FAN BINGBING in Beijing // gown by Armani Privé
One of my personal nominees for most stylish woman on earth, Fan Bingbing hit the red carpet in stunning Armani, in an icy seafoam green-blue shade that is absolute heaven on her perfect porcelain skin. I love the way the bodice somehow hints at body armor, I love the futuristic metallic shine, and that strip of beading at the top is beyond exquisite. Add Disney princess hair, perfectly fresh-faced makeup, and those divine earrings, and my heart just melts away. I’m not sold on the purse, but I think it’s kind of cool, and everything else about this is so mind-blowing I couldn’t possibly care.
JESSICA ALBA in Beijing // dress by Narcisco Rodriguez
She’s sex on a stick, but more importantly, she looks stylish and chic as hell. The side cut-outs are perfectly executed, she always looks amazing in white, and the hair and makeup are flawless. I dig the mega-divalicious shoes (not my style, but great on her) and the phenomenal boxy white clutch, rounded out with some lovely but subtle jewelry. Totally delicious.
CATHERINE, DUCHESS OF CAMBRIDGE at the Diamond Jubilee // dress and purse by Alexander McQueen, hat by Sylvia Fletcher, shoes by L.K. Bennett
The fashion blogosphere freaked out over Duchess Kate and Kim Kardashian wearing the same dress. Apocalypse believers, add this to your list of things that confirm the end of the world in 2012. But in reality, this dress, while inspired by the one Kim wore, was custom-made for Kate by Sarah Burton herself to be longer, more demure, and generally more appropriate for a princess rather than a desperate reality television famewhore. So rest easy – the apocalypse is not upon us. Kate looks delicious in red, and in McQueen, as always. The hat is positively jubilant, if you’ll pardon the pun, and I love the red clutch and the plaid scarf she’s holding. As usual, the disappointment lies in Kate’s favorite nude L.K. Bennett pumps, which she wears constantly, to the chagrin of myself and many of my dear readers. Voice your feelings on the shoes in the comments!
KRISTEN STEWART in New York City // dress by Narcisco Rodriguez, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Looks like stylish Kristen Stewart is slowly creeping up on us again! To date, this is probably the most beautiful and chic she’s ever looked, because she’s not in some ridiculous Hollywood ball gown. She’s in something simple, funky, and totally gorgeous, with (praise all the angels in heaven!) BRUSHED HAIR and classic (if slightly dull) pumps. Girl, you have some gorgeous hair when you actually run a comb through it once in awhile! Please, do us all a favor and keep that ritual going, at least for the big events, okay? Anyway, this dress is perfect for her – from the thick leather(?) straps to the pop of olive green to the gorgeous black strip down the sides of the skirt, it’s all working.
ALEXA CHUNG in London // dress by Moschino, purse by Charlotte Olympia, shoes by Valentino
Yes, this dress is more suited for a six-year-old girl than a twenty-something starlet, but it’s Alexa Chung. Like Zooey Deschanel, we’ll have to pry the “I’m such a hipster, I can dress like a little girl and look so cool” dresses from her cold, dead hands. But I don’t hate it, and I like the shoes, and her makeup looks lovely. Lose the inexplicable flamingo purse, and continue on the road towards hair that looks like it belongs on a mentally healthy human being, and we’re good.
MARY-KATE and ASHLEY OLSEN in New York City // on MK: blouse, skirt, and purse by The Row, shoes by Fendi; on A: dress by The Row, shoes by Manolo Blahnik
Oh, good! More frumpy extra-large The Row dresses to make us ponder how the fuck these girls won Womenswear Designers of the Year at the CFDA Fashion Awards. Ashley’s isn’t too terrible (that’s the one in the white dress, if you’re easily confused like me), though it’s a predictable two sizes too large on her. Mary-Kate, as usual, is even more unreasonably baggy. But the shoes are all-around phenomenal, particularly MK’s Fendis, so at least they can get something right.
MINKA KELLY in Jersey City // dress by Z Spoke by Zac Posen, shoes by Christian Louboutin
A simple but lovely LWD, made stylish by a love pair of Louboutins. Some jewelry, loose hair, barely-there makeup: perfect for the outdoor daytime red carpet event.
KRYSTEN RITTER in Hollywood // dress by Alexander McQueen, purse and shoes by Jimmy Choo
Props to Ms. Ritter, because this dress is kind of killer and definitely difficult to wear. She makes it look like a simple LBD, but on a less stylish woman, all those studded embellishments could look a little stupid. The shoes are heavenly, but I would have gone for some more contrast in the clutch. And I’m not sure these bangs are working for her, at least when the rest of her hair is up.
EMMA STONE at the Spike TV Guys’ Choice Awards // dress by Versace, shoes by Tom Ford
Not your best work, Emma. The dress itself is all kinds of awesome, but we all know leather dresses are hard to wear. She’d be wearing it well, if it weren’t for the DIY-looking makeup and virtually no styling whatsoever. Black pumps and no jewelry whatsoever? I don’t care if it’s the Guys’ Choice Awards – you can be a little more daring than this.
