zipper points like a crooked arrow to her no-no zone. It looks much rougher in general from the back than from the front, which is problematic. But it’s a fine job overall.

Styling: LOVING the dramatic high pony and classic heels. They really make this girl look like a model.

CASANOVA

Design: I feel like socialites must have worn this to St. Tropez in 1984, and I don’t mean that as a compliment. The top is nice enough from the front, but the back just looks like a mistake. And blue satin skintight pedal-pushers? Are we serious?

Execution: Satin is an unforgiving fabric that shows every pucker and every mistake. Lucky Casanova got a “real girl” who looks like a model, or the judges might have noticed.

Styling: The hair looks stupid from the front, and those shoes should be a criminally punishable offense.

CHRISTOPHER

Design: This my choice for runner-up, as it’s one of the only garments on the runway that’s actually wearable. I mean, it doesn’t hurt for your “real woman” to drop out and Lifetime magically pulls out this glamazon for you to use, but Christopher did a hell of a job. I’d wear this dress tomorrow.

Execution: From the back, it looks shorter on one side than the other, or perhaps the hem isn’t straight, but it’s a minor offense. Very skilled handiwork overall.

Styling: Less is more. Simple shoes, a funky bracelet, and sex hair is all you need.

GRETCHEN

Design: I think the top and bottom are both great garments, but you’d have to be nuts to wear them together. The hand-painted shirt is exquisite; if it were a little longer in the front, I think any woman could rock that with a pair of skinny jeans. And the skirt is a dream. But it was a mistake to pair them with each other.

Execution: Everything looks just slightly unfinished – not sure if that’s intentional or not.

Styling: Gretchen needs to tear herself away from those tacky boots – she’s used them before, and they only make things uglier.

IVY

Design: Sorry, I just fell asleep looking at this picture. This is just so blah. Very housewife/country club. But shiny.

Execution: The top looks nice, but it’s all draping and no sewing. And once again, Ivy has proven that she can make a really ugly pair of pants.

Styling: The hair is Hillary Clinton meets Nancy Pelosi. Would you want to see that on a runway?

MICHAEL C

Design: Where do I begin? The length and cut of the sleeve is ugly. The pieces on the skirt look like they were added at the last minute and make the whole dress look sloppy. And I think it looks like a morbid 80s prom dress. AND THERE’S ANOTHER BUTT ZIPPER.

Execution: It’s about a mile too short, and nothing about this looks well-made.

Styling: That hair and makeup belongs in a burlesque show in rural Alabama.

MICHAEL D

Design: One day, there will be a designer on this show who can look at a larger woman and craft something beautiful instead of something insane. I’m holding out hope. I can’t say it any better than Michael did: She went from bridesmaid to bat mitzvah.

Execution: Where the lace meets the pink in the back of the dress – it’s a disaster area. And that black netting looks about as cheap as can be.

Styling: What the FUCK is that hair? (Cute shoes, though.)

MONDO

Design: An absolute winner in my heart, Mondo took a tacky disaster and turned it into this mod wonder. I would live in this dress. Unbelievably cute, great use of color-blocking, and totally body-conscious and flattering.

Execution: Nearly flawless.

Styling: I know everyone hated this Jersey Shore styling, but I stand by Mondo’s decision. I think that weird little man was inspired by this girl’s Jersey City roots (and her orange fake tan) and decided to run with it, Snookie-style. I love that she looks like she’s straight off the Seaside boardwalk.

PEACH

Design: Every mistake you can make was made here. The top is a disaster, and the green ruffles are absurd.

Execution: Everything looks homesewn.

Styling: Combat boots and stick-straight hair? I love the 90s just as much as the next girl, but come on.

VALERIE

Design: I love Valerie, but I judge her for not knowing how to design for a normal-sized woman. Because on a 5’10” size zero, this dress would have looked fucking awesome. But all the color-blocking just serves to point to different body parts in the least flattering of ways. And the back is flat-out tacky.

Execution: It’s just too tight, especially the straps in the back which look like they’re straining to rein her in. This woman should sue for defamation – her body is way better than this dress makes it seem.

Styling: The hair looks like a cheap wig, the purse doesn’t match, and black shoes would have been better.

Judge’s Top: Christopher, Mondo, Michael C (winner)
Diva’s Top: April, Christopher, Mondo (winner of my heart)

Judge’s Bottom: Valerie, Michael D, Peach (out)
Diva’s Bottom: Casanova, Michael D, Peach

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Check back for more fashion and fabulous later this week! And don’t forget to follow your favorite diva on twitter @democracydiva!

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The Week in Fashion

Best Reason to Love American Boys

Nothing’s cuter than a well-dressed nerd with an adorable dog – except when said nerd and dog are wearing Ray Bans! For wealthy girls looking for gifts for hipster boys, the rain jacket is by Gant Rugger; cardigan and shirt are by J. Crew; the gorgeous pants are by Band of Outsiders; and the shoes are of course Ferragamo.

Best Reason to Love European Men

The glasses, the jeans, the shoes, the blazers – all unique, all gorgeous, all classically European and gorgeous.

Over The Hills

A word to the wise – Betty White from the waist up and Paris Hilton from the waist down is not a look that works on anybody. A frumpy, matronly jacket with a miniskirt? And the only people who still style their hair and makeup like that are the wives of relatively unsuccessful Southern politicians.

Cutest Casual Wear

Bilson looks this good just running her goddamn ERRANDS. The top is perfect – that color is so summery and fabulous, and the little bitty hint of black bra peeking out is totally sexy. The shorts are the perfect length; she just looks perfectly petite, funky, and chic.

Worst of the Week

When you’re dressed for a Mormon compound, shouldn’t you wear pants?

Most Surprisingly Classy

Katy Perry

Katy, is that you? I’ve never seen you in anything that actually resembled clothing, let alone beautiful clothing. This dress is gorgeous, perfect for traipsing around Paris (where this photo was taken), and those heels are a shoe fanatic’s wet dream. Love the little belt cinching her waist, and loving the hints of crazy colors in her hair to remind you that she’s still a loony pop star.

Posted by democracydiva

Emmys 2010 Red Carpet

Grab your leopard-print snuggie and a bottle of wine, bitches, ’cause this could take awhile.

Mad Women

I’ve been trying for days to like this dress, and I just can’t. It just looks like melted-down solo cups. The texture is horrible, and those cones on her boobs are absurd. That blue might be one of the best colors I’ve ever seen on the red carpet, particularly with January’s coloring, but even that can’t save this hot disaster. And that hair? If you want to have sex in the limo on the way to the Emmys, more power to you. But that does not give you license to have sex hair on the red carpet. Your all-American beauty looks will only take you so far, January. They may get you an Emmy nomination, but you won’t get this Diva’s approval until you learn how to dress.

My sister Haley brought up an intriguing question to me today: Does Christina Hendricks have an unusually small head? Or, as I posited, is it merely that any head would look tiny atop those giant hooters? Just something to think about. Regardless of the answer, Hendricks is rocking this dress. Totally unusual color, and it complements her hair beautifully. Redheads always rock green and purple outfits, and Miss Joan is no exception. Loving how this dress cinches her waist, shows off her ta-tas without looking vulgar, and then gets all soft and billowy and feathery at the bottom. I think there’s a little too much length at the bottom, but it’s a small complaint. And the sleeves are to die for.

Elisabeth Moss in Donna Karan

Beautiful, simple, and classic, just like Elisabeth Moss herself. The draping is incredible, the color makes her glow, the shoulder piece adds a little intrigue, and I even like the train (and I hate trains). The bling is AMAZING – those bracelets are seriously opulent – and nothing’s better than that sassy little smile.

Kiernan Shipka in Papo d’Anjo

You can take your Bettys and Joans and Peggys, but Sally Draper is the real deal. That dress is precious, the hair is awesome, and my ten-year-old self would have killed for those little tiny high heels. Also, her name is Kiernan Shipka, which is awesome.

Modern Ladies

It’d be fine without the awkward stripe down the middle. It’s a perfect cut and color for her, but I wish it had some more intrigue and complexity other than the stripe, which is just not particularly beautiful. But the hair is amazing.

This just has too much going on. Less is more, people, and those ruffles over her boobs are just masking Julie’s beauty. This bitch doesn’t age, and has the hair and skin of a freakin’ newborn, but I look at this photo and I only see fabric, not the fabulous woman underneath it.

This is incredibly mature (but not aging) for someone as young as Sarah Hyland, who plays Claire and Phil’s oldest daughter on Modern Family. And she is rocking the hell out of this dress. The fabric is so luxe, it looks like liquid. It also makes her look about six feet tall and totally stacked. The braided/twisted straps are a dream, and the hair is perfect. I hope she doesn’t end up doing crack in five years.