MICHELLE DOCKERY at the Glamour Women of the Year Awards // dress by Erdem
Downton Abbey‘s Lady Mary and her perfect eyebrows looked fabulous at Glamour‘s Women of the Year Awards, as she chose a particularly stunning Erdem dress for the occasion. I myself am a huge Erdem fan, Anglophile that I am, though the fit of this dress leaves something to be desired. The skirt’s an inch or two too long, and the waist could fit her better and be infinitely more flattering. But those are some seriously hideous shoes, and I wish she’d wear her lovely hair down.
JESSICA BROWN-FINDLAY at the Glamour Women of the Year Awards // dress by Valentino
And here’s Lady Sybil, at the same event, donning a gorgeous floral dress by Valentino. (I guess just like on Downton Abbey, no one bothered to invite Lady Edith.) It’s your basic starlet starter dress – pinkish nude, floral, safe – and the shoes are downright awful, but she’s got some style potential.
JESSICA BROWN-FINDLAY in London // dress by Peter Pilotto
Love the curly hair on her, but she needs to part it differently in order for it to work. The dress itself isn’t very pretty and doesn’t flatter her at all, but it’s a little daring, and I respect that. Of course, she made the styling choices that are my biggest pet peeves – those same hideous yellow-nude platforms, AND a matching clutch, AND they match the color in the skirt. Not okay, Lady Sybil. Your purple bloomers were better than this.
ANNA PAQUIN in Los Angeles // dress by Rachel Comey, purse by Christian Louboutin, shoes by Casadei
I get that it’s cool to show up on a red carpet looking like your dress was attacked by rabid wolves, but it’s not something that’s ever worked for me. Pair it with platform peep-toes adorned with BOWS, for fuck’s sake, and it really doesn’t work. Love the jewelry, hair, makeup, and nails, but they can’t save this fishnet-and-glitter disaster. On the plus side, she’s pregnant, which I completely forgot about until just now, and I’ve been looking at this photo for days. So kudos to Ms. Paquin and the cute lil’ vampire growing inside her, because that is one seriously invisible baby bump.
CHARLIZE THERON in London // dress and shoes by Christian Dior
Hi, Charlize! It’s the Democracy Diva. I’m sure you heard of me by now, so I just wanted to know why you have so explicitly ignored my distaste for Hollywood starlets dressing like ice dancers. This is not a dress, this is a very pretty costume that Johnny Weir would rip off Michelle Kwan’s back, do you understand? I’d call that slit ridiculous, but you’ll need full use of your thighs to do those triple axels, so I suppose I understand.
KRISTEN BELL at the Spike TV Guys’ Choice Awards // dress by Jenny Packham, shoes by Jimmy Choo
Kristen, you’re adorable and everything, but this is a dress that says, “I’m a fifteen year old Disney star and this is my first red carpet, y’all!” You’re over thirty, darling. Keep the sexy Jimmy Choos and find an adult stylist.
IVANKA TRUMP in New York City // dress by J. Mendel
There’s a lot going on with that dress, and I think it was probably great on the runway, but it’s not so wonderful on Ivanka. The proportions are kind of a mess – it’s way too long and I don’t think the belt falls at a particularly flattering spot. The shoes are gorgeous, but they so do not belong with this outfit. Save them for a simpler dress so they can shine instead of competing with a crazy mixed print for attention.
MILA KUNIS at the Spike TV Guys’ Choice Awards // dress by Lanvin, shoes by Roger Vivier
Mila, I know your shiny hair, bedroom eyes, killer shoes, and general sexiness mean that it virtually does not matter what you wear to the Guys’ Choice Awards. But it matters to me, and this dress is fucking hideous on you. It looks like a vest had sex with a romper and gave birth to this mullet-skirted mutation.
COCO ROCHA in Jersey City // dress by Dennis Basso
Jesus. For a mega-gorgeous supermodel, Coco tends to dress herself pretty terribly. The “look how my dress matches my skin!” thing is so done, the gold pumps look very Golden Girls, and the makeup seems to have been applied by a drunk clown.
EVA LONGORIA in Los Angeles // dress by Marchesa, shoes by Brian Atwood
What’s it called when your face, neck, arms, and legs are all different colors? Look it up, Eva, because you have it. This is one overly complicated Marchesa dress – what the hell else is new – and the black satin shoes and matching purse are the least imaginative styling choices ever. The laser-cut leather is stunning, especially in the skirt, but with that mess on her neck and shoulders, it crosses the line into an overdesigned mess.
SALMA HAYEK in London // dress, purse, and shoes by Bottega Veneta
The dress is WAY too tight, but kind of futuristic-glam. And it would be a hundred times better on Lady Gaga. But Salma wouldn’t look bad in it – the hair and makeup are sleek and chic – if it weren’t for the world’s stupidest purple accessories. Is she joking? Or is she Barney the Dinosaur’s drag queen cousin?