And our favorite middle child is also nailing something chic beyond her years. I could do without the Bat Mitzvah hair and the embroidery on the bodice, but I’m loving the black-on-blue skirt and the funky, stylistic draping.

Glitter Queens

Easily the best dressed of the night, Claire Danes proves that simplicity is the name of the game. This dress is phenomenal and it fits her like a glove. I love that the color is just a sparkling version of her own skin tone. I may prefer her with bottled-red hair and flannel shirts, but I will always love Angela Chase.

Jennifer Carpenter in Oday Shakar

Stunning.

Gleeks Gone Glam

Hello, gorgeous! This was my other favorite gown of the night. Not every designer can take a 5’2″ girl and make her look statuesque, but of course Oscar can! The color is amazing, the gown is divalicious, her jewelry is awesome (I bet we’re going to see knockoffs of that necklace EVERYWHERE), and this bitch knows how to POSE. The hair could have been a little more formal, but that’s my only complaint.

Jayma’s beautiful, but this dress is Lea’s dress’s less hot little sister. The jewelry is tacky and her hair is a mess.

The cutest little queer on two legs. LOVING the treble clef pin on his lapel!

Work it out, Quinn! Black and pink lace together is one of my favorite things on the planet, especially in formal wear. Gorgeous dress with perfect hair and makeup to boot. But she does look a little sad, especially for a ridiculously hot girl on a hit Emmy-nominated TV show. Maybe she’s sad because she’s secretly in love with Matt Morrison, who is over her right shoulder, staring at her shoes instead of her ass. He’s a closet case, honey. Move on.

Brittany pulled out all the stops, rocking some serious old-school Hollywood glam. Very impressive for such a red carpet newbie! The makeup artist was a little heavy-handed, but the hair is flawless.

If you took Cha Cha DiGregorio from Grease and added a Lady Gaga wig, you’d get this photo. Seriously, Naya, we all like to play dress-up, but this is your first Emmy red carpet. Is this how you really want to be remembered? In a slutty 80s prom dress, boring shoes, and a hairstyle so stupid even Rihanna hates it?

Funny and Fabulous

Holy couture! Kathy Griffin’s body has never looked better, and it takes a confident bitch to rock Oscar with that much certainty. Get it, girl.

Amy Poehler gave birth THREE WEEKS AGO and already looks this good. We should all be so lucky. The color is gorgeous, her tits look amazing, and she’s allegedly wearing half a million dollars worth of Stephen Russell jewelry, though I can’t really see much of it.

Tina Fey in Oscar de la Renta

I could do without the hieroglyphic print, but for a woman who never looks comfortable in a dress, Tina is posing the hell out of this Oscar gown. It’s incredibly flattering to her figure, and it’s much funkier and fancier than she usually goes. It’s curve-hugging but not tight, and the hair and makeup are looking beautiful. Kudos to Ms. Fey for taking a fashion risk and finally having it pay off.

Funny and Feh

Mindy Kaling in Aguri Sagimori

I think Elvira wore this to her high school prom. The shoes are cute, but that hair is much funnier than this season of The Office and this haphazardly-draped crinoline disaster is no better. And a petite girl should know better than to wear a dress with such wacky proportions that ends in the middle of the calf. Unless you’re a supermodel, that’s going to make you look stumpy.

Kristen Wiig

Awful print, stupid belt, poorly fit, and stupid shoulder ruffles. Plus I don’t like the hair or makeup, and the purse is too busy. Fire your stylist, Kristen.

New Diva on the Block Award

Last I checked, Nina Dobrev was just another teen mom on Degrassi, and then she was just another teen vampire on Vampire Diaries, and then suddenly she was KILLING IT on the red carpet and performing in the epic Emmys opening number alongside the Glee cast, Tina Fey, Jon Hamm, Betty White, and the rest of TV’s elite. I can’t even believe how stunning she looks. The dress is borderline bridal, but it’s exquisite. The draping at the top is actually breathtaking. The hair is classy and glamorous, and those earrings were the perfect choice. Keep it up, Nina! Looking forward to seeing what else you’ve got.

Hottest Couple

Neil Patrick Harris (in Calvin Klein) and David Burtka

NPH’s suit is beyond chic. It seems men fall into two categories: basic boring suit/tux, or trying and failing to spice it up. Neil Patrick Harris, of course, is classy and stylish enough to pull off a funky suit and just look even more dashing. And David looks adorable, as always.

Worst Dressed

Oh, lord. A potato sack on top, a magician’s slutty assistant on the bottom, fugly shoes, and way too much jewelry. And that hair? Unless you’re in bed with a pint of Ben & Jerrys, that mess is inexcusable.

Nope. No. Just… no. Your puke-colored, flowered and rhinestoned dress should not have love handle cutouts.

What part of wearing a purple hairy tiered gown appealed to Emily? Because I think she needs to seek mental help.

Stephanie Pratt in Marciano

Sometimes I forget my pants in the limo too, Steph. It happens.

Lo Bosworth in Karen Caldwell

Lo Bosworth thought she was dressing like Mad Men here. She didn’t get the memo that a dress that looks amazing on a 1960s secretary in an office does not necessarily look awesome on a 2010 red carpet. She looks like she’s off to a business lunch, not an awards show. And that skirt should be about four inches shorter. The shoes don’t go, she’s wearing a stupidly large number of rings, and the hair is so bad, it’s almost funny.

Kate Gosselin in Carmen Marc Valvo

For the love of God, just go be with your children and leave us all alone.

Anna Paquin in Alexander McQueen

I love a girl who’s loyal to a designer, especially McQueen, but there’s a time and a place, and this ain’t it. The armored top looks insane, and the skirt is totally wrong. Way too many bracelets, and no hair style to speak of.

Heidi Klum in Marchesa

We get it, Heidi. You like short dresses. But you’re also not 18 and while I’d never tell a woman who looks as good as you that she needs to cover up, this shtick is getting a little tired. It’s not that you’re too old to wear dresses that show your cooter – it’s that your vagina must be tired of all the attention, because we’re tired of seeing her. And is your hair in a flip? The same style that all the boys in my middle school were rocking circa 2001? Because it didn’t work on them, and it sure as hell doesn’t work on you.

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Later this week: Your weekly fashion recap (cover all things non-Emmys, from red carpet to editorials and more) and of course, your weekly Project Runway recap! Follow @democracydiva on twitter for updates.

Posted by democracydiva

Emmys Liveblog

8:00 – All my GLEE biddies being adorable in the first one minute of the show? YES!

8:02 – “BACK THAT MOTHER UP!” Betty White to Jon Hamm, living every woman’s dream.

8:03 – The singing has begun!!!!! We’re loving ALL OF THIS.

8:04 – Um, okay teen mom from Degrassi / biddie from Vampire Diaries. What are you doing in the all-star cast song?

8:05 – Tim Gunn has already made his epic cameo, Randy Jackson is playing bass, and JON HAMM IS DANCING.

8:06 – Mercedes rocked that last note! And that was the most incredible opening performance. What an unexpectedly wonderful group of people! Such a great idea.

8:07 – Emi: Jimmy Fallon looks a little inflated.
Matt: He probably had Chipotle two nights in a row.

8:08 – Amy Poehler is looking gorgeous, but you can see her nips through that dress a bit!

8:09 – We’re screaming over the clips of NPH, Jane Lynch’s amazing one-liners, and everything Cameron from Modern Family.

8:11: What a scene to end on, Emmys comedy clip! Awkward. But now Jon Hamm and Betty White are walking out to the theme from The Odd Couple, and everyone’s being sexual. And we’re loving it.

8:11: Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy: Chris Colfer, Jon Cryer, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Ty Burrell, Neil Patrick Harris, Eric Stonestreet. And the Emmy goes to… ERIC STONESTREET! (This Diva is now 0/1 for predictions, as she thought it’d go to NPH.

8:13: Jesse Tyler Ferguson is CRYING for Eric Stonestreet, and I am so emotional. Until Emi says, “Where’s Lily?” [Cam and Mitch’s Asian daughter on Modern Family.] But I teared up again when Stonestreet mentioned his father.

8:14: Room consensus: Amazing speech.

8:18: Aaaand, we’re back! Jon Hodgeman from The Daily Show is already making me giggle. Fun fact from Diva Headquarters: According to Justin, Jim Parsons is gay! And my lesbian side hopes co-presenter Sofia Vergara is gay too!

8:19: Writing for a Comedy Series: And the Emmy goes to… the writers for Modern Family! So deserved. Brilliant writing, and a particularly brilliant pilot. MF is now 2/2 for Emmys! Also, they showed Julie Bowen beaming during the writer’s speech, looking absolutely flawless and so happy for her team.

8:22: Stephen Colbert looks good! And Tom Hanks’ wife Rita looks unbelievably beautiful. Outstanding Performance by a Supporting Actress in a Comedy. The nominees: Julie Bowen, Jane Krakowski, Jane Lynch, someone I missed, and Sofia Vergara, and Kristen Wiig.

8:24: JANE LYNCH, OF COURSE! I’m now 1/3 for predictions. And Jane Lynch deserves this beyond belief. Her speech is heartfelt and beautiful and funny, and she’s so incredibly likable. “I’d like to thank my Lord and Creator, Ryan Murphy.” Another perfect speech.

8:30: Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry. He looks slightly busted and her dress is fug. And could their back-and-forth be more awkward? Anyway, they’re talking about who won Guest in a Comedy awards last week. Obviously Betty White won for SNL and NPH won for Glee. Both deserved.

8:34: Ryan Murphy wins Best Directing for GLEE! His blue jacket is super-cute, even if his bow tie is too big. Plus, I also love fingerpainting.

8:35: The Family Guy/Modern Family skit is pretty hilarious. And Clooney in bed with Stonestreet and Ferguson at the end was just priceless.

8:37: Lead Actor in a Comedy. The Emmy goes to… Jim Parsons for The Big Bang Theory! Well, that was a disappointment. 1/4.

8:44: NEIL. PATRICK. HARRIS. Just called Jimmy Fallon gay, which was pretty epic. Lead Actress in a Comedy. And the winner is… EDIE FALCO! No surprise there, even if she wasn’t my pick. But she gets applause from me for giving a shout-out to her 94-year-old grandma.

8:47: Kim Kardashian sang. Let’s watch the Reality clip show. Epic because of Snooki’s “McCain would never put a tax on tanning” line.

8:49: Keri Russell and Jewel are in the house? What year is it? Will Arnett could make a statue giggle. Best Reality Show: Top Chef! Congrats, Collichio and Co.

8:50: This room is convinced that Padma is high as a kite. I can’t quite disagree.

8:56: Um, okay Ernst & Young accountants.

8:57: Drama clip reel. The clip from True Blood makes it seem like the stupidest fucking show on television.

9:00: Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series. King and King for The Good Wife, Levy and Weiner for Mad Men, Jones for Friday Night Lights, Veith and Weiner for Mad Men… I got distracted. But Weiner won for Mad Men.

9:04: Best Supporting Actor in a Drama, and the Emmy goes to Aaron Paul for Breaking Bad. I liked him on Big Love (thank you Nate for reminding me why I recognized him).

9:09: Emily Deschanel’s dress is a whole lot of look. Not sure I can handle that many eggplant doilies.

9:10: Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama. And the Emmy goes to… Archie Panjabi! I don’t know who you are, but you’re beautiful and so is your accent.

9:12: Edie Falco looks pretty fabulous. A little thin, no? Lead Actor in a Drama. Ryan Cranston from Breaking Bad! I wikipedia-ed him to figure out why I know him – he was Ted Mosby’s douchey boss on How I Met Your Mother!

9:17: Fun fact, this is what Christina Hendricks is wearing tonight:

Christina Hendricks in Zac Posen

I’m actually loving this. Zac Posen usually only works on itsy-bitsy girls like Rachel Bilson, so it’s nice to see a woman with serious curves rocking this gown. Her hair versus the mauve color of the dress is fabulous, no? And it’s dramatic, but only as dramatic as a woman nominated for Best Supporting Actress in a Drama should be.

9:20: Announcing last week’s Guest Actress and Guest Actor in a Drama awards. John Lithgow and Ann Margaret – congrats! Don’t care.

9:21: Best Directing for a Drama. The Emmy goes to… Steve Schill of Dexter.

9:23: “Jimmy Fallon is inflated, so he looks like Elton John!” – Emi

9:24: Love me some quick change! Now it’s time for Jimmy to dress like a… a… oh, honeys, even I don’t think I have words for this.

9:25: But his Billy Joe Armstrong is pretty great, and the Lost song was damn funny.

9:31: Un-funny Mr. Schue hair jokes. But Matt Morrison and Tina Fey? Two of my favs. Lead Actress in a Drama: Connie Britton, Glenn Close, Mariska Harigtay, January Jones, Julianna Marguiles, and Kyra Sedgwick. And the Emmy goes to… Kyra Sedgwick!

9:33: Barely audible, Tina Fey says “At least I’ll hold one tonight!” when Kyra passes Tina her Emmy. Kyra’s speech is obnoxious and self-serving. But her dress is nice.

9:35: The variety clip reel! Ending with gorgeous shots of DC. We live here.

9:38: Jeff Probst looks like the Mayor of Munchkin land next to Joel McHale.

9:39: The TONY awards won Best Writing for a Variety Show! I hope the Backstage Barbie is kvelling right now.

9:43: Are these commercials a joke? We’ve seen a miniature pet giraffe, the ghost of Billy Mays, an ungodly amount of advertising for AVON, and more weirdness.

9:45: Ricky Gervais! One of the funniest men on earth. Hope he’s got something good. He is dressed FAR too casually.

10:07: Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or Movie: Julia Ormand for Temple Grandin.

9:47: Perfect Mel Gibson joke: “He’s been through a lot…. Not as much as the Jews.” – Ricky Gervais. Followed by beer for the front rows.

9:48: Directing for a Variety Show. BUCKY GUNTZ for the win! Hilarious not only because of Gervais’s comments, but awesome because he’s Nate’s friend’s dad!

9:51: Outstanding Variety Show. Nominees: The Colbert Report, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Real Time with Bill Maher, Saturday Night Live, and CONAN. But the Emmy goes to The Daily Show!

9:59: John Schaffman is one queer bird.

10:00: I’m not crazy about Juliana Marguiles’s dress. It’s a little meh. And she looks like she goes to the same plastic surgeon as Madonna. But George Clooney is honored with the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award. And he’s getting a standing ovation. Even Betty White stood, slow as the old bitch is.

10:06: January Jones and John Krasinski? Delicious. But why is she wearing a dress made of melted solo cups?

10:14: Claire Danes looks beautiful. Supporting Actor for a Miniseries or Movie. And the Emmy goes to… David Strathairn for Temple Grandin! “In many ways, we are teachers…” Oh, honey, get off your high horse.

10:17: Jewel’s performance is TERRIBLE. The baby voice is so unnecessary. You’re a grown woman.

10:19: I completely forgot that Corey Haim passed away. And I can’t believe how sad I am about the voice of Charlie from Charlie’s Angels passing away. Sad all over again about Rue and Brittany.

10:20: I’m sorry, but can someone remind me how they landed on JEWEL for this performance?

10:25: Writing for a Movie/Miniseries winner: Adam Maizer for You Don’t Know Jack.

10:27: Lead Actress in a Movie/Miniseries. CLAIRE DANES IS THE WINNER! She looks fucking INCREDIBLE and she is my BIGGEST LESBIAN CRUSH and her dress and hair are PERFECT. I am Angela Chase.

10:32: I like this commercial with everyone putting their arms up. I have pictures of me doing that on a mountain in Israel and a moor in England.

10:34: Here’s team True Blood. They’re boring and none of them are good looking. I’m not into vampires. Vampires are just the poor man’s wizards.

10:35: Directing for a Movie/Miniseries. The winner… Mick Jackson for Temple Gradin! A beautiful speech for what seems like an amazing show about an incredible person. I’d really like to watch that.

10:38: Lead Actor in a Movie/Miniseries. The Emmy goes to… Al Pacino for You Don’t Know Jack. And did y’all hear that Angels in America shoutout? My favorite.

10:40: Is Al Pacino really still talking? JACK IS REALLY IN THE HOUSE! Whoa.

10:45: Oh hi Laurence Fishburn. Outstanding Miniseries… Pacific wins! And Tom Hanks is accepting the award. I just love the sound of his voice.

10:47: Outstanding Movie… Temple Grandin wins it again! They sure have swept. I plan on seeing that and You Don’t Know Jack as soon as possible. I’m almost crying at this incredibly emotional and beautiful speech.

10:50: Tom Selleck in the house. “Best Moustache in the Business,” according to Nate. Outstanding Drama Series nominees: Breaking Bad, Dexter, The Good Wife, Lost, Mad Men, and True Blood. And the Emmy goes to… Mad Men for the third consecutive year! 17 nominations this year – unbelievable.

10:51: Elisabeth Moss’s left shoulder looks amazing during this speech. And little Draper daughter looks SO ADORABLE! Basically, everyone but January. Sigh.

10:56: Cheers guy announcing Outstanding Comedy Series? Okay. And the award goes to… MODERN FAMILY! Definitely deserving. And Manny looks beyond adorable. Actually, the entire cast and crew looks pretty perfect.

10:59: Thank you and goodnight! Don’t forget to check back later this week for the Emmys red carpet recap!

